Put Yourself First

The number 1 word my clients use when they first start coaching with me is clarity.

Clarity on what they actually want. Clarity on what to do next. Even clarity on who they want to be. If you’re feeling stuck right now, with a big decision to make, a career move you’re mulling over, or big goals for 2027 you can’t quite put pen to paper on, this episode is for you.

In a 1 hour session I can help a woman untangle her thoughts like a giant ball of string.

But there are things you can do in your own week to get clear, and I’m sharing 3 of them here.

In this episode, I talk about:

• the one thing most of us reach for the second we’re alone (and why it might be keeping you foggy)
• why sitting with a notebook, waiting for the answer to arrive, might not be how it works
• why waiting for a lightbulb moment could be the very thing keeping you from clarity

You might notice you’re neglecting one of these. You might notice you’ve already got one down and it’s carried you through a season where you needed a lot of reflection.

A woman who knows what she wants is unstoppable. A woman who knows her full fuck yes from her full hell no is powerful beyond measure.

Mentioned in this episode

I’m building a brand new coaching programme that starts in January 2027.

If you want a private invite and all the details before anyone else, DM me the word COACHING on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kat_horrocks/

The Put Yourself First Sisterhood closes at the end of 2026. In this episode I’m telling you how it started, what the women inside went on to do, and the part I was most scared to say out loud: what it felt like to choose to close the thing I’m best known for.

In this episode:

• Where the Sisterhood began, and why the first women asked me not to stop
• What the women inside created, from moving across the world to speaking up without shaking
• How the way women access personal development has changed in 6 years
• The real risk of closing something that works, and why I did it anyway
• Why an ending and a beginning can arrive on the same day

If you’ve ever walked away from something good to build something truer, this one’s for you.

Something new is coming in January 2027.

Want to hear about it before anyone else? DM me the word COACHING on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kat_horrocks/

Trigger warning: This episode talks about grief, death and end of life care.

Ladies, I haven't come on here for a proper chit chat in a while. So grab a coffee (or a glass of wine, no judgement) because this one is a catch up.

2026 has been the best and worst year of my life. I married Adam on 20 June. On 31 July, his mum Diane passed away after a brutal, fast battle with cancer. Same summer. Same year. The duality of life is real.

In this episode, I'm sharing what the last 2 months have actually looked like.

What we talk about:

• The highest high and the lowest low in the same summer
• The story of coming home from Italy to see Diane, and why I believe she held on until we got back
• What it was like to be there in her final moments, and why it felt like a portal
• Easing back into work in September and finding the balance in grief (there is no right way to do it)
• The women in my community who showed up with voice notes, cards and flowers, and what that kinship in grief meant to me
• Running my first half marathon on 4 October for The Christie, the cancer centre that treated Diane earlier in her life
• How the race really went: under trained, quad cramps at 16.5km, electrolyte mistakes and hyperventilating over the finish line like a toddler mid tantrum
• Runner's flu, the lessons running has taught me about self belief and rest, and why I'm going back to parkrun for the next 6 months
• Why the hardest moments can be fertile soil for what comes next
• The feeling I had in 2019 when I launched my first group programme, and why I'm feeling it again

Big news: Something major is changing in my business in 2027. It feels like a fresh start. I'll announce it properly on the podcast next week. If you follow me on Instagram, you'll hear before then.

If this episode hit home, go and listen to:

• My episode on entering your rebuilding season and getting your spark back
• My episode on supporting a loved one through anticipatory grief

Support The Christie: If you'd like to donate to the charity I ran for, you can do that here: https://www.justgiving.com/page/kat-horrocks

Connect on IG: https://www.instagram.com/kat_horrocks/

If you enjoyed this episode, share it with a girl who needs it. And if you've got a minute, leave a rating and review. It helps more women find the show.

I'll chat to you next week. Big, big announcement.

In September, I hosted my 5th annual Put Yourself First Live, and this week I'm sharing the 3 biggest takeaways from the women in the room.

In this episode, I cover:

• Knowing your season: why the season you're in (growth, rest, recovery, whatever it is) determines your capacity, your boundaries, and what you can realistically expect from yourself right now
• The power of guided reflection: why I'll keep banging on about looking back and celebrating how far you've come for decades to come, and how you can create that space for yourself even without an event to go to
• The value of real community: what it means to be in a room (or an online space) full of women who just get it, and why putting yourself out there into new communities, even when it's uncomfortable, is so worth it

I also share a little hint about something new coming in my world in 2027. Head to Instagram to be the first to know more.

Connect with me:
https://www.instagram.com/kat_horrocks/

This week I'm talking about the gap between understanding something and living it. Why that lightbulb moment feels so good, why it can leave you more frustrated when nothing changes, and the question I'm happy to be unpopular for asking every client.

In this episode

• Why awareness feels so good (hello, dopamine) and why it's not the same as a shift
• My teacher's pet confession, and why even I'm not immune
• How the hardest working women can still get caught in this
• Why understanding your patterns can leave you more resentful and more stuck
• The difference between knowing you're a people pleaser and embodying a woman who puts herself first
• What a client told me about why she keeps coming back to work with me
• What women need instead of more to consume
• Why even I block out study days a month in advance
• How your habits decide what your life looks like in six months

The question to sit with

Once you've had the reflection and the understanding, ask yourself: and now what are you going to do about it?

Something big is coming

I'm building something new, and it comes straight from everything in this episode. Sisterhood members will hear first. Everyone else, I'll announce it here at the end of October.

Instagram is where you'll see it in real time, so make sure we're connected on there - https://www.instagram.com/kat_horrocks/

This one's for the woman rebuilding herself right now. Maybe you're coming out the other side of grief, a breakup, a job loss, or just a proper existential "what the hell am I doing" moment. Maybe it's not an ending at all, maybe it's a beginning: a new place, a new job, a new chapter you didn't see coming.

I'm sharing this from the middle of my own rebuild. Adam's mum passed away this summer after a short and brutal battle with cancer, and life has looked nothing like what we thought this year would be. I've been in proper survival mode. But I've turned a corner, and I'm ready to get my spark back.

In this episode I'm talking about:

• Why the instinct to fill your diary with admin and plans isn't actually rebuilding anything
• The one question I asked myself (and Adam asked me) that cut straight through the overwhelm
• Why trying to be everything to everyone right now is keeping you stuck
• The two simple rituals I've gone back to that ground me before I even open my laptop
• Why your alone time deserves the same reverence you'd give your closest relationship, and what happens when you skip it
• The "fuck it" permission slip I'm giving you to be a bit more selfish for a while

If you've been the one doing the most, the over-giver, the over-functioner, this episode is your nudge to put yourself first and fill your own cup back up.

Comment on Spotify or DM me @kat_horrocks and tell me what you're taking into your own rebuild. - https://www.instagram.com/kat_horrocks/

Here's something I say to almost every client I work with: you are so much more comfortable with your own discomfort than you are with someone else's.

You'll stay late at work instead of protecting your evening. You'll hold space for a friend when you've got nothing left to give. You'll bite your tongue with your partner instead of rocking the boat. All so someone else never has to feel even a flicker of inconvenience.

In this episode, I'm naming that pattern and asking the question that flips it on its head: can you get comfortable with someone else's discomfort for once, instead of always absorbing it yourself?

What I cover in this episode:

The pattern itself, and the three places I see it show up most: at work (staying late instead of holding your boundary), in friendship (holding space when you've got no capacity left), and in relationships (biting your tongue to avoid an argument, instead of saying the true thing).

Why this isn't noble. It's self-abandonment. You're not being kind, you're managing everyone else's comfort at the expense of your own needs, your yes, your no, your truth.

Why boundaries feel so hard to hold. At the root of it, a boundary asks someone else to inconvenience themselves in some way, and most women would rather sit in their own exhaustion than let someone else sit in that discomfort, even briefly.

The reframe I want you to sit with: inconvenience is the price of community. Reciprocal relationships need both people to be inconvenienced sometimes. If you're always the one absorbing it, that's not community, that's imbalance, and it will eventually break.

The question I leave you with: why do you let others receive that ease and reliability from you constantly, but won't let yourself receive it back from them when you genuinely need it?

My challenge for you this week: find the one relationship in your life where you're always the one absorbing the discomfort, and get curious about what it would feel like to let someone else carry a bit of it instead.

If this episode stirred something up in you, or felt like a bit of a call-out, DM me on Instagram and let me know - https://www.instagram.com/kat_horrocks/

And if you're ready to look at this pattern inside your own relationship specifically, doors to Cherished are open now. Twelve weeks to feel more supported, more seen, and more like yourself again. - https://www.khorrocks.com/cherished

If you're an ambitious woman carrying a huge amount of your life yourself, and lately you've been feeling more like the manager of your relationship than his lover, this episode is your 12 week roadmap.

In this episode:

The 3 patterns keeping capable, high achieving women stuck: the mental load that never switches off, the rage you didn't know you were carrying, and the slow fade from lover to roommate.

Why the relationship you have with yourself changes everything else.

The 3 Cherished Woman Codes I teach inside Cherished: Self-Devotion, Heart-Led Communication and Magnetic Intimacy.

Doors are open for Cherished's second cohort. I share the key dates, what's included, and how to join.

Ready to join Cherished?

Doors close Friday 25th September.

Cherished begins Monday 28th September.

Link to join and see everything included - https://www.khorrocks.com/cherished

Want to talk it through first? DM me the word CALL on Instagram to book a free Cherished Clarity Call. - https://www.instagram.com/kat_horrocks/

Free Workshop Signup Here > https://www.khorrocks.com/workshop

You know the caveat by heart. "My partner's amazing, he does so much, he never says no when I ask." And yet I still feel like the manager of my household, still feel more like his mum than his lover, still feel like nothing gets done unless I remind him.

In this episode, I'm unpacking roommate energy, one of the quietest, most common relationship killers, and why it has nothing to do with how good your partner is.

In this episode, I cover:

• Why "he always says yes when I ask" is masking the real issue, the invisible weight of noticing, delegating, reminding, and following up on everything
• The difference between the practical mental load and the emotional load, and why so many high-achieving, self-aware women (therapy, podcasts, attachment work, the lot) still feel stuck in the same dynamic
• The "awareness trap": why understanding your patterns isn't the same as changing them, and why insight alone hasn't shifted my relationship, or maybe yours
• The uncomfortable truth that frustration isn't only directed at your partner, it's often directed at yourself, for tolerating what you said you wouldn't
• Why intimacy quietly disappears under roommate energy, and what it actually takes to get the spark, the connection, and the "life partners again" feeling back
• Practical permission slips: what it can look like to stop asking permission, let him figure it out, and reclaim your time and energy, starting today
• Why this work always starts with your relationship with yourself first, not with fixing him or the relationship directly

FREE LIVE WORKSHOP THIS THURSDAY!

Resentful to Radiant: How to Go From Feeling Like Roommates to Feeling Like the Hottest Woman in the Room,

Thursday 3rd September, 8PM UK time

I'll be sharing the 3 Cherished Woman Codes I walk every client through to help her put herself first, shift out of roommate energy, deepen connection with her partner, and start feeling cherished again.

Sign up here - https://www.khorrocks.com/workshop

Register for the workshop - https://www.khorrocks.com/workshop

Say "decentring men" and most people picture single women, healing, done with dating. But what happens when you're married? When you're in it, and you love him, and he's a genuinely good one?

This week I'm making the case that decentring men matters more once you're partnered - not less. Because the sneaky version isn't the dramatic breakup. It's the quiet, years-long slide into building a whole life around him without ever noticing you did it.

I'm talking through why this hits hardest for women carrying shared responsibility - the joint mortgage, the joint calendar, the "who's picking up the kids" of it all - and the exact ways it shows up: the permission-asking, the disappearing hobbies, the vision board you stopped updating for yourself.

I'll walk you through what I actually do in my own relationship, what I've watched clients do, and I've got some reflection prompts for you at the end if you want to sit with this properly.

Fair warning - if you've been playing the cool, low-maintenance girlfriend, or the devoted wife who puts everyone else first, this one might sting a bit. That's alright. Stay with it.

Mentioned in this episode:

My free live workshop, Resentful to Radiant - for women ready to stop feeling like his roommate and start feeling like the hottest woman in the room again.

Thursday 3rd September, 8pm UK time, live on Zoom.

👉 Register here - https://www.khorrocks.com/workshop

If you sign up after listening, drop me a DM on Instagram [https://www.instagram.com/kat_horrocks/] and say hi - I want to know you're coming!