We collab with our dear, darling friend Marine from A Privileged Vegan and The Vegan Vanguard podcast about our hair journeys; an episode years in the making!

Poppin Off

This week we go off about the ableist, classist and individualistic responses to the tragic passing of Chadwick Boseman, as well as discussing the body policing he experienced while he was still alive.

Joke

What kind of bird never needs a haircut? (Thanks, Tara!)

Main Topic: Talking short hair, gender and The Patriarchy with Marine!

This week we do a long anticipated collaboration with our dear friend Marine about our various hair journeys and how we feel our hair reflects (or doesn’t) our gender. We pull some great quotes and history facts from the resources linked below, and then dive into our very different experiences. Nichole has found freedom and gender euphoria through her buzzed head; Marine was challenged by the endless policing around her look and ended up not enjoying having short hair as much as she hoped, which created a lot of feminist conflict for her; and Callie speaks on her experience as someone who grew up in a larger body and therefore felt a lot of pressure to have long, feminine hair and obey “fashion rules” about what cut looks good on what face.

Resources

* Laurie Penny on hair: Why patriarchy fears the scissors – for women, short hair is a political statement (New Statesman)* FASHION HISTORY LESSON: THE BOB HAIRCUT, FEMINISM’S ULTIMATE STYLE STATEMENT (Fashionista)* Now You Know: How Did Long Hair Become a Thing for Women? (Time)

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Transcript

Nichole [00:00:27] Hi, everybody.

Marine [00:00:29] Hello.

Nichole [00:00:31] Couple minutes behind today, but we’re here. We’re good. We’re queer.

Marine [00:00:38] Did we mention that?

Nichole [00:00:39] And we’re going to talk about hair.

Callie [00:00:41] Yeah, I was just going to be like, what episode is this again? I could do another comphet, that shit was fun.

Nichole [00:00:48] It was fun. Could talk about that all day. I bring it up all the time.

Callie [00:00:54] Same.

Nichole [00:00:54] I’m like comphet… It’s a plague on our people. So welcome to the Bitchy Shitshow podcast. I am Nichole.

Callie [00:01:12] I am Callie.

Marine [00:01:13] I’m Marine.

Nichole [00:01:15] And today we’re bitching about…

Dexter represents white male exceptionalism to the extreme, and while this leads to poorly written female characters and nonsensical plot-lines structured only to preserve Dexter’s freedom and clean reputation; there is an aspect of the show that Nichole only noticed through re-watching – that it is an amazing representation of life on the spectrum – which makes the show both trash and treasure.

Poppin Off

Callie pops off about prison labor being used to fight fires in California while being paid slave wages and being barred from becoming firefighters or any other type of emergency responder after release. Nichole pops off about the economy in World of Warcraft and how it proves that capitalism doesn’t work, even in virtual environments.

Resources

* @WaywardWinifred tweet about wildfires & prison labor* @soyouwanttotalkabout Instagram post about inmate firefighters in California

Joke

A racist, a homophobe, a transphobe and an anti-semite walk into a bar…. (from @burgundybitch72 on Twitter)

Why do pirates love nipple rings? (from TikTok)

Main Topic: Dexter – White Male Exceptionalism, Autism, Child Abuse

Callie FINALLY (lol) watched Dexter, Showtimes’ 2006-2013 hit series about a serial killer who works for Miami PD as a blood-splatter analyst and only kills other bad guys. Nichole decided to rewatch it so she could join in on the fun, and soon the two found themselves spending many hours sending video messages back and forth about the show and decided, as we often do, to put a mic in front of our faces and turn our lives into CONTENT FOR THE INTERWEBS.

In watching/rewatching, many interesting themes came up for us. Callie garnered a pure hatred of this show for its blatant misogyny and racism, calling it, and I quote, “pure trash.” She also noticed many instances of bad consent, and that many things in the show would have been more compelling if Dexter had been written as, say, asexual and had communicated that to his partners.

Nichole found a new appreciation for the show (while also making copious notes on the misogyny and racism) as the best representation she has ever seen of the autistic experience. It also teased (but did not deliver on) other interesting themes, particularly child abuse and what happens to people with personality disorders when we as a society and/or their parents decide that they are lost causes.

We dissect (hehe, get it!?) all of this throughout this episode, going deep on the ways the show ultimately failed to deliver on anything except white male exceptionalism.

Resources

* Dexter’s Disastrous Ending, Explained | The Take (YouTube)* Dexter Series Finale review | Jeremey Jahns (YouTube)

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We’ve got one of our favorite comrades, Pearson Bolt from the Coffee with Comrades podcast, with us today to talk about security culture. But first, we end up doing a massive ranty Pop Top about Kamala Harris’s win as Biden’s VP pick. Pearson ranted so fervently that Nichole dubbed him an honorary third bitch!

Poppin Off

The three of us GO OFF about Kamala Harris being chosen by Biden for his VP. Nichole pulled some clips of Harris’ past speeches around school, truancy, and crime to highlight how heinous she is and how she is a cop at heart and the literal worst pick for a time that is brimming with anti-cop sentiment.

Resources

* TikTok about superheroes, politicians & fascism* Attorney General Kamala Harris: Innovation & Evolution in our Criminal Justice System (YouTube)* Kamala Harris (1/14/10)* Unpacking Kamala Harris’s Record on Trans and Sex Work Issues (Them)

Joke

What do you call a zombie movie set during the French Revolution? (Thanks for the original joke submitted by comedian Mario Marrufo from the Brocial Cuckstice Warriors podcast on Anchor and Spotify | YouTube channel)

Main Topic: Security Culture / Operational Security with Pearson!

Pearson (he/they) has taught operational security many, many times so he joins us today to do a little security culture and OPSEC 101 with our audience. He covers tips for digital security in your everyday life, particularly if you are organizing online, and then we also go over tips for how to protect yourself in the streets.

Pearson recently did a similar episode on their podcast, Coffee with Comrades (link below), which we also highly recommend! The CrimethInc link below also has great information in writing in one place as an additional reference.

Security culture: a security culture is a set of customs shared by a community whose members may be targeted by the government, designed to minimize risk.

Resources

* Episode 92: “Practice Safe Sec” (Coffee with Comrades)* CrimethInc definition of security culture (Crimethinc.com)* Jail And Court Support (Rebel Steps Podcast)

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Transcript

028 Let’s Talk About Sec, Baby!.mp3Nichole [00:00:26] Hi, everyone. I’m Nichole.

In our continued efforts to get formally diagnosed and seek professional support and services as neurodivergents, we have a LOT of rage about the entire system, particularly how so many medical professionals seem adverse to diagnosis as they don’t want to “label” you or “put you in a box,” even if that’s what YOU want.

Pop Tops

We talk about “fork theory,” a new theory by TikTok-er @catiosaurus) that Callie discovered which is specifically for neurodivergent folks.

Fork Theory (TikTok)

Joke

“I made a hiking playlist with The Cranberries, The Peanuts, and Eminem…” (thanks, sister!)

Main Topic: When Medical Professionals Are Too Lax About Diagnoses

This is a loose, free-form rant about our rage over not being diagnosed because we’ve had medical professionals and healthcare workers who thought “labeling” ourselves was a bad thing and therefore thought our attempts to find a name for our struggles and experiences was a thing to be discouraged. Now, we’re both facing nearly insurmountable barriers to diagnosis and treatment.

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Transcript

027 Diagnosis and labels.mp3Nichole [00:00:27] Hi, everyone. Welcome to Bitchy Shit Show, the podcast. This is Episode 27 in this new adventure we’re on together in the Year of our Lord, 2020. I’m Nichole.

Callie [00:00:43] And I’m Callie.

Nichole [00:00:45] And today we’ll be talking about…

Callie [00:00:55] Today, we are doing a, hopefully cathartic rant about the process to get a diagnosis and why all of this talk over why people have to get a diagnosis is like really fucking ablest and shitty.

Nichole [00:01:15] Yep. And we’re going to connect what we see as a trend with medical professionals who are like, “Who needs a diagnosis? Like why label things, babe?” as fucking infuriating on many levels. So it’s going to be a free form rantisode for all of you, which I know is always a crowd favorite. But first, before we get into that, Callie was going to pop her top, her lovely pink top over a Dr. Drew reaction to a Tik-Tok.

Callie [00:01:51] Yeah. Although, so I was trying to -.

Nichole [00:01:54] Look at how cool your mom’s are by the way. We’re talking about Tik-Tok, we’re so with it.

Callie [00:02:00] Yeah,

This week we go on a loose exploration of body image and gender expression in a time of isolation. We solicited stories from all of you on social media and got a ton of really vulnerable, beautiful responses. As we get further from the “normalcy” of capitalism, we wonder if we will experience permanent changes to how we look at clothes, makeup, hair, comfort, autonomy, and so much more.

Joke: why are frogs always so happy?

Also, fun announcement: Nichole finally got around to updating and finalizing our Patreon tiers so that we are officially NOT offering anything extra, content-wise. We will likely have merch someday when we’re bigger, but we don’t ever want to put content behind a paywall and, frankly, we can’t possibly make additional content right now anyway! In place of free content, she gives you funny, tongue-in-cheek tier descriptions and associated gifs. She’s very proud of herself, this is the epitome of callbacks, deep cuts, and inside jokes. Check it out here: Patreon!

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TRANSCRIPT

026 Body Liberation in Quarantine.mp3Nichole [00:00:27] So hi, everyone. I am Nichole.

Callie [00:00:30] And I’m Callie.

Nichole [00:00:31] And today we’re talking about…

Callie [00:00:33] Body image and body feelings in quarantining.

Nichole [00:00:38] Yeah.

Callie [00:00:39] In quarantine? In quarantine.

Nichole [00:00:41] Yeah. All of those. In lockdown. During a pandemic.

Callie [00:00:47] Except for the one that’s not actually a word.

Nichole [00:00:51] In isolation. Yeah, but first we were going to just do a quick little, I don’t know if it’s like a pop-top exactly, but we’re just going to touch on some current events. Callie, take it away.

Callie [00:01:10] Yeah, yeah. So we just wanted to do a quick little pop off and rage and just document this for posterity, cause, you know, our show’s totes important. But as of this weekend, if you’re watching with us live, you know, it is Sunday, August 2nd, and as of yesterday, the increase in unemployment benefits, the six hundred dollars a week ended with Congress failing to pass an extended stimulus package. In fact, they’re all now on fucking vacation. And a lot of the moratoriums on eviction have also expired. I couldn’t think of the right word. But so now we have, I think the latest estimates are like 40 plus million people that have lost their jobs in this post-COVID economy and 20 plus million people, and I think that was even like a week or two ago so it could potentially be much higher than that, like, cannot pay their rent and are on the verge of being evicted. Their landlords have just been literally having to wait because they were not allowed to throw them out of their homes, which is, I shouldn’t need to tell you,

Poppin Off

Today Nichole pops off about official autism diagnoses and how inaccessible they are, creating barriers for those on the spectrum to get access to services they need.

Joke

Why do anarchists only drink herbal tea? Plus another bonus joke!

Main Topic: Queerness and Anarchy For All!

Inspired by the book Queering Anarchism, we talk about the concept of queer anarchism and how we can queer our anarchy and anarchize our queerness, focusing specifically on how these two practices are available to EVERYONE no matter how you identify or what your political ideology is.

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Transcript

Nichole [00:00:26] So hello internet. I’m Nichole.

Callie [00:00:29] And I’m Callie.

Nichole [00:00:30] And today we’ll be talking about…

Callie [00:00:33] Queer anarchism!

Nichole [00:00:35] We’re so excited. Highly anticipated.

Callie [00:00:39] So excited.

Nichole [00:00:40] We’re not as ready as we want to be but like, fuck it right?

Callie [00:00:45] Mm hmm, Yep.

Nichole [00:00:47] First, however, we’re going to talk about, well, I’m going to talk about a little autism update, if you will. So in the last week, ever since we had our neurodivergent coming-out episode, we have, well I’ve looked into really what it takes to get diagnosed. I was able to get in touch with a professional and talk to her about what a formal diagnosis would require. And I now more fully understand why people encourage others to diagnose themselves if they can’t get diagnosed professionally because it is really difficult. There’s a pretty high barrier to diagnosis. So just for everyone else who’s interested in this, this might be some useful information for you.

Nichole [00:01:42] So for, first of all, for me to get an informal diagnosis, she was saying her discounted rate was one hundred an hour and it would take two to three sessions for us to go through the questions that she had and just to do the evaluation to get like, basically a, you know, you can feel good that you sort of have a diagnosis now, but it won’t get you access to anything, a diagnosis. So it’s gonna be probably like three hundred dollars for that because I don’t have insurance. And then to get a formal diagnosis, you actually have to go to a center. It’s far more expensive. She didn’t say exactly how much, but I’m guessing like six to twelve hundred dollars, somewhere in there. It can take months, there’s questions that you have to answer, like tons of questions that you have to answer and they do a really strong evaluation on your development as a child.

Nichole [00:02:43] So they highly recommend that you bring a parent or h...

We’ve had big revelations in the last few weeks and we’re ready to talk about discovering that we’re on the spectrum (Nichole) and have ADHD (Callie) We learned that these are both WAY under-diagnosed in people assigned female at birth because the science was based on the male brain. We have a lot to say about all this, and we hope it might help others realize things about themselves or their loved ones!

Resources

* Autism vs ADHD (The Difference between ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorder) | Asperbergers from the Inside (YouTube)* Why Is It So Hard to Do Something That Should Be Easy? | How to ADHD (YouTube)* ADHD in Girls: How to Recognize the Symptoms | How to ADHD (YouTube)* 7 Signs of Autism in Men (DSM-5 Symptoms of Autism/Aspergers in High Functioning Autistic Adults) | Asperbergers from the Inside (YouTube)* Autism symptoms in GIRLS | Yo Samdy Sam (YouTube)* Autism: It’s Different in Girls. | Scientific American * Why is ADHD Missed in Girls? | BBC

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Transcript

Nichole [00:00:27] Hey, everyone, I’m autistic.

Callie [00:00:33] And I’m ADHD.

Nichole [00:00:38] Callie and I are just perpetually coming out. So here we are yet again, new identities discovered here to represent neurodiversity.

Callie [00:00:49] Yeah. And coming to it later in life, that’s going to be a big part of our discussion today. And just the kind of fuckery that happens when you don’t get told by any experts.

Nichole [00:01:02] Yeah. And you get to just think that you’re a fucking loser your whole life and things are just hard for you for no reason. And you just need to try harder and then you’ll be better.

Callie [00:01:13] Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Nichole [00:01:17] Were you recording? Because I wasn’t.

Callie [00:01:22] No.

Nichole [00:01:25] OK. Let’s maybe do that.

We dig deep into the dazzling queer wonderland that is She-Ra and the Princesses of Power, raving about all the things we love about it and ranting about Catradora and what we see as the romanticization of a deeply abusive relationship. HOT TAKE, we know.

Joke

What do you call people who get turned on by eating all the things? (a Nicky original!)

Analyzing Catradora: Kylo Ren in a Cat Suit

While we LOVED She-Ra overall, we both had enormous concerns with Catra and Adora’s relationship. We spend the first half raving about everything we love in this magical show, including the strong restorative justice vibes, the queerness, the friendships, the costume designs and diversity of body shapes, Swift Wind and SHANTIES!

Then we get serious about the disturbing relationship between Catra and Adora, tracking the abusive behavior and the way that the story did not allow for a proper redemption arc to justify them becoming a couple.

Literally the entire rest of the internet disagrees with us, everyone else think Catradora is great and that Catra was completely redeemed by the end, so here are some folks that take the opposing view from us, if you want to explore that as well:

* “She-Ra’s” Nuanced Take on Abuse and Trauma Is Its Real Power | Bitch Media* She-Ra Season 5 Watered My Crops & (Almost) Cured My Depression | MelinaPendulum* The Brilliance Of She-Ra’s Final Season | Riley J Dennis* Why Catradora Works (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power) | The Roundtable

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Transcript

Nichole [00:00:27] Hi, everyone. Welcome to the Bitchy Shitshow, home of the bitchiest bitches and the shittiest of shit shows.

Callie [00:00:39] Wow, big, big claim there.

Nichole [00:00:42] I know. I might be overselling it, but we’ll see.

Callie [00:00:47] You called us the bitchiest bitches and then I start giggling. Like I just… People are going to be like OK…

Nichole [00:00:52] Yeah, I know. I’m Nichole.

Callie [00:01:01] And I’m Callie.

Nichole [00:01:02] And today we’re talking about…

Callie [00:01:04] She-Ra Princesses of Power.

Nichole [00:01:06] She-Raaaaa!

Listen. We are really burnt out this week, we both had difficult weekends that culminated in us getting inexplicably deactivated on YouTube and then just as mysteriously unsuspended, so we hit the whiskey today to talk freely about everything from She-Ra (spoiler-free!) to our views on the current fall of capitalism and our dreams to join a supportive community somewhere. An unfocused, fun, rowdy conversation.

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Transcript

Nichole [00:00:26] Hi, everyone. I’m Nichole.

Callie [00:00:29] And I’m Callie.

Nichole [00:00:30] And today we’ll be bitching about…

Callie [00:00:33] No idea yet. Everything?

Nichole [00:00:40] Yeah. So we kind of needed a break today, we’ll be real with everyone, and so we’re basically just going to bitch about a bunch of random shit. And we’re probably going to talk about She-Ra.

Callie [00:00:50] Mm hmm. Mm hmm.

Nichole [00:00:52] And maybe also talk about the current dismantling of the myth of the American Dream that we see happening and what we see, possibly little seedlings of hope, of how people seem to be creating something new in its place. But that sounds way out of character for how grumpy I am and for the fact that I have whiskey and an empty stomach so we’ll see how it goes. We’ll see how it goes.

Callie [00:01:22] Yeah.

Nichole [00:01:22] So this is gonna be an episode for BSS lovers who actually like when we just go off on tangents and are unstructured and messy.

Callie [00:01:34] Yeah, if this is your first episode please skip it and go listen to something else.

Nichole [00:01:43] Yeah, don’t judge us by this.

Callie [00:01:45] Yeah.

Nichole [00:01:45] Unless you love it in which case this is very on brand.

Callie [00:01:49] Oh my god, Mohera says, “The Random Shit Bitchy Shitshow,” y’all are the best at coming up with these!

Nichole [00:01:57] No, Mohera already had another amazing tagline for us today.

Callie [00:02:00] Today?! What was it?

Nichole [00:02:01] Yes girl, today! Up thread. She was like a podcast for when, you know how my memory is, it was like a podcast for when you need whiskey because it’s one of those days. And I was like, girl!

Callie [00:02:14] Oh, I feel that in my soul. Oh my god. Kate, “BSS STANS ARE HERE FOR THE MESSINESS IN ALL ITS GLORY,” in all caps.

Nichole [00:02:28] We appreciate you.

Callie [00:02:30] I love it. I didn’t get to comment on this earlier, but Megan called me glorious and thank you.

Nichole [00:02:38] I saw that, that was lovely.

Callie [00:02:40] I live by that.

For our gayest episode yet, we are so thrilled to be joined by Marine from The Vegan Vanguard podcast to talk about compulsory heterosexuality and how it impacted our individual queer (and in Nichole’s case, gender) journeys. We had a lot of laughs, a lot of deep moments, and some delightfully TMI conversations along the way!

Poppin Off

We take just a brief moment to acknowledge the current “win” for the queer community with the recent Supreme Court ruling that the Civil Rights Act covers the LGBTQ community in terms of employment. A poignant post from the Instagram account @Chikalogy pointed out that the online celebrations from the white LGBTQs was missing how painful it is for queer BIPOC folks that their murders at the hands of the state are still legal and happening nearly everyday. Job protection is great but it matters little when your life is perpetually in danger.

Resources

* Landmark civil rights law extends to LGBTQ employees, Supreme Court rules | June 15, 2020 (LA Times)* Chikalogy’s Instragram Post

Joke

What will the first gay Transformer be?

Main Topic: Examining Compulsory Heterosexuality and Our Queer Journeys

We had a BLAST celebrating Pride month with this topic. We start off with the lovely Marine from The Vegan Vanguard podcast defining compulsory heterosexuality and talking about how it appears in our daily lives, impacting our own awareness of our sexuality. Then we all talk about our own experiences with discovering and defining our queerness. Callie says the “p” word, Nichole shaved her head, and Marine confesses to past loves. It’s great.

Resources

* Shame | ContraPoints (YouTube)* gal pals and compulsory heterosexuality by Sophie Jerrome (YouTube)* What Is Compulsory Heterosexuality? // Comp Het Explained by Tallulah Guard (YouTube)* Compulsive Heteronoronmativity  by Hannah Witton (YouTube)* No More Secrets, No More Lies African American History and Compulsory Heterosexuality by Mattie Udora Richardson (Journal of Women’s History)* Queering Anarchism by Various Authors (AK Press)

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Transcript

Nichole [00:00:27] Hey everyone. I’m Nichole.

Callie [00:00:29] And I’m Callie.