Quarantining With The Chrises

The Chrises get stranded on a desert island and divulge their latest journals entries. After seventeen weeks together, The Chrises learn that bandana face coverings are as useful as the $0.00 in unemployment money they have yet to receive. Despite Chris & Chris being monetary zeros, they dream of a future where they get everything they wanted. Christopher Michaels plans for the day when he can bring home his puppy, Goldfish, and Christopher Joseph fantasizes about the day when he can animorph into a dolphin. Whether books are written or statues are erected, The Chrises confide how awkward their likenesses would be etched in stone, forever. ~ QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

The Chrises slide into the week with JamesG, the Heelys Half Marathon Champion who raised over a G for Black Lives Matter. Spotify’s most notorious unsigned rap artist and TikTok 1M Club glider dishes on wheeling and dealing on America’s Got Talent and creating his own viral gifs. James challenges the Chrises to keep their toes up, but they perform as unsatisfactory as single ply toilet paper. ~ QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

The Chrises touch down with the man who threw the first qwitches long ball, Justin “Badger” Wozney. Reunited with the grand daddy himself, The Chrises pop champagne to celebrate the century episode. The w0z is joined with former roommate and college partying teammate, Akil “Ricky” Ross. After reconnecting ten years later, the two boss dogs rekindle a love that soured over a lost accounting book and a chance to hold Ronaldinho’s hand at the World Cup.~ QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

The Chrises experience immense magic with the guru of oxygenated miracles, Andrew Genovese. Moinu G peels the onion back on his own personal journey facing trauma and using breath work as a way to heal. On his mission to raise the collective consciousness, he enlightens the universe on his recent three month trip to India; where he lived in trees and studied under Guru G, a man who dwelled in caves for over a decade. Andrew opens up about being immersed in thousands of years of Indian knowledge and traditions with two spiritually powerful beings - Guru G and his 99-year-old-mother, Dr. Amla. After 99 episodes, The Chrises find out who they are? ~ QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

The Chrises are finally graced with the presence of the MVP of Cali Daze, Ben Kelley. Distraught over losing his workout bro and the gym closing, Ben picks up macro counting and band workouts. The only bear in the Bills Mafia dishes on how Buffalo did Shady dirty in the name of The Game. When he is not rumbling with Jason and Justin, he is starring in “No More Tomorrows”. ~ QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

The Chrises sit down with the man behind the best moves on inline skates, Pete Malleo. The TikTok legend dishes on the fast food chain with the best chocolate chip cookies and the side effects of Corona. Having retired from their beer chugging days, the minutemen shotgun LaCroix and get indigestion. The family guy trucker opens up about his hopes and dreams for his son: Be good and Don’t kill anyone. ~ QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

The Chrises burn themselves fireside with the Queen of Soy Candles and the King of the Sky. Karen discloses her love of everything earthy; starting from her times escaping bees on the tire playground. While Joe dishes his adoration for all things airy; beginning with his stargazing days as a young boy with impeccable sonar capabilities. After crying about being left out last time, Joe joins in for a round of “Cool Cats and Ass Hats in which wet willies are administered, thumbs are sucked, and animal sounds are recreated. ~ QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

The Chrises clean up with professional dishwasher and Okizu senior camp counselor, Chaos. Keely shares her personal experiences connecting with other siblings affected by childhood cancer, and all the amazing adventures at her favorite summertime place. This year Okizu will be keeping it fun virtually and including some camp favorites: Baseball Lunch, campfire stories, and skits. Ice cream is not not ruled off the table. The Chrises throw their hat in the ring to become volunteers and call upon others to join them! ~ QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

The Chrises roll their R’s for the matrimony ceremony between the yin yang sisters, Ali Baldassare-Greene and Trish DaCosta. Ali talks about the doggie lifestyle with her two little ones, while Trish bares it all (about pup mom life). Getting ready for rebuild season, Ali shares what it’s like being the queen of reach around. Trish goes in on the importance of getting extra doses of D in her life. The Chrises get schooled on how to to transform their dysfunctional cohabitation with a functional focused pilates course. ~ QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)

The Chrises go 007 while learning a thing or two with Los Angeles’ Teacher Of The Year and modern day Socrates. The man behind savage optimism enlightens the world about the current state of education and how to compare history. The potential 008 shakes The Chrises with the knowledge about Roman genealogy and how to differentiate with a 23 and Me analysis. ~ QWTChrises.com ~ Patreon.com/QWTChrises ~ GoFundMe w/ Okizu “No Hair For Care” (gofundme.com/f/no-hair-for-care)