john

Hello once again, I hope you're wearing some sort of smoking jacket, you've got your ascot on, ocelot in your lap or draped lovingly around your neck. Let us all place a cigarette in a cigarette holder, take a sip of a cavassier or port and get ready to sit in a room that I assume smells, but looks very nice in photographs. Because once again, it is time for Questions with John Hastings. I'm of course, Questions.

Let's head on over to producer Paul and find out.

What our question is, something dropped, but it does not affect us.

Producer Paul (00:48.664)

Hi John. I heard that too. Might have been at my end.

john (00:49.578)

A PIPO! It was a laptop charging cable. But you know what's weird about charging cables for laptops? They always have one section that's unnecessarily large. This is the Apple version. PCs always have that large black block. I don't know what that is besides just making sure that charging is a bit of a pain in the bollock.

Producer Paul (00:55.17)

Oh.

Producer Paul (01:10.944)

Today's question John, what would be the worst possible song to play at a wedding?

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john

Once again, we set sail on the oceans of improvisation and we speak slowly so we sound smart. I'm of course, John Hastings. And today we will be answering a question and that question will be read to us by producer Paul, producer Paul. Hello.

Producer Paul

Hi John. Today's question, John, is what's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done in public?

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We will never know. Well, you will know. You need to know one thing. This batch of questions with John Hastings is coming to a close. We've enjoyed pumping out this content daily for you. We're gonna take a quick break and then we will be back with a bunch more content. This is how this podcast is gonna work. It's not going to be weekly. It's gonna come out in daily batches for a period of time. Then stop for a bit and then start again. And we're doing that because it is the...

most difficult way to be successful, and we choose difficulty. Me and Paul, we're not like you. We're not weak, we're strong. We bought a bunch of courses from something called Hustlers University, and they seem legitimate. You know what I'm saying? This gentleman wears a tiger print, and he has a bunch of cars, and he lives in Romania. And you know what I always say, if you wanna go not sketchy, always go Eastern Europe. And now let us go.

on over to the question hutch where Paul lives. Paul? Hi Paul.

Producer Paul

Hi John. Today's question John is, what is the funniest word in the English language and why?

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Hello. Once again, we ask.

Do you have anything to say? And if you're looking in a mirror and you're me, the answer is yes. Welcome once again to Questions with John Hastings. I am of course John Hastings. And today's question, not brought to you by the fine people who have emailed in at johnhastingspodcast.gmail.com but have instead brought to us by producer Paul. Producer Paul, let's go for that.

Producer Paul

Hi John. John, how do you feel about pineapple on pizza?

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Welcome once again to questions with John Hastings. I am of course, John Hastings. If you'd like to send us a question, johnhastingspodcast.gmail.com. These are batch recorded, so we won't get to them in this round, but we will get to them in another round. For this round of questions, let's head on over to producer Paul, producer Paul.

Producer Paul

Hi John. John, if you were a superhero, what would your superpower be? And what would your catchphrase be?

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Welcome once again, your radios, your phones are set here to the tranquil seas of monologue. I am John Hastings. Let us question producer Paul. What is our question for today? If you'd like to send us a question, by the way John Hastings podcast at gmail.com. Hi Paul.

Producer Paul

Hi John. It's another animal one today. How many chickens, how many chickens would it take to defeat a T-Rex in a fight?

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You will know. You will know the answer to your question. If you send me a question, John Hastings podcast at gmail.com. But until we get to that, let's get to this. Producer Paul, what is our question for today? Hi, Paul.

Producer Paul

Hi John. Today's question. If animals could talk, which animal do you think would be the rudest?

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Just having a thought. What do you do with liquid that's in your mouth you don't want to swallow?

Yeah, I've had some pot. And now I'm gonna have some questions. Paul, what are our questions for today? Here on Questions with John Haystrings, a new intro. Hi Paul, I just mispronounced my last name. I call myself John Haystrings.

Producer Paul

Well, hi John. Today's question... That's fair enough, that's understandable.

john

Is it fair enough? This is the one problem with British people. That phrase, fair enough, it excuses a lot of bad behavior.

Producer Paul

Yeah, it's early where you are and you've smacked something. So it's fair enough. Today's question, what's the most useless talent you possess?

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Once again, you join us to sail the deep seas of conversation. Well, not conversation has so much monologues, monologues inspired by questions, questions you provide by emailing them to us at johnhastingspodcast.gmail.com. But we don't have a question from you, or maybe we do, either way. Let's turn it over to producer Paul, who has our first and only question for this episode. There's only one question per episode. Hi, Paul.

Producer Paul

Hi John, it does have two prongs there. If you could invent a holiday, what would it be called and how would people celebrate it?

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Welcome once again to questions with John Hastings. I just mispronounced my own first name, John. I went, John. Widerly thinking of a gas station, I frequented a lot towards the end of my marriage. What are you thinking about? Email me, johnhastingspodcast.gmail.com. Let me know what you're thinking about. Ask me a question. But we're not gonna get a question from you. We're gonna get a question from producer Paul. Producer Paul, what is our question for today? Hi.

Producer Paul

Hi John, well today's question is, what do you think would happen if pigs really could fly?

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