How do I get rid of my lazy habits whenit comes to work/studying?

MattSandrini, busy to productive ⏱ timezillionaire.com

WrittenOct 28

A friend of mine wanted to losesome weight.
He tried everything. He spent a whole day eating fish soup only.
Then he spent another day fasting. Then he started to skip breakfast. Then, foran afternoon he had fruit only. Then only rice, for 12 hours.
But nothing would work. Big belly, small arms.

“Why do you want to be skinnier?”I asked.

“I don’t really know, it’s justbetter” he replied.

And then he only had salad for aday. And then a Chinese takeaway.

He didn’t know what he wanted, heonly knew what he didn’t really want.

I like this quote from LewisCarroll.

One day Alice came to a fork inthe road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
“Which road do I take?” sheasked.
“Where do you want to go?” washis response.
“I don’t know.” Aliceanswered.
“Then,” said the cat, “it doesn’t matter.”

Hard work is just a tool. Butwhere do you actually want to go?

Work on the right thing, and hardwork will come as a consequence, not a cause.

Good luck!

– Matt

What's the best mistake you've evermade?

LukeCrawford

UpdatedSun

I sent a job application to thewrong email address. It was 1997, I was a kid working tech support at a localISP called jps.net. I knew C and had taught myself Perl during downtime.I was applying for a Programmer I position at the university where my dadworked. I sent my resume along with a really long university application.Instead of sending the packet to [email protected], I sent it to [email protected]—it had been a long day doing techsupport.

A few days later, the head of the NOC called me into his office.Before I really had time to be nervous, he started interviewing me. He gave mea page of a C program and asked me what it did. I didn't really get it atfirst, so I went through line by line explaining it. I recognised the port forPOP3 and gethostbyaddr() andthe guy seemed to be getting more and more excited.

In one of the funnier cases of title inflation, they called me“staff programmer”. That's one rank up from senior programmer. I was 17. (Theypaid me Programmer I wages, though.)

Why did the British return Hong Kongto China?

https://www.quora.com/Why-did-the-British-return-Hong-Kong-to-China

Are there ways to tell if someone ismanipulative right away?

CraigWeiler, I have experience with other human beings

WrittenOct 17

Yes. It doesn’t take long. Thekey is to pay attention to howmuch they pay attention to you. Manipulativepeople all have one thing in common: low empathy.

If I suspect someone of beingmanipulative/narcissitic/overly self centered (they’re all the same thing) Ihave this simple test:

I deliberately turn theconversation to myself and talk about myself, then I closely monitor how longI’m allowed to do this and whether the other person is paying attention. Thefaster I get shut down, the more manipulative the other person is. if theydon’t let you go 15 seconds talking about yourself, you have a problem.

This is a kind of screening process on both sides. If you alwayslet a manipulative person talk about themselves and their needs they willeventually start taking advantage of you.

What is the most evil thing youever said?

Joyce Frankel

Written Oct 25

In the middle of what anincredibly long, very nasty divorce, I told my now ex that I hope he found thewife he truly deserves, and that they have a very long life together.

He remarried a couple of yearslater. When spending time with them, our children would come back home andcomplain. They said she would lecture their friends when the friends called onwhat she considered proper etiquette on the phone. She would get very upset andcry often, and wanted to argue with their father non-stop. I would simply nodmy head. (I do not ask questions about him, I do not bash him to our children,but I do not wish to dwell on him)

It appears their marriage is abit different, I prefer not to know, the marriage is a part of my past now, andI don’t dwell on it much.

About 5 years ago, my youngestdaughter was complaining, and I nodded. She got very upset with me and wantedto know why I never said anything. She looked at me and said, “You know youcould end that mess of a marriage if you wanted to.” I agreed that I likelycould. She asked why I didn’t.

I told her that the only thing Ihad said to her father in the 3 year battle to get the divorce was that I hopedhe had a very long life with the wife he truly deserved. I looked at mydaughter, smiled slightly and said, “it sounds like he has that, and his lifehas not been nearly long enough.”

Mydaughter was 16 then. She looked at me and said it sounded like such a nicething to say, but it was just evil. I nodded my head.

I'm about to go to prison, maybefor a long time. My mom & dad are old. What should I do?

https://www.quora.com/Im-about-to-go-to-prison-maybe-for-a-long-time-My-mom-dad-are-old-What-should-I-do

What is it like to interview avery smart person?

Shane Greenstein, Stillcurious after all these years.

Written Nov 3, 2015

Seen many smart people over theyears, and I usually define that as someone whose synapses seem to be firingmuch more frequently than everybody else's. A few things about a smart personusually stands out:

·       A very smart person expressestheir ideas with remarkable clarity, and it appears to be effortless.

·       A very smart person can go fromten thousand feet to the ground and back. They can focus on a detail at onemoment, and place it in an appropriate broad category in another, and then goback to detail or a bigger idea, or wherever the conversation takes them.

·       A smart person speaks ingrammatically correct sentences.

·       The person's speech does notcontain verbal ticks, such as "you know" or "like" or"know what I mean?" and that person avoids lazy phrases, such as"etc." or "and so on."

·       When confronted with a newsituation they ask questions that efficiently get to the heart of theunaddressed issues.

·       It is not uncommon for a verysmart person to see deeply into a problem, and say things that indicate suchdepth, even when they are not widely understood, and their insight only becomesapparent long after the fact.

·       Smart people are a constantsource of surprises -- in their ideas, in their word play, in their questions,or in some other way. Whatever fuels their smarts cannot be corralled, andleads to unpredictable moments (at least to mere mortals).

·       There is always something about asmart person that you cannot quite put your finger on. It is just out of reach,and it makes them inscrutable.

·       Finally, this needs to be said:Smart has little to do with self-awareness or character. Some smart people arehumble, polite, and empathetic, and others are arrogant, impertinent, anddomineering. Some feel no need to show off, while others are so infantile theymake sure everyone in the rooms knows how smart they are. Smart is about howfast the brain works, not about the wisdom of the efforts to which those brainthoughts are put to use.

My 13-year-old daughter told methat I should put my kids before anything. Is she being selfish, or am I theselfish one?

Brittany Bown, Hello, Iam human

Written Oct 23

Let my life be a warning for you.

When I was 12, my mom starteddating a man. I remember thinking he was not very nice, but not very terrible,either. She dated him for another year. When I was 13, she asked me a questionthat changed my life forever.

“Would it be okay with you if Imoved to Texas with Joe?”

I was 13, and she was asking herchild if it was okay for her to move thousands of miles away. She was asking asmall human if they were okay with a random man being more important to herthan her own child.

Because I was a naive small humanof 13, all I could think of was wanting my mom to be happy. I didn’t want to beselfish, I didn’t want to make things harder on her, so when she asked me thatquestion, I said “It’s okay. You can go.”

Since then, I’ve felt like I’velost my mother. We haven’t been close. I’m 26 now, and I don’t have arelationship with her at all. There might be a phone call once a month, but wenever talk about anything important. She has no idea who her daughter is, whather daughter likes, what her daughter cares about, because to her, fulfillingher own desires in the moment was more important than building a life with herkid.

I go totherapy because of this. I feel unwanted as an adult. Please, for the love ofgood things in this world, don’t be like this to your kids. Even if you’re notmoving anywhere, your heart can feel a thousand miles away from them, andthey’re still developing. You can cause lifelong damage, so PLEASE be morecareful.