If a cop was walking up to my carwith his gun drawn, would I be justified in defending myself with deadly force?

Frank Fontana, I robbeda bank once.

Updated Oct 30

True Story...I was driving oneday when I started to be tailed by a police car. At a certain point the lightsstarting flashing and I pulled over. It was only then that I realized that Iwas being tailed by 1/2 a dozen cop cars. When I stopped, I had the windows upand the radio on. I heard some voices and realized the cops were yelling at me.By the time I got the window down, they were irrately yelling; “HANDS OUT OFTHE WINDOW.”

One officer approached my car gundrawn, held high and tight to his body. He grabbed my left hand and asked thatI slowly remove the keys from the ignition and hand them to him. After doingso, he asked that I exit the vehicle. At some point I remember looking up andseeing the inside of the barrel of his gun, this I did not like.

Once out of the vehicle, I waswalked to the rear of my car and frisked while two officers had their gunsdrawn and a third had a taser.

They next asked to search my car.

Once they were satisfied that Iwas not a threat they explained to me that a bank was just robbed and my carmatched the description of the getaway car.

Very early on in this ordeal, Ihad two thoughts.

1.      Theyobviously are looking for someone, else. I doubt me speeding would elicit thismuch attention.

2.     Ireasonably believed I could get shot. I had no idea what was on their minds,and while I own and handle guns, I can't stress how much I disliked seeing theinside of that barrel.

My gut feel was to be ascompliant as possible to eliminate giving them a reason to shoot. Wholeincident took 5 minutes and I now have this interesting story to tell.

My condolences to the family ofDeven G…but here is how not to act in such a situation.

How do I become strong mentally?

Charles Chu, Self-improvement(THE PROCESS) is my life.

Updated Wed

I had the same question. Toanswer it, I studied the most mentally tough people on the planet—the NavySEALs.

Here’s what they do:

1.      They eatthe elephant. How do you eat an elephant? One biteat a time. Take insurmountable goals and break them down into smallerobjectives.

2.     They usevisualization. They run vivid scenarios ofthemselves succeeding over and over inside their heads. This maximizes thechance of success when the time comes.

3.     Theypractice emotional control. They use breathingtechniques such as the “4 by 4 for 4” (4 seconds in, 4 seconds out for 4minutes) to keep their stress levels under control.

4.     They useself talk. They reframe external events in a positivelight. They understand that it is not the EVENT but their INTERPRETATION thatmatters.

5.     Theycelebrate small victories. They see the beauty of smallvictories in tough times. This keeps morale high so they can keep fighting thegood fight.

6.     Theyvalue their tribe. They care for their team.Lose the tribe and you lose everything.

The techniques are important, butactually executing them is even more so. See this article foractionable strategies to start implementing this into your life.

A couple of years ago I received an advice from a person who I have always considered to be highly productive. That advice astonished me. It seemed both counterintuitive and weird. Nonetheless, with time, I realized its true value.

The best advice I have ever received on being productive is Do Less.

Very often productivity is associated with hard work. The more you work, the more tasks you get done. The harder you work, the better quality you produce. In fact, it is rarely true.

Work harder, get up earlier, stay up later—those have been considered to be prerequisites of better results and incredible productivity for a long time. In reality, these advice very often appear to be completely misleading.

Embrace the truth: Work is never done. It consists of tons of tiny things that constantly pile up and never finish. Eventually, you barely notice how work burns your time. The more you feed that monster the hungrier it gets.

Meanwhile, the secret of high productivity lies in the firm focus, concentration and proper execution of the tasks that matter most.

Do Less is not about allowing for laziness, procrastination and adding a few more hours of spare time.

In fact, Do Less is about working smarter instead of working harder and cultivating the habits that are a perfect fit for the goals you set and the level of productivity you would like to achieve.

Overall, Do Less is all about:

• Saying NO to things that do not add value.
• Avoiding multitasking.
• Focusing on the tasks that add value.
• Avoiding unnecessary busyness.
• Not over-committing.
• Running a marathon, not a sprint.
• Not sacrificing your rest.

Being MVP of your team and the most productive guy in the room does not require to have an endless list of tasks and lots of commitments. It does not require overworking either.

To be highly productive you have to organize you work in such a way that you are producing more while doing less.

I’m in my mid 50’s, so my examples are people who have reached my age and have little to nothing to show for it. Those people are pretty predictable.

Not Careful With Money

I’m not rich, but I am careful with money. For this I have my own home and I am self employed and most of my debt is the house. The house has been steadily appreciating in value and will provide us with a tidy sum someday when we sell and move to someplace cheaper.

I know a woman who owned her own home and had enough money, but wasn’t frugal and couldn’t keep it together. She is in her 70’s and lives with her sister solely due to her own bad financial abilities. She is always poor now. Her quality of life sucks at this point. If you get to your fifties and you’re not established financially in some way, it’s almost too late. For us ordinary people it takes many years.

It’s hard to imagine in your 20’s, but monetary stability over the long haul is important to your financial future.

Not Careful with your body

Nothing will ruin your life faster than a bad accident, whether you’re riding a bike, a bicycle or driving a car or participating in a sport or doing a dangerous job.

But this also includes eating badly, no exercise, smoking etc.

If your body gets damaged enough, you lose the ability to work and you’re now a poor person for the rest of your life. Of all the mistakes that people make, this is the one I see the most of: older people with disabilities, poor living conditions and no future.

Going it alone, never partnering up

Two people can live better than one. There is a great deal more financial security and physical safety when two people are looking out for one another. It doesn’t have to be the perfect relationship because an ordinary one is far better than none at all.

Edit:

Not embarking on continual self improvement

Self improvement is dreadfully slow and the real benefits might not show up for years. You have to begin young and keep at it all your life. Not doing this means that once you hit your 50’s, you’re still making the same mistakes that you did when you were 20. This is rare; most people do continually improve themselves, but those times I’ve seen someone not do this the results were disastrous.

Once they got to their 50’s it all caught up to them. A dead end job, no solid intimate relationship(s) and poor health. The trifecta of misery.

Spies: How do you disappear fromsight?

ColinJensen, lotsa' martial arts experience

https://www.quora.com/Spies-How-do-you-disappear-from-sight

How do you react if someone doesn'tpay their share for dinner?

GarrickSaito

Each time you go out, when thecheck is presented, say “The bill comes out to $40 including tax and tip.Everyone throw in $10.”

Then, be the first to put your$10 at the center of the table. Make sure to bring all denominations so you canthrow in the exact amount required.

I think this will send a clearmessage that you (and your other friend who pays) will not be picking up the tab each time in thefuture.

If your other two friends cannotafford it, they will very likely declineto have dinner with the group in the future, due to other plans previouslymade. Alternatively, they’ll curb their spending during the week knowingthey’ll have to come up with $X for your weekly get together. I call bullshiton your “they’re always broke” comment. Sacrifices in discretionary spending can always be made in order to pay for obligations.

If they can afford it (but were basically taking advantage of you and yourfriend’s generosity), they’ll loosen their purse strings a bit and start payingtheir fair share.

If you no longer wish to be takenadvantage of, the time has come to draw the line in the sand.

Why do cats like people who ignorethem?

MelaKirkwood, who learned about cats from cats.

WrittenDec 21, 2015

One of the lessons mother catsteach their kittens is how to recognize when someone is dangerous.  Themother toys with a small animal, large insect, or one of the kittens, while thekittens watch.  Then the mother turns her back to the prey, and just sitswith her back to it, perhaps washing her paws.  The kittens are watching,waiting to see what will happen.  As long as the mother cat's back isturned to the prey, the prey is safe.  Then she turns around to face theprey, and the battle is on again.  The kittens have learned that a turnedback means no attack. 

I've seen my cats turn their backon other cats, on a vulture, and on a deer.  It means no attack. "I will not attack you, so you have no reason to attack me." Turning their back is a way to communicate no attack.

I have used this to communicatewith skittish stray cats-- I sit on the ground with my back to them, and theyunderstand that I will not attack them.   Then they feel safer withme and gradually approach. 

Perhaps ignoring a cat is like turning your back to them; infact it may include turning your back to them.  Perhaps that communicatesthe no attack message.  There will be no fight; you are not dangerous.

Lifestyle: What is the one thing thatI can start doing today that will promise a greater life for me in the future?

MaxLukominskyi, CMO at Sliceplanner. Featured on Inc, Business Insider, ThoughtCatalog

There is one thing you couldstart doing right now that can eventually become life-changing and help youexperience a breakthrough in your personal growth.

Develop a habit of scheduling.

This tiny seemingly innocuousdaily habit can, in fact, improve your efficiency and help you acceleratetowards the things you want to accomplish.

Scheduling is not just about theordering of tasks throughout the day. It is about the proper allocation andusage of your time and effort.

There might be endless debatesregarding the most important and valuable thing in life. However, everything islikely to boil down to the most precious asset, namely time. Ultimately, thegreat and meaningful life is all about the wise use of this asset.

Those people who have managed tomaster their time appear to be insanely successful and prosperous, thanks toone small habit.

Start one night before. Writedown your goals for the next day. Allocate your time and effort for the tasksthat take you closer to the desired aspirations. Employ the approach toplanning that eliminates the low-efficiency habits, but rather provides youwith the opportunity to improve your performance. Follow your schedule andachieve your goals faster.

Start scheduling today. Do it ona consistent basis.

In the short term it can seemtedious and trivial. However, in the long run this daily action will pay offand ensure the high productivity and achievement of your goals that eventuallywill lead to the great and meaningful life.