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ADHD kids hear "I'm the problem" on repeat. Learn why repairing after yelling rewrites that story—and what to do when your child won't engage.

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There's a sentence ADHD kids learn really early. They don't usually say it out loud, but they're living it internally: I'm the problem.

Not "that was hard." Not "that didn't go well." But something is wrong with me.

Here's what the research says: it's not the conflict that damages your relationship—it's the unrepaired conflict. And for kids with ADHD, who've already received thousands more corrections than their peers by elementary school, those unrepaired moments stack into an identity.

In part two of our repair series, we're going deeper into why repair matters so much for the ADHD brain—especially when rejection sensitivity makes yelling feel like proof they're unlovable.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• The critical difference between shame and guilt (and why it matters for ADHD)
• Why your child refuses to accept your apology (it's protection, not defiance)
• How to repair when your kid shuts down or says "I don't care"
• The nonverbal repairs that count just as much as words
• Language shifts that protect your child's identity
• Signs that your repair actually worked

Walk away knowing that every repair—even the ones your child doesn't respond to—becomes data they'll use to trust you again.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• The Shame vs. Guilt Distinction
• Why Kids Refuse Repair (3 Reasons)
• How to Repair When They Won't Engage
• Nonverbal Repairs That Count
• The Identity-Protecting Language Shift

Why This Matters for ADHD

By late elementary school, kids with ADHD have received thousands more negative corrections than their peers. These aren't neutral—they stack into an identity of "I am the problem." Consistent repair doesn't erase consequences; it changes the story from "I am bad" to "that was hard."

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Free Mini Course: Calm the Chaos: The ADHD Parent Reset  
• Related Episode: Part 1 – Stop Sitting in Mom Guilt: How to Repair with Your ADHD Child After You Lose It
• Related Episode: Why Small Things Trigger Big Meltdowns: How Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria Hijacks ADHD Brains
• Related Episode: When ADHD Anger Turns Destructive: Why Punishment Makes It Worse (And What Actually Works)

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Yelled at your ADHD child and feel awful? Learn the 5-step repair system that protects your child's self-esteem and actually strengthens your relationship.

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The explosion is over. The house is quiet. Your kid has disappeared into their room, and you're standing there with a pit in your stomach, replaying the look on their face and asking yourself the question no parenting book prepared you for: Am I ruining my kid?

Here's what you were never taught: the yelling isn't what damages the relationship. It's what happens—or doesn't happen—afterward.

In this episode, Apryl and Dr. Brian Bradford break down the neuroscience behind why your child can't "learn their lesson" during a blowup (spoiler: their thinking brain is literally offline), and walk you through the exact 5-step repair process that protects your child from developing a shame-based identity.

Because ADHD kids already hear thousands more corrections than their peers by elementary school. They don't need perfection from you. They need repair.

You'll learn:

• Why secure attachment is built through rupture AND repair—not by never messing up
• The brain science behind why consequences don't work when your child is dysregulated
• The 5-part repair system you can use tonight (with exact scripts)
• How to apologize without giving in on your boundaries
• The "do-over" technique for catching yourself before it escalates
• Why this one shift can change your child's internal story from "I'm bad" to "I'm learning"

If you've been carrying guilt about losing your temper, this episode will feel like someone finally handed you the missing manual.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

• Free course: "3-Second Calm Reset" at raisingadhd.org/calm
• Previous episode: When ADHD Anger Turns Destructive: Why Punishment Makes It Worse (And What Actually Works)
• ADHD Alien comic 

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Destructive anger in ADHD kids is one of the most misunderstood, shame-loaded experiences parents face. The advice most families are given — harsher consequences, bigger punishments, “making it stop” — often makes these episodes happen more often, not less.

In this episode, Apryl and Dr. Brian walk through what’s actually happening in the ADHD brain during these moments — and the system that helps families stop the cycle without becoming permissive or powerless.

Thoughts parents have that this episode answers

• “If I don’t punish this hard, am I raising a future adult who can’t control themselves?”
• “Why does my kid destroy things over something so small?”
• “Nothing works — consequences, lectures, taking things away.”
• “Am I being too soft… or am I missing something?”

You’re not weak for asking those questions. You’re responding to a nervous system problem with tools that were never designed for ADHD brains.

What This Episode Walks You Through

1. Why logic disappears during ADHD anger explosions

• What’s happening in the amygdala vs. the prefrontal cortex
• Why reasoning, lecturing, and threats cannot work in the moment
• The difference between knowing better and being able to do better

2. The system that reduces destructive behavior over time

• How to interrupt explosions before they happen
• Why antecedents matter more than consequences
• The “positive opposite” strategy that teaches replacement behaviors

3. Consequences that teach — without escalating the fire

• Why harsh punishment increases aggression and dysregulation
• What accountability looks like for ADHD kids
• How small, boring, predictable consequences actually stick

4. How this changes for teenagers

• Why dignity, privacy, and agency matter more as kids get older
• How to collaborate instead of control
• What repair sounds like after the storm — without shaming

5. What teachers can do to prevent public blowups

• Simple classroom strategies that protect regulation and self-esteem
• How to intervene quietly before the explosion
• Why predictability lowers threat for ADHD students

Why this approach works when others fail

Most parenting advice treats explosive anger as a behavior problem.
This episode treats it as a nervous system overload — and responds with strategies that work with ADHD brains instead of against them.

This isn’t permissive parenting.
 It isn’t “being soft.”
 It’s strategic, research-aligned, and focused on building skills your child will carry into adulthood.

Want to go deeper?

• Share this episode with a partner, teacher, or caregiver who needs the full picture
• Subscribe so you don’t miss the next episode on repairing after blowups
• Leave a review — it helps other ADHD families find support that actually helps

You’re not failing.
You’re learning a different way to lead — because you have a different kid.

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This is the holiday episode every ADHD parent needs.
After five weeks of dismantling holiday myths, decoding meltdowns, and rebuilding your confidence piece-by-piece…we’re finally here.

In this episode of Raising ADHD, Apryl (former teacher + ADHD mom) and Dr. Brian Bradford (child & adolescent psychiatrist) reveal the complete, step-by-step ADHD Holiday Survival System — the exact 3-phase plan that helps your child stay regulated, reduces sensory overload, prevents RSD spirals, and finally lets your family enjoy the holidays again.

If you’ve ever thought:

• “Why do the holidays always end in tears?”
• “Why does my ADHD child fall apart at family gatherings?”
• “Why is the week after Christmas the hardest week of the year?”
• “Why does my kid get overstimulated so fast — and how do I help?”

…this episode is your roadmap back to calm, connection, and actual joy.

🎄 What You’ll Learn (and Why It Works for ADHD Brains)

PHASE 1 — The Setup (Outsourcing Executive Function Before the Holidays Even Start)

✔ The Visual Preview Strategy that solves ADHD time blindness
✔ The No-Surprises Gift Rule that prevents meltdowns and RSD
✔ The Body-Doubling Wrapping Method that eliminates last-minute stress
✔ Why neurodivergent families need predictability, not “magic”
✔ How ADHD adults benefit from these same tools too

PHASE 2 — The Event (Regulating Sensory + Social Load in Real Time)

✔ How to create a Sensory Safe Zone before you even walk in the door
✔ What belongs in your ADHD Regulation Kit
✔ The Two-Car Rule that stops the “I’m trapped here” panic spiral
✔ Social Scripts to avoid overexplaining, awkwardness, or unsolicited advice
✔ The Dopamine Menu that stabilizes mood + behavior without restricting joy

These strategies don’t just help your child stay regulated — they help YOU stay regulated, which makes the whole day smoother.

PHASE 3 — The Landing (Preventing the Dopamine Crash After the Holidays)

✔ Why the post-holiday crash is biological, not behavioral
 ✔ The Buffer Day Rule that protects your family’s nervous system
✔ Why every ADHD family needs a Bridge Event 2–3 weeks after Christmas
✔ How to rebuild joy through connection, not perfection
✔ “Good Enough Traditions” that reduce overwhelm and increase bonding

This phase alone will change your January.

🌟 Why This Episode Matters

The holidays were built for neurotypical brains — not ADHD ones.
If you’ve ever felt like you were failing…you weren’t.

The system was failing you.

But with the right structure, sensory strategies, and dopamine-aware planning, your holidays can go from barely surviving to:

• peaceful mornings
• fewer meltdowns
• more connection
• actual joy

…for both you and your ADHD kiddo.

🔗 FREE Holiday Survival PDF (Your Step-By-Step Plan)

Grab the full holiday system as a printable PDF:
 👉 raisingadhd.org/holiday

🎙️ Have a Question You Want Us to Answer on the Show?

Submit it here and we may feature it in an upcoming episode:
 👉 raisingadhd.org/question

❤️ If This Episode Helped You…

The best gift you can give us this season is:

• leaving a review
• tapping subscribe
• sharing this with another parent or teacher who needs it

Your support helps more families find the ADHD clarity they’ve been searching for.

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There’s a moment every ADHD parent remembers.
Not the big, Instagram-perfect one — the small, quiet one.

It’s the moment you realize:
“Wait… this actually worked.”

The morning didn’t explode.
The meltdown didn’t happen.
Your kid didn’t spiral at the holiday party.
For a few seconds, your home felt calm — and you almost didn’t believe it.

This episode of Raising ADHD is about that moment.
The wins.
The proof that small changes create big transformations, especially during the holidays.

Welcome to Episode 4 of our Holiday Series — the episode where everything finally clicks.

✨ What This Episode Covers (and Why It Matters)

After learning the ADHD Holiday Paradox (Ep 1), the 10-Minute Reset (Ep 2), and the myths sabotaging your season (Ep 3)…
today we show you how the wins start showing up — in mornings, sensory overwhelm, boundaries, and emotional regulation.

These are the changes you’ll begin to see when your child’s brain finally gets:

✔ structure
✔ sensory safety
✔ predictable rhythms
✔ boundaries that protect everyone

Let’s break down the four biggest wins ADHD families experience during the holidays.

🎁 WIN #1 — Morning Peace (The Everyday Anchor That Changes Everything)

Mornings are the pressure cooker of ADHD households — fast, frantic, and full of cortisol spikes.
But one small daily anchor (“the first thing we always do”) can completely change the tone of the day.

You’ll learn:

• How predictable anchors wake up the “CEO of the brain”
• Why fewer surprises = fewer tears, fewer shoe-hunting disasters
• How small pockets of calm compound into full-day emotional stability

This win is tiny but powerful — and it shows up almost immediately.

🎄 WIN #2 — Sensory Safety (Not Eliminating Noise, But Containing It)

Holiday events are sensory landmines: noise, scents, lights, unpredictable social chaos.

But simple sensory supports — noise-canceling headphones, sunglasses, a 5-minute car break — create an instant shift.

Here’s what parents start seeing:

• Fewer meltdowns
• Fewer shutdowns
• Longer participation at gatherings
• Less “walking on eggshells”
• A calmer, more stable nervous system

Research shows these micro-interventions directly reduce dysregulation in ADHD kids.
Your child feels the difference right away.

🌟 WIN #3 — Boundaries (The Quiet Hero of ADHD Holiday Success)

This is the win that sneaks up on families — and transforms everything.

You’ll learn why boundaries like:

• Leaving the event 30 minutes early
• Protecting bedtime
• Saying no to one overwhelming tradition
• Letting go of the Pinterest-perfect holiday

…create immediate relief, reduce resentment, and protect emotional energy for everyone.

When families set even one boundary, the holidays shift from:

Barely surviving → Actually enjoyable

And teachers feel this too — because regulated kids return to school calmer, steadier, and less overwhelmed.

💛 WIN #4 — Emotional Regulation Returns (The Surprise Win Parents Never Expect)

When structure comes back, sensory overload reduces, and boundaries protect the home…
You start to see:

• fewer emotional crashes
• faster recoveries
• more flexibility
• more composure
• fewer explosive responses

This is the win that brings parents to tears — because when the noise settles and the chaos stops…

✨ you finally enjoy your child again.

This is the heart of the entire holiday series.

🎧 NEXT WEEK: The Full ADHD Holiday Survival Pla

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If your holidays feel louder, harder, and more meltdown-heavy than everyone else’s, there’s a reason — and it’s not your parenting.
It’s the three myths you were taught to believe about ADHD and the holidays.

In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on the well-intentioned advice that’s been making December nearly impossible for ADHD kids (and the adults raising them). These myths feel comforting, logical, even wholesome — but the neuroscience tells a very different story.

And once you hear the truth?
Your entire holiday season will make sense in a way it never has before.

🎧 In this episode, we reveal:

1️⃣ The sugar myth that’s fooled parents for decades

You’ll learn why research shows sugar is not causing the chaos — and what is driving your child’s post-party explosions (hint: it’s something far more surprising and much easier to fix).

2️⃣ The “holiday break reset” myth that quietly destroys regulation

We explain why unstructured days don’t recharge ADHD kids — they destabilize them.
This is the reason your child is more explosive after break, not refreshed.

3️⃣ The medication myth that hurts families every December

We walk through the outdated advice that still circulates among parents, teachers, and even some clinicians — and the neuroscience that proves why skipping ADHD meds during the holidays makes everything harder.

These aren’t opinions.
These aren’t parenting hacks.
These are clinical patterns Brian sees every year, research-backed truths, and the brain science that finally helps everything click.

If you’ve ever looked at your child during the holidays and thought:

“Why is this so much harder for us than it is for other families?”
“What am I missing?”
“Why does everyone promise the break will help — but it just makes things worse?”

This episode gives you the answers no one else is saying out loud.

You’ll walk away with a completely new understanding of your child’s brain, why December overwhelms them so intensely, and what you can put in place today to make the holidays calmer — for both of you.

• Your child isn’t melting down because of sugar.
  It’s excitement + sensory overload + adrenaline — not cupcakes.
• Your child doesn’t thrive in wide-open free time.
  Their brain needs scaffolding, even during holidays, to stay regulated.
• Your child doesn’t need a “break” from medication.
  ADHD doesn’t turn off when school closes — and neither does the need for emotional support.

These three shifts alone can transform the entire season.

• Research on sugar + hyperactivity
• Insights from the International ADHD Conference
• Apryl’s favorite coloring tablecloths for calm holiday mornings → http://creativecrayonsworkshop.com/color with code COLOR

Please make sure you:

• Follow the show
• Leave a review — this truly helps ADHD families find trustworthy support
• Share this episode with a parent, teacher, or therapist who needs the truth (not myths)

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If “holiday magic” currently looks more like meltdowns over socks, cold coffee, and pure morning chaos, you’re not doing anything wrong, you’re living inside the ADHD Holiday Paradox.

In today’s episode, we're revealing the fastest way to bring calm back into your home, a simple, science-backed 10-Minute Holiday Reset that lowers emotional reactivity, rebuilds structure, and gives your family the breathing room you desperately need right now.

And teachers, you’re part of this too. Stick around for the quick classroom-calming notes near the end.

🎧 IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL LEARN:

🔥 Why ADHD brains unravel faster during the holidays
Their sensory systems take in everything, all at once.

🔥 The “anchor activity” that instantly calms an ADHD household
And why it works from home, hotels, grandma’s house… anywhere.

🔥 How 10 minutes can reset the entire day
The prefrontal-cortex science behind why this simple rhythm works.

🔥 What sensory + emotional shielding looks like in real life
Including why meltdowns aren’t defiance — they’re survival.

🔥 Why it’s okay to say no to “perfect holiday traditions”
And how boundary scripts protect everyone’s energy.

🔥 A quick teacher tip to survive the pre-break chaos
(Because the whole classroom feels ADHD-ish right now.)

✨ COMING NEXT WEEK

We’re busting the 3 biggest ADHD holiday myths that keep families stuck in guilt, chaos, and emotional noise.

Hit FOLLOW now so the episode lands straight in your app.

📩 HAVE A QUESTION FOR US?

We’d love to hear from you!
 DM us on Instagram at @raisingadhd_org — your question might be featured in a future episode.
Or you might even join us as a guest.

And if this episode gave you even one “oh my gosh, that’s us” moment…
 the best Christmas gift you can give us is a quick rating + review.

🎨 HOLIDAY TIP: WANT A CALMER TABLE THIS YEAR?

Before we dive in, Apryl shares one of her favorite holiday sanity-savers:

👉 Creative Crayons Workshop coloring tablecloths
Kids stay busy. You get a few quiet minutes. Everyone wins.

You can grab 20% off your order here:
https://creativecrayonsworkshop.com/color

Use code: COLOR

They even personalize them for birthdays and holiday themes — truly a magical reset tool.

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You know how the holidays are supposed to be magical — cozy mornings, matching jammies, and family smiles?

Yeah… for ADHD families, it usually looks more like meltdowns, forgotten gifts, and someone crying in the bathroom.

In this episode,we unpack why that happens and (spoiler) it’s not because you’re doing anything wrong. The ADHD brain loses its external structure during the holidays, and that missing routine sends everything into chaos.

We break down the science behind:
 🎄 Why “time off” can actually feel like too much freedom for ADHD brains
🧠 What’s really happening in your child’s prefrontal cortex during those meltdowns
💔 How rejection sensitivity makes simple corrections feel like personal attacks
💡 The real reason your organized, capable self suddenly forgets to buy milk
❤️ And why none of this means you’re failing.

This episode is here to help you exhale, to understand what’s happening behind the chaos, and start rebuilding the calm.

👉 Listen now to finally understand the ADHD Holiday Paradox, and get ready for next week’s episode, where we're sharing the 10-Minute Holiday Reset Routine to bring peace back to your home.

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You say “It’s time to turn off the iPad.”
 They feel like their world just ended.

If you’ve watched your child melt down over something you thought was minor—tears, anger, “You never let me”—you’re not imagining it. For many kids with ADHD, this kind of reaction comes from something called Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD).

In today’s episode of Raising ADHD, Apryl Bradford (former teacher + ADHD mom) and Dr. Brian Bradford (child & adolescent psychiatrist) dive deep into why even a small “no” or quick correction can feel like a major rejection to an ADHD brain — and how you, as a parent or teacher, can stop being stunned and step into being a guide.

🔍 What you’ll learn

• What RSD really is — and how it’s linked to ADHD. 
• The brain science behind it: how the amygdala triggers a threat response and the anterior cingulate cortex struggles to soothe the pain. 
• What it looks like in everyday life:
  • Bursting into tears because you told them to stop screen time
  • Pulling out of activities after one small mistake
  • Reacting with anger when a friend doesn’t wave back
  • Shutting down when corrected in class
• Why it’s not just “a bad reaction” or “acting out” — it’s a survival response.
• The 3-step support plan you can start tonight
• What teachers and schools can do
• Bonus: When this might need extra help (therapy options, emotional regulation tools).

You’re not failing as a parent or teacher — you’re responding to a wired-in brain pattern. And the more you understand it, the better you’ll help your child face rejection, bounce back, and grow stronger.

📌 Resources & Links

• The Whole-Brain Child by Drs. Siegel & Bryson — a wonderful read about brain integration and emotion.
• Join the free Holiplay Summit next week!
• Follow us on Instagram 👉 @raisingadhd_org

💡 Who this episode is for

• A parent who’s just done watching another meltdown and thinking, “Why is this so big?”
• A teacher who keeps seeing a child shut down over what looks like a small correction.
• An ADHD kid (or adult) who’s ever felt like they “over-react” and wondered if something deeper is going on.

Send us a text

What if the key to helping your ADHD child wasn't just medication—but a combination of unexpected interventions backed by cutting-edge research? In this episode, Dr. Brian Bradford returns from the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) national conference in Chicago with game-changing research findings that every parent and teacher needs to hear.

From why twice-weekly therapy sessions outperform weekly appointments to the surprising connection between tonsillectomies and ADHD symptom improvement, this episode breaks down the latest scientific discoveries in a way that's actually useful for your daily life.

What You'll Learn

• Revolutionary Executive Function Training (3:55)
• The Sleep-ADHD Connection You're Missing (9:59)
• 504 Plans: What's Actually Working (12:14)
• Teachers Need Support Too (18:24)
• Surprising Animal Therapy Research (26:08)
• When ADHD Runs in Families (22:37)

Key Takeaways

✓ Start executive function training early (3rd-5th grade is optimal) for lifelong organizational skills

✓ Prioritize sleep assessment before assuming all symptoms are ADHD-related—sleep apnea could be creating "super ADHD"

✓ Advocate confidently for 504 plans—they're legally required, and knowing what works helps you push for effective accommodations

✓ Build partnerships with teachers who love your child but lack training and resources

✓ Consider animal-assisted therapy as a complementary intervention with growing research support

✓ Remember: ADHD is highly hereditary—understanding your own executive function challenges helps you support your child better

Resources Mentioned

• Holiplay Summit (free): holiplaysummit.com
  • Apryl's session: "From Road Trips to Red Eyes" - ADHD travel hacks for the holidays
• Dr. Gallagher's Organizational Skills Training Program (for 3rd-5th graders)
• CHAD ADHD Conference (Kansas City, upcoming)
• American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Orange Journal (October 2025) for full research papers
• CHAD Magazine - recent article on early intervention benefits

Research Highlighted

• Rush University: Executive function training efficacy study
• University of Missouri School of Medicine: 504 plan accommodation survey
• Skagit Regional Health, Washington: Tonsillectomy and ADHD outcomes
• Cambridge University, UK: Teacher relationship study with 155 participants
• Harvard Medical School: Familial ADHD risk markers
• Tel Aviv University & McGill University: Daytime sleepiness and executive function
• Rowan Virtua School of Medicine: Animal-assisted therapy meta-analysis

Special Announcement

Join Apryl Bradford at the FREE Hiloplay Summit next week for her session on ADHD-friendly travel strategies just in time for the holidays. Get your free ticket at holiplaysummit.com.

Connect With Raising ADHD

https://www.instagram.com/raisingadhd_org/

Note: This episode references research presented at the 2025 AACAP conference. For complete study details, consult the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry's Orange Journal, October 2025 edition.

Episode Credits

Hosts: Apryl Bradford (Former Teacher & ADHD Mom) and Dr. Brian Bradford (Child & Adolescent Psychiatrist)

Episode Length: 32:44

Release Date: 10/29/25