I don’t know if it’s a common thing or not but when I was little, I used to lay in bed at night and think about dying. The idea of death terrified me. I’d like to think this is normal, but I’m not sure. I wasn’t exactly a normal kid.

There are probably a million good things about having just one child. I can say this confidently because I have 3 kids. Jokes aside, all 3 of my girls are wonderful humans that I cannot imagine life without. However, there are definitely A LOT of positives about sticking to just one offspring.  Such as the fact that you never have to worry about keeping the playing field even. You don’t have to count the number of Christmas presents and ensure they are equal. You don’t have to constantly try to split your time and attention between more than one child.…

Being a mom to a newborn is definitely a confusing role. One part of you cherishes each and every moment. You luxuriate in the sweet baby smell, soft skin, utter neediness, and tiny grunts and coo’s. Your heart aches with their cries. You orbit them like Earth does the Sun. They are your entire world and you cannot imagine life without them in it anymore. BUT, on the flip side, their cries irritate your sleep-deprived mind. You shush and shush without soothing them and feel like you might be on the brink of madness. They want to nurse constantly and…

Sleep deprivation is hands down the worst part of having a newborn. Close second might be breastfeeding. Sure, despite the 50 things I basically LOVE about breastfeeding, it does literally and figuratively suck. You are tied to the baby because of your boobs. You can’t really go anywhere and I personally feel like a food source vs. a human during the first month or so.  Nursing compounds the sleep issue since ONLY YOU can provide food in the middle of the night. ONLY YOU can stop the cries. So, that means ONLY YOU gets up when the wee babe decides…

My Facebook feed is flooded with fights right now. The virus, racial inequalities, politics. It’s a never ending spiral of dissenting opinions and arguments. 2020 has been the year for opposing views…a royal shit show that doesn’t appear to be getting better any time soon. Like everyone, I have my opinions and certain views on most of these topics. But, I very rarely comment on anything for two reasons. First, I’m not an expert on anything so I don’t feel qualified to argue against someone. And secondly, I f*cking hate arguments.

Apologies out the gate if this post is a little haphazard and seems like it was written by a sleep-deprived, walking milk truck who can’t remember anything unless it’s written down on a piece of paper. The post may seem less coherent than my others but I wanted to write down Evie’s birth story soon before all the details get lost in this brain of mine and I forget the pain, guilt, and sheer joy/love of welcoming my third daughter into this crazy world we live in right now. Evangeline’s birth story is a song of sun and water. I…

The age gap between my kids is pretty significant and for the most part, 100% intentional. Four and a half years separates Scarlett from Gianna. Baby girl #3, who is due in June, will be almost 9 years younger than Scarlett. I intentionally waited to try for another baby. I’ve talked about those reasons before. So now, here I am essentially starting all over again when my oldest is 13. One big thing for me that is different about this pregnancy vs. my other two is now I have two little mothers around. Two little mothers who want to be…

Being grateful actually makes you MORE HAPPY than getting more money or buying a sweet ass car or dream home. Our brains tell us this isn’t true, but the science backs it up. My brain is one of them. Honestly, I think I would be 100 times more happy if I had a bigger house vs if I expressed gratefulness about things every day…but the research doesn’t back it up. And, if I really think about it, once I get something I’ve wanted for a long time, it does give me happiness for a minute…but then there I am –…

I talk about positivity and how I am focused on living my life with that type of mindset. However, I am human. I am a pregnant human with hormones and indigestion. I have 2 strong willed daughters who are adjusting to this new normal. I’m married to a man who gets joy out of being a complete dick sometimes. So, while I constantly try to live with a positive mindset, I definitely have my moments of sheer exhaustion and “woe is me” pity parties. I get sad. I get annoyed and depressed. I am human.

I forgot how much being pregnant sucks. 32 weeks in and I’m f*cking done. I want my body back. I want to be able to see all my parts without tucking my belly in and stretching my neck out like a damn giraffe. I want to be able to bend down without grunting like an 80 year old man. I want to eat what I want to eat and not worry about another human when I do. Which brings me to diabetes, and the fact that I failed my 1 hour glucose test recently.