Read it and Weep

When we went to see Episode 7 last year, we signed a death pact with Disney, one that said that we’re going to get a new Star Wars movie every year until long after we’re all dead and the Earth is a burnt-out wasteland. Rogue One is Disney delivering on that deal.

It’s not bad, obviously. It might even be good. But it’s also got some weirdness that we can’t help but talk about, so dive into this episode. In order to play it, you just need to press the giant master switch in the middle of the field.

It’s New Year’s Eve 2011 in New York City and a mysterious infection has struck 40 or so low-level movie stars, forcing them to be in a film whose whole premise is that New Year’s Eve is super important.

The ensemble cast sleepwalks through two hours of wacky NYE plots including “future lovers stuck in elevator” and “cooks who look like they’ve never touched food before.” In the end, it’s 2012 and a real shame the world didn’t end.

Netflix thought Tanya would give this movie 4 stars.

Sure, it’s a Christmas movie written by interns, shot in Palo Alto in the middle of summer, and produced in 3 days. But Netflix thought Tanya would like it because she likes cheesy movies. Maybe not this cheesy though.

Kayla is engaged to a super famous choreographer (I know!) but it’s not going well because his fake British accent is too annoying. Then a magic/cursed elevator (really!) forces her to kiss a charming chef with a surprising number of platonic female friends and together they get a dog. Homeless Santa doesn’t help much a group of time traveling robots caught in a Christmas loop serenade them. That’s the book?

Anyway, happy holidays, everybody. We’ll be off for a couple weeks after this and we’ll miss you.

For years we joked about writing a book where a teenage girl falls in love with a sexy mummy. Then we did. And for years we talked about finishing it and publishing it. And now it’s finally happened, it’s finally time for mummies.

We go deep on the writing process, answer questions from our listeners, respond to our critics, and bore Chris with details of the River Jewel. We hope you enjoy! And, of course, you can grab your copy including the audiobook read by Sarah Hatheway by going to http://unwrapmyheart.com.

It was a major US holiday last week, so we decided to just catch up as friends. We talked what we’re reading/watching outside of the show, what we’re digging, and how we’re cooking pasta. Let us know if you give a shit about any of this!

Links

For our Thanksgiving special this week we decided to watch other people eat. Specifically, the surprisingly compatible Martha Stewart and Snoop Dogg. Specifically in a way that seems as uncomfortable as possible.

VH1’s new show capitalizing on the weirdness of these two people together. Then they hang out with other celebrities, drink, and play games. It’s fine. Alex likes it more than everybody else, but everybody agrees, it’s okay.

The finale of the 58th season of the show Presidential Elections in the United States went live last week and it had a pretty big twist ending. We dealt with it the way we do with anything we struggle to understand, we podcasted about it.

This episode probably isn’t for everybody, but for a few of you, maybe it’ll help you.

In the future when we have too much money and knowledge, two brave men decided to make a sex/murder theme park. But there’s a problem, they may have made the sex robots… too good?

For this week we dove into the prestige HBO series, Westworld. “But don’t you guys do bad things?” We do what we want, and this week we wanted to talk about Westworld. We hope you do too.

Obviously this contains major spoilers of episodes 1 – 5.

Back in 1987, back before he ever bragged about pussy grabbin, to Billy Bush, Donald J. Trump was a deal maker. Well, more like a sweaty conman in New York who owned some stuff largely due to loans and political capital given to him by his father.

Never shy about self-promotion, DJT “wrote” a book (with former journalist Tony Schwartz) about how great he was, a largely fictionalized tale of triumph in New York real estate market. He bought a hotel and made it better. He built a casino. He spent a long time talking about an ice rink for some reason?

We’re not a political show, so we focused on literary value of this “best selling business book of all time”, and found it to be about as successful as the tallest building in the world Donald built in Television City.

For the finale of #TheRocktober, we checked out Pain ampersand Gain, the light hearted comedy about a real group of body builders who tortured a business man for a month, stole everything he had, and murdered two other people.

Okay, okay, it’s not funny that those things really happened. And okay, it’s not funny in the movie either. But boy did Michael Bay try to make it funny. Along with his myriad superfluous camera angles, he pushed The Rock into one of his weirdest performances to date and really searched for the humor in this tragic story.