READY SLOW

Episode 70 finds both guys snowed-in and dreaming of a white Martin Luther King Day. Shean is setting guidelines for hiring employees and Shane is fighting an uphill real estate battle against liars, con artists, and thieves.

The guys discuss historical cubism, death mocking, and the white woman with a humanities degree that curated the African section of the ATL airport.

They also get into whether or not Shane is the one who’s truly unhinged for calling out his old employer on instagram. Plus, Shane welcomes Shean into the Church of Kanye after listening to the new song, “Eazy.” 

The corpse of Vladimir Lenin makes a special appearance.

Shean has omicron and Shane discusses the nature of modern genocide.
With special appearances from a hysterical, unhinged,  moral authoritarian. 

Instagram says Shean and Shane are inciting violence. There’s a strange man in Shane’s yard. Shean’s discussing philosophy with his uber driver. Trump’s been boostered. Rittenhouse’s media blitz proves we’re in The Hunger Games. And Kamala’s mask slips on Charlamagne’s show. 

Wars and rumors of war. Friends gaslighting friends. Rape and love letters. Enrique and his mole. 

The guys also discuss: how to know whether or not you’re in a cult; how many times President Biden coughed during his Omicron speech; and little white girls telling black men to mask up. 

Plus, Shean gifts Shane a free therapy session for Christmas — live, on air, during Ready Slow. 

For the holidays, Shean’s life is spiraling out of control, and Shane lands himself in urgent care. 

NY has a new mask mandate, so Shane’s getting kicked out of the supermarket, and Italy is preventing Shean from having the vacation he’s worked so hard to plan — thanks to more draconian COVID policies. 

The guys discuss being crisis men and death men—plus, Jussie Smollett, CNN’s predatory producers, The Atlantic’s lack of integrity, childhood abandonment issues, and (for our day 1 listeners) how Shane’s finally become Howard. 

Sia, Ghislaine Maxwell, Madonna, Nancy Reagan, and the Turpin family make appearances.

Episode 66 finds Shean getting accosted by a psychopath in a Whole Foods bathroom while Shane has a full blown panic attack on the highway. 
The guys discuss Alec Baldwin’s crocodile tears, toothbrush protocols, glamping, and the sustained madness of the modern world.

Shean is also convinced that Shane has been replaced by a clone after they almost have a falling out over the show Friends.

Jesus in a pyramid also makes an appearance.

Episode 65 is a Ready Slow Thanksgiving Special. The guys discuss Britney and Rittenhouse going free, celebrity clones, and the glitch in the matrix that happened on live TV. 

Shean unravels the Church of Kardashian, while Shane is visited by his past self during the recording of this episode. 

The Golden Girls and the hickey on Pete Davidson’s neck also make an appearance.

Astroworld, nanotechnology, the desperation of corporate media, and the Garden of Earthly Delights. 

Shean is about to be homeless in Europe, and Shane is a new man with his COVID antibodies. 

The guys also discuss the Rittenhouse trial and Joe Biden dropping the N bomb—again.

Snoop Dogg, Tupac, Biggie Smalls, Kanye, Ted Bundy, and Kamala Harris also make appearances.

Shane gets COVID & Shean gets worms. Before the guys die, they denounce everything bad that they’ve ever said.

Episode 62 is the existential crisis this podcast has been hurtling towards since day one. 

Is Joe Biden even real? Why does he keep using a fake oval office? Why did Kamala hire child actors to pretend to be children with dreams of NASA? What is wrong with the supply chain? Who is sabotaging Shane? What are the things that upset Shean the most? What is the purpose of this life? Who makes the best french fries?

The guys also answer questions from listeners. Topics include gentrification, Chick Fil A, gate night, dead birds, stolen pumpkins, family values, and Halloween costumes. Hint: one of the guys was once an award winning scarecrow and the other was an antique clown that creeped out all his friends… Can you guess which one? 

Listeners can send, opinions, donations and xanax to: [email protected]

Episode 61 finds the guys in Atlanta at the same time… 

Shane faces the culture shock of ordering ice coffee in Georgia and, after months of work, Shean is about ready to launch his studio. 

Topics include girls with hoop earrings, Robert Pattinson’s Batman, island weddings, turbulence, and how Shean inadvertently pranked Shane on instagram. They also get into the various interpretations of the Bible. 

Shane recounts a recent family trip to the Bronx Zoo that ended badly, and Shean has a fight with his therapist.

Civil war, Colin Powell, and Donald J. Trump also make appearances.