Yay, me! But No One Cares.

Picture this: you’ve just done something hard. Remarkable. Personally or professionally meaningful. You nailed it and you want the world to know.

You post it on your social media channels, text your friends and family and … mostly crickets. 

Now, your feelings of pride and accomplishment are replaced by disappointment and underneath that, some notes of insignificance or rejection.

Don’t worry – you’re not an egomaniac. This is a totally normal response when our level of enthusiasm isn’t matched by the world around us. 

In this episode of Real Confidence, I share my own my experience and talk about:

People We’re Allergic To:

Who brings out the worst in you? 

Is it a family member, a frenemy, your boss, a colleague or a certain personality type? 

What happens when you’re triggered by them, and your worst self takes over? 

I know what happens to me. I get angry that they got the best of me and spend too much judging my behavior, like “Oh, you idiot. Why did you do that? What did you act like that? Why did you let them get the best of you?” 

Here’s what I want you to know: 

Behaving or speaking in ways that aren’t your best doesn’t make you a bad person and it doesn’t mean you can’t do better next time. 

In this episode of Real Confidence, I talk about:

I can’t even count the number of times I’ve talked to someone who thinks – and hopes – that the best way to gain more confidence is to pursue a degree, a certification - or several of each!

But every one of these well educated individuals reported back to me that their confidence boost was temporary at best. In fact, many said that the credential REDUCED their ongoing confidence. One reason is an expectation to always be expert and perfect which is simply not possible - and inevitably exhausting. Another reason is that situational confidence or a specific competency doesn’t give you overall REAL confidence.

If this is ringing any school bells for you, you’re going to want to listen to this episode where I unpack what the teaching institutions don’t want you to know!  My confidence colleague adn personal friend, Dr. Jeanette Winters, joins me to dish the truth about degrees. She ‘s not only qualified as the Chief Coaching Officer for ACI, but she knows firsthand with more lettered credentials following her name than anyone I know!

Listen in while Jeannette and I discuss:

Dr. Jeanette Winters holds a doctorate in Public Administration from the University of Southern California, a Master’s Degree in Higher Education Administration and Bachelor of Arts from American University in Washington, D.C., and is a certified executive Coach from the Hudson Institute.  She is a NeuroLink certified practitioner and also holds a certificate in neuroscience and leadership from the NeuroLeadership Institute.  Dr. Winters is one of the founding members of the University of Pennsylvania’s Executive Chief Learning Officer Doctoral Program Advisory Board and Faculty Director for UC Berkeley Corporate Education's "Aspiring CHRO/Emerging Talent Leader" program.

​You can learn more about Jeanette at www.parrishpartners.com or connect with on her LinkedIn   linkedin.com/in/jeanettewinters

Has this ever happened to you?

You sign up for a workshop, seminar or conference that promises to help you feel more confident, productive or otherwise improve an aspect of your life or yourself. 

The speaker is inspiring, the content is lighting up your brain and you’re feeling ready to take on the world … until you’re not. 

Instead of feeling motivated to put what you’re learning into practice, you’re discouraged. You may even feel worse about your situation than before you signed up and think you suck, you’ll never get to the “after” in your story or that transformation is for “other people”. 

Why does this happen and what can we do about it? 

In this episode of Real Confidence, I take the mystery out of this phenomenon and offer practical tips on how to keep our confidence in check when these doubts creep in. 

Listen in as I talk about:  

Get ready to giggle! This week’s guest is someone who came into my life when she became an ACI certified confidence coach and every time I talk to her, I feel so blessed. 

Not only is she a stellar human being and one of the funniest people on the planet, but Brooklyn Dicent created a career as Chief Happiness Officer by bringing comedy to the workplace to make it more fun and fulfilling. 

Sounds counter-intuitive, right? Work is supposed to be serious business! But imagine just for a second how awesome it would be to deck the halls with boughs of happy? You’re welcome - I’m giving you the gift of Brooklyn!

Listen in to my conversation with Brooklyn where we talk about:

You might just walk away from this episode ready, willing and able to become the Chief Happiness Officer of your own life.

Learn more about Brooklyn at brooklynhappiness.com.

Tell me if this sounds familiar.

You send an email or text to a friend, loved one or colleague and don’t hear back. A few more days pass and nothing. They’re ghosting you – or so you think. Or maybe you do hear back, but the answer feels cold and clipped.

You then start wondering if you said or did something wrong, go back and re-read the email you sent and replay your last interactions dozens of times.

Pretty soon you’re telling yourself a story about what you might have done wrong and thinking of a way to apologize.

Not so fast.

What if it’s not about YOU at all?

In this episode of Real Confidence, I’m going to introduce you to a concept I only recently learned about myself: NET NEUTRAL and why it’s good news for all of us.

Tune in as we dig into:

How many people do you know – including yourself – who are terrified of giving presentations? We obsess over what people will think of us. We fear we might sound stupid or look unprepared in front our bosses, our peers and our direct reports. 

In this episode of Real Confidence, I talk to Karen Donaldson, a celebrity communication body language and confidence coach who also happens to be an ACI certified coach. 

Highlights from our conversation include: 

You can learn more about Karen’s work at at karendonaldsoninc.com

I hate it when... 

Whether it’s a friend who always cancels plans last minute, a partner who makes a hobby out of interrupting you or a boss who is consistently late for your 1:1s, these micro-disses don’t just annoy us, they can downright piss us off. 

What happens next? Our bodies and brains tell us something not’s right in the world and we usually harbor quiet resentment or we lash out. 

Neither is good.

But what is good is when we use pet peeves productively as signals when other people transgress our values.

In this episode of Real Confidence, I’m taking you behind the scenes into one of our most-loved training exercises. You’ll learn how to: 

Confidently supporting gender identity & change 

What’s the right way to support someone who is questioning or already in the process of changing their gender identity? 

How do you best support their family? Their friends? Your own family and friends? Maybe you also need some help to understand and know how to move ahead comfortably?

In this episode of Real Confidence, I talk to John Grosshandler about his own experience as a father of a transgender child that also led him to co-found The GenderCool Project that shares the perspectives of transgender and non-binary youth who are thriving.

Find out the right actions that can help everyone feel more confident.

Key takeaways from our conversation:

You can learn more about John, his family, and the work he does at GenderCool.org

So you’re ready for a career change…

Maybe you’ve had it with that useless boss of yours. 

Maybe you’re done languishing in a position that’s not giving back to you. 

Or maybe you’re just plain bored. 

Whatever the reason, just the thought of “changing stripes” can be a real challenge to one’s confidence. 

For most people, it opens up a host of tough questions, like: 

“What do I want more of in my life and in my career right now?” 

“What's missing?” 

“What am I really hungry for?” 

In this episode, we’re talking to Cat Breet, host of “Planet Work”, about the steps a person should have take the moment they realize they're no longer thrilled with their current occupation. Change is usually scary – but you can use that fear as fuel to find a job that you’ll wish you had sooner.

Listen in as we discuss why:

Want more Cat Breet? Check out Planet Work or visit catbreet.com.