This week on Real Talk with Rachael, I'm speaking with Max Lucado. Max is known for combining poetic storytelling and homespun humor with the heart of a pastor. His trade books all begin as sermon series at Oak Hills Church, and his sermons all start with Max asking himself this question: “What can I say on Sunday that will still matter on Monday?” He’s been dubbed “America’s Pastor” by Christianity Today, “The Best Preacher in America” by Reader’s Digest, and the “Ted Lasso of Pastors” by the Dallas Morning News. Max Lucado has penned more than 40 works of adult nonfiction, standing alongside dozens and dozens of bestselling children's books, gift books, Bible studies, commentaries, and collections. His books have been published in 56 languages worldwide and regularly appear on bestseller lists, including The New York Times, Publishers Weekly, and USA Today.

• Biblical teachings are meant to prepare, not scare. Focus on preparation, maintaining faith, and trusting God’s guidance rather than being overwhelmed by fear.
• Rather than fearing the end times or personal endings, view them as beginnings of something greater. This shift in perspective can bring peace and reduce anxiety about aging or the future.
• In moments of fear or uncertainty about the future, trust in God's character and the promise of eternal life by focusing on faith and spiritual growth rather than dwelling on fears.
• The concept of the rapture is meant to be comforting, offering hope and healing. Rather than focusing on fears of being left behind, we should see it as a moment of divine reunion and restoration.
• The rapture is described as the next major event on God's timeline, where believers will be taken up to avoid the chaos of the tribulation. This encourages believers to live in readiness, keeping faith and trust in God's plan.
• The Antichrist will emerge after the rapture, charming people and leading them during a time of chaos. The tribulation is a seven-year period of great suffering following the rapture. During this time, Satan will empower the Antichrist, but there will also be a Jewish revival led by 144,000 evangelists. This calls for believers to be prepared for difficult times while holding onto hope.
• Believers should test the teachings they receive, especially regarding end-times prophecy, to ensure they align with Scripture. If something doesn't feel right or biblical, it's okay to set it aside and trust that God will reveal truth in His timing.
• Upon death, believers enter paradise, a place of healing and peace, which is like the front porch of heaven. This encourages Christians not to fear death but to view it as a transition to eternal rest and joy.
• After the tribulation, Christ will return to reign on earth for a thousand years (the Millennium), followed by a final judgment. Believers will not face this judgment because their sins have been forgiven, reinforcing the importance of faith in Christ.
• H - Hang in there: Life's troubles are temporary compared to the eternal glory ahead. O - Overcome pessimism: Fight cynicism, especially with age, and embrace optimism. P - Pray expectantly: Focus prayers not just on personal needs but with the bold hope for Christ's return and greater things. E - Explore eternity: Keep the perspective that this life is temporary, and greater joy and fulfillment are promised in the next.

• Get a copy of Max's book What Happens Next, then share and discuss it with someone
• Become familiar with the end times timeline
• What's one thing God spoke to you in this episode? Process it by journaling or talking with a counselor

You can find a list of Christian counselors at The American Association of Christian Counselors or through Focus on the Family’s Christian Counselor Network. Join the Joy Mail community for monthly updates and exclusive resources by visiting RachelGilbert.com and clicking the freebies tab. Be sure to leave a review or share the episode on social media by tagging @RachaelJGilbert for your chance to win a copy of What Happens Next

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This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm having a conversation with Dr. Robert Paul. Robert Paul is Vice President of the Focus on the Family Marriage Institute. He is both a marriage therapist and an accomplished speaker who presents regularly at professional conferences and enrichment events both nationally and internationally. He has co-authored six books, including “The DNA of Relationships,” with Drs. Gary and Greg Smalley, and “9 Lies That Will Destroy Your Marriage: And the truths that will save it and set it free,” with Dr. Greg Smalley. He is a former professor at Evangel University where he taught in both the biblical studies and psychology departments, specializing in Marriage and Family Counseling, Human Sexuality, and the integration of faith into all areas of life. Bob and his wife, Jenni, live in Springfield, Mo., have been married for over 43 years. They have four children and seven grandchildren.

• Addressing deep-seated desires and achieving relational success offers relief and freedom.
• Recognizing and breaking the reactive cycle in relationships can empower individuals to improve their dynamics by understanding and halting predictable conflict patterns.
• Group support can provide reassurance that marital challenges are universal and not unique.
• Faith and personal transformation, as highlighted by Robert's and his wife's journey, play a crucial role in sustaining relationships.
• Utilizing available resources for counseling and self-improvement, such as those mentioned in the episode, can be immensely helpful.
• Emotions are morally neutral and serve a purpose in signaling areas needing attention; understanding this helps in better managing them.
• The care cycle emphasizes the importance of balancing personal care with nurturing the relationship, leading to healthier interactions.
• Practical advice on nurturing oneself and the relationship, including suggestions for summer activities and self-care strategies.
• Recognizing the subtleties of negative thoughts and maintaining a 'no losers policy' promotes a healthier team dynamic in marriage.
• The need to build trust and address past relationship baggage and family influences for better current interactions.

• Take the Reactive Cycle Assessment
• Catch up on previous episodes
• Create a summer "being" list

You can find a list of Christian counselors at The American Association of Christian Counselors or through Focus on the Family’s Christian Counselor Network. Join the Joy Mail community for monthly updates and exclusive resources by visiting RachelGilbert.com and clicking the freebies tab

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If you’ve been around the show long, you might remember that God asked me to lay down the Talk Therapy episodes at the beginning of 2024. However, as I was out for a run the day after my 40th birthday, He dropped a word about finishing with excellence so strongly on my heart that I knew I had to share it with you in this episode.

How do we achieve excellence? To put it into simple words, do the right thing. Excellence is the result of caring about what we do, and of putting our very best effort into what we care about.

Key Verses:

Colossian 3:22-25 (MSG), "Servants, do what you’re told by your earthly masters. And don’t just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you’ll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn’t cover up bad work."

2 Timothy 4:7, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith."

Process: 

God, what are you asking me to finish with excellence?

Resource:

If you are not yet in our JOYmail community, I want to invite you to join today. Once a month I send an email with a personal note from me, favorite finds, podcast updates, and a free therapy resource. Go to rachaelgilbert.com and click the freebies tab to join the community.

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm chatting with Stefanie and Caleb Rouse. Stefanie and Caleb are dynamic relationship mentors and digital creators passionately guiding singles and couples toward fulfilling and resilient relationships anchored in faith. With their master’s degrees in marriage and family therapy with an emphasis in theology (Stefanie) and in education (Caleb), they offer tailored courses, mentorship, and guidance. These are all rooted in prayer, backed by training in psychology and biblical counseling, encouragement from Christ, and practical strategies for love that lasts. Speaking to an engaged audience across multiple social media platforms, Stefanie and Caleb provide daily insights into the transformative power of faith across all relationship stages. Their vision is a world where we learn to love each other out of God’s abundance of love, leading to impactful and joyous relationships.

• Stefanie and Caleb wrote Wholehearted Love for those who have put up barriers attempting to avoid disappointment or getting hurt. At some point, those barriers can spread to our relationship with God and stop us from experiencing His love like we did before. But He wants us to live wholeheartedly - a life where we are fully known, deeply loved, and vibrantly alive.
• "Wholehearted" love is all-encompassing. God loves all of you - even the parts you attempt to hide.
• When we experience trauma, we can develop the sense that we're not worthy of love. The beautiful truth of Christ is we cannot earn love because it is a gift He freely gives. However, it can be difficult to accept. To move to a place where we can receive love, we must allow God's truth to "rebreak" us into a reflection of His image.
• The lies we believe about ourselves can be deep-rooted and painful. Many of these lies are based on the responses of the people around us, so if the pain becomes too much, we may choose to hide behind a mask that ultimately isolates us, rather than engaging in vulnerability that would lead to fostering healthy relationships.
• You can retrain your negative thought patterns by engaging with God's Word as a habit. Express gratitude, start small, and ask for the Holy Spirit's guidance.

Take the Reactive Cycle Assessment and share it

Connect with Stefanie: website | Instagram Connect with Caleb: website | Instagram Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm speaking with the authors of Pastors' Wives Tell All: Navigating Real Church Life with Honesty and Humor, Stephanie Gilbert, Jessica Taylor, and Jenna Allen. They are also the cohosts of the Pastors’ Wives Tell All podcast - a podcast by pastors’ wives for church leaders and anyone desiring to peek inside their proverbial glass houses. As best friends from three different churches and denominations, they are breaking down walls within the Church and crushing pastor wifey stereotypes with a little ministry therapy and a whole lot of Jesus—plus the occasional Instagram dance party!

• So often people pressure pastor's wives to meet certain expectations. When they don't, it can leave congregants feeling disappointed. The best way to not get lost in other's expectations of you is to remember who you are and who you belong to. We do not seek the approval of man, but rather to serve Christ.
• It's common for people to assume pastor's wives are too busy or that they have a large community they spend time with, but truthfully being a pastor's wife can be lonely. Support your pastor's wife by checking on her and including her in your events.
• When you're part of a pastor's family, it puts your life on display. People always seem to catch you in your worst moments and it can create disillusionment. The best solution is to create a new culture of vulnerability. Only then will walls start to break and change will happen.
• Seeking counseling is unfortunately still a taboo subject in the church. Some consider it a sign of weak faith and others believe that it's an attempt to replace God's counsel, but seeking therapy is not an either/or, it's a both/and. Faith is our foundation, but the Bible advises us to seek wise counsel. Lay down your pride and seek counseling from God and a professional therapist. What you don't talk about owns you.
• Changing the stigma around therapy in the church starts from the top. Your pastor is not a licensed counselor and there are times when it's wise to seek a licensed professional therapist.

• Do you have a negative stigma about seeing a counselor? Ask the Lord if He's directing you to see a counselor. You can find a list of Christian counselors at The American Association of Christian Counselors or through Focus on the Family's Christian Counselor Network.

Connect with Pastors' Wives Tell All: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael in talking with Jess Connolly. Jess is the author or co-author of several books, including Wild and Free, You Are the Girl for the Job, and Breaking Free from Body Shame. Along with her husband, Nick, she planted Bright City Church in Charleston, South Carolina, where they live with their four children. Jess is a woman who wants to leave her generation more in awe of God than she found it. She is passionate about family, God's Word, and seeing women take their place in the kingdom.

• We live in a defeated acceptance of exhaustion. Living right now is too much. Life is tiring and we’re accepting defeat because we think this is just how things are.
• Women often feel they need permission to rest, but we don't need permission. God invites us to rest - He even commands it. He wants rest for us.
• There will always be more to do. Ask yourself if you need to see accomplishment more than you need to feel at home in your body and soul. Do we need acceptance from others more than we need communion with God, our bodies, and our people? God integrated rest into life. We work from rest, not rest from work. We’ll never be prepared if we don’t start from a place of rest.
• Spiritual exhaustion occurs anytime we trade abundance with God for obligation. We are not obligated to do things for God. He can act independently of us. God asks us to help and join in His good works, but His love for us is not based on our actions or inaction.
• Our society has reached a point where exhaustion is normal – maybe even something to be proud of. Yes, there are life factors that affect sleep, but many of us aren’t victims of fatigue, we’re volunteers. Consider this - would God praise you for working past the point of exhaustion or would He want you to be a good steward of your body and energy?
• There are a lot of practical ways to get more sleep like turning off the TV, putting the phone down, using blue light blocking glasses, or journaling. Pay attention to your pace during the day. Did you overcommit? Are you consistently feeling rushed? Notice the cues your body is giving you and give yourself what you need.
• Don't overcomplicate the sabbath. It's simply 24 hours of enjoying God and the life He has given us. How you enjoy Him is your choice, but don’t try to get ahead.

What area of rest do you need to lean into with the Lord and reevaluate this season? What beliefs do you have about rest and do those beliefs line up with God’s Word?

Connect with Jess: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael, I'm chatting with Calvin Burns. Calvin is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Austin, Texas, who is deeply committed to guiding individuals through their challenges with eating disorders, substance abuse, and trauma. His approach is built on a foundation of empathy, understanding, and a personal dedication to each client's journey.

• Calvin struggled with suicide and addiction until God blessed him with the opportunity to walk away from it, but walking away wasn't easy. Stopping his addiction felt like a significant loss, but the truth is the addiction was blocking what God had in store for him. 
• If you have chosen addictions that help you numb the hard things you're facing, choosing to stop will come with a lot of complex feelings. It's important to anchor yourself to things that have been proven true, right, and trustworthy.
• Calvin began his career counseling individuals with alcohol addiction but soon noticed similar thought processes in people who struggled with eating disorders and body image. When we face hardships, it's easier to numb through a variety of addictions rather than process our thoughts and feelings. It can be more complicated when it comes to food addiction as you can't avoid eating like you would other substances.

• Disordered eating is a pattern of eating habits or an approach to food that is inconsistent or driven by insecurity, fear, or uncertainty. Disordered eating is the first stage of an eating disorder when those insecurities become identity.

• Behind most men struggling with eating disorders is a fear of weakness. Their value gets distorted and they believe that their strength is their worth. But it's not limited to men. Both men and women struggle because of a desire to be in control or desired, sometimes it's an attempt at emotional management, and other times it can be a struggle to ask for help.
• If there is a man in your life struggling with body image issues, be consistent and direct in addressing him about it. 
• If you are struggling with body image, it can get better. You can have a life where you enjoy yourself and your body. When you can be present in your life, your relationships will be better.
• Community and support are crucial when you're working to change your thought processes around body image. You will not always have the internal motivation you need to succeed.
• If you see that someone you love would benefit from counseling, practicing vulnerability yourself is a great invite for them to feel comfortable opening up.
• Men can feel that showing emotions is a sign of weakness, but true strength is acknowledging what’s wrong and the willingness to do something about it. Change offers growth, opportunity, and momentum.
• Suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, character produces hope, and hope doesn’t lead us to shame. Our hope in a good God that loves us and is for us is everything.

   

What suffering have you endured? Have you allowed Jesus as your high priest to embed hope in your heart in the darkest situation?

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This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm speaking with a woman who was key in releasing Image Restored, Susan McPherson. Susan is an author acquisitions editor for David C. Cook Publishing and their Esther Press imprint for women. She is dedicated to encouraging and equipping women to courageously stand strong in the truth of God’s Word through her work leading the women’s community for Esther Press. She loves Jesus, coffee, college football, and her life as a wife and mother in the Nashville, Tennessee, area.

Whether you're interested in becoming an author or not, this conversation with Susan is such an encouragement for women to pursue what God has called them to. In this episode, we discuss how authors are chosen for publishing, why being servant-minded is crucial when partnering with others, and not missing out on God's plans because we feel inadequate.

Don't miss the est.HER conference happening April 11 - 13, 2024 in Spring Hill, TN!

Your "why" has to be greater than your "what-ifs."

What’s your why? What’s your what-if? Which voice is louder, your why or your what-ifs?

Connect with Susan: website | Instagram | Facebook Connect with Rachael: website | Instagram | Facebook

This week on Real Talk with Rachael I'm chatting with a very special guest - my husband, Dr. Matthew Gilbert. Matthew Gilbert, DC, of BBC Health in Lewisville, Texas, is passionate about taking a collaborative, integrative approach to health care. He believes that patients receive the most health benefits when medical and chiropractic doctors work together to provide a comprehensive, personalized treatment plan.

Dr. Gilbert established BBC Health to integrate his expertise in chiropractic techniques with family medicine to provide patients of all ages in the Lewisville area with the best medical, chiropractic, and rehabilitation services around. He fosters a warm, caring, family environment in an easily accessible, state-of-the-art facility. Dr. Gilbert specializes in multiple chiropractic techniques and spinal rehabilitation, and he’s an expert at evaluating and treating sports-related injuries. 

When not at the office, Dr. Gilbert enjoys spending time with his wife, Rachael, and their three children, Ellie, Olivia, and Zeke.

• We all struggle with some form of comparison. In my case, I was comparing my current body to a previous version of myself when Matt offered this life-changing perspective - "Stop comparing yourself to other women, including your younger self. She’s another woman."
• Fear of aging indicates a fear of death. But when we have hope of eternal life with Jesus, there is nothing to fear. Everything else will fade away, but we can have confidence in our relationship with Christ. 
• To be able to extend unconditional love to our spouse, we must experience the unconditional love of Christ ourselves. Our ability to love is an overflow of His love for us.
• We often believe that our toxic body image only affects us, but what we believe about ourselves greatly affects our marriages, families, sex life, and relationships. 
• Husbands are called to tend to their wives as a gardener would tend to his garden. You cannot beat a plant into growth, you must provide a supportive environment for it to flourish. 

Break the comparison yardstick with the 3 Rs: recognize, repent, and rejoice

BBC Health Image Restored

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This week on Real Talk with Rachael, I'm speaking with mother and daughter, Debbie Morris and Elaine Fisher. Debbie Morris is an author and pastor in Dallas-Fort Worth, Texas, who delights in helping women understand who they are in God so they can discover their destinies and experience victory in life. Elaine Fisher is an author, speaker, and pastor in Houston, Texas, and is passionate about sharing authentic revelation from the lessons she is learning as God writes her story of redemption and freedom.

• Debbie and Elaine wrote The Good Mess to give an honest account of God's goodness amid a messy life. Elaine experienced her own "prodigal son" story by confessing her struggles and sins to God and a trusted community that helped her find freedom. 
• If you've walked away from God, He is still waiting to welcome you home. Not just that, He will meet you where you are and walk with you every step. If you allow Him, God will enable you to dig into your mess and find encouragement. 
• Debbie and Elaine's relationship changed when Elaine was able to authentically treat the friendship with respect and honor and when Debbie was able to move from the role of instructor to counselor. 
• When we feel God is calling us to something, we often have expectations of what that should look like. But God honors those who trust Him, regardless of the outcome. 
• If you are a wife who is experiencing a messy marriage, better days are coming. Finding ways to bond is difficult and not all days will be good. Remember to guard your words and influences on the hard days and sow seeds of joy and life into your marriage. 
• In the moments when things feel abnormal ("irregular heartbeats") you can choose to let things go or evaluate further what is happening. Do you notice these moments? And if you do, do you care enough to love the other person back to health? 
• God is good and no matter what mess you're in, He can and wants to redeem it. He has a purpose and plan for the mess if you'll allow Him to use it. 
• When you encounter God, your situation may not change but your perspective will. He will give you the encouragement you need to thrive.

What messes can you rejoice in today?

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