Renew You with Quinn Kelly

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In today’s episode, Quin discusses the unhealthy pattern of trying to express yourself and your needs toward someone you love and feeling like that person consistently receives your needs as an attack on them.   

In response to that, Quinn teaches listeners how to break that pattern by: 

     1. Understanding the difference between attack versus communication
2. Disarming statements to use to help a discussion go well
3. Tips by Dr. John Gottman for creating soft start up in a conversation 

Mind Renewal Tip:
Focusing on what you need someone to do versus what someone did wrong disarms a person’s defensiveness.  

Scripture Renewal Tip:
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. Proverbs 12:15
7 Ways to Soften Start Up by John Gottman 

     1. Take responsibility
2. Complain without blame
3. Start with “I” Statements
4. Describe what is happening
5. Be polite
6. Be Appreciative
7. Don’t let things build up 

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Raising teenagers is hard on its own, but guiding teenagers in dating relationships can be harder than expected! As parents, we want to guide them but we often can find ourselves unsure as to how to keep them healthy, happy and protected when dating.  

In today’s episode, Quinn empowers parents to: 

     1. Draw a boundary with their level of comfort in dating based on age and maturity
2. Have guidelines to teach kids for healthy relationships
3. See one hidden benefit that comes from teen relationships 

Mind Renewal Tip:

Guiding our kids through dating relationships while they are in our home is a great way to prepare them for healthy relationships when they one day leave the home! 

Scripture Renewal Tip:
Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. 1 Timothy 4:12 

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Parenting teenagers is fun and challenging all at once. You get to enjoy them being more independent but also have to navigate how to let them be independent while still guiding them in making good choices that they want to make on their own.  

In today’s episode, Quinn encourages listeners to stay sane while parenting teens by: 

1. Teaching parents how to not take it personally when your teen doesn’t enjoy you
2. Remembering the importance of protecting them digitally but giving them real life freedom
3. Giving grace when they make mistakes because they will 

Mind Renewal Tip:
Even mature teens are immature! There brains aren’t fully developed so don’t be surprised when they show it.  

Scripture Renewal Tip:
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 

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It’s that time of year when division can easily seem all around us. Politics, holidays, everyday life. It can feel overwhelming to disagree with people you love, and it can feel angering to not know how to handle it! 

In today’s episode, Quinn shares her best tips in helping you create understanding and find peace when the world tells you to fight by: 

     1. Giving you one overarching principle to guide your conversations.
2. Offering a mindset to start a heated conversation with.
3. Teaching a tip to deescalate yourself when feeling triggered with anger.  

Mind Renewal Tip:
Being angry at someone that doesn’t agree with you is about as pointless as brushing your teeth with Oreos in your mouth. Nothing productive comes from it but frustration.  

Scripture Renewal Tip:
Whoever is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick tempered displays folly. Proverbs 14:29

Resources:
https://www.amazon.com/Anxious-Generation-Rewiring-Childhood-Epidemic/dp/0593655036

https://www.amazon.com/Dopamine-Nation-Finding-Balance-Indulgence/dp/B08LQZCGDJ/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1CUP9CCSGL4EX&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.zHSDmXDw0zRM-BzS0qqNoX-lkMEA7NV5Au2BUwmgK61NBpoo3KzOBed1kr1DzaqWoJCvsXOMrWLZ_R_Kz6w_6g.3o2Rwxj3NWto_KMX5SeVvjWsa9JySVsvor0TgqLVeIQ&dib_tag=se&keywords=ana+lemke&qid=1727723852&s=books&sprefix=ana+lemke%2Cstripbooks%2C193&sr=1-1

Correction:
In the episode, Quinn mistaken says the term omnifinality instead of equipfinality.

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God desires to use each and every one of us for his glory and for our good. But our minds often lie to us and tell us we aren’t worthy of taking steps to fulfill our passions. Today’s episode is all about breaking through those lies to honor God’s call in our lives. 

In the episode, Quinn encourages listeners: 

     1. Identify what they feel called to
2. Understand the lies or the barriers keeping them stuck and away from that call
3. Be bold in taking the first step to making that dream for their life a reality  

Mind Renewal Tip:
Most anyone you talk to that has done something great has had to overcome imposter syndrome. Feeling like they aren’t really the right one for the job. But here’s the truth, no one feels like they are the right one for the job until they start the work and see what God does in and through their obedience.  

Scripture Renewal Tip:
As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Ephesians 4:1  

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In today’s episode, Quinn teaches listeners about dopamine, a hormone and neurotransmitter related to pleasure and reward that is present in addiction. In the episode, Quinn asks listeners to examine habits in their life that follow addictive patterns of excess including overconsumption of social media, drinking, sugar or even the news and consider whether a dopamine fast might be something they would benefit from. 

In the episode, Quinn teaches listeners how: 

     1. Our brain is hardwired to keep us in a homeostatic state between pain and pleasure
2. Long term dopamine exposure affects the brain
3. Incorporate habits that reset your dopamine baseline 

Mind Renewal Tip:

Every pleasure has a price. The ultimate end result in pursuing dopamine is to feel worse than when you started. –Ana Lemke 

We are hardwired to seek pleasure. But the constant seeking of pleasure can lead us to feeling less pleasure by becoming addicted to patterns. 

Scripture Renewal Tip:

"The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever." 1 John 2:17 

Resources: 

Dopamine Nation
https://a.co/d/ja3EkUW 

Ice Bath Article:
https://www.hubermanlab.com/newsletter/the-science-and-use-of-cold-exposure-for-health-and-performance

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There seems to be a trend in society that when someone hurts us, we block them not only on our phone and social media but out of our heart as well. In today’s episode, Quinn discusses that while this trend may feel easier for us, it is not always healthy.  

After listening today, listeners will understand: 

     1. Different types of boundaries that guard the heart
2. Ways to gauge is someone is trustworthy
3. How to view that person in a Godly way before seeking repair 

Mind Renewal Tip:
We often feels cut off protects us when in reality, it often hurts us. 

Scripture Renewal Tip:

I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught; avoid them. Romans 16:17 

Resources:
Old Testament Article:
https://petergoeman.com/what-does-it-mean-cut-off-bible/

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A recent study by the CDC released on February 13, 2022 found that teen girls are struggling with their mental health and thoughts of self-harm significantly more than a decade ago. And while there are many factors that can be contributing to this decline including negative effects of continual exposure to social media and longstanding repercussions of isolation from pandemic, it is important for parents to take a proactive approach to strengthen their daughter(s)’ mental health.  

In this episode, Quinn offers parents an understanding of: 

     1. What the recent research shows as to the decline of mental health of girls
2. The power of connection in improving mental health
3. Practical ways parents can protect their daughters 

Mind Renewal Tip:
The more we focus outward on others, the smaller our individual problems seem 

Scripture Renewal Tip:  

"No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, declares the Lord." Isaiah 54:17 

Link to Study: https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/data/yrbs/yrbs_data_summary_and_trends.htm 

Declaration of Identity:
I am loved.
I am here for a reason.
I was created with unique purpose.
I am beautifully created. And I will see myself that way.
I am more than my emotions. I am more than my mistakes.
My story is bigger than today.
My life is a part of God’s bigger plan.
I have a future and a hope.
I will live with that in mind. J 

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Today is Quinn’s 41st birthday and in honor of that, she wanted to share four phrases (plus one bonus phase) that have changed her life for the better. These phrases are one that are easy to remember and easy to apply if you see their importance. 

After listening today, Quinn teaches listeners: 

     1. How too big of goals often stop us from making goals at all.
2. Why living for others keeps you from living for God
3. The importance of not leaving important people in your life guessing if you care 

Mind Renewal Tip:
Often once we get started with a small something, the big something that we truly desire ot accomplish seems tangible to us! 

Scripture Renewal Tip:
Because He bends down and listens, I will pray as long as I have breath.
Psalm 116:2 

Quinn’s Phrases: 

     1. Something is better than nothing
2. You cannot control what they think of you. So you should focus on what God thinks of you instead.
3. If they’re important, they should know.
4. These are the days.
5. Bonus +1 -- Life with God (even when you’re mad and confused) is better than life without God.