RealPositiveGirl - Weekly Encouragement & Mental Health

Any time you have questioned why things are the way they are, the answer is usually because you are tolerating it. You are doing nothing to contribute to stopping it. It's true.  So if you'd like to learn more about how we are allowing things to happen & tips on how to STOP doing it, this episode is for you.

Show Notes:

No one else, in the world, is going to prioritze you taking time away from all the things you do on a daily basis to take care of yourself. To administer some self-care or down time or me time, whatever you prefer to categorize it as. I am telling you this because we often allow ourselves to tolerate what we don’t want BECAUSE we don’t stop to take care of ourselves. 

And I want you to realize that it’s a REAL responsibility that must be done because no one else REALLY cares if you make it a priority in your life or not. 

The correlation is there. If you tolerate whatever people throw at you, it’s often due to a lack of, ‘take care of me time,’ because you haven’t spent a moment away from your everyday life to evaluate if it’s working for you still. 

So please, let’s make it an ACTUAL thing we HAVE to do for ourselves. I suggest the cadence to be at least monthly, some will prefer weekly, that’s up to you. Just make it happen. 

Now, let’s chat tolerating other people’s crap.

When we decide to tolerate what is happening around us, we are allowing those actions & behaviors to be enabled. You might think that tolerating what’s happening is the best response because then you don’t have to deal with any drama or involvement. If this is your reason, I bet you’ve never thought about how all actions or lack of actions, have consequences. If you do nothing, it continues to happen. If you stand up to it, you could possibly create positive change. And I know the other classic reason we tolerate things is because we don’t BELIEVE we could do anything to create any sort of change. But it’s important to realize that whether the change happens or not, you STILL did something if you stood up to it and that matters.

Something else that can happen when we tolerate what is happening around us is having to sometimes endure emotional & physical pain within relationships. And this isn’t just romantic relationships, but all types of relationships. The longer we allow whatever is happening to go on, the harder it will be to turn things around.

And here is where I mention how important it is to not tolerate our own behaviors & actions that we know we shouldn’t be doing. By tolerating behavior that isn’t beneficial to us & others and possibly hurts others around us, we get in the way of our own personal growth & ability to reach our fullest potential. 

That brings me to what we can do to help us not tolerate what’s happening around us and to us. I want to give you 6 tips on How to Stop Tolerating Everything:

1. Create & Enforce Personal Boundaries. 
2. Practice Self-Awareness.
3. Reflect on Past Instances of Tolerance.
4. Be Cognizant of Who You Spend Time With.
5. Use the Phrase, “You Get What You Tolerate,” as a Mantra.

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]

Instead of allowing ourselves to keep obsessing over something that has happened & takes up so much space & emotions in our minds, it's best to find a way to stop it in its tracks & move on from it until any real action can be taken. I have 5 questions to ask yourself that will help with this.

Show Notes:
I struggled to come up with a topic that I was in the mood to really chat about until I reflected on what was bothering me so much and suddenly it came to me: Let’s chat about how to STOP obsessing over something that happened. Especially since you can’t change the outcome.

Without giving away ALL the details, I will tell you what happened. And because I KNOW many of us have been in this predicament.

This evening I received a notification from someone I work with (yes, I know, I should have had my notifications off for work messages, but normally it’s NOT an issue. We gotta set boundaries now.) basically accusing me of doing something I didn’t do. And the problem is they are kind of management, so it’s complicated. And like I already hinted towards, I should NOT have responded. Don’t worry, my husband ALREADY gave me a lecture about that.

So, they message me, in a group chat with other leadership, and state that I have been making mistakes in regards to travel arrangements and have booked them in a middle seat 2 times in a row now. And I actually just took a break from writing this episode to gather evidence to the contrary of these claims. Having my name dragged through the mud is one thing I ABSOLUTELY cannot stand. I gathered all the evidence I could, sent it to the appropriate people and now feel like I can let it go. But only time will tell.

And that’s the problem, right? I THINK I will be able to let it go after I used a bunch of my time to prove someone else wrong, but I will probably have to deal with it tomorrow because there will be the review of my reciepts and how this person feels about me proving them incorrect.

The healthier choice would have been to shift my mindset away from it and deal with it tomorrow, at work. But instead, I wasted the last few hours of my weekend feeling angry, upset & irritated about something I know I can prove isn’t true. I let it get to me and I paid the cost in lost time.

And maybe for you it’s obsessively thinking about a fight you had with a loved one, a breakup, a betrayal or any other worry or fear. Regardless of what it is, it’s taking up more space in your brain than it needs to & that’s not what we need or want. Let’s get into why we are here today and chat about how we can interrupt these obsessive thoughts & not let these overcome us.

Here are 5 Questions to Ask Yourself to Shift Your Mindset Away From Obsessing Over Something:

1. Why Am I Allowing This Thought to Control My Mind?
2. Is this Thought Serving Me in a Positive Way?
3. Can I See this Situation from a Different Perspective that Would Be Helpful?
4. Is There Anything I Can Actually Do to Help the Situation?
5. What Am I Grateful for Right Now?

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]

Anger isn't a bad thing if it's expressed in a healthy way. But if we don't know the best way to manage it, we can allow it to control us instead of us keeping it in control. Here are 5 tips on How to Manage Your Anger.

Show Notes:

Sometimes it feels like anger can just sneak up on us. We don’t even see it coming and then BAM! We are feeling angry. And whether that’s because something triggered us or a situation escalated further than we expected or it’s the reaction we had on deck when something happened out of nowhere. We find ourselves in anger & might not know what to do, so we react and it usually doesn’t turn out well.

In our last episode, we spoke about how you can determine where your anger comes from. If you haven’t listened to that episode, I highly suggest you do so because it’s extremely helpful to know where your anger is stemming from, why it shows up the way it does & to know how you can be aware of when it’s starting to creep up.

Today, I am going to share with you some tips on how we can manage our anger. If you find that you have more regrettable moments than not when you get angry, this will help you. If you don’t like the feeling of your anger rising as high as it will go, these tips can be helpful in bringing it down before it gets that high. It will also allow you to experience your anger at it’s highest height, but it won’t be as detrimental as it’s been in the past or would be when it’s in control, not you.

Before we get into it, I want to make sure I express to you how important it is to know that anger isn’t a bad thing. It’s a really great thing, actually. Anger can teach us what really bothers us and where our own personal boundaries lie and how much our emotions at the highest intensity can affect our thoughts & behaviors and what we might need to work on in regard to communication skills. There are other things that our anger can teach us, but those are the ones I wanted to highlight. 

Anger is more helpful than you think. There is a negative connotation on anger because it’s usually coupled with pain or violence because it’s not expressed in a healthy way, but it’s more than that. Anger can be a signal that something is wrong with your current experience or situation and you should figure out what can be done to change it. Anger can also be motivating for you to follow through with what you’ve been putting off or to finally make a change you’ve been avoiding. Remember, ANYTHING can be seen as bad if you only see one side of it.

Here are 5 tips on How to Manage Your Anger:

1. Define Your Reason for Being Angry 
2. Ask Yourself If Reacting the Way You Want to Will Get You What You Want 
3. Take a Break & Find a Quick Release for Your Anger Energy 
4. Be Empathetic to the Person/Situation 
5. Communicate Assertively, Not Aggressively

Thank you so much for listening, downloading & sharing!! I appreciate you!

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]

Learning how to deal with your anger is really important, but you'll be able to manage it better if you know where it originates from. Here are 5 tips on how to determine where your anger comes from.

Show Notes:

Looking back, I think a lot of my anger stemmed from not being truly seen by others, not getting enough attention from my parents, feeling like I couldn’t ask for help and failing to hit my own (and others) unrealistic expectations. And I’m not saying I am directly BLAMING these things on why I experienced anger, but it definitely contributed.

I’m not sure what spurred the desire to talk about anger this week, but I know it’s an important topic. A lot of us have anger we don’t understand or feel like we don’t know how to control, so I know it’s always helpful to discuss it & help ourselves be more in tune with our own anger. This week, I plan to talk about how we determine where our anger comes from & what we can do to manage our anger. Today we will start with the former.

As with most things, the journey to discovering where a mindset and/or behavior comes from can take time. If you’re new to self-awareness, it could take a lot longer than you want because you have to figure out the best way for you to become more cognizant of what you’re thinking & doing & then spending time better understanding it. But even if you’re not new to being self-aware, if it’s a subject you haven’t breached before, you might need more time to dig into it & allow yourself to be honest about it all. Just know that you can take your time.

When it comes to understanding where your anger comes from, you’re going to need to look into multiple sources. And I’ll share those tips on what to do for that discovery, but first I want to mention that sometimes we can see the need for anger in our lives and might use these reasons as excuses to be angry more than we might need to be.

Sometimes anger can be seen as necessary when setting boundaries with others & asserting ourselves when expressing our needs. I think that if we aren’t aware of how we’re acting, this can take on an aggressive tone. Something to be aware of. Classically, some opt to use anger as an expression to release pent-up emotions & be free from emotional burdens. As long as you’re doing this in a way that doesn’t hurt someone else, you should be good. The one I find most interesting is how anger can be used to validate ourselves when we feel wronged or mistreated. This can be really helpful to know if we typically hide away our emotions or feel we can’t express anger. You know I believe we should acknowledge & accept all emotions, but that doesn’t mean taking any actions with that anger.

Here are 5 tips on How to Determine Where Your Anger Comes From:

1. Identify Your Triggers. 
2. Reflect on Childhood Experiences. 
3. Use Mindfulness as a Base Line. 
4. Determine How Often You Project or Blame Others. 
5. Ask Yourself What You’re Afraid of.

Thank you for listening, downloading & sharing the show! You rock!!

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]

Learning how to manage your insecurities will limit distractions from self-growth, getting in the way of changes we are making, and accomplishing your goals, especially goals that require stepping outside of your comfort zone. We got 5 tips on how to manage your insecurities.

Show Notes:
It takes a lot of honesty to admit to yourself what you are struggling with and what needs to change. But once you do this, you will be able to move forward with better understanding on why you are struggling and what needs to happen next for change.

And I don’t want you to think that it’s super easy to start being honest with yourself. It can take some time if we are used to brushing things under the rug or downplaying anything good or bad that happens or we have a lot of pride & ego issues getting in our way. But it’s worth the effort to just start admitting to yourself what is not working, what is really getting in your way & what is only around because of vanity reasons. Stop chaining yourself to pain by clinging to all these issues.

The episode that released right before this was all about how you can know you’re insecure & struggling with insecurities. If you haven’t listened to that episode, I would highly recommend it to know the why before the how. Which leads me to what we are going to talk about today, the details on HOW we can manage our insecurities. 

And again, the reason we are looking to manage our insecurities is to no longer allow these things to control us & get in our way of accomplishing our goals, moving forward with change and live your life without as many distractions to talk you out of stepping outside your comfort zone & achieving self-growth.

Here are 5 tips on How to Manage Your Insecurities:

1. Accept & Confront Your Insecurities. (Where is your insecurity coming from? Comparison/Past Criticisms/Negative Self-Image/Find the root cause & confront the core issue.)
2. Forgive & Let Go of Past Experiences.
3. Challenge Negative Thoughts & Practice Self-Approval. (Stop yourself in your tracks when you start thinking negatively about yourself or other things. Also, learn to let go of needing validation from others.)
4. Remember Comparison Will Be the Death of You. (You get nothing from comparison. Some say it can help with motivation of what you want, but you having the thing someone else has WILL look different then THEM having it. We can’t just copy & paste. It doesn’t work like that.)
5. Adopt a Growth Mindset. (A fixed mindset will tell you that you can’t get better or be different than you naturally are. A fixed mindset is a deadend. This is why a growth mindset is so important because it tells you to keep trying, to KNOW you can change and learn new things & be different than you are if you CHOOSE to be.)

Thank you so much for listening, downloading & sharing the show!! 
You are supporting me so well by doing these things!
Thank you!!

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]

Sometimes we don't even realize we are experiencing insecurities because what we are going through feels so normal or not a big deal. But the sooner we determine what we are struggling with, the sooner we can take action to manage it. Here are 5 signs you're struggling with feeling insecure.

Show Notes:
Being insecure was like a past time for me growing up. We all know I was a hard core people pleaser, but beyond that, I also believed more of what people told me about myself than what I thought of myself. I lacked confidence & self-esteem, so there were very few opportunities for me to feel good about something I did or could do. 

Even now, I do feel insecure about creating something or doing something that I think could be helpful that wasn’t requested. But I try to remember that even if one person doesn’t find something helpful doesn’t mean someone else won’t. And when I am feeling unworthy or less than or like I don’t matter, I try to examine what is contributing to feeling this way and whether or not this is a true insecurity or something that is fleeting.

When you are dealing with a true insecurity, you feel doubt, fear or uncertainty about yourself. And having these feelings from time to time is no big deal and totally normal. But if you find it becoming something that weighs heavily on you and you think about it often or is getting in the way of you actually doing things and stepping out of your comfort zone, you’re gonna need to address it so it doesn’t cause ongoing issues for you.

You are probably struggling with being insecure if you:

• Feel inadequate
• Often feel jealous or envious
• Are highly critical of yourself
• Fear rejection
• Are a people pleaser and/or perfectionist

Insecurities can become something harder to manage when it’s combined with comparison. We can feel insecure about the way we sing because we have been told it’s not the best or it doesn’t sound the same as others. But when you couple that with thinking it NEEDS to be the same as someone else’s, you are really rooting in the insecurity. 

If you’re unsure how to tell if you struggle with being insecure or not, then you’re in luck because it’s exactly what we are going to talk about today. This episode will share tips on how to determine if you’re struggling with insecurity and the next episode at the end of the week will go over how to manage your insecurities so those don’t end up controlling you.

Here are 5 signs of someone struggling with being insecure:

1. You can’t feel good about yourself until you brag about yourself to others.
2. You often undercut other people’s opinions. 
3. You allow past experiences to dictate future ones.
4. You’re defensive. 
5. You’re negative about what you’re doing and/or what others are doing.

Thank you SO MUCH for listening, downloading & sharing the show! 
I appreciate every single one of you!

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]

These tips may not be wildly different than ones I would give in a generalized chat about anxiety, but it's all about the perspective that we see our struggles through & how these tips can be shifted to serve us in that way. Here are 5 tips for managing anxiety as a mom.

Show Notes:
I sometimes blame myself for how badly my kiddo deals with anxiety because I truly believe she learned it from me. I did my best to put on a brave face anytime I was feeling anxious or heavy-hearted in some way, but I’m sure she still FELT it. Kids are SO GOOD at seeing right through you & finding the truth if you aren’t careful. 

There were, for sure, times I just let my stress, frustrations and anxieties out for her to witness. And after any outburst that wasn’t appropriate or the best choice, I also let her know afterward. Especially if that meant apologizing to her because I may have chosen to react instead of respond and took it out on her.

s was such a good opportunity to teach real-life lessons & have honest conversations about how people act & how we should deal with that. I am very much a ‘let’s learn in the moment’ kind of mom. More often than not I am talking about a lesson that can be learned in that experience. And that was really helpful when I would let an anxious moment spin out of control because I was able to show our kiddo how to recover.

I’m not saying you should just let it all out & use it as an excuse to teach your kiddo something. It can’t be like that all the time. We need to figure out what will help us manage our anxiety, even under the weight of everything we do as a mom. 

If you missed it, the episode that was released right before this one is all about some common causes of anxiety for moms. I talk about financial pressures, work-life balance, things like that because it’s important to draw awareness to what’s contributing to our struggles to better understand it & be able to manage it.

Today I want to share some tips for actually managing anxiety as a mom. These tips aren’t wildly different from what I would share with anyone else struggling with anxiety, but it’s helpful to see your struggle through both your personal perspective and a wider, more generalized perspective.

Here are 5 Tips for Managing Anxiety as a Mom:

1. Prioritize Everything You Can.
2. Work On Being More Present.
3. Set Boundaries to Limit Overwhelming Commitments.
4. Practice Self-Compassion.
5. Make Having a Support System a Top Priority. 

Thank you so much for sharing the show & being dedicated to listening & downloading. I appreciate it so much & am really grateful for you all.

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]

Anxiety can be a struggle for anyone, but it can be helpful to drill down on why anxiety is a struggle by seeing it from your specific perspective. This is why we have 5 possible reasons why moms struggle with anxiety & seeing it from the motherhood experience.

Show Notes:
I had already struggled with anxiety before becoming a mother. It was something I dealt with because of my need to fit in & measure up to what everyone else was doing. But when I became a mother, my anxiety did increase a considerable amount.

It was more induced by not knowing exactly how to be the best mom I could be to this little being that joined us in the world. I had studied child psychology in school because I was on pace to become a child psychologist, but just because you read all the books and even have time watching & bringing up other kids doesn’t mean you will know exactly what to do with your own kid.

So for me, my pre-existing anxiety turned into something greater and a little harder to deal with.

Anxiety is a big deal for anyone that struggles with it. There is no categorized group of people that struggle more or less, it’s all just in a different way. But I think it’s important to speak on those differences and how anxiety can become a struggle, depending on the perspective you’re coming from in that season of life. And taking a look at anxiety through the motherhood perspective can be helpful in understanding where it could be coming from & how it’s still sticking around and/or getting worse.

I honestly can’t tell you how the idea of speaking on having anxiety as mom came to be, but I remember sitting on the couch in my living room and it popped into my head and I immediately started researching it. And as I was thinking over it more and more, I realized it could be a really great episode to speak on and better understand why moms struggle with anxiety and what to do to manage it.

Today, I am going to talk about some of the reasons moms can struggle with anxiety. The next episode will be about how to manage anxiety as a mom.

Let’s get into 5 possible reasons moms struggle with anxiety:

1. Financial Pressures 
2. Social Expectations of Being a Mom
3. Previous Trauma/Experiences
4. Work-Life Balance 
5. Lack of Sleep

Thank you SO MUCH for listen, downloading & sharing!
I also appreciate any way you decide to support me, whether financially or socially by sharing the show with others.
You're all amazing!

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]

Instead of relying on others to tell you what you should do & being addicted to external validation, it's best to develop trust in yourself to know what decision is best for you, even if it turns out to not be exactly correct. Here are 5 tips on how to start trusting yourself.

Show Notes:
I used to have this bad habit of asking so many people for advice to figure out what I should do in life. 

And yes, it was definitely a symptom of being a people pleaser, but it was also a lack of confidence and trust in myself. It’s also an offshoot of external validation. And if you want to learn more about letting go of the need for external validation, listen to episode 367 of the podcast because it’s the perfect jumpstart for that.

When you rely on others to validate you, you learn to not trust yourself. You learn to dismiss your own gut feelings and trust whatever other people say because it feels safer, but also feels more reliable coming from people you allow to pass judgment on you & who’s opinions you allow to control you.

Yes, I know, that might have come off a little strong, but let’s not pretend we aren’t leaning in the wrong direction sometimes. Regardless, let’s acknowledge what is true and move forward in doing what is necessary to become our best selves in this moment.

You might think it’s easier to just rely on others to lead you in the right direction & trust in what THEY say you should do. And you’re right, it IS easier, but it also causes issues at the same time. The more you rely on others to decide things for you, the less you’ll rely on yourself to make decisions and the harder it will be to turn that train around. To get back to trusting yourself. To return to a mindset that is ok with taking a chance on your own gut/instinct and accepting the possibility that a mistake or failure might occur. 

Learning to trust yourself is integral to making decisions easier, building up your own confidence and even being trusted more by others. When others see the trust you have in yourself, it exudes confidence and belief in what you’re doing. And since you’re not questioning it, they don’t feel the need to question it. 

Self-trust also leads to stronger self-understanding. We can better understand the reasons we do certain things and become more honest with ourselves in what we’re struggling with & what needs to happen next to become better. Just as someone else decides to be vulnerable & transparent with you about something, leading to more trust because they are being authentic, it works the same way with ourselves. It’s the self-awareness that starts to question WHY we are fearful and discover what insecurities are getting in our way that will help us grow and start to trust ourselves more.

Here are 5 tips on How to Start Trusting Yourself:

1. Abide by Your Personal Boundaries. 
2. Validate Your Own Feelings & Needs. 
3. Let Go of What/Who Doesn’t Serve You or Harms You. 
4. Reflect on Times You Have Trusted Yourself. 
5. Learn from Mistakes & Failures. 

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]

There is a difference between NEEDING to be liked & wanting to be likable. One is based on wanting to develop relationships & the other is more based in people pleasing behaviors & mindsets. Here are 6 tips on how to become more likable.

Show Notes:
Let me start by saying that I don’t mean this in a people pleaser-y type of way AT ALL. There is a difference between needing to be liked and wanting to be likable.

When you NEED to be liked, you are desperate and really doing anything you can to convince and manipulate others into liking you, even if it’s just surface level. But when you want to be likable, you want to be someone that is approachable and open and truly being themselves. Being likable means you aren’t trying to be someone you aren’t. When you need to be liked, you will become whoever you need to be to get the likes. Similar to people pleasing.

It’s often not until someone else brings it up that we realize we are not as likable as we think. It can also happen when we start to realize the people we try to be friends with don’t really reciprocate those feelings. This isn’t ALWAYS true, but sometimes it is.

We might not be as likable as we think. This can happen when we have managed to gain friends and/or partners as we currently are and don’t see anything that needs changing. Or we don’t consider any behavior and/or mindset changes we have had recently and can’t see that we are different than we were when we created connections easier.

One of the biggest things I know I struggle with is Resting B Face. It’s that face where you look stone cold unapproachable and like if you do approach, it won’t be a fun time. And usually it’s not because you are angry or mad or whatever. For me, I usually look this way because I’m thinking deeply or unsure of what is going to happen next, so I don’t really have any emotion.

Regardless of what the reason is for you feeling or knowing you’re not likable, it’s something most people want to adjust so they can have relationships and live a fuller life with connections and people in it.

Here are 6 tips on how to become more likable:

1. Be interested in others genuinely. 
2. Be your authentic self.
3. Don’t be attention-seeking. 
4. Be caring to others.
5. Be confident in yourself. 
6. Don’t always be a downer. 

I really appreciate everyone for listening, downloading & sharing the show. Thank you!

Support the show

Watch the Video Version of RPG: https://www.youtube.com/@realpositivegirl/podcasts
Buy the Planner on AMAZON!: https://amzn.to/3WwthT2
Visit me on Instagram or TikTok: @sabrinajoyperozzo
Email Me: [email protected]