My “Light Into Dark Places” series is to pay tribute to the speakers who carried light into my very, very dark years. Many don't resonate with me today, which is fine. I don't need them today like I did 13 years ago. In gratitude, I want to share their stories with you. 

Ear H was the most important 12 Step speaker during my 'dark night of the soul' years. He understood my feelings of loneliness, hopelessness, spiritual isolation, and rage. Every time I felt too broken for recovery, I would listen to Earl. Sometimes I just listened to him all day long because that's what I needed to do to get through another day. My 'dark night of the soul' years really taught me what "willing to go to any lengths'' looked like in my day-to-day life.

I want to pay tribute to the speakers who carried light into my very, very dark years of 2006-2009 (trauma memories, health crisis, break up, laid off, bankruptcy, and so much more).

Shortly after moving to Portland in 2009, I was sitting in a meeting and I had the thought, "I can't believe I made it." With the thought came a deep knowing that I did not walk through those years; I was carried. I was carried by every meeting, every share, every speaker, every healthcare professional, every fellow, every friend, and every kind neighbor.

I want to share the speaker pitches that I listened to over and over during that time. There are many that don't resonate with me today and that's okay. I don't need them today; I needed them 13 years into recovery wondering looking at the decimated rubble of my life and wondering where the *fuck* was my "happy destiny." 

We're back! Finally, after a couple of graduations, two weddings and a funeral (not joking), we finally had the time and energy to renew our tradition study. I'm so glad we did because we had a great discussion on Tradition Nine!

“Alcoholics Anonymous, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve."

AA Tradition Nine

AA Tradition Nine Speaker

AA Traditions Illustrated Pamphlet

Friendly Circle Berlin hosted a wonderful Christmas marathon and I was invited as a member of OA. Several members of other programs introduced themselves as wanting to learn more about OA. Consequently, I tossed my plan to cover Steps 1-3, and just let words fall out of my mouth. 

Here is Stacy's wonderful talk on her recovery journey from "the cult of perfectionism" with exhaustion as status symbol and into deprogramming task-oriented living to finally coming home to Sacred Rest. The original was presented at Salt & Light Lutheran Church.

Check out More Human for more information on Stacy's work.

This is a wonderful workshop lead by Alexandra M. She tells her story and then does a guided meditation. This recording includes the questions and comments at the end.

You can find the full recording (with intro readings) and workshop outline on my Google Drive.

You can find other ACA World Convention workshops here.

Sabrina was a speaker for a treatment facility and I recorded her pitch by setting my phone next to my computer. I had to excise every voice that wasn't hers or mine, so the transitions are abrupt and clunky. But who cares?! It's a great talk and very inspiring. 

Sabrina introduced our local recovery community to the nonprofit organization, Go The Distance. GTD partners with local rehabilitation centers advocating for sobriety through fitness and unity.

Sadly, this interview did not record well and I don't know how to fix it. Leanne's voice is too low and mine is too loud. I hope you can make your way through it because it was a great conversation. 

Instructions on how to write a FU letter.