Refreshing Leadership

This is the final episode of Season 1, which amazingly reached 20 episodes and over 1140 downloads (today)... But wait. Here's an episode with a difference.

In preparing this episode I wondered who, out there, has listened to each episode 2-3 times? Who knows the world of coaching and personal development inside out? Who sees audio the way other people see images? Who can grill me on MY experience of bringing this podcast to life… answer... Rob, the magician behind the scenes at Moving Beyond Trauma, the Podcast Producer. 

The thing you don’t maybe know about Rob, is that he is Way More Than a Producer! His advice and support has helped me make the idea into technical reality… and this is where the magic lies.

You see, with Rob I could forget the tech and get on with the creative idea behind the show, which is to give people permission to have conversations about Moving Beyond Trauma, and to help people learn more about what it is, and is not.  This episode is our end of season chat, reflection, and review. Join us behind the scenes.

My summary at the end of season 1 is this:

You’d almost say that trauma needs a re-brand as it carries that much stigma of brokenness, mental injury, failure, fear, pain, that you really want to call it something else. 

But in my work, I go the other way. On purpose. I seek to educate and inform about what trauma is and is not, how it can affect anyone around you (7/10 adults according to the WHO).

Trauma is NOT what happened to you or your people. Yes, diagnostic tools often focus on the event as this stems from the medical model (hurt your back? First thing doctor asks is “what happened”).

Trauma is the REACTION inside of you that happened as a result. The event or experience could have been years ago, or 5 mins ago, and it will have shaken your world to the core. It might have happened gradually (chronic trauma such as in childhood abuse, first responders, racism, bullying) or in one moment (car crash or battlefield event, death of a loved one, diagnosis of illness).

The thing with Moving Beyond Trauma is that its not just a function of resilience (bouncing back) but also Post Traumatic Growth (tough times can indeed make us stronger). 

Notice neither of these is a pathology approach (what's wrong with you) and instead the core of my work is what is “right” with you - because responses to trauma are natural and you can move on in life, to ease suffering and get the fun back.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, for joining us in Season 1. I’ve already begun recording interviews for Season 2 which will go out sometime in September. 

Don’t despair, over the summer there will be a mini series where I answer listener and client questions - on Chill, Fun, Love, Sleep, and Trust. 

See you there!

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

Life is beautiful, exhilarating and full of possibilities; it’s also complex, challenging and inherently uncertain… It takes courage to allow yourself to experience the whole spectrum of what life has to offer – “good” and “bad”, pleasant and uncomfortable, success and failure, happiness and anxiety. To not merely endure life, but to enjoy it in all its facets. [Yannick Jacob].

Yannick was my first ever formal coach trainer, and he’s also been my professional super-visor. I’m grateful to Yannick for the part he played in helping me begin to move beyond my own traumas, develop as a coach, and bravely explore the pull to do the trauma-informed work I now do. I’m so pleased to bring him to you here on Moving Beyond Trauma!

In training Yannick made it quite clear, it takes about 2 hours to learn how to coach; it takes a lifetime to learn how to think, reflect, behave and be effective at it! Even while he taught the nuts and bolts of coaching, I felt he was actually drawing us into an incredible world of how to think bigger, openly, humbly, challengingly, holding ever bigger spaces for the big conversations that matter.

Yannick and I both believe that coaching is a powerful a non-pathologizing support system to help people make sense of life and living. 

In this episode we don’t talk much about coaching, we just dive in to the big issues that we and our clients deal with every day, and you can hear us sharing quite deeply from our own lives as we ask each other searching questions, trying to bring something more to our listeners.

Yannick is part of the teaching faculties at Cambridge University and the International Centre for Coaching Supervision, and the Course Director of the School of Positive Transformation’s Accredited Certificate in Integrative Coaching. Formerly Programme Leader of the MSc Coaching Psychology at the University of East London, Yannick now presents at conferences internationally. His book, An Introduction to Existential Coaching, was published by Routledge. Yannick founded and hosts Yannick’s Coaching Lab which gives novice and seasoned coaches an opportunity to witness experienced coaches live in action, and he hosts the Animas Centre for Coaching's popular podcast Coaching Uncaged, as well as his own podcasts Talking about Coaching and Talking about Coaching and Psychedelics.

Have a look at Yannick's website here.

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

Paula Reid, Adventure Psychologist, is (amongst other intense experiences) the 3rd British woman to ski to the South Pole in 2014. We have her all to ourselves here in this episode where we talk through the sh*tty life situation that culminated in her decision to undertake the trip, along with inspiring insights into her approach to life.

Her Adventure Psychology strapline is “Going knowingly into the unknown”. I’ve always found it a good metaphor for life after trauma, because often the very way you see, know, and understand the world, has been tilted over and many things feel unknown, new, strange and tricky.

There’s lots we can “know” though, and Paula takes us through how she worked it out in the 7 weeks (with near unbearable nerve and skin injury to her thighs) it took her to get to the Pole. Her Cope - Survive - Thrive model is used by leaders all over the world who train with her to navigate the tough mental and physical challenges of leading businesses to success in current times.

She also shares some insights from her time in April 2023 volunteering in Ukraine with Siobhan’s Trust. And she hits the nail on the head - tough times can sometimes bring out the best in everybody, the trick is learning how to manage our energy and resilience over the long term.

I’ve not picked out any time stamps as Paula is a master storyteller, the episode flows beautifully. We cover:

• Big Moments in Life (that boot you up the butt)
• What resilience really is
• Talking yourself through tough times
• Dark sense of humour (getting the fun back anyway)
• Moving Beyond Adversity
• When the everyday is also an adventure

You’ll absolutely want to check out her stuff online, she’s done a TED talk and is on YouTube, she’s published five books including BOAT to BOARDROOM which uses the Global Challenge as an extreme case study and The 7 Racing Rules – Lessons for Winning in Business and in Life contains her top seven performance principles. Her most recent publication is Adventure Psychology: Going Knowingly into the Unknown, a psychology reference book published by Routledge…. and she is just inspiring to vibe with!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hmuVyA__7eo

https://www.paulareid.com/

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

Not only is Anna one of the most upbeat people I know, but she’s got a ton of wisdom on navigating health issues specific to women - except the affect us all in some way or other!

Join us as we discuss rebuilding your body and mind from post-partum, (or injury of any kind including hysterectomy and more), through hormonal challenges that affect health and fitness, to menopause - and beyond!

You’ll know that a big part of my trauma story is the damage that happened in body and mind when I gave birth to child #1. I promise no gory details (no need to go over all that again) but I can promise that I get real with some of the challenges I have faced and how Anna has saved my body (and therefore also my mind, as I can exercise like never before!).

Here are some time stamps:

04:20 After baby body issues

09:25 Support for the post partum body

14:00 Exercises that can help you rebuild

19:45 Strength strength strength

35:00 Normal people (not celebrities!) bouncing back

45:00 Weight loss AND strength

51:00 Menopause

If you love her stuff you can find more here:

Website: https://anna-motion.com/

Insta: https://instagram.com/anna_annamotion?igshid=Mzc1MmZhNjY=

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/annamotion18

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

Meet Anna Stephens Master Coach, and ex-Army buddy of mine who I first met in the summer of 1993 (how time flies eh!). She's always been the sunniest, most optimistic of friends, someone who genuinely refills my tank, so I was delighted when she overcame her own injuries and hang ups about running a business when she left the Army... and trained as an awesome personal trainer.

Like me, she was already working online when the pandemic happened, and she was a complete lifeline for many of us in her 3 x weekly fitness groups.

Best of all, she navigates illness, injury, and age, with tact and style. I've rebuilt my body with her help, over 12 years now since I was literally torn apart giving birth, after about 3 years of training with Anna, I can walk pain free up and down my 5-storey home, lift heavy and awkward loads. Best of all I have learnt how to enjoy training with heavy weights, to loud rock ballad music, the perfect reboot to my system given the nature of my work.

So it was a no brainer to us both that she'd come and talk to us about redefining yourself, and reconnecting with your body and fitness after injury or illness. We'll do a separate episode for women's health, post-partum, menopause and all that. This episode is for anyone who (Anna's phrase) has had a divorce from their knees or other part of their body, and wants to make amends!

Here are some time stamps:
02:00 Anna's story - 24 yrs in the Army
05:00 When you’ve pushed your body to it’s limits
06:20 Mental health and identity when you can't do your sport, exercise, or fitness
08:30 Where else do you get happy endorphins from?
10:50 Training after long term illness or chemotherapy
12:40 Your starting point is What Can you Do?
17:45 Training safely, on zoom, its a real thing!
19:50 You cannot out-train a bad diet
23:30 Mindset matters
29:00 Ambitious people being kind to themselves and their body - uhuh
31:45 View calories like savings in your piggy bank
35:47 The best thing? A proper walk every day. And 3 resistance sessions a week
39:00 Redefining yourself after injury/illness
42:00 Acceptance, kind words to yourself, and getting proper support

To continue the conversation with Anna you can find her here:

Website: https://anna-motion.com/

Insta: https://instagram.com/anna_annamotion?igshid=Mzc1MmZhNjY=

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/annamotion18

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

I couldn’t wait until the end of the season to draw together my reflections and ideas from Season 1 of my very first ever podcast, Moving Beyond Trauma!

It’s been by far the most radically creative thing I’ve ever done, and wonderfully affirming - I’m not alone, everywhere out there are people quietly moving beyond their own trauma, and helping others do the same. 

Here’s what came up:

1.    Stats! Buzzsprout produces a ton of analytics and I’ve been surprisingly mesmerised by seeing behind the scenes of a podcast! How many times has it been downloaded? Which guest was listened to most? Where in the world are people listening? 

2.    Here’s 4 Things I’ve noticed about Moving Beyond Trauma:

• The Thing that no-one tells you about moving beyond any trauma;
• Hero’s in the Journey are never alone (and how this really feels on the inside);
• Intentionally curating ALL areas of your life is the most effective way to do that elusive “self care” that is essential for wellbeing - and what happens when you are so in flow and focussed on your goal that you forget to do this;
• Be your own Action Friend (the cavalry are not coming, step up and take your own lead!).

3.    Some very personal reflections and thoughts as I am so incredibly grateful to have created this amazing thinking space, and been joined by so many wonderful people to be interviewed, and you, the listeners, all around the world. It matters to me.

Thank you.

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

Not only is Andy Elwood a Mental Health First Aid Trainer, but his experience as a helicopter rescue paramedic (both civilian and military) gives him a powerfully down-to-earth approach to mental health.

He goes so far as to say that there is no health without mental health, and that he firmly believes he saves more lives now, by training people in mental health first aid, than he ever did in his earlier career.

His unique approach to communicating with men is driven by the fact that men are three times more likely than women to end their life by suicide. Despite Andy’s various awards for physical courage, he believes his bravest action has been to talk openly about his own struggles and vulnerability, in order to find a way through three very different challenges during his lifetime.

Andy is honoured to be an ambassador for Movember. Since HRH Duke of Cambridge attended Andy’s Mental Health workshop, at the UK Search and Rescue National Conference in 2018, he has been engaged as a speaker by organisations such as University of Cambridge Medical School; Jacobs (construction industry); Scottish Mountain Rescue; Emergency Services Show (NEC) and Mind Blue Light Programme.

I’m delighted that he has joined us to talk in vivid and practical ways about how he has Moved Beyond Trauma, and every day helps more people to do this too.

(And for those of you who say you don’t think I sound very Northern Irish - this podcast gives you an idea of how I talk when I’m back home, or I've had a wee drink!)

Here are some time stamps:

6:45 - How Andy’s real-life, vivid experiences, help him know what works for people

11:55 The Recovery Journey

14:30 Three things you can say to almost anyone whom you are giving Mental Health First Aid to

14:50 Men’s Mental Health - key messages

23:05 Using your senses for better mental health every day

28:15 How mental health is continually changing within us, and how we continually adapt and change strategies to move forward

28:30 The Stress Container Model

40:23 Simple ways to be a Mental Health First Aider every day of your life to help those around you

46:05 Increasing your resilience

50:35 Mental Health First Aid training isn’t new, its been around for 20 years and over 5 million people worldwide are thought to have been trained in it

You can find out more from Andy on these links:

Email - [email protected]

Web - https://www.andyelwood.com

LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/andy-elwood-773457100/

Blogs: 

https://www.andyelwood.com/how-do-you-de-stress-recharge-your-batteries/

https://www.andyelwood.com/what-to-say-to-someone-who-is-struggling/

https://www.andyelwood.com/how-to-have-a-conversation-about-suicide/

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

After a truly terrible experience, I urgently needed a dentist who would not cause more trauma to our daughter. By absolute luck, I found Dr Sarah, and I was so delighted with the experience we got from her I asked her if she’d be our podcast guest!

A trauma-informed world, imo, learns from the voices of people who have experienced it… and like any other learning, its power comes from being turned into action. In some way, we can make life better for ourselves or others, every time we digest a bit more.

Dr Sarah absolutely embodies this - she developed her own trauma informed paediatric dentistry practice not only to support children (and adults) who have been traumatised to get the care they need without being re-traumatised; but to one step further and develop skills to reduce or stop trauma occurring in the first place.

Not only this, but a huge number of her patients have special needs, they are hyper-sensitive, or have autism, or are neuro-divergent in some way. She says it is these patients who teach her what they need.

So in this conversation we explore how come she started on this journey, and how her steps have led her to be (currently) the only trauma-informed paediatric dentist in Luxembourg!

Here’s some timestamps:

04:00 How Dr Sarah developed her skills

07:45 the power of a positive dental experience, especially building trust

12:15 How hypnotherapy techniques have helped Dr Sarah and informed her work

15:00 Breaking trauma cycles every day (dentally-traumatised parents, this is for you!)

19:10 Dentistry for autistic children with significant support needs

32:15 Three golden rules: Don’t lie. Listen deeply. Learn from the person in front of you.

Bonus: In this podcast I mention the Connected Kids meditation training I completed - this is a highly trauma-informed approach developed initially for children with additional and special needs (though I use it with my kids and with many of my clients). Many of the techniques Dr Sarah describes are like those I learnt - if interested, you can delve into any resources on that here.

You can find out more about Dr Sarah below:

Kidssmile
6, Cité Herrenberg
L-6679 Mertert
00352 26 47 441

She's on Instagram: @kinderdentista

CHEM in Esch-Sur-Alzette:
https://www.chem.lu/trouver-un-medecin/dr-sarah-gregor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZI2xteq3Prc&t=1s

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

Andrew is an Actor and a fellow Positive Psychologist, and I am delighted that he agreed to come and share top tips with us on Acting Confident, taking the Lead (pun intended!) and boosting your self esteem.

What I love is that every one of his tips are based both in the school of acting and Positive Psychology.

Acting is not faking something, but it is about becoming someone else, for a time, for a role, for a reason. 

In life, especially in stress, we may need to play a role, even on a bad day. Such as advocating for yourself at the doctor, asking for help for the millionth time as a single parent, meeting with he teacher to increase support for your child, pitching a contract for your business… you name it, there’s plenty of meetings we would rather not have… but we must do.

Here’s a couple of time stamps, but it was quite a free flowing conversation so you may just enjoy Andrew’s warm voice and anecdotes all the way through!

04:08 Feel overwhelmed at a party or big roomful of people? Give yourself a job (role) to play and start being of service to others. The serotonin and oxytocin will make you feel warm and fuzzy while the adrenaline buzz will make you feel top of the world!

08:00 Suddenly gone blank? Zoned out while someone is talking? Some tips on staying present and connected.

12:00 Wearing a “mask” in a good way, whether to get over shyness and have fun, or to give yourself space after rejection (and a wonderfully colourful drag story to illustrate this).

19:31 Use of props - food, items of clothing, etc, to give yourself a way to calm and ground so you can re-focus on the person or job in hand, and even to retrain a bad habit.

34:28 Feeling stressed when you need to perform is healthy, its called eustress and is your friend! Speaking at an event? Pick one person at a time and talk to them, then another, then another. Humans don’t get fear triggers when they talk just to one person as when faced wtih a small group, so break it down. A brilliant side effect is that the nervous systems in the room will regulate together, and you’ll feel connected and interested, even if you don’t know why!

To continue the conversation with Andrew you can email him [email protected] or twitter @‌AndrewPiperUK

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

Free up your mind! De-clutter, create fresh space, find your identity, and more… The “Psychology of Home” unlocked; Part 2, with Caroline Rogers, Professional Declutterer

Caroline and I unpack more of the psychology that underpins why we don’t say someone is “houseless”, we say they are “homeless”. There is enormous psychological power that lies dormant and unnoticed, simply in the very act of curating the spaces where we live.

Caroline tartly points out that for many centuries now, in many cultures, the act of cleaning and taking care of the home has been diminished and minimized. Instead, she draws out how these very activities can boost and uplift our wellbeing, sense of identity, safety and security.

Here are some time stamps to guide you:

2:032 How trauma is very present in the work of declutterers

4:45 Sharing your darker stuff with a complete stranger - the parallells between decluttering and trauma-informed coaching, as companions or allies as you work through your "stuff"

9:35 How clutter and hoarding (or living in a full home) are connected but very different and why we tread lightly

11:30 Clutter, and tidying children's possessions. Possessions and toys as sensory support to help create a grounding safe space.

15:00 Who do you let touch your stuff when you are decluttering?

21:28 This is a gentle and self-compassionate action, caring for yourself by curating your home space

31:23 Caroline's top tips on how to get started!

Also in this episode we mention Maya Gudka’s podcast interview that Caroline did with her recently on decluttering in your work life - in fact there are 3 episodes and you can catch them here.

Continue the conversation with Caroline on her website Room To Think here

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]