Refreshing Leadership

Drum roll please…. Revealing the new name for this podcast!

Welcome to Refreshing Leadership, the podcast that explores the intersection of neuroscience, leadership, and purpose. Dive into the world of trauma-informed leadership coaching and harness its wisdom to navigate uncertainty with confidence!

If you’ve been listening through the first season when it was called Moving Beyond Trauma, rest assured we are still going to be exploring the wisdom of trauma, especially what information transfers across to teach us about the Nervous System, both under pressure and in creativity.

And we are still going to be enjoying interesting and insightful conversations with amazing people, as we ease suffering and get the fun back!

🎯 Here are 3 key takeaways from this episode:

1️⃣ Trauma-Informed Leadership: Discover how trauma-informed leadership can transform your organization. By understanding the connection between our nervous system's response to danger and effective leadership, you'll be equipped to create a high-trust environment where everyone can thrive.

2️⃣ The Power of Interpersonal Skills: Explore why the most pressing issues at work are often interpersonal in nature, even in technical fields. Learn strategies to navigate challenging dynamics and foster meaningful connections within your team and beyond.

3️⃣ From Avoidance to Balance: Hear inspiring stories of individuals who have shifted from avoidant coping mechanisms to finding emotional balance and growth. Discover powerful techniques to develop emotional vocabulary and regulate your own emotions as a leader.

🎉 Join me on this exciting journey of continuous learning and growth as we explore the refreshing world of leadership. 

🌱 Together, let's create positive change, ease suffering, and have fun along the way! 🌟

Listen to the episode now on your favorite podcast platform and let me know your thoughts in the comments below. I can't wait to hear from you! 🙌

#RefreshingLeadership #Podcast #LeadershipDevelopment #TraumaInformedLeadership #ContinuousLearning #Inspiration #EmotionalBalance #InterpersonalSkills #TransformYourself #TransformYourTeam #CreatingChange #EaseSufferingAndGetTheFunBack

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

Ever noticed a repeating pattern in your romantic or work relationships? Do you fear being left out or left on your own? Do you feel crowded or suffocated in relationships? Do you find yourself struggling to find the right words to deal with a difficult person at work? Do you wish desperately for your dream partner, but find yourself growing older, still alone?

This week’s guest is Elfreda Manahan-Vaughan, an Integrative Trauma-Informed Coach. She vividly brings to life the world of adult attachment, along with how we can recognise and help ourselves (and others) with attachment injuries and wounds, in ALL our relationships.

Wherever we are in the world, we must engage with other people. And in that territory, lies hidden attachment wounds. In this episode, Elfreda and I unpack the importance of self-awareness. She distinguishes between attachment trauma and trauma itself, shedding light on how attachment experiences can impact communication and behavior in various relationships.

She delves into the neuroscience behind reactive behaviors and the factors that influence behavior, such as sensory issues, interactions with others, and one's own thoughts and emotions.

She touches on antagonistic behaviors in narcissistic individuals and the distinction between destructive narcissists and those who use narcissistic behaviors as coping mechanisms.

Elfreda emphasizes the importance of understanding one's own reactions and strategies as a starting point. She discusses various avenues for treatment, including therapy, coaching, and trauma support, highlighting the need to address specific sets of behaviors and their level of dysfunctionality rather than focusing solely on diagnosing specific disorders.

Some approximate timestamps:

00:02:45 Attachment wounds create adaptive responses in relationships.
00:05:21 Attachment needs for safe, functional relationships summarized.
00:11:43 Change, dynamics, uncertainty.
00:16:58 Inconsistent co-regulation leads to manipulative behavior.
00:21:28 Earning balance through resolved attachment trauma.
00:28:51 DMM analyzes communication about primary relationships—avoidance/emotion.
00:35:26 Coaching helps with thinking, reasoning, and planning.
00:37:25 Coercive strategy, awareness, balance, manipulation, difficulty, aggression.
00:47:15 Narcissistic behavior can be destructive and antagonistic, while coping strategies aren't always.
00:48:41 Coaching room conversation needs self-awareness, adaptability.
01:02:08 Psychological treatment can help with trauma, choice.
01:07:25 Moving beyond trauma brings hope and purpose.

Elfreda gave us these links to continue the exploration of healthy attachment relationships:
Website: www.metta-morphics.com; IG; LinkedIn; YouTube

The DMM: https://familyrelationsinstitute.org/dmm-model/

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

I've been having conversations and doing some deep thinking about the direction of this podcast and how it can best serve our listeners. As much as I love discussing trauma and its effects, I've been inspired to expand the scope of our conversations. Don’t worry, the wisdom of trauma and getting the most from our Nervous System will stay with us! 

It's abundantly clear that the biggest threats to leaders are the ones that affect the bottom line and financial stability. 

Perceived threat (you’ll recall) is what our Nervous System is scanning for 24/7. But, when we live on medium-high “alert” for extended periods of time, that’s when things can unravel.

As I dig deeper, I confirm that these issues are not just confined to the corporate space. They extend to our personal lives, relationships, and communities. 

And I believe there's a common underlying factor: uncertainty.  From international threats to technological advancements, there's no escaping it. And as the workforce evolves with different generations coming in, there's a need to adapt and navigate these uncertainties.

So, what does this mean for the podcast? Well, I'm considering a name change that reflects this broader focus on uncertainty and its impact on leaders and individuals alike. I'm bringing my two favourite hot topics together, and I'd love to hear your thoughts (for those who have already engaged, thank you!).

Uncertainty = Risk / Threat

🌟 For leaders, their personal risk includes their job security, livelihood, and the financial stability of their family. 

🌟 For organizations, risk encompasses the bottom line, job security for employees, and meeting the organization's goals in the face of uncertainty.

This brings us to the role of a good boss. A good boss ... (fill in the blank for yourself, here's some options I've heard in recent weeks):

🔮understands the uncertainties and provides clarity, connection, and a safe space for their team to thrive;

🔮acts as a shield, buffering between the issues rising upwards, and sh#t rolling downwards!;

🔮doesn’t hide either the truth or their vulnerablility. 

One thing this does NOT all mean is that a boss must pretend to know everything. No-one can do this and it's just high-level fakery.

So, join me as we delve into the challenges faced by leaders, the impact of uncertainty, and the vital role of a good boss. And stay tuned until the end as we discuss the potential new name for the podcast. 

Get ready for an episode that will empower you to thrive in uncertainty. 

Approximate Timestamps:

[00:01:50] Uncovering threats to leaders, corporate workers, entrepreneurs.
[00:05:27] Analytical thinking, unifying factor, risk in business.
[00:06:25] Moving from uncertainty to risk, both personally and organizationally.[00:12:12] Isolation, aggression, leaders facing uncertainty. What has this got to do with what we can learn from trauma?
[00:13:39] Healing from toxic environments and becoming leaders.
[00:17:58] Weaving wisdom of high performance and trauma. Excited for potential growth and unleashed power.

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

Dr Sarah Brooks has spent the last 10 years researching Voice and Silence in organisations. I was super pleased when she said yes to being a podcast guest.

Who “speaks” in organisations? Who’s voices are always heard? And who are always silent? And (the doozie) how can we make this better for everyone?

I’m delighted we had the chance to delve deep into the topic of cultivating employee voices and the crucial role of psychological safety in organizations.

🔑 Key Takeaways:

1️⃣ Psychological Safety: Fostering a culture of psychological safety is vital for organizations to unlock the power of employee voice. It enables individuals to freely express their thoughts, concerns, and ideas without fear of judgment or repercussions. Creating psychological safety, however, is not an easy task. 

2️⃣ Polyvagal Theory - A science of safety and connection. We got right into the fascinating world of the Polyvagal Theory and its relevance to creating safe spaces for individuals to express their voices. The theory explores how our nervous system responds to threats and safety cues. At it’s heart is helping people learn how we can navigate our emotional and physiological responses, helping us feel safe and empowered to speak out.

3️⃣ Coaching for Empowerment: Whether it's one-on-one coaching or group coaching, both have their place in supporting personal and systemic growth within organizations and play a crucial role in empowering individuals to find their voices. It provides a safe space for self-exploration, overcoming barriers. 

Much as you think we’d agree coaching is great (we both are coaches after all!), we did end up critiquing that coaching is not a one-size-fits-all solution, and organizations should consider various factors when implementing it.

I am incredibly passionate about creating environments where everyone's voice is heard and valued. 

Let's continue the conversation on how we can build trust, empower voices, and drive positive change in our organizations!

Timestamps (approximate):

[00:02:05] Dr Sarah’s backstory

[00:09:29] Polyvagal theory: safety, fight, flight, freeze.

[00:13:18] Body's role in decision-making and communication.

[00:16:51] Creating safe workplaces through coaching and self-reflection.

[00:21:16] Three questions to start a meaningful conversation.

[00:26:24] Social engagement inhibits action; societal influence.

[00:31:15] Individual vs collective tension explored in research.

[00:34:05] Understanding employee voices to improve organizations.

[00:43:35] Coaching helps individuals overcome struggles and can be key in moving beyond trauma.

[00:47:35] Uncovering hidden issues and supporting therapy.

[00:51:47] Talk about the unsaid, find alternative expression.

[00:53:21] Limited research on embodied approach; connection to trauma and spirituality.

Continue the conversation with Dr Sarah on her website and LinkedIn. 

#MBTpodcast #EmployeeVoice #PsychologicalSafety #CoachingForGrowth #LeadershipDevelopment #Empowerment #UnlockingPotential

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

Welcome to S2 of the Moving Beyond Trauma podcast!

I am thrilled to be back with more episodes that explore the incredible power of the nervous system and how we can move from surviving to thriving in our lives.

In this episode, I will be giving you a sneak peek behind the scenes of what's been happening with the podcast and the exciting themes and guests we have lined up for this season. From women in leadership to the pressures faced by decision-makers, we will be delving into important topics that impact our mental health and well-being.

I will be sharing some fascinating insights from the interviews I've already conducted, including discussions on voice and silence in organizations, attachment theory, neurodivergence, spirituality, and so much more. It's a diverse range of perspectives that will challenge the way we think about leadership and the importance of mental well-being in the workplace.

One emerging theme that has stood out to me is the unique experiences of women in leadership roles. As a trailblazer myself (though I never saw myself this way until years later; none of us did), I have firsthand experience of breaking ground in male-dominated environments.

We will explore the differences in leadership styles, ponder how women can be better supported in their roles, and the importance of true diversity and inclusion in the workplace.

So sit back, relax, and join me on this journey as we navigate the complexities of trauma, uncover the power of the nervous system, and discover how we can all move beyond trauma to live our best lives.

Timestamps

[00:01:32] Summary: Behind the scenes updates. Exciting interviews on mental well-being. 

[00:05:59] Leadership pressures, mental health, job satisfaction, women.

[00:07:20] Femininity was/ is not welcomed in male-dominated leadership.

[00:11:30] Exploring PhD on trusted leadership, and how women are the hidden leaders here.

[00:14:42] Moving beyond toxic leadership, creating inclusive change.

[00:19:10] Kitchen: heart of home, hub for connection.

[00:22:41] Coaching for change, leaders facing mental health.

#WomenLeadership #MovingBeyondTrauma #LeadershipMatters #WomenEmpowerment #InclusiveLeadership #TrustedLeaders #PurposeMatters

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

How to trust and live again after being let down by someone close? This issue has been asked to me over and over again. In private messages, and client sessions, in workplace and intimate settings, in youth and in age, across gender, ability, and life experiences.

Trust really matters. To everyone.

How to gather yourself and move on without becoming a steel-walled fortress that no-one can get near (and as a result staying lonely and isolated)?

How to build inner trust in yourself, protect yourself, and move on?

I don’t have all the answers. By a long way.

I do have endless compassion for people hurt by this most ancient of human hurts.

These are me general thoughts on the matter… message me for a safe and understanding space to take a look at the trust issues you know you want to deal with. 

Time stamps:

04:11 Psychological theories underpinning Trust - Shattered Assumptions theory

06:00 Even coaching about work and professional issues can often uncover deep trust issues from experiences in personal, intimate relationships

07:32 Fallible humans… and trusting them

08:00 But what if you should be listening to your trust protectors, because you are being abused or otherwise maltreated

09:00 Navigating vulnerability - with trust issues

11:00 A quick, thinking, exercise

14:30 Guilt, shame, when it is others that have let us down

15:00 Existential perspective on trust, groups, and belonging

17:00 Understanding primary and secondary pain

20:18 Brene Brown and Elizabeth Gilbert on Trust, vulnerability, creativity

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

Sleep is often a massive issue with my clients. In my opinion, its one of the biggest factors affecting people’s well-being that I come across.

This episode is packed full of information and top tips around getting to the heart of your sleep patterns and ways to improve them.

[Disclaimer is that while I’ve studied, read, and learnt as much as I possibly can about sleep, I cannot say I am a sleep expert and urge you to seek medical advice if you are concerned about this or any other aspect of your health.]

03:00 Sleep has a major impact on performance in life

04:15 What the neuroscience of safety tells us about the function and conditions for sleep

06:00 Being active and being outdoors

07:00 Creating mental tiredness

10:10 What it takes to get properly comfortable

12:00 Handpicking your own sleep hygiene habits (warning, one size does not fit all!) 

20:24 Sleep cycle knowledge

22:10 Tips and tricks

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

I recorded this on family holiday in the Dolomites, which seemed the perfect place, amongst incredible beauty and power of nature, crisp clean mountain air, and amazing views on every horizon, to talk with you about Love.

A big part of my work is inviting people to think more deeply and carefully about what matters to them.

While its no surprise to me that Love often shows up in this, the clients, especially executive corporate clients, are a little worried that this “isn’t for coaching”.

It is as if they were suddenly surprised how close the surface, and the deeper, parts of them actually are. But to me, there are “no small things”.

They then often need a sort of permission to go there. To explore. Because love matters the same as anything else that matters (or perhaps more? discuss!).

There’s no point being in the best role or location in the world, if inside your heart is broken, or struggling, or lonely.

I loved creating this episode for you, out of love and hope. Let me know what you think!

Timestamps:

3:00 When love shows up in a conversation about what matters

5:00 When a client begins to focus on inviting and upgrading the quality of love in their life… what a privilege to be part of such a vulnerable and powerful time in someone’s life

6:00 The different ways love shows up all around us

8:10 Working towards something you want in life, especially after trauma in that area, can take a heap of energy and faith. Yet it is paramount we stop the junk soundtrack in our minds and tell ourselves better quality things

11:15 Did you know Hope is an action? Yep, you need to get off your butt and do stuff, and hope will be right there

12:30 Decluttering, followed by curating a powerful space that invites love right in

18:55 Sharpening up your attention and your intention

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

The reason why I do what I do, is to “ease suffering and get the fun back”.

Early when working with me client often ask about this:

Why is this supposed to be fun. Isn’t therapeutic “working on yourself” supposed to be hard?

(Who said it couldn’t be both at once, hard work AND fun?)

What if I’m not fun enough. Do you get bored, or think I’m no good as a client?

(There’s a huge difference between fun and being funny. Lets talk about Humour, Seriously, by Jennifer Acker and Naomi Bagdonas.)

What if I am sad. Isn’t it a bit of toxic positivity to make it fun?

(Absolutely, toxic positivity denies you your voice. It stops truth and authenticity. There’s no fun when this is happening, so it isn’t what I mean.)

And I reassure you. There’s a lot more to fun, than you might think. And I get to indulge myself, and you, by talking about it in this mini episode.

It is a medicine, a mood and mindset shifter, a release.

It is good for your mind and body (I share some lovely research into Heart Rate Variability).

It releases tension, stress, and resets our stress container - a vital tool for resilience.

Time stamps:

02:00 Working on yourself doesn’t need to be a real drag. I make it my mission to help you get the fun back.

03:10 The difference between fun and being funny

05:10 Professor Robert’s research on why fun is actually good for your mind and body

07:25 Noticing fun and savouring funny things in life

09:50 Making fun into a habit that sticks

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

Summer 2023 Mini Series - Chill

I was asked “can the nervous system response be stuck both ‘on’ and ‘off’”… This mini episode is my answer, which you won’t be surprised to hear, if based on applied polyvagal theory.

This episode I get into a bit more detail on how this shows up in daily life and what we can do about it.

Time stamps:

01:39 Questions I get asked about feeling stuck on both a high energy and immobilised state

05:27 The role of emotion

08:00 Neuroception - sensing inwards

12:30 High performance states when you are at your best

21:00 High levels of stuck energy trapped by simultaneous “I must” and “I can’t” emotions and thoughts

25:00 Befriending your nervous system and getting to know yourself to help yourself

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]