Refreshing Leadership

Mental baggage is something we all have. I find that in my trauma-informed work, it is often reflected in other areas of life. Having a good clear out is something I regularly did to clear my mind, long before I studied psychology!

For myself, now in my 30th home in 23 years, and an ex-pat, I have experienced first hand the power of making my family home anywhere. On purpose, I create it into a “den” where we can all retreat to, to reboot. Some of the clutter is highly important, objects that help us remember who we are and where we come from. In my home, visitors can know me/us, within a few moments of walking in.

So when I met Caroline Rogers on my MSc program, I was thrilled that someone was studying the science of the Psychology of Home! Psychology is often criticized for being too much about what is in the mind, and not the body. Take this one step further, and it also can be criticized for being too much about the individual, and not the community/system that they live in. And so too, our homes are an reflection of that physical and mental space we inhabit Why ignore it?

And so (says Caroline) by curating a home space, we can actively support ourselves whether that is simply to boost our mental health, or when we are digging deep to recover from mental injuries and the wear and tear of life.

Here are a few time stamps:

3:00 Why Caroline's work is fundamentally connected to helping people work WITH, not ON their pasts, while curating a nurturing space to live in

3:23 The science and research behind the Psychology of Home

11:00 Are our possessions are clutter, or treasure?

17:00 curating a home anywhere, for expats and others who move regularly

29:38 Home curating is not a menial, trivial or gendered task, but fundamental to our well-being

Part 2 to follow, on practical and fun ways to make this happen!

Continue the conversation with Caroline on her website Room To Think here

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

I love my visits to Philippe, my osteopath, as we have so many deep and interesting chats about the body-mind complex (as you do!). Recording this interview was delightful and fun.

Philippe is 34, an osteopath and yoga teacher based just north of Luxembourg City. He has 2 young children and his wife, also an osteopath, is training to be a doctor.

He has a very practical and compassionate approach towards the body-mind connection, gently helping people with their physical pain and suffering. I only discovered he was so spiritual by asking him some questions - he keeps it very discreet and is respectful that not everyone is in this place.

Yet his view that there was indeed a body-mind connection grew from his teen years when he discovered and got interested in observing this connection between the body and mind, that pain and physical suffering can indeed have roots in our mind and brain, and vice versa.

In this conversation he brings us along his journey from body, to mind, to spirit, and how he uses this in his work. It is a free flowing conversation,  but here are some time stamps:

05:16 Yoga perspective on the body-mind complex

10:44 Inner growth is not linear!

19:40 Why yoga is not just something you do on a mat, but a practical skill you can take into all areas of your life

21:55 The body teaches us to move patiently and gently through all types of growth and healing. It cannot be forced.

27:34 The balance between taking it seriously, and NOT taking yourself too seriously! How a light and curious approach, within and without, serves us well.

Most of my clients at some stage ask themselves some existential questions like why me? what is this learning for? what is next? who am I really? Some get a sense that not all answers are inside themselves, for some people, connecting to energy or consciousness much larger than themselves can be bring hope, peace, a sense of perspective, and so on. Some find themselves moving steadily on a path of discovery as they do this.

I want to stress that in this podcast the word spirituality is not synonymous with religion.

The Body Keeps the Score (Bessel van der Kolk) and we can learn so much and assist our ability to Move Beyond Trauma so much more, when we bring the body, mind, emotions and spirit into the equation!

I hope you enjoy listening as much as we enjoyed the live conversation. To discover more about Philippe or contact him please go to https://www.osteopathiebauler.com/

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

Welcome to the second of two interviews with Dina Grishin, Life and Career Coach. In this 2-part conversation we got right into The Hero's Journey (Joseph Campbell) and how it provides a practical pathway alongside Jung's Theory of Individuation.

In this episode we explore how the Hero is not alone (isn’t that great news!) and how help can come in a series of different guises, allies, mentors, and fellow travellers.

When we step back from the struggle, we can see back along the pathway how far we have come. And sometimes we can see ahead (a little way) to where we are going. The Hero’s Journey offers a compassionate and inspiring way to view modern life, and Dina has some great tips for us here.

This is for you on any journey through life, it doesn’t have to be career (its just a biggie that people often want help with) but have fun looking at your relationships, where you want to live, the Big Issues that matter to you through this lens too, and see where you can identify your allies and helpers along the way.

The image of the 12 steps of the Hero's Journey are within this blog - https://skift.com/2016/10/28/the-heros-journey-a-human-framework-for-building-modern-travel-brands/

And we especially love this infographic that Sarah McGuire made, showing the 6 most famous hero movies and the 12 steps for each of them - https://venngage.com/blog/heros-journey/

Find Dina here https://dinagrishin.com/

And if you missed Part 1 where Dina explains the scientific and historical basis behind the model, catch it here: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2144758/12736793

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

Dina Grishin is a Life and Career Coach, and in this 2-part conversation we got right into The Hero's Journey (Joseph Campbell) and how it provides a practical pathway alongside Jung's Theory of Individuation.

Career stuckness, whether for your very first paid employment, a new graduate, seasoned employee wondering if there is more to life, budding entrepreneur forging a new path that you love but are unsure of, or business owner setting direction and leading decisions for establishment and growth, can take many forms, and Dina brings the problems and solutions to life for us here through this powerful yet very compassionate lens.

We recommend having a look at these two links alongside listening to this episode:

The image of the 12 steps of the Hero's Journey are within this blog - https://skift.com/2016/10/28/the-heros-journey-a-human-framework-for-building-modern-travel-brands/

And we especially love this infographic that Sarah McGuire made, showing the 6 most famous hero movies and the 12 steps for each of them - https://venngage.com/blog/heros-journey/

Find Dina here https://dinagrishin.com/

To listen to more on the fascinating topic of Moving Beyond Trauma, you can find the podcast here https://movingbeyondtrauma.buzzsprout.com. 

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

Chronic Illness is a gritty area of coaching psychology. People with chronic illness have likely grappled with existential themes, explored their own meaning and purpose, and pondered thoughts like "why me". Keith has survived two severe near-death illnesses and this completely changed the tracks of his life.

He's a skilled practitioner and researcher and specialises in helping people move on in life, with (alongside) their illness. In this episode we unpick his personal motivators, his favourite theories that help him and his clients, and the online community he is building for people going through chronic illness.

Here are some time stamps:

01:38 Getting interested in psychology at school

03:44 The "proper beginning", struck by severe rare illness, Wegeners Granulomatosis or Granulomatosis with Polyangitis, a type of vascular disease which is auto-immune

13:52 Getting to know the real me

17:00 The second chance - what inspired him to do psychology is knowing he could use his experiences to help people 

21:18 Learning narrative therapy firstly to make sense of his own past, and then to create a new future going forward

22:37 Struggling with sounding academic and "wonky" yet determined to build a positive community for people with chronic illness

29:10 Deep dive research into career identity loss, as personal story and narrative as a whole

32:30 Working with (not on) anxiety, health anxiety, depression

33:20 Social comparison (its a problem)

35:50 confidence and self motivation using visualisation and clarity

39:30 Working towards goals - not always linear pathways

Keith says:
"I am guided by the core belief that even if we lose what we once had physically, we can still grow intellectually, mentally, and emotionally. A challenging life is not necessarily a catastrophic one. We may not live as fully as once did, but our lives can still have value, meaning and purpose. We might just have to be more creative in how we find it."

You can find Keith on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/illnesscoachingpsychologist/

and LinkedIn
linkedin.com/in/keith-mayers-chartered-coaching-psychologist-34684ba

Thanks for listening!

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

This is Part 2 of my conversation with Tracey Moys, House of Colour Chattanooga-Hixson. (Check out Part 1 to find out about inner and outer confidence, how the two work together, and how it can save you heaps of energy, time, and boost your self confidence).

In this episode we get down to business. How, exactly, can we be seen AND heard and remain comfortable in our own skin?

What if we really don't want to get visible, but we need it for someone else's sake, like our child, parent, or loved one?

What if your past life experiences (traumatic or otherwise) have left you quietly doubting yourself, keeping things moderately safe and small, but you realise it is exhausting?

What if you've had a sudden change in your life - realised its time to find your life partner, get a new job, leave your job, get a raise, move country... these are big, out-of-the-ordinary challenges that people face every day - Tracey will help you do it within your own style, comfortable in your own personality, yet save you time, energy, and boost your self confidence.

Let's face it, we all know how to be invisible, nobody needs a podcast on that! So in this episode Tracey gives us some practical tips for using the universal colour that suits us all, to be seen and heard where it matters.

At one point she flips it and asks me some questions so you get to hear a bit of my own discovery of how to understand and present myself from the inside to the outside.

Here's some time stamps:

2:26 We do all need to be visible, if we live in this world, yet we might not be in a great place inside. But we can't avoid going out, we have to do things, so its much better to do this while in control

3:57 How the need to be visible can be different, but still challenging, for men and women.

5:15 The world of online dating - its the modern way to meet people, and it demands a visual presence. This is as scary for men as women!

6:00 How Tracey has helped trans clients too, just being comfortable in their own skin, being themselves

7:10 Easy tip 1: Flip your black to navy to improve your professional appearance

7:50 Dressing for authority and how to use clothes as armour and accessories for protection, when we need that boost

12:25 Tracey flips into interview mode and asks me some searching questions about her own experiences

15:26 How to focus on your communication (zoom box!) area

15:55 The bio-psychology science why red is the game changer

18:30 You can't be heard unless you are seen

Here's a video to bring these practical tips to life as Tracey does a demo on intentionally going from invisible to visible - you can do this, in control, to make your life easier! 

One thing you can do right now to get seen AND heard, on your terms, with Tracey Moys House of Color

To continue the conversation with Tracey go on to:
@houseofcolour_traceymoys
http://Facebook.com/hoc.chatt.hixson
https://www.houseofcolour.com/index.php/stylists/tracey-moys-north-chattanooga-tennessee
http://LinkedIn.com/in/traceymoys

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

If you follow me for a while you'll know that I talk a lot about inner AND outer confidence. Inner confidence is my bag. I use coaching psychology to help you understand what it is that is pulling down your inner soundtrack (yep that voice in your head that doubts you can do a bunch of stuff), and how to fix it.

Tracey Moys is a professional who helps people project outer confidence. With her help I began to shift how I looked on the outside, to match who I was on the inside. My business took off, and I made my first annual turnover that outshone the highest salary I'd ever earned back when I was an employee. Better, than that, I got back a load of energy.

We believe in this so much, we decided to run a program to give something back to women leaving military service, as the service-leaver statistics show that this group especially struggles with finding identity and confidence. Both of us have first hand experience of this. We took on a pilot group of 6 women in our program At Ease... and it worked. Each of those ladies now has made a powerful shift in both inner and outer confidence.

In this episode Tracey talks about what brought her to become a House of Colour consultant, and how she grew her business and expertise in Cornwall, England, and now (since moving back home) from Chattanooga Tennessee. Tracey is open about how learning the language and framework of personal colour and style gave her a way to understand herself, express herself, and how it helped her move beyond trauma.

Here are a few time stamps to guide you:
3:20  Giving people a framework from which to dress confidently. After all, you are going to wear some clothes every day, so why not know how to make them work for you!
8:10 How COVID was the catalyst for some inner work 
12:08 How inner confidence and outer confidence are a balance, if you take either one too far you can start to feel horrible inside usually like you are fake, or that you aren't worth it.
16:15 Tracey helps you understand the framework, but the client gets to do the work so they can evolve
21:15 The Seven Ages of Woman (and how this framework can help men, and trans people, too)
23:30 Why this is not fashion, but sustainable personal style. How dopamine dressing can help uplift yourself and the people around you
27:00 Tracey tells us the one universal colour that we can use immediately, any time, to make a shift in our energy

Join us for Part 2 when Tracey gives top tips and a practical session on how to use that red! And because this stuff is visual and practical, check out the YouTube video we made for you to see for yourself how easy it is to get visible, when you need to be, TODAY. 

One thing you can do right now to get seen AND heard, on your terms, with Tracey Moys House of Color
To continue the conversation with Tracey go on to:
@houseofcolour_traceymoys
http://Facebook.com/hoc.chatt.hixson
https://www.houseofcolour.com/index.php/stylists/tracey-moys-north-chattanooga-tennessee
http://LinkedIn.com/in/traceymoys

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

Saar is a dear friend, LGBT+ activist. When I first met him almost 20 years ago we were living and working in London together, I was so interested in how openly he talked of his experiences growing up as a gay man in a Jewish community kibbutz in Israel. He has had an extremely colourful life and he has a bubbling infectious laugh and wickedly dry sense of humour (you'll hear it in the interview). He came to our wedding in 2006 and bear hugged me afterwards full of joyful tears saying "It was so beautiful, I cried and I cried!", which made us both laugh and cry all the more!

There is little point in me, a straight ally, talking of how growing up homosexual in a aggressive world can be traumatising. Neither Saar nor his community need "spoken for". The LGBT+ voice is loud and proud, and I hope you too will be as moved as I was to hear Saar share some of his deepest moments with us in this episode. Just like many other area that have seen progression in recent years, we can celebrate progress but the work is not "done". Please share this onwards with people you feel might be helped in any way to speak out for themselves or those around them.

I've put some time stamps below to help you navigate, though it was a free flowing conversation so some are approximate:

2:40 Many different challenges in his life, but for this conversation Saar talks to us about coming out as a gay man raised in a Jewish Kibbutz in Israel in the 1980s

4:40 The first time Saar saw a character in a book or film that he could identify with (watching Dynasty with mum) and he learnt from his mum, who he was very close with, that he "could be anything in life just don't be gay".

c8:00 growing up and going to a community school that served the nearby Kibbutzes, exploring sexuality in the face of fear

c15:00 Considers there is something wrong or broken about himself because he didn't want to be with girls, and yet boys who liked boys

c17:00 By the last year of school age 18 he was wholly depressed, introverted, the world was unbearable as he couldn't be himself, because the message was "you don't be you, you be us"

c21:00 Joined Israeli Paratroopers for his National Service to please his dad, but it was a very tough time. 

21:53 After about one year in the Army, he was home for the weekend on leave, and his mum confronted him "are you a drug dealer or a homosexual". 

c30:00 the connection between hiding, being "dragged out", the guilt and the shame

41:55 Saar's 2 pieces of advice. You be you. find people who love you for you. you do you. Find a bunch of people who love you. 

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

This is one of my favourite topics. Because mindfulness after trauma, burnout, or long-term stress can be very tricky. You can end up feeling worse, reactivated, or even triggered.

In this episode I introduce you to the work of David Treleaven, the developer of the Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness approach, and share with you how I combine it with Internal Family systems-inspired coaching (the pioneer of this method is Dr Dick Schwartz) to help my clients move forwards and learn to enjoy peace of mind again.

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]

Welcome to this episode where I look at the emerging idea that trauma is not an illness or a broken-ness, but is in fact "transdiagnostic"... it goes outside, and across specific diagnoses and pathologies. When we see it in this way, we get some insights and freedoms open up.

03:05 Polyvagal Theory - How this amazing nerve, the longest in our body, keeps us safe through fight, flight and freeze response when it senses danger, and how trauma is a body, not a mind response

08:10 Our "modern" social engagement system in the brain and how this shows up in our modern world

11:37 What do we mean by transdiagnostic - cutting across multiple domains rather than single diagnostic criteria

12:19 Early psychiatrists working with soldiers from the World War 1 battlefields, began to consider that people were having a normal reaction to an abnormal event

13:30 The stigma of mental illness

16:19 My experience of release following Havening Techniques.

18:49 Why I think there's a lot of hope now as there are so many ways you can explore what works for you



Essay "Trauma Needs a Rebrand - Trauma, Psychedelics, Limitations of Our Existing Models, and Exciting Alternatives" by Liam Farquhar https://psychedelicpress.substack.com/p/trauma

Bessel van der Kolk - the Body Keeps the Score https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJfmfkDQb14

Peter Levine - Trauma is not an illness, but an injury or wound https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31z0veuNe9c

Polyvagal Theory explained. Somatic Consent Engagement System and Social Engagement System. Matthias Schwenteck  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=27FSiBqEDUs

If you enjoyed this or found it useful please subscribe on the show website, https://refreshingleadership.buzzsprout.com/
You can listen on most platforms,  or scroll through all the episodes on my website here.
I write a companion blog to each episode - they are all on my website here. 

Do please share this link, and if you'd like, give it a rating or leave a review (wherever you listen) will help the podcast reach more people.

Thank you!

To continue the conversation go to:
Website: https://katebrassington.com/ (where you can easily message me)
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kate-brassington/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/katebrassingto3
Email:  [email protected]