Relatively Normal

What we experience in childhood can affect us for the rest of our lives.  If that experience includes trauma, the effects can not only be damaging but also long lasting.  On this week's show, I invite my good friend, Dr. David Pfaff back on the show. David works daily with patients that have to fight every day to overcome the effects of childhood trauma.  From his own words, most of the people that meet him for therapy are victims of some kind of childhood trauma.  

While speaking, Dr. Pfaff also introduces the audience to the ACE test which allows a person to score their possibility of childhood trauma.  This test is a great way to start the difficult conversation of a possible history of childhood trauma.  

We all know this is a tough subject and many people don't want to blame their parents for anything that could be wrong in their present life.  However, as David puts it - this is not about blaming anyone, this is about taking responsibility and doing everything we can to better ourselves.  

You can learn more about Dr. Pfaff at his website:

https://dspcounseling.com/

On this week's show, I welcome Antoine Noble of We Got Next Sports to talk about his organization and how they are working to change the lives of young people in the New York area.  He created this organization to give kids an affordable option to play elite sports.  He focuses on low income and high crime areas to make sure that young people get the proper coaching, leadership and mentorship that is needed to become successful adults.  His work is so vital to changing the lives of so many young people.  Please check out his website and support this great organization. 

https://www.wegotnextsports.org/

https://www.instagram.com/realwegotnext/

https://www.facebook.com/WeGotNextSports

This week, I received a few phone calls from some friends just checking in to see how I was doing.  One call in particular stuck out as we hadn't spoken in a couple years.  It my was from my friend, Bobby, who was just calling to let me know that he appreciated my friendship and wanted me to know.  This was such an amazing phone call and I implore everyone to reach out to someone that you may have lost touch with to let them know how much they mean to you.  

We all grow up and go on different paths.  It's normal that we may grow apart and not speak as much as we used to.  However, that does not mean we lose or forget the memories that we have of our relationships.  Don't be afraid to reach out to someone and tell him how much they meant to you, the positive role they played in your life and let them know how they positively affect your mental health!

We all carry around stress. We all have inner demons that we have the hide under the guise that everything is alright.  We all have to pick our times to be vulnerable while putting on a strong act around the public.  For women, and more specifically black women, the stress and strain that envelops their lives is not only unique but it is harder and heavier than anyone one else's.  Most people know the term "Strong Black Woman" and use it like it is a complement.  However, do you really know how stressful and mentally exhausting it is to have to be STRONG all the time.  When do black women get to rest? When do they get to lighten their load? When is the world going to repay them for the struggle they endure as women and people of color?  

On this week's show, I welcome my guest, Danese Wright of Root Insurance, to talk about this important topic.  She is a self-described "Experienced leader with a passion for driving Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion" who takes educating others about the extra stress of being a black women in modern day America very seriously.

I cannot say enough about Danese - she is smart, strong and a voice for change. The show will be available Monday, 9/6, at 5pm on any platform that you listen to podcasts.

No one ever wants to hear the words "You're being demoted." Whatever the situation is or the reasoning behind it, those are incredibly tough words.  However, many of us hear those words in our professional lives and how we react and respond can go a long way into shaping our future.  On this week's show, I welcome a long time friend, former boss and current mentor, Kevin Chavis of Farmers Insurance, to talk about his demotion.  Personally, that day was a rough one for me.  I cried and it felt like I was losing a friend.  Kevin talks openly about his experience going through a demotion and how he picked himself back up.  

Also, I must add, Kevin and I are really close friends and we bring a lot of levity to this conversation. This is your reminder to always find time to laugh and enjoy the time you spend with your friends.   

What do I know about dating in 2021? Nothing. Other than the fact that it must be mentally exhausting. Honestly, I wouldn't even know how to meet people, how to strike up a conversation and I am almost certain that my anxiety around the opposite sex that plagued me as a teenager would pop back up in my 40s. And that is why my guest this week is the perfect person to talk to you.  Tim Schroeder is a middle-aged, divorced father trying to make sense of the dating game.  And, if things weren't hard enough trying to find the right person while raising a child, 2020 and 2021 have brought us COVID and all the variants.  To some people, it probably feels like the world is trying to keep them lonely and single.  

I appreciate Tim's vulnerability in this episode as he opens up about how it feels to date in today's world.

Too many times, as men, we are expected to hold things in.  We are expected to always be stoic and a rock that others can depend on.  Even though a lot of us try our hardest to be this symbol of strength in our families and communities, it oftentimes leads to burnout, stress, anxiety and depression.  Many times, men do not have the tools necessary to express their emotions in an effective way and end up swallowing most of their grief.  I am here to tell you - this needs to stop.  We all need to understand that men have feelings too and need safe spaces and relationships to do this.  

On this week's show, I welcome a great friend, Karanja Ezekiel, to speak on this subject.  We met a few years ago and from the moment we met, the words and emotions flowed.  We were bonded by the fact that we wanted to be there for each other.  We wanted to be someone that the other person could trust with all of our thoughts and emotions.  We became such good friends in such a short amount of time that you would have thought we had known each other for decades.  I think you will really enjoy this episode.  

Warning: this episode does contain some colorful language.

I am honored to welcome Chris Wells as my next guest on the Relatively Normal podcast to speak about #leadership. Chris is the Head of North American Claims for Digital Partners, a Munich Re company. A few years back, he took a chance on me and hired me to lead a project in a field that I had limited experienced. That interview and job changed my professional trajectory. Since that moment, Chris has been the perfect mentor for me and even though we don't work at the same company, we still speak often. Every time we speak, I gain more confidence and learn so much more about leadership.

Welcome back to the show!  It's great to be starting season 4 and what a show I have for you.  This week, I talk to Matt Ode.  Along with being a cancer survivor he is a motivational speaker, a purpose coach and a newly engaged man.  At the age of 24, he was diagnosed with cancer just as he was in the best physical shape of his life.  Through our discussion, Matt and I talk about the mental side of finding out he had cancer, battling the disease and then working hard through his recovery. Matt's story is amazing and I hope you get as much out of it as I did.  Please follow him on social media and share his message.

https://linktr.ee/matty_ode

https://www.facebook.com/groups/344127003577919/?ref=share

https://www.instagram.com/matty_ode/

On the final show of the season, I have a conversation with the creator and host of the Tall Hungry Girl Talks podcast, Tahira Hayes. I wanted to talk about the inconsistency and unfairness of how we judge successful and talented women who are not married with kids versus how we judge their male counterparts. But, to be honest, this conversation was so much more. We talked about self-worth, the battle to keep fighting when times are tough and how we can all be better friends and allies.

Please visit tallhungrygirl.com to follow and listen to Tahira's show. Like always, my show can be heard each Monday at 9pm est on thaempireradio.com.