Relatively Normal

What is the current mental state of the black man in present-day America?  I could say it myself but I would rather have an open and honest discussion with another black man so we can have a conversation that more of us could be having.  In this week's show, Julian and I discuss topics ranging from the effects of microaggressions to the ongoing relationship people of color have with law enforcement.  When you listen, I hope you have an open heart and an open mind and try your best to empathize with the message.  Julian shows his unique perspective on current (and not so current) events and the lingering results of injustice.  

Also, make sure you are reaching out to the people you care about.  Make a phone call, send a text, or write an email.  We need to do this more often to make sure we are taking care of the ones that mean the most to us.

In this week's show, I welcome Kiah Tiller, a body builder and co-owner of K2 Motions Stretch Therapy, to talk to me about body image.  As a person that shows her body for subjective judgment, I thought she would be the perfect guest to discuss this topic.  Let's be honest, we can't go to a store without seeing a magazine cover exclaiming how to get a "killer body in 2 weeks" or scroll through social media without seeing someone posing with the perfect abs or hair.  Trying to live to an unattainable body image goal can be debilitating.  My goal for this show is to give some insight on how to be more comfortable in your own skin while trying to maintain a healthy and positive lifestyle.  If you wanna learn more about Kiah and the joy she and her husband bring to the people of Eastern, GA, visit her website at https://stretchaugusta.com/ 

In my second conversation with Dr. David Pfaff, I sit down and have a conversation I have wanted to have for a long time - a conversation about suicide.  This is such a tough subject to talk about but it is needed.  In short, we need to talk about it and talk about it often.  People are struggling  and they think they have anywhere to turn for help.  It may be a parent, a brother, a co-worker, a neighbor or anyone you come across in your life.  Most of the time, we don't realize what power our words have when we reach out to a person in need.  Just asking "How are you?" or the simple act of reaching out and saying "I'm thinking about you" means so much to the people in your life.  I hope you can take something away from this episode - it was refreshing to talk open and honestly about suicide.  

Thanks again to Dr. Pfaff and if you have a chance, check out his website: https://dspcounseling.com/

If you work in any size company or corporation right now, you have probably heard or been a part of Diversity and Inclusion Training - it's everywhere. And regardless if you believe it is necessary or not, all the data tells us the same thing: more diverse workplaces are better and more productive places of business.  But, other than the numbers, how do diverse and/or non diverse places affect the people that work there and the customers that they service? Today, I talk with my first return guest, Evan Mills of Root Insurance, about why he believes diversity in the workplace is important, how companies can improve their diversity practices and what we say to people that think diversity and inclusion is not important or necessary.

This episode is my first of many on a new platform: Tha Empire Radio.  I am really excited about this new service and I cannot wait to reach more people to continue the discussion on mental health and awareness.  In this episode, I go back over some of my plans with the show, re-introduce myself and talk to a new audience.  I remind people to take time to work on their mental health, work on validating their feelings and start with the person in the mirror.  I appreciate everyone who has joined me in this ongoing journey in my life and I look forward to the new people who will join me going forward.  

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And be sure to check out all the great music and shows at thaempireradio.com

You know that person you have in your life? That one person - they are not related to you (but they could be), they are not a co-worker (but you would love to work with them), and they haven't always been in your life (but it feels like they have)?  Yeah, that person.  Well for me, that authentic, charismatic, joyful, "live your life to the fullest" person is my friend, Gina O'neal.  When I started focusing on authenticity and being your true self, she was the first person I thought about.  She is an administrator in the Fairfax County school system in Northern Virginia and everyone that works and learns under her are some of the most fortunate people in the world.  Gina brings her authentic self to work every day (and that does not mean she is always rainbows and sunshine).  On this episode, we talk about how she lives her life this way and what challenges she faced in the past.  You have probably heard her before on the "Tall Hungry Girl Talks" podcast with Tahira Hayes (which you should listen to) and now I am pleased to have her on my show.  

Please check out Tahira's podcast here: https://www.tallhungrygirl.com/podcast

What does it mean to be authentic and how can we live an authentic life? For the next few episodes, I will be exploring this topic.  In psychology, individuals considered authentic are those who generally strive to align their actions with their core values and beliefs with the hope of discovering, and then acting in sync with, their "true selves."  That is a lot and it can be hard.  But, I think, living an inauthentic life can be even harder. A few examples would be pretending to be someone we are not to get a promotion or start a relationship.  Little lies turn into bigger lies and we are stuck in a perpetual cycle of inauthenticity.  

Again, thanks for listening and I would love for you to be apart of the show.  Send me any audio clips would like explaining what authenticity means to you and how you can live an authentic life!

What most people already know is that life is hard.  What few fail to mention is that life continues to be hard even when the women in our lives make it look easy.  My wife was unbelievably stressed out the last few days and I tried my best to remind her that her life is difficult.  I did not try to fix her stress or invalidate her feeling - what I DID try to do is help her reframe her thinking so she could see that her best was good enough and sometimes life will beat us up - we just gotta try to get back up.  In this episode, I talk to my wife, Nada, about how much she means to me and to this world.  The world is a better and brighter place with her in it and I want all the men that are listening to make sure they take the time to let their wife, mother, daughter, sister, etc know that, even when the chips are stacked against them, we will be allies for them through every step of the way. 

The end of 2020 is upon us and and many of us can't wait for 2021 to start.  With that being said, a lot of us are going to make some pretty hefty new year resolutions. I am here to tell you not to - it is totally up to you if you listen.  Unnecessary resolutions put unneeded pressure on us and are a recipe for failure.  The process to really improve yourself mentally and physically takes time and attention with limites pressure.  The holidays are already stressful enough; why force yourself to be more stressed?  Take some time after the new year to decompress, take a breathe and then evaluate your mental health and work from there.  

This is the hardest episode I have ever recorded.  With the help of my therapist, I have been trying to grieve my mother's death.  My mother died 2 years ago after a short and difficult batter with cancer.  She was everything to me and my family.  She was the glue that kept us all together.  I was a mama's boy and proud of it.  She and I had some great conversation on everything from my personal life to politics.  I probably inherited her anxiety and, looking back, that is probably what made us so close.  My therapist advised me that writing a letter to her would be a good start to helping me continue to grieve in a productive way.  I took a few stabs at writing but could never say exactly what I wanted to say - so I decided to talk to her on this platform.  This worked and maybe this will work for someone else.  I appreciate you listening to my podcast and, if you have lost someone close, maybe writing a letter or recording a message to them could help you as much as this helped me.  

I miss you, mom.