Relatively Normal

This week I chat with my good friend and coworker, Carl McKinney, about his experiences while being a black professional.  He and I have a candid conversation about the struggles of being a black person in corporate America and what we can do to not only bring exposure to this subject but also what we can do to help the next generation of black professionals.  Carl and I have not know each other for a long time but in that short amount of time, we have become close and had many personal conversations about current events and happenings in the world.  

Also, as I did last week, I would like to introduce you to a new podcast by a very talented young man called The Silent Struggle.  Devan Cobb did a great job of creating a platform for people like him and I to have a platform to discuss our struggles and make sure I voice is heard.  You can listen anywhere you currently listen to podcasts and here is a link to the show: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4rkB06ClrGC9lu1kUoWz3H?si=YlhZnutfSfWFdysGv6cKTg

I'm not racist, buuuuuuuut...

We can do everything possible to change our past, hide our history and pretend the past didn't happen the way it did, but that is impossible.  In America, we have a checkered past (to say it lightly) that consists of slavery, oppression, segregation and so much more.  To make things even worse, we have public statues of slave-owners, segregationist and other men who wanted to keep this country divided.  Now, when we try to remedy the past, there is a large group of people that believe when we tear down these terrible figures, somehow, we are erasing our past.  Here is a newsflash: nothing can erase our past.  However, what we can do it learn from it and try no to repeat it.  This week, I not only venture into our dark past, I do the same thing with my past to show just how we can take teachable moments and learn from them.  

Also, this week I mention a great new website howumommin.com created by a group of talented ladies who write about the adventures of being a mom in this day and age.  Please take a look at the website and if you have a dream of starting a website, blog or podcast, do it.  Just do it.  You have nothing to lose.

With all that is going on the world at this very moment, so many people are starting to open up to having uncomfortable conversations, being in uncomfortable situations and doing what they can do feel more comfortable in these spots. The good thing about being uncomfortable is that it opens us up to progress.  And not just regular progress - being uncomfortable has the ability to allow us to see things from different perspective and break our own biases so we can really start to grow.  A major way that we fail before we even start is due to confirmation bias.  

This week, I talk and break down both of these things because we need to start having uncomfortable conversations and not just rely on those things that tell us that we are right.  We need to move in the right direction because we have been stuck in reverse for too long. 

https://www.inc.com/kevin-daum/7-ways-to-get-comfortable-with-being-uncomfortable.html

Black Lives Matter. Do those words upset you? Do you immediately want to respond by saying "no, All Lives Matter." Why? Do you do the same thing when someone says "Blue Lives Matter" or "Teachers Lives Matter" or any other take on the common phrase?  The answer is most likely no and therein lies the issue.  Before we make any progress in the race for equality, a lot of us need to realize the privilege we live with and how it affects our life and the lives of people around us. I know a few of you might get turned off by the title of this episode.  You may want me to just talk about mental health and well-being.  Well, that is exactly what I am doing.  The current racial climate is affecting mine and so many other people's mental health and we need to talk about it.  I need to talk about it.  Let's start the conversation.

I am tired.  I am worn out.  I am exhausted.  I would say it is because of the last few days but this has been my entire life.  As a black man, I have tried to explain why equality and diversity are good things but constantly my voice is muted and my thoughts are invalidated. When a person tries to express themselves but are continually undercut by those who think they know better, this can lead to feelings of depression, low self-worth and just plain exhaustion.  But, there is always hope. We must continue to use our voice in a way that leads change and inspires others to do the right thing.

This week, I had to talk about the crisis going on in out country right now.  I really had no choice, I am a black man and I needed to get some things off my chest.  People are hurt, people are afraid, people are suffering.  I have had terrible bouts of anxiety about leaving my house and just going into the world.  Will this be the last time I see my family because I may "fit the description?" For many black men, fitting the description is something we have to live with everyday and we rarely, if ever, get justice. I don't want to make this political, I just want to plead to the humanity in all of us and beg us all to do better, be better and expect more out of each other.  To the families that have lost a loved one to a senseless act of violence, I am sorry and I hope that one day you will see justice and find strength in the fact that others are fighting for you.

I did not feel like making this show. I really didn't.  I mean, I wanted to, I just didn't think I had the time and I did not prioritize myself over other things in my life like work and personal responsibilities.  But, in the end, I was a friend to myself.  I acknowledged my feelings and thoughts and then made time for myself.  Recording this show it MY TIME.  It is the time I set aside each week to talk about my feelings and decompress after a hard week - and this week was HARD.  We should all make sure that we make time for ourselves and prioritize our feelings. I hope you can do that and if you can't, reach out, maybe someone can help.

Also, this is the last week of Mental Health Awareness Month and a good reference is the National Alliance on Mental Illness (nami.org).  You can get information on their You Are Not Alone campaign that helps others who may feel just like you. 

Social media is everywhere and we can't avoid it.  It is apart of our live and culture.  And just like other things that surround us, it can and does affect or mental health.  We can become addicted to it and use it as a crutch.  On this week's episode, I dive into the ways social media can help us and how it can hurt us.  Also, I launched my facebook page and streamed this episode live.  You can find it by just typing in "Relatively Normal Podcast" into the search bar.  

This week, someone asked me, genuinely, why I do what I do. Why I talk about mental health? Why I talk about MY mental health and why I do this podcast?  It took me back a bit because no one had ever asked me that direct question.  I had to think about and I decided to dedicate a show specifically for answering that question.  Also, while thinking about talking about why I do something I love, I think we should ask ourselves why we do the things we love.  Also, if you didn't notice. the show's cover art has been updated.  I hope you like it.  Let me know.

We always hear of the beautiful parts of pregnancy and childbirth - how life-changing and magical they are.  Often, we never hear about the mood swings, irritability, sleepless nights or the anxiety and depression.  This needs to change and on this week's show, I am joined by a talented artist, mother, wife and all-around wonderful person, Lauren Santomauro Dawson.  She takes us into her world of postpartum depression and how she finally came to grips with it and worked to cope through it.  We talk about many things including being open and honest with ourselves and therapy.  I cannot thank her enough for allowing me to have this conversation with her.