Relatively Normal

I have wanted to do this show for a long time and I happy to finally be able to say that I have interviewed a rapper! On today's show, I sit down and talk with Skipp Whitman, a music artist based in LA but originally from Boston.  I met Skipp almost 15 years ago while he was performing in Brooklyn, NY. On this episode, Skipp opens up about the mental aspect within a life of music.  He talks about how he motivates himself when he doesn't feel like writing or producing, how his new family has affected his aspirations and priorities, and what his circle of friends looks like.  I hope you enjoy this conversation as much as I did.  Please make sure you check out his music (which is sprinkled through the show) on Apple Music, Spotify, YouTube or wherever you listen to music or podcasts.  Also, make sure to follow him on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

music http://fanlink.to/hmsa 

vids http://youtube.com/skippwhitman 

writings http://skippw-blog.tumblr.com 

fashion http://skippwear.com

ig @skippwhitman

In this week's episode, I dive into the world of Imposter Syndrome and Perfectionism.  For those that suffer from this, you know that all your accomplishments and successes come with a terrifying amount of self-doubt and sabotage.  We feel like frauds and all of the positives get shadowed by the impression that we are frauds and it is just a matter of time before others figure this out.  I welcome a special guest, Bethany Cluff, to share her experience with Imposter syndrome and how she copes with it every day. Bethany recently gave a presentation on this subject that received raving reviews which prompted me to ask her to join the show.

This week's show focuses on the act of checking in with ourselves.  With everything that is going on in the world right now, we have been told countless times to make sure we check-in with the people around us - loved ones, friends, family members, so on and so on.  But, how often are you checking in with yourself?  Like I have mentioned in previous episodes, we need to treat ourselves like we are a friend.  We need to take the time to note how we feel and why we feel that way.  If you are like me and not very good at this, the good news is that it is never too late to start and there are plenty of resources, including the Mood Meter app, that make it easy to start.  So, go out, purchase a nice notebook or journal, a great pen and start checking in with yourself to put things into perspective and assist with your mental health.

In the first episode of the 3rd season of Relatively Normal, I make a major announcement - I am back in THERAPY. This was a long time coming and I have been battling some major anxiety and some depression lately.  I am really looking forward to more sessions with this new therapist and she has given me some great coping techniques to use when I get into dark places.  In today's episode, I go over what I did to find my therapist and explain another part of what I am doing to cope with mental health issues.

Https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists is a great resource to use if you are looking for a specific therapist.  

I am really looking forward to sitting down with a few of you during this season.  Thanks for listening and I appreciate you.

For the final episode of the 2nd season, I sit down and speak with Devan Michael, owner and creator of the Silent Struggle Podcast.  We talk about how, to some, simply the thought of being equal to those less fortunate may feel like oppression.  Devan gives us his thoughts on everything from changing the mindsets of those in power to the illusion of black on black crime to how his generation is changing the narrative on fighting back.  I hope you go to https://www.thesilentstrugglepodcast.com and take a look at all the great work Devan has done and is doing.

Also, thanks again for riding with me for these first 2 seasons.  I will take a few weeks off to focus on writing and building the brand of the Relatively Normal Podcast and look for some cool merchandise coming soon!

One of the main reasons I do what I do is to inspire and motivate - specifically, the people that come behind me.  Even more specific - the young black leaders that will come behind me.  On today's episode, I have the pleasure of speaking with one of those bright and upcoming leaders, Evan Mills of Root Insurance.  Evan and I talk about what he has done in his life to become a leader, the obstacles that he has overcome and the lessons he has for people who will come behind him.  I really love his outlook on life, his outlook on leadership and where he wants to be in the future.  This is another episode exploring the "Black Experience" and I am so pleased by his candidness, his positivity and his approach on how we handle the current social climate in this country.  I hope you enjoy my conversation with Evan!

Who are you? Not the person you pretend to be on social media or the person you are after a few drinks - seriously, who are you? Have you found your true self and are you comfortable with that person?  This week, I talk about finding that true person and being comfortable with them.  This process can be difficult if we are uncomfortable with the complements we receive or the people we associate with are not the best people for us to have in our lives.  In some cases, we may need to rethink if someone close to us is even a friend.  

https://hbr.org/2020/03/that-discomfort-youre-feeling-is-grief?fbclid=IwAR25MplIrDhkERHsRueYgoHlpsbgNps871HHzJO4pp2RZL-ZQGyELAW1aBM

Lately, I have been extremely anxious.  I have gone to sleep with thoughts going 100 mph in my brain.  I have woken up dreading the day in front of me.  In the past, I have been able to pinpoint my triggers and try to cope through them.  But at this moment in my life, I can't seem to pinpoint what my triggers are.  I know a lot of stuff is going on in the world right now including a pandemic, political turmoil, economic uncertainty and so much more - but like I mentioned in an earlier episode, that is not the source of my feelings of anxiousness.  Honestly, between the health care workers, first responders and people sacrificing for the greater good, I see a lot of the positivity in the world.  It is not that I don't see the negative in the world - I just chose to amplify the positive.  

This week, there wasn't a set subject or goal of the episode.  I just needed to talk.  I just needed someone to listen.  We are getting close to the end of season 2 and I hope you are still listening.

Have you ever met a black man and your first thought was "Wow, he speaks so well?" 

Have you ever met a female doctor and felt differently based only on her gender.  

Have you ever met an asian person and assumed they were good at math? 

If you have ever said or done any of these things, you most likely have a certain implicit bias and used a statement of microaggression.  When I was younger, I was constantly teased because of the way I spoke and that lead to my low self-esteem, depression and anxiety.

Lately, I have dedicated a large portion of my life to helping others.  I take time out of my day to set up calls and meetings to make sure those around me are taking care of themselves.  I jump on a phone call, I send a text or I shoot a message to anyone and everyone I know that needs a shoulder to lean on and ear to listen.  But, unfortunately, I rarely do any of those things for myself.  I rarely take time for myself.  I rarely jot anything down in my journal.  I rarely take 5 minutes to meditate.  This is something that I need to work on because I need it.  I desperately  need it.  If you are treating others better than you treat yourself, what are you proving? What are you gaining when you don't take a few valuable minutes out of your day to be a friend to yourself?  I have been asking myself these questions a lot lately.  Through all the ups and downs, ins and outs, highs, lows, in-betweens and everything else, there is always one common denominator: Me.