Have you ever realised a blazing row with your partner might actually have nothing to do with them… and everything to do with your sibling dynamic growing up?

This week on Relatively, Catherine Carr is joined by therapist Lisa Bruton to unpack the huge, and often subconscious, impact our brothers and sisters have on every aspect of adult life.

Lisa, the youngest of three girls (still known by her sisters as “Podgy Poo”), explains why people regularly walk into therapy wanting to discuss marriage, work stress, or relationships… only to spend the session untangling sibling history instead.

From birth order and sibling rivalry to Family Systems Theory, Catherine and Lisa explore why family gatherings can instantly drag us back into childhood roles, whether you were “the responsible one”, “the messy one”, or the peacekeeper in the middle trying to disappear entirely.

The episode also dives into the growing rise of sibling therapy, with more adult siblings choosing to work through past wounds together to improve their future relationships.

At its emotional core, this conversation tackles sibling estrangement, the guilt, shame, and silence surrounding stepping away from toxic family dynamics. Lisa also shares a surprisingly simple way to start breaking free from the labels your family still places on you, without causing a full family fallout.

Featuring brilliant archive moments from past guests including Caitlin Moran, Gok Wan, and Dan Snow, this is a funny, eye-opening, and deeply validating episode that may completely change how you see your family and yourself. If this one hit home, share it with your siblings.

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