ReMake Me

Russ avoids a near disaster on the audio-front, the aftermath of the timeout, why grandparents love grandkids, Justin is sick, Russ had to take a cold shower, dealing with a cat in heat, dudebro nightmare, Russ’s wife brings a surprise treat for Justin, debating sports metaphors, Go Sharks!, the best statutory laws, best ketchup shot ever, Justin ruins magic for Russ and the listeners, Russ drops a timely Uri Gellar reference, how long does it take for all the sand in a hourglass to fall?, pointlessness vs. not having a point, Russ watched the Spanish remake of Death Game, Russ has to feel pretty, Keanu Reeves is not a normal human being and that works for him in most roles, who is coming to the super secret party?, we give exactly one compliment to Knock Knock, baking an Uber, laundry adventures, how not to have an affair, go watch Lolita instead of Knock Knock

Next week: Dagon & The Lair of the White Worm

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Hello to Justin’s Mommy!, best offense is a good defense, Russ tried to tempt Justin with the most vile food imaginable, Russ is confident, yard work sucks, Oreos and nacho cheese, Justin’s mom tells of the most scary movie she can remember from her childhood, an old twist on definitions at the beginning of films, it does not look like David Hasselhoff, is the Hoff good looking?, weird landmarks for good looking men of the 80s, there is more than one race, pop culture geography, the Stand By Me story, it’s 1851, Mom listens to the movie, geography again, creepy mask is creepy, human PEZ dispensers are weird, Russ doesn’t know history either, special treasure, the auditory hallucination incident, bury up, the theme reveals itself, name that muscle, where’s the mercy ending?, the first head canon moment, ridiculously eating chicken, memories of Happy’s Place, unbury vs bury up, Target time machine again, mystery finally solved?, chairs in bed, broken bed frames, how to do test in visual media, being butled is awkward, awkward road trip, another head canon moment, Russ screws over Justin with another game

Next week: Mr. Sardonicus & Rebecca

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Russ tries to relive the moment that we weren’t recording for, it’s 4/20, yo!, the great stove adventure, Justin isn’t really what one would call handy, #legalizeit, Ben’s here now, the podcast starts going North, Russ and Ben wax whimsically about Very Bad Things, a child’s 4XLT, Justin checks out, Radical Russ and the Morning Zoo Crew, Russ had the Daniel Stern van, why do you have 2 vans?, Just hated Jeremy Piven in everything except The Ellen Show, a huge waste of a time machine, this one is for you, Justin forgot what jokes are, combo situation, Sparta is in Greece but is different from Troy, Lois bites it real hard, “on the boy”, the gamification of Walmart selfies, Justin watches old woman shows, Ben the mime, levitating off of the couch, figuring out the twist to immediately be wrong, meat is meat, reversal of fortune, latest of late title cards

Next week: Mr. Sardonicus & Rebecca

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Russ doesn’t know what bubble tea is, Justin is making some progress on the bet, Justin now has six cats – this is his life now, RIP R. Lee Ermey, the obvious pairing, reading the back of the box for the third time on the podcast, Mark McKinney is in a movie with a Chicken Lady and doesn’t play the Chicken Lady, is Kids in the Hall funny?, the sad story of Dave Foley, Andy Dick is the worst, racist old Disney and Looney Tunes, two men who have never seen a diaphragm talk about what they think a diaphragm is, is wrestling real?, his name is Jacob Two Two, beady beady beady, what it’s like to work with Justin, Amazon Prime is amazing – you never need to leave the house, Gary Busey sings in this movie and it’s fantastic, Gary Busey vs. the makeup guy, Keaton vs. Bale, where’s the Fango movie?, there was also a cartoon show, give Bret Hart a break, Bunny What’s Up, metareading, Russ apparently remembers everything Justin has ever said on the podcast, discharge is the new moist, Justin fails at jokes, Hostel is bad and not really gory at all, the other f word, missing the perfect opportunity, Russ has an epiphany, two men who never have to worry about being in a threesome talk about what it would be like to be in a threesome, water vs. air, why do people like these movies?, and then, the movie is way too easy, another game

Next week: Very Bad Things & Cheap Thrills

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Russell “The Audio Guy” Hall, Apps exist and they tell Russ that he is fat, Justin ate all the Girl Scout Cookies, always pick a pee corner, shower thinking, Russ does the synopses this time, Red is adapted from a Jack Ketchum novel, factual and grammatical, some kids are just messed up, Justin has a new favorite word, Tom Sizemore and Robert Englund are basically just playing versions of themselves, the original director got fired during production but apparently everything is cool now maybe, Brian Cox is resilient, surprise?, Jim Varney is not ruggedly good-looking, it’s Sam Elliot, Brian Cox is also in Red, how men drink a can of beer, Russ wants a Zima, Smirnoff and Smirnoff Ice are most definitely not the same thing, Justin is listening to more standup comedy, the famous tight five, a coda to the toothbrush story, saying something profoundly not profound, Red and John Wick are either very similar or only somewhat similar…that wasn’t very profound, Multiplicity is a great movie, Willem Dafoe always sounds nefarious, nature don’t care if you are sad, CGI turd, Alfie Allen is great, Russ had the John Wick car, competitive mode, John Leguizamo is also great, building the mythos of John Wick, One Weird Way John Wick and Lawnmower Man Are Related, Yellow Fever, Keanu gave money to the SFX team and bought the stunt crew motorcycles, guns are usually boring, gun fu is totally not boring, where’s the Jimmy the cop movie?, hit him with the car car, Russ is a horrible human being

Next week: Jacob Two Two Meets the Hooded Fang & Hostel

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Justin isn’t helpful, Russ doesn’t think Justin’s Bitmoji looks at all like him, Russ’s phone beeps again, creating wrestlers in video games, Vegas under 21, Justin tries to teach Russ about alcohol, Thor Ragnarok is great, Russ got new shoes and he is complaining, Justin has to vamp while Russ finds his notes — it doesn’t go well, a movie about a rat won a Golden Globe and was nominated for an Academy Award, nothing happens in this movie, kids always ruin sequels, Corey Feldman kinda got stabbed but not really, Wooooooo! (Flair flop), zoom in and screech — that’s all Ben scenes, Russ is reading one of the many Stephen-King-deadly-sentient-car books, rat puppet show, Russ and his wife bond over making fun of their children, the rats pull off a truck heist, Justin’s OCD and probably autism came out early in life, the best part of the movie is the credits because of the Michael Jackson song, Kleenex made paper towels and for some reason that is incredibly weird, a break to read texts from friend of the show Josh, Easter traditions, is this high school or college?, the jock was the good guy in the relationship, illegal steroid-laden corn for African children, the dog-rats eat a baby!, the dog costumes actually look really good, a misremembered celebrity story about being a bad friend, Mississippi number or number Mississippi? Decide America!, is the dog-in-rat-costumes movie the right vehicle for the 40-something love scene?, go watch This Film is Not Yet Rated, the journey to the center of the VHS closet, how to steal a cop’s gun, obligatory Michael Jackson’s life discussion

Next week: Red & John Wick

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Justin brings the banter, Russ has a bone to pick, Justin proffers his secret to weight loss, something to look forward to for a future episode, there’s a new Leprechaun movie on Syfy tonight, weird theme music that the editor loved, Ernest Borgnine’s secret to youth, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hk1T9XC3XPc, Talk Soup was great and the Joel McHale show is good, a pond that’s good for drowning rats, off mic chat had on mic, throwing rats at actors, the voices are back, Justin has a realization that he is talking about rats as if they were people, Russ believes that revenge is a dish best served with a side of boo-yah, adapted from the movie instead of the book, R. Lee Ermy is R. Lee Ermy, goodnight Clark, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hu60qikT0ks, physical vs fiscal, the remake has to give an explanation for everything, the pace is very fast, Russ doesn’t like Will Ferrell and he is wrong, feelings about feelings, self love habits, Justin’s mind is blown for several minutes

Next week: Ben & Deadly Eyes

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Russ’s kids make him drink, nugget math, horror news, Justin’s house now contains seven cats and a dog, Russ confuses Chinese and Japanese again, daddy does drugs, the gauntlet is thrown down!, ruining Russ’s passion, mooning with your underwear on, what America is all about, maybe us dorks have had parties before, not tapping the keg, one great shot in an otherwise awful movie, Russ gives his take on the Power Rangers movie, weird nightmares, the secret chicken nuggets, are demons asexual?, Russ’s weird plumbing knowledge comes up again, overmorrow, the sad life of lipstick girl, Halloween stories, the unlit cigarette guy, itsaboys, real life pedophile, Halloween Party, “Oh yeah, I recognize that old …”, remember basketball? basketball is pretty great, right?, John Conner is really short, skeleton Charlie bit me, suspension of disbelief and skeletons, bad looking demons, nuanced BJ scene, Justin can’t do accents but Russ definitely can’t pick them out, Russ thinks he’s surrounded by lesbians, sexually transmitted demon, Russ pitches a new lipstick scene, Maid Made, Pump Punk, the stupid magic room is stupid, lazy demons, what happened to John Conner?, fake noose is fake smart

Next week: Willard (1971 & 2003)

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Justin’s room smells funny, gay animals, it turns out Russ doesn’t quite understand why some kid’s dad isn’t as good at coaching as a professional coach, elbow to the knee, playing pretend or making fun of a special needs child?, Justin tells the saddest story he’s ever told on the podcast, a challenge is thrown down, Kevin Smith almost died just to spite us, getting uncomfortable with a message that you agree with a little too much, Russ hates his wife, cults are scary and real and usually run by charming old men, Russ and Justin try to figure out Christianity, Russ wants to buy your gay acorns, John f-ing Goodman, Kevin Pollack!, Kevin Pollack!!!!!!, John Goodman is a National Treasure and you can not deny that, Russ tweeted Lloyd Kaufman about Monster in the Closet to get to the bottom of it once and for all, a literal Deus Ex Machina, Novel Ideas with Russ, Justin finally gives Russ a birthday present, Russ hates Guy Lapointe and he is wrong, ReMake Me merch – coming soon…hopefully, a high school dream finally realized, Russ is fine with guys peeing in movies but not women, the story of how Tusk came to be, is man truly a walrus at heart?, Justin confuses his horror SFX icons, the beauty of stupid things taken completely seriously

Next week: Night of the Demons (1988 & 2009)

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Russ fell down and went boom, old man eyebrows are crazy, little Paul Walker, Dick Clark am I right?, is there any greater joy than spotting a boom mic in a bad movie?, cockroaches are gross, fiveshadowing, I hope you like xylophones, Power Ranger explosions, Jason Statham is great, the Punch of God, destroy all the closets, it turns out that the monster from Monster in the Closet was in the closet, I love him so much…, Russ is going to have a great story next week, I just looked at the IMDb for Monster in the Closet and friggin Fergie is in it! This episode is officially Fergalicious, Pokemon call back from last week, the gay Freddy movie, Probe, exploding parakeet, wrestlers vs. American Gladiators, Freddy transformation is pretty rad, shouting subtext into a bullhorn

Next week: Red State & Tusk

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