ReMake Me

Hypothermia is short, Frozen is bleak, This episode was late, But at least it’s on fleek

Buy the book we’re in and reading for next week! – http://a.co/flgeJ6o

Next week: Troll & Tremors & The Weird

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My girlfriend’s back you better cut out on the double, would Justin be upset if a cat died?, cutting a dog’s nails, need knee pads for your knee pads, go check out Tom Kerosec’s facebook to win merch, go check us out on Breaker!, don’t be involved in any way with hitchhiking, Breaking Bad before Breaking Bad, actors with bad teeth, Henry is the Joker, Russ can’t eat animals that look like animals, Chinese Was-Marts are weird, making movies on the cheap, the moment your mind flips, the world’s worst black market TV salesman, Russ learns about the Super Bowl Shuffle, Jimmy Smits does not look like a cave man, the Michael Rooker story, didn’t nail the landing but good film, these are cold movies, killed by the last sip, the uneasy feeling of following Louis as a protagonist, the bad negotiator, another unsatisfying ending but for different reasons, we don’t have many theme songs anymore

Next week: Hypothermia & Frozen

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Happy Birthday America!, Justin almost drowns, Heavyweights is an important film in Hollywood history, Russ is confused as to what camp is, camp shenanigans, go look at Lebron James’s foot right now, sorry ladies, counting cats, so many litter boxes, Russ tries to shame a guy for buying cat litter, your childhood forgets how boring the first 20 minutes of Arachnophobia is, precious movies, how Jim Carrey was Jeff Daniels’s advocate and very much wasn’t Nic Cage’s, Russ has a new book idea, every mortician is always eating a sandwich, Jeff Daniels is a Delight and John Goodman is a National Treasure, Russ thinks way too much about animals at the zoo, the pay discrepancy of men and women in porn, the podcast gets kinda gross here … I’m not gonna lie, #relationshipgoals, Russ doesn’t like lobster but he probably does, we are totally going to do the MCU movies at some point, Justin totally knows what fun is despite what Russ may tell you, Tripping the Rift, Die Hard … others, $12 and 450,000 favors, Russ’s headcanon, Russ and Justin just recite their favorite lines and scenes from Big Ass Spider!, everybody needs a Jose in their life, can I have my bribe back?, Justin always confuses Insidious and Sinister, Wizard Universe is no longer a site, the Chris Hardwick thing

Next week: Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer & Nightcrawler

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No eating challenge this week, but Russ gives us all an important update on the state of his pen, fat guys talk about monkey bars and the plight of the chubby kid, kindergarten teachers always had a helper, white guilt from a six year old, merry-go-round?, Daniel Negreanu is poker’s Rob Lowe, very different definitions of “camp”, this might be the most Russ and Justin disagree on a movie, Russ likes monsters, worst jump scares, maybe not the best time to talk about creative ways to end it all, Justin explains more magic tricks, Eli Roth talks like the kids talk, we ain’t talking about cigarettes, Russ wanted to punch a child, tunnels and tubes, Russ is a total ladies’ man, new math, go for the fetus, Winnie Cooper vs Topanga, Russ is giving away his kids, isn’t it Ironic?, insightful film criticism, nobody heard that Russ, Lovers in a Dangerous Spacetime, Grant Grant, baby with a tomato, ethnically diverse deer season, I’m lookin’ at the man in the mure, the clip that Russ will make his wife listen to, #blessed, great creature design and makeup, Chekov’s grenade,

Next week: Arachnophobia & Big Ass Spider

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Russ starts things off with a challenge, Justin gets a potential offer, Justin does what Trump can’t, Russ mowed a bunch of lawns, Russ and Justin get really real for an uncomfortably long amount of time, Russ gets distracted by a pen, the weird eight, the kid who could write fancy, the first rule of radio is don’t eat on the air, the kinda sequel, stealing jokes from trailers to bad movies we’ve never seen, the complicated warehouse inventory system, they’re not buns, Russ doesn’t like what is going to happen to his body when he dies, podcasting professionals, google burial vaults, dangling corpses, starting to get drunk on sugar, paper towel monsters, obviously his was better, the Self-Destruction of the Ultimate Warrior is the best thing the WWE has ever produced, does anyone have any insulin?, suicidal coincidences, accidental Burt and Ernie, sugar side effects, Justin is completely out of it, taking 48 for the team, Tarman is awesome, zombies aren’t supposed to talk or think or reason, dying tickles, Why Mosquitoes Buzz in People’s Ears is apparently very violent, hitting the wall, room temperature, going out on your own terms, the runtime lie, https://www.gofundme.com/brian-keene-burn-fund, this ain’t the Queen’s English!, Eli Roth wrote that for Justin, Russ the martyr, when is the post-zombie apocalypse, go watch The Battery…I have nothing more to add to that

Next week: Clown & Slither

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There’s a new Halloween?, movie series with bad naming conventions, Justin’s mom is upset over his (fake) piercing, Justin is a momma’s boy, Russ the audio guy, Russ’s last day of vacation, will Russ fit in the go karts?, Daddy loves tacos more than he loves you, saved by the tattoo challenge, water park physical challenge, more updates from Justin’s mom, Russ’s son had an emergency, first real week at Justin’s new job, also first week of kitty integration, home alone with six cats for three weeks, have you automated your cat life?, found footage done well, dumb Americans try to explain Norse culture, rag doll, Russ buys real low, BS science at its best, Russ doing yoga with his kids, Russ gets to see Clive Barker, how to buy electronics, https://www.gofundme.com/brian-keene-burn-fund, the guilt of charity, the thrill of the autopsy and the ennui of the horror, what are steps three and four?, disappointment about a Bible verse being Bible-y, Eli Whitney again, doesn’t it defeat the point, spoilers for This Is Us, the Romero-Russo schism

Next week: Return of the Living Dead & The Battery

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Justin started his new job, Russ is the audio guy, the email computer, Easiest. Week. Ever., weird conversations, Russ is on vacation, the best-sounding worst idea of all time, the rules of foster care, the far flung future of 1997, nostalgia as a weapon, Russ would probably like Anime, Georgia is a country but it’s not in Africa, I fixed the link, old gum is best gum, Justin just rewatched Temple of Doom, Rufia, brother plot twist?, another Dread Pirate Roberts reference, why is Candyman called Candyman?, still disappointed with the Candyman ending, over the top gore is hit and miss, Russ is a needy texter, it’s Turbo Rider not Turbo Man, how to not nail the interview, making an awkward situation way more awkward, neither movie really nails the build and release of tension, Tony Shalub is a treasure…not on the level of John Goodman but a treasure nonetheless, go watch Black Dynamite (the movie), 3%, absurdism is hard to pull off well, Russ doesn’t get Taz, more on tension, Stake Land should have been a series or nothing at all, the vampire baggage, the vampire mashup, how do they turn?, baby drop, the emotionless man, the spider incident, it’s like half the Lords of Salem symbol, the disappointment of unimportant scenes, how many people dying is a lot?, Russ vehemently disagrees with the premise of a joke, the big reveal and the big letdown, it’s a movie of wasted opportunity, the candy bar game

Next week: Troll Hunter & The Autopsy of Jane Doe

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Justin ate a bad burrito, stories of the Amish, if Justin has a heart attack we won’t release this episode, having parents pick out your health insurance, Russ’s dad bought a lilac bush and was rebuked by his own son, update on the weed garden, go check out Breaker right now! (link below in perpetuity), Russ wants to strangle his kids again, billions of books, Russ coughs directly into the mic, Hellraiser!, this movie isn’t what is on the cover, the look of the Cenobites, Who’s your Daddy?, the history of the box, other Hellraiser books, Hell is scary even to atheists, Clive Barker writes like a madman, our greatest fears, Russ really likes the Candyman, Ted Raimi!, Ted Raimi is not in Sports Night, how do you pronounce aurally?, Cabrini Green, urban legend or serial killer?, chunky monkeys, Hank Williams III, libel vs. slander, the most terrified you’ve ever been, second wind, a billion bees, … and balls!, weird time jump(s), horror in the daytime, cut up from the butt up, too many endings

Next week: Turbo Kid & Stake Land

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Justin starts off by choking on more Hershey’s Gold then tells why he cried all day, Russ has another Cub Scouts horror story, Justin almost hit a giraffe, Russ wins the joke contest early, Russ is MAGAist, the racist lawyer, Charley’s brain snapped, Christopher Lee had an awesome life, Evil Ed wasn’t annoying but just, Eli Roth loved Evil Ed, Russ brings the podcast to a grinding, grinding halt, this used to be a fun podcast, seeing a local celebrity, Russ hates Starbucks, Russ learns what a crooked cross is, what was Jerry’s helper?, Blade and Blade II are great, Blade Trinity is bad, the sequel/remake, androgyny on roller skates, Pumbaa is in Fright Night 2, Russ’s kid is proud of his toilet-based accomplishments, Russ got bullied by 12 year old girls, Peter Vincent is a magician, the world’s worst title card, the remake has great scenes and ideas but still isn’t a good movie, the Queen movie looks great, ethnically weird, the Stretch Armstrong bit, surprisingly dark movies, Russ gets one good pop culture reference in, motion comics are cool but cheap, the worst shot in cinematic history, Russ got a thing

Next week: Hellraiser & Candyman

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Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Tom Kerosec!, catching Tom up on the bet, Russ is offensive, Justin quit his job, this episode not brought to you by Hershey’s Gold, don’t chip Russ’s son’s nails, Russ beats his child, what’s up with the town?, Pablo Honey come to Florida, Paul doesn’t know what a light source is, BBC (big black car), everyone who hasn’t rewatched Waterworld likes Waterworld, charmingly bad CGI, ripping off clothing isn’t easy, digging is hard, Levar Burton is probably a great guy, Justin doesn’t know how to hot wire a car, Christina Ricci, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8mD2hsxrhQ, Russ likes getting scared by Uxia, Tom weighs in after weighing in on bed breaking, worst sunburn story, Russ has intimacy issues, stay for the sting at the end of the video, Russ gets validation, talking on mic about talking off mic, nobody should be surprised that Justin was a big baby at birth, Russ talks about something he doesn’t want to talk about, Russ’s 10 year anniversary is coming up, retail people suck sometimes, Russ has a type, the Doctor!, Russ won’t talk about something he doesn’t want to talk about, Jesus Christ!, the true theme reveals itself, all words are not talking, what more do you want from me?, hey you! give us a review! thanks!

Next week: Fright Night (1985 & 2011) & Fright Night 2 (1988 & 2013)

Uxia by Cohen Over Coen – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7VP5Q9i3gc4

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