ReMake Me

We’re back to Yo, the highlight of Russ’s Thanksgiving was an absence, The Ballad of the Friday Thanksgiving turkey, going out into the country – pointing at a tree – and bringing it inside with you, Russ doesn’t like to know that his food was at one time alive, eating food with the eyes still on it, Russ has a bombshell confession, Russ is into a very specific type of meme, Alexa doesn’t like RWD either, Justin is a Web developer, RWD has the weirdest credits ever, what is happening in this movie?, Russ made a mistake in watching the movie, Russ is a horror masochist, maybe the worst jump scare of all time, they really tried to be clever, 1 Weird Way to End a Friendship Immediately, these guys definitely grew up on Eli Roth films, Justin and Marianne are in a thing on Amazon Prime, the inner workings of Russ’s marriage, a brand new installment of What the Russ?, Russ is impressed that Justin thought about the movie at all, Justin wins a petty dispute and that’s all that matters in the world, maybe the lamest jumps scares of all time, that doll doesn’t look like that girl it looks like a doll, Jacked the Ripper, the point of the reaction shot is to react, Justin tries way too hard to remember pointless trivia

Next week: Black Christmas & Black X-Mas

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It’s episode 100!!!!!, hot DJ MC Fiverr callback (the first of many episode 100 callbacks),  we recorded this a while ago, Justin bought stretchy jeans, Russ has a new game, it turns out that Get Out is about race — who knew?, a new voice on the podcast! Welcome, Jason!, Timecrimes > Primer, Tom doesn’t know who people are, Russ has an issue with Get Out that it turns out is the point of movie, more 100th episode callbacks, dead uncles, okay — this is the point in the podcast where everyone just completely dumps on Justin for making a movie in high school — it goes on for a while, best DVD box pull quote ever, Josh has Little Lazarus head canon, 33, Ben holds nothing back, Justin’s mom writes a poem, Russ goes over the rest of Justin’s YouTube page, Justin and Tom finish the segment by getting really real, everyone makes their pitch for ReMake Me: The Movie, Justin puts himself and Russ in Ghostbusters 2: Double Trouble, Saxophone Ryan just starts reciting the plot to Corky Romano, Tom Kerosec puts Justin in the mermaid costume again, MP Josh basically makes something up poorly on the spot, Ben reads the back of the ReMake Me: The Movie DVD, Russ goes all out and whips out a script for an impromptu table read, Russ can really write Ben perfectly, thank you to all the listeners and the people who read these stupid notes for 100 great episodes! Here’s to 100 more! (that was cheesy, wasn’t it? I can never stick the landings)

Next week: RWD & Razors: The Return of Jack the Ripper

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Happy Thanksgiving!, Justin is going to have three Thanksgivings, Russ’s casual family holidays, House 3 is and isn’t House 3, Russ wants to make the obscure horror characters version of Mystery Men, why does an electrical being use the furnace so much?, elevator thoughts, House 3 is a really mean movie, clepto-fraud as a character trait, the cat in a weird place jump scare, Russ explains the non-trash hole, if you can avoid getting your arms cut off please do, the only good Ernest stories from the director’s book, Justin forgets how to be told a story, Justin calls the chest stigmata, a bad execution, how do women put on eye makeup and still have eyeballs?, Russ is an adult, the second worst kiss ever on film, who wears their watch to bed?, putting on your glasses to answer the phone, Jenke turkey, Justin forgets when Seinfeld started, nobody cares about the table being destroyed, spike the baby, the Maglite poster, the longest snakebite story ever, a tire hit Mary in the face, apparently there is a House 5 & 6, hypothetical Russ searching for House 3, Russ confesses to cheating to win radio contests, House 4 is a sequel to House 1 in that it’s not at all about anything that happens in that movie, burnt to pain, the weirdest Mr. Bean pull ever, read the Parent’s Guide for House 4, Vinny died of AIDS, what is up with the lady at the 24 minute mark?, the commentary is no help, sorry folks — more audio problems, the actual worst film kiss of all time, watch Little Lazarus: https://youtu.be/EJ9eu0Erj8U

Next week: Get Out & Little Lazarus

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It’s a House party! (when we make it huge and have an intern type up these notes, I’m going to miss these stupid jokes), Justin got a new roommate, Russ segues way too soon, Russ’s Halloween costume idea, making ice cream soup, Justin wants to name a new segment (stay tuned), Russ might need to check himself, House is a movie about a house, Grocery Boy and Old Hag, the 80s are like now but worse, what is corduroy?, a casual near-fatality, that one episode of Quantum Leap, Work Russ’s alternate history, George Wendt is a darling, boom mic shadow!, the best characters in the movie, the best puppet reference ever, the house is the true villain, fat skeletons, the movie turns on the radio, the first episode of What The Russ?, the segment needs some work, Russ’s night shirt, murdered by ghosts, the two ice packs that exist, more casual graverobbing, good guy zombie, Visit the Old West!, the odd comfort in knowing you will at least die quickly, the joke that costs Jesse his girlfriend, Gramps must have just gotten beat up all the time, Bill the Electrician and Adventurer, Remake Mystery Men, the worst scene in the movie for someone to walk in the room, apparently Russ understands this movie, the darkest timeline

Next week: House 3 & House 4

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Russ and Justin are exhausted, we recorded episode number 100 so look out for that in three weeks, Russ has a Michael Myers nightmare, dreaming to completion, apparently the Adam Sandler special on Netflix isn’t complete garbage, the tale of the pre-100th escape room, everyone has one moment of genius and complete stupidity during an escape room attempt, Saxophone Ryan’s 1-in-a-million moment, confusion in franchise movie naming, The Curse of the Blair Witch, the thumbnail image for every Blair Witch Project video on YouTube, muddy-ing your mythos, the making-of, Russ hates fun (and Anchorman), the fan theory about the true nature of the Blair Witch Project, Russ left his house to see a movie, the tragedy of the PG-13 biopic, Russ will be having Mike Myers nightmares, The Blair Witch is too slick, did the Legend of Zelda come with a map? if only there was some device where we could find this out, the ghost camera, the drone that was meaningless, the movie is just frustrating

Next week: House & House 2

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Strap in….this is a long one, Russ and Justin start out trying to solve racism again, it’s Luke Perry not Jason Priestly, Justin had to get a joke in, Blood Diner is terrible and dumb and great and you should watch it with friends, ADR cops, Sea Monkeys bred racism, Russ’s white guilt, the business side of naked aerobics, there aren’t that many sound effects in the movie, hush puppy head, the nuances of Valentino and ventriliquism, the intricacies of ill-gotten organs, archaeologists in movies are always in a hurry, a long talk about wrestling in the 90s and early 2000s, Russ’s new Instagram idea, a phone is not a radio, the ReMake Me episode that wasn’t, deep talk about the Haunting of Hill House, Russ reads Justin’s notes for Ice Cream Man, wandering Marianne, Jan Michael Vincent cashed a paycheck and no more, we start talking about Kanye West for way too long, Russ can’t math

Next week: The Blair Witch Project & The Blair Witch

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An episode a year in the making!, the ups and downs of the theater experience, rock intricate atg the MtG Community, the 2019 #MeToo pool, it was Body Count which was Ice-T’s group, welcome to 2018, paying royalties to Ronald McDonald, “His name is Paddington!”, another Russ therapy moment, Cult of Chucky is a Chucky movie but not a good one, this movie is full of cognitive dissonance, apparently shocking a person’s brain is still a thing doctors do, the giant building that is filled with 3 employees inside and one outside, the Fruit Stripe Gum/Toys ‘R’ Us connection, Russ is exactly wrong twice, the secret them of the episode is women who smother their babies with pillows, the world’s worst psychiatrist, do Asian women get type cast as stuck up? 20/20 investigates, lame kill lines, the cleverest/most disappointing part of the film, the terrible “ending” to the movie, go watch The Haunting of Hill House, how Justin experiences emotions, breakfast, Jigsaw is a Saw movie but not a good one, uninspiring traps that are both too simple and too intricate at the same time

Next week: Blood Diner & Ice Cream Man

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Russ is the audio guy, how Maniac and Jaws are related, the guy who isn’t Cuba Gooding Jr., Who needs subtlety? vs. SUBTLETY!!!, Kieth David tells urban stories to a robot, Russ goes to bat for his kid and watched all the Jackass movies together, it turns out that Dumass Beach is a real douche…who would have guessed?, Russ overvalues the collection of a fake backwoods museum, horrible giant felt suit, are we being racist just by saying the name of the thing?, the lifecycle of a doll, ePIMPhany, (don’t) send Peter Popoff money – he’s a terrible person, explaining Cards Against Humanity cards to friends and relatives, the non-coolness of coming up with a secret handshake, judicial jacking, the origin of term gerrymandering, the science of watching people run over animals, jump and tuck, going over the oeuvre of Darren Aronofsky, let’s start at the very beginning – a very good place to start, the camera stalks Jennifer Lawrence, a literal heart beating house, Russ tries to be a good host, ding dong my wife is here, who throws someone’s wet laundry on the floor?, what was the old timey yellow powder?, the crowdsurfing baby, the tiniest neck snap, the finer points of the English language, the most surface level ‘allegory’ ever, they lied to me bro!

Next week: Cult of Chucky & Jigsaw

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Justin got back into Magic the Gathering, Disney keeps remaking their animated films into live action films, Justin drops his first bit of comic trivia of the episode with a nugget about Ant-Man, IMCDB is apparently a thing, data nerds are the backbone of the internet, Russ doesn’t have baseboard heat, alas and alack, it’s just a giant carrot, importing DVDs from Korea, one of the poles, waking up for coffee, the subtle sexiness of 50s-era women, literal peacocking, another Gallagher story, the most dangerous scene in movie history (but probably not really), Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin were the true stuntmen, Russ’s latest adventures in parenthood, The Thing is a perfect movie and a prequel that fetishizes the original was completely unnecessary, the alien running around looks terrible, Tormund Giantsbane!, Justin was never going to like the prequel but it’s still not good, the one clever thing in the 2011 movie, how to make a perfect movie more perfect, Justin’s The Thing head-canon, movie de-aging technology brings in so many possibilities, Chris Evans probably didn’t take steroids, we met Wilford Brimley while he was on a hover round, Justin drops some more comic trivia on Russ this time about the Joker

Next week: Tales from the Hood 2 & Mother!

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Justin is sick an nasally, Russ recalls his SATs and being sick during the test, Russ’s youngest got his tonsils out and apparently that is going to be a thing, Russ had the talk with his son, a boy named Jody, Marianne’s theory about 70’s movies is totally confirmed by Phantasm, Phantasm is basically the Bible, weird lady/Tall Man is maybe a weird snake lady?, are dinosaurs reptiles?, Justin’s Phantasm notes, tucking it in to tight jeans, more casual breaking and entering, What if Angus is no longer a Tall Man?, Semitic moments, adventures in escape rooms, did the escape room break the rules? you be the judge, or don’t, Theseus’s hatchet, Russ’s hatred of fantasy is completely vindicated, Justin on cold medicine is just Russ but nicer, Russ takes it to a weird bad place again, Six Ways to Sunday, we don’t live in a fun world anymore, the sad end of Under Arrest, Scatman Cruthers as Bing Bong Johansson, this door can not be opened, DoA physics

Next week: The Thing from Another World & The Thing (1982 & 2011)

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