Repeat or Delete

We got a twofer in this episode with our first ever sequel and first ever returning guests, the lovely folks from Monorants as we take you through the Kevin Sorbo vehicle Tales of the Ancient Kingdom which is a sequel to The Sword and the Sorcerer.

You will find out about overuse of flashbacks, cardboard cities, forbidden sexual practices, cloak pass the parcel, christmas decorations and rug based pratfalls.

The gangs all back together for our first Hallmark film of the year, the 2015 classic "Hello, It's Me".

The simple story of a woman who's husband is lost at sea and still gets great cellphone reception. Also features annoying kids, the worst superhero ever and that fella that looks like a melted Steth Mcfarlane.

As a little break before we plough back into the fetid quagmire of our usual subject matter, we decided as per the tradition to have a small break and play James' Quiz of the Year which relies on us being able to remember things about the films we have reviewed this year.

It goes about as well as you would expect really (that is, James tries his best and everyone else just mucks about like daft kids)

As a Christmas treat to ourselves we decided to cover a film that should be terrible but is surprisingly great with 2023s Its a Wonderful Knife. Its not just a terrible pun!

We would also like to say thank you to everyone who has listened, shared or helped us out in any way this year. It's been tough but we made it to the end.

We also know that Christmas is a rough time of year for a lot of people and so if you are feeling low or whatever just know that there are services out there that can help you, not just at this time of year but whenever you need them.

Samaritans Open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year

Call: 116 123

Papyrus

Hopeline UK for children and young people under the age of 35 who are experiencing thoughts of suicide and anyone concerned that a young person could be thinking about suicide.

Call: 0800 068 4141

Calm Open 5pm – Midnight every day

Call: 0800 58 58 58

Shout Crisis Text Service

A free confidential number you can text any time – day or night. Text SHOUT to 85258 to get text support

Switchboard – LGBT+ Helpline

Call: 0300 330 0630

Open 10:00 – 22:00 every day

Or if none of that appeals and you just want to talk bollocks with some idiots, both ours and Marks twitter DMS and stuff will be open so get us on there.

Have a Happy and safe Christmas you lovely lovely bastards

We are heading into Christmas season and with that in mind we bring you the 2013 classic "Mr Scrooge to See You" starring David Ruprecht as some kind of Scrooge who has to go into the future to stop Bob Cratchits offspring from being a Neo-Miser or something. Its very long and nothing happens for a lot of it.

You'll hear all about Zammo's calculator, homeless teeth, terrible business sense, the worst santa in the world, EDM soundtracks, oil drum fires and James best Only Fools & Horses impression ever!

Look at this! An almost proper film. Some might say that we have lost our way somewhat but those people would be liars who deserve to be swung about by a Mahar captain.

We are of course talking about the 1976 classic At the Earth's Core starring Doug "Doug" McClure and Peter "Whoopee" Cushing in a tale about blokes drilling erm.. to the earths core. There they meet strange pig faced men and strange rubbery beasts as well as ladies with not many clothes on!

You will hear so many Simpsons jokes, the sounds of prehistoric monsters, Sexy Eggs, important field advice for drilling and James' favourite banner in a film so far!

As we wend our way deep into autumn (or fall if you are like that) we bring to you 2013s The Thanksgiving house, the simple story or a law lady who inherits a house with a mysterious secret. No not like murder or anything, a nice secret.

You will hear all about correct knotweed removal, core samples, the worst post office ever, BLOGS!, so much steak and a nice story about a river.

Running headlong into the spookiest of weeks we present to you 2014's WolfCop which is as dumb as it sounds. The story of a Canadian cop who for reasons is turned into a werewolf and yeah, I don't know either.

You'll hear all about donuts, bad druids, Marc Bolan, correct egg preparation and many other things in a film that should not be.

Robin Hood: Beyond Sherwood Forest

We may have been away for a little while but we are back now, to take you through the most accurate Robin Hood film since that one with the snake voiced by Terry Thomas. and that had a talking snake.

You'll hear all about poor arrow technique, the songs of Space Sting, James suffering from a malady and Mark defending his beloved hometown through the traditional jokes.

We are joined this week by a familiar voice to take you through the 2020 classic Palm Springs starring Jake Peralta and that angry guy from the Spiderman films. Yeah, we know its not a Hallmark film but we think we have earned this as a treat.

As usual its the normal mix of time travel, confusion and wondering what is it that makes a name.