Reporting As Eligible

On this episode of Reporting as Eligible, Paul, Matt, and JR discuss the futility of the Minnesota Vikings, and the dangers of hiring your kid, the pointlessness of starting Sean Mannions, the real cost of Kirk Cousins not playing, Aaron’s brilliance, Allen’s ascension, and Davante making it look so, so easy.

Paul also stopped by our good friends at Cheesehead TV, where he had the chance to ask AJ Dillon a few hard hitting questions. AJ, by the way, is now 2nd among RBs in yards per target, and first in RB success rate. Finally, they talk about how to handle the second bye week that is the Lions’ game, Amon-Ra St. Brown, the imploding Bucs, and of course, lots and lots of David Moore.

Thanks again to AJ Dillon, Aaron Nagler, Corey Behnke, and Cheesehead TV.

Intro: Skyway - The Replacements

Mid: The Trees - Rush

Outro: The Trees - Flint (For the Unemployed and Underpaid) - Sufjan Stevens

On this episode of Reporting as Eligible, Paul and Matt recap the narrow win over the Browns, whether these one-score games are becoming a problem, how DVOA may spell an early exit from the playoffs (or not), passing when you average eight yards per carry, and Baker Mayfield sucking.

They also go over the legacy of John Madden (something near and dear to Matub’s heart), and how he was not just some goofy announcer with a video game franchise,

Finally, the boys preview the mess that is the Vikings, Adam Thielen’s injury, Davlin Cook’s return, Kirk Cousins’ dopiness, and why they’re still scary even though they’re stupid quitters.

Plus, listener questions!

Intro: Hastily Created Cleveland Tourism Video 3

Outro: The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota - Weird Al

On this episode of Reporting as Eligible, Paul and JR discuss the Tyler Huntley bowl, what the young quarterback showed us and where he struggled, Mark Andrews against Darnell Savage, Hollywood’s poor opening, Aaron Rodgers using the other weapons for once, Marcedes and Tyler, some weird running decisions, and two-point analytics.

They also cover the Browns, who were hit hard by Covid, but are also having a disappointing season, partially because they overperformed last season, and partially because Baker Mayfield is unfortunately, “just a guy.” Their stars and scrubs defense will also be without some key people, and the guys discuss just how good an offense can be when it’s anchored by running backs and Donovan Peoples-Jones.

Plus listener questions on analytics, journalism, and what Paul would be willing to give up to get Tyler Huntley.

Intro: Cleveland Tourism Video

Outro: Burn On, Big River - Randy Newman

In this episode of Reporting as Eligible, Paul, JR, and a returning Matub recap the Bears as much as humanly possible before discussing special teams. There is the brilliance of Rodgers and Adams, of LaFleur, of Allen Lazard as a big slot, Aaron Jones in the passing game, Marcedes, Josiah, and the unsung offensive line!

They praise the defense, the transcendent Rasul Douglas, the sublime Rashan Gary, the highly motivated Preston Smith, and ruminate on whether they would have Douglas if Alexander had been healthy all year. Kenny Clark is a wrecker, and maybe Campbell is still recovering, but he’ll be fine. The defense: Pretty good!

And then they talk about special teams for like, a long time. And the history of bad special teams, and all-time good kick and punt returners. And Tyler Ervin, and Jeff Janis, and stuff like that. I mean, they rank last in Special Teams DVOA, and last in several subcategories of Special Teams DVOA, and they really need to fix this!

Finally, they take many good listener questions, and Paul rants about Tyler Huntley, his very high college QBOPS and CPOE, why he is good, and why getting an injured Lamar Jackson is probably better for Green Bay.

Intro: Baltimore - Tori Amos

Outro: Theme Song - The Wire

It’s Bear week on Reporting as Eligible, and Paul, JR, and special guest Tyler Brooke prepare by drafting all of their favorite instances of the Green and Gold embarrassing Chicago, from Jay Cutler, to some late game Majik, to Randall Cobb doing it again, plus a few golden oldies.

The guys then preview the upcoming game, and discuss how the Bears got to this point, all of the mistakes they made, and take a crack at a plausible scenario for a loss. It’s not easy. Finally, in listener question time they discuss famous Bear move of the past, the best Bear coaches, and what the future may hold for Chicago and Green Bay. Also, Tyler tells a story.

Intro: Bound for the Floor - Local H

Outro: 88 Lines About 44 Bears Quarterbacks - Paul

On this episode of Reporting as Eligible, Paul and JR recap the Rams game, the terrible effort from Matthew Stafford, the MVS-like effort of Van Jefferson, the general trouble the Packers have with Jeffersons, and Joe Barry as a potential head coaching candidate after the season, which is just brain-destroying to think about.

They also heap praise on the defense, especially Rasul Douglas, Adrian Amos, and Rashan Gary, criticize PFF grades, rely on PFF grades, discuss their most feared playoff opponents, tell you if this was a “Mason Miss” or not, and answer all kinds of listener questions, from the difference between kick and punt returners, to how AJ Dillon stacks up to Eddie Lacy, to how lon Yosh will be on this team, and where he plays, and how good he actually is!

Finally, on next week’s show we will be preparing for the Bears by making fun of them.

Intro: Bye Bye Bye - NSYNC

Outro: Exit Music (For a Film) - Radiohead

On this episode of Reporting as Eligible, Paul and special guess Evan “Tex” Western return to all of the weirdness that was the Vikings game. The dropped picks! The penalties! The missed field goals. They also talk about how not weird the missed field goals are, how Justin Jefferson is awesome, Paul’s brush with stardom, Thanksgiving side dishes and EQ’s future playing time.

The guys then proceed to the Rams, and how they have a better quarterback, and a healthy Aaron Donald against not-Elgton Jenkins, and a healthy Cooper Kupp, and sort of cower in fear. But they also provide at least a smidgen of hope based on recent performances by Matthew Stafford and some poor run defense. Plus listener questions!

Intro: Cups - Anna Kendrick

Outro: Los Angeles - Frank Black

On this episode of Reporting as Eligible, Paul explains why your Packer stock is perfectly fine stock, and why everyone who wants Packer stock trading on the Nasdaq is a dope while Matt revels in his newfound ownership, and his TV appearance. JR then leads a discussion of the Packers pantsing of the Seahawks, especially on defense where the team recorded its 13th shutout since the merger. Is Joe Barry good? Is Kevin King good? What has gotten into Preston Smith? Can just any old person be good at football now if they join the Packer defense?

They also discuss Aaron’s issues with the deep ball, his murderball to Allen Lazard, Dillon’s dominance running and passing, Amari Rodgers uning left, and Josiah Deguara just not being the dude.

Finally, the Vikings are sneaky good but also sneaky bad, and Klint Kubiak got his job through perfectly legitimate means. Plus listener questions!

Intro: Little Red Corvette - Gear Daddies

Outro: The Biggest Ball of Twine in Minnesota - Weird Al

Hi everyone,

This was a part last week's minipod and a few of our Patrons requested it be opened up in the main feed, so here it is. If you want a point-by-point breakdown of Aaron's McAfee appearance last week, logical fallacies, and what makes a lazy skeptic, this is for you. If you're sick of Aaron and Vaccines, skip this one, we'll be back next week with a regular football show. 

Reporting as Eligible - Love in the Time of Covid

On this episode of Reporting as Eligible, Matt, Paul, and special guest JR Radcliffe discuss the one of the worst special teams performances ever, Jordan Love’s struggles, how much of that was his fault, what he needed to do better, what was doomed, and Matt LaFleur’s rough day.

On a brighter note, they also cover an amazing day from the defense, and Krys Barnes in particular, though Rashan Gary and DArnell Savage were also outstanding. Finally, they preview the Seahawks, discuss how this could look a lot like the Kansas City game, Jamal Adams as a difference maker for good or ill, and listener questions!

Intro: Ballroom Blitz - Crucial Taught

Outro: Under Pressure - Queen and David Bowie