Resilience Unravelled

Through counselling, Gam anon and researching addiction, Erica managed to separate the person from the addiction. The person she married was not the person who did those reckless things, but there was much anger and hurt. She couldn't throw the towel though because she knew it was his addiction that was causing his behaviour.

When she first found out about the gambling she felt duped and angry but looking back she realised there were some missed red flags. Patrick would always have a reason for why her debit card didn't work and she believed him but now she thinks should she have demanded proof or better answers?

Camp Jabberwocky was one of the first sleep over camps for people with serious disabilities. In 1953, UK actress Helen Lamb was working in Massachusetts as a speech therapist. She worked with some children who were in wheelchairs and it made her angry that they were unable to enjoy the summer experiences other children had. In the summer of 1953 she took three kids and one helper away for the first time. 68 years later the camp is part of the fabric of the area.

Dr Steven Gardner was introduced to Camp Jabberwocky through his son Graham who was born with Cerebral Palsy. During his abbreviated 22-year life, Graham Gardner was unable to speak or to walk on his own. Yet he forged meaningful relationships wherever he went. His Cerebral Palsy forced him to rely on other people but he accepted his reality, lived in the present moment, reveled in relationships, and exuded radiance around him. He personified joy and he lived love. 

When we lose someone we love, especially if we are involved in an accident and have survivor’s guilt, we need to see that there is a reason we are still here and tap into it. We need to look for a path forward and see the good that can still come from our life. The loss will still be there but if we can work through the pain then we can look forward and see that although life is different, it can still be great.

We will all experience loss and grief at some point and most of us are uninformed about what is normal and what is not. Support is essential and we need to find meaningful support systems that will encourage us to build certainty of hope so we understand that rebuilding our life is possible.

Steven R Campbell, MSIS, worked in hospital administration for twenty years before acquiring his Masters at the University of San Francisco and going on to pursue his greatest love, teaching. As a University Professor and Educational Dean in Northern California for the last 20 years, he now presents an eye-opening look at how our brains conform and how optimise the messages we give them, so they literally rewire themselves to create new, positive self-images of how we see ourselves, and who we want to be. In this podcast:

• Steven talks about discovering how your brain learns from your thoughts and the information you feed it.
• Understanding how your brain believes and accepts everything you tell it.
• Learning to think in new ways that will help you make positive life changes.

Resilience can be seen as a deep well of resources that resides in each of us. It's more than just bouncing back, it’s about reaching our personal or professional goals with the minimum unnecessary difficulty, whether it’s physical, emotional, spiritual or physiological.

There are many things that can deplete resilience. Our life circumstances, not learning how to deal with problems and being inflexible in how we deal with them, not learning how to work with our own thought processes and not investing in the relationships that support us during hard times.

This week on the podcast, Dr Russell Thackeray talks to Laura Khoudari who is a trauma practitioner, certified personal trainer, and corrective exercise specialist whose work grew out of her own experience healing from trauma.  

Laura designed an holistic program to support her own treatment for PTSD that combined talk therapy, mindfulness, bodywork, and strength training. Realising there weren’t more people in the fitness space equipped to help clients living with trauma, she decided to become the trauma informed personal trainer and coach she wished she had had.

If we are too preoccupied with the past and the future, going back over memories and worrying about what might happen, with no real solution or plan fear can take over. We need to become more aware of our own thoughts so we can pull our attention back to the present and reconnect with our ourselves in the now where fear cannot exist.

Mindset prepares us for some of the most important conversations in our lives. Whether it’s going into a competition or a boardroom meeting, we need to ask ourselves and others the right questions.

What mindset do you want to go in with? Are you ready? What part of your experience do you want to share today? With the right mindset you get the best outcome.

Maladaptive perfectionism can lead to anxiety, depression, burnout and even suicide. Nothing is ever good enough and perfectionists constantly battle between 'good' and 'bad' perfectionism. The key to dealing with maladaptive perfectionism is to create equilibrium to regulate experiences, develop self-management techniques and learn self worth.

We all need fortitude or inner strength. Our day might not be perfect but we can take control of our life despite of what’s coming our way – we can deal with what we’re going through because we’re strong and have fortitude. It’s about having a mental narrative and giving ourselves positive messages. Gratitude is the umbrella. It’s a state of being thankful, a place of joy or love which over time starts to grow and change your mindset.