Resilience Unravelled

Whatever the size of a dispute, the issue at hand is usually not the problem. People generally prefer peace so only involve conflict if they feel there is no other way to get resolution. As we are not generally trained in ways to resolve conflict it is difficult to know how to deal with anger or upset without being triggered yourself. One of the key foundational skills of life therefore is learning how to listen to other peoples emotions. This can help in developing an emotional database and provides a way of avoid the trigger that causes getting upset or anger when someone starts yelling at us.

MS is a life limiting illness but people can choose how to look at it, deal with it and live with it. It can be very easy to feel out of control and slip into a depressive zone but manipulating the way you use your brain can help deal not only with MS, but also other illnesses or situations. 

As well as mindset, there are many other things that can interfere with how your body functions. What you eat, drink and put into your body is important as is having a support circle and someone to talk about your MS to. Other things such as home cleaning products can also have an effect on your body and how it functions.

There are many types of yoga. Hatha, Vinyasa, Kundalini, Restorative and Laughter for example, and Paul Denniston uses elements from each in his Grief Yoga practice. Paul designed Grief Yoga to help with his challenging emotions of anxiety and grief by releasing pain to fund more empowerment and love.

Paul feels that we can have physical pain in the body that is a manifestation of suppressed grief and thatbBecause everyone grieves differently, it appears in different areas of the body such as the back, neck, stomach, pelvis or chest.

Derek Newborn had always had a vision of how his life would be. He achieved everything he thought he wanted but, on the inside, abandonment issues from his past meant he felt extremely empty. The only thing he was concerned about was filling the emptiness he felt. and he used self-sabotaging behaviours to try to find the peaceful feeling he felt he was missing. Derek's fear outweighed any love he had for his family and partner and he was just focused on not being abandoned. The abandonment process though actually pushes people away so through his self sabotaging behaviours, Derek created everything to was trying to avoid.

When Clarke was diagnosed with Polymyositis he was depressed, angry, mad at the world but also helpless. Because the disease had progressed very quickly it was difficult to understand what was happening and as his body was declining, his mind was driving him downward as well.

At the time Clarke didn't really know how much mindset can affect physical health but an experience he had when he thought he was going to die changed things and he realised he had something to live for. This change in mindset led to a change in physiology and Clarke now feels that mindset was the key to this and, we can do anything we want if we focus on what we say to ourselves and what we believe.

Nicki feels that we don’t talk about grief and loss and what we go through in the early days enough. There is a lot of information about grief but lots of it is irrelevant. We need to have an idea of hope and a path towards it but we don't need to have someone telling us it'll all be great. Logically, we know we’ll come out the other side and that we’ll get back to what will be a new normality without the person we’ve lost.

Jeff Martinovich has had many dark days but, when he looks back on the things that happened, he feels the key to getting through was perseverance and resilience. He thinks you have to dig deep to find strength you maybe don't know you have so you can find a way to keep fighting and grow so you can deal with even bigger challenges.

Kathy Hagler partners with organsations through good times, crises, challenges, and obstacles, and helps to move their culture, climate, and character forward with clear vision, strategic intent, and success in an everchanging world. She says that organisations are similar to human beings - both have wounds and, like people, organisations can break and can heal. 

We all carry wounds in our bodies, minds, and spirits that can hinder our lives at work and at home. Using her own journey, the philosophy of wabi-sabi and the Japanese art of kintsugi, Kathy helps pinpoint the root of pain, suffering and distress in an organisation and its people and then transforms it by by building character, trustworthiness, and resilience.

David’s Richman's career working for a Wall Street firm was incredibly stressful. He suffered from both external and self-inflicted stress, was overweight and a smoker, did no exercise and had four-year old twins, as well being in a relationship with an abusive alcoholic. He needed to make a change but it wasn’t until his only sister was diagnosed with terminal cancer that he started to change his life around.

He says it was like a light switch going on. His whole life he had been trying to be an overachiever for other people. Whatever it was doing he was looking for external gratification. Eventually he understood the concept of having to do things for yourself and when he realised this, he took control of his life.

Eating disorders cross gender, race, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic groups and are among the deadliest of mental illnesses. Anyone caught in the downward spiral of continually obsessing about food, weight, and body image, needs support to free themselves. People not suffering from an eating disorder often believe that saying “No!” to self-destructive behaviors should be easy but it’s not. It can be a daily struggle with no single solution. Instead it’s a journey of stops and starts but, through learning various strategies, it is possible to break its hold.