Resting On Pretty

Hey, how’s your year going? Pretty great? Great? We’re coming to you, our dear listeners, to let you know that we’re going to be taking a brief pause on the show while Cassie recovers from a medical procedure. We love you and hope you’ll listen on with us when we return!

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We’re back! Happy new year! We missed you and hope you’re ready to immediately sully the blank slate with a truly absurd episode of America’s Next Top Model. This week, we watched “The Girl Who Wants To Step On The Pretty Flower” and “The Girl Whose Boyfriend Is Cheating On Her” and watch the girls visit a previous Top Model champ, assemble their own posses, and meet a couple of real Jackasses. Then, we all recoil in horror as Lisa ventures into exciting new diaper-related territory in a bid for attention. Cassie talks about putting things in her nose, Erin says “Steve-O” really weird, and Producer Spouse is no longer allowed to sing Objects In The Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are by Meat Loaf. Listen on!

S05E08: The Girl Who Wants To Step On The Pretty Flower
S05E09: The Girl Whose Boyfriend Is Cheating On Her
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Friends, family, elves and reindeer, it’s time for a holiday treat! This year, we decided to take a break from talking about ghastly people wearing great clothes on America’s Next Top Model, and instead decided to talk about ghastly people wearing great clothes on Gossip Girl! We discuss the season one holiday episode “Roman Holiday,” in which Blair’s father brings his boyfriend to town, and hijinks ensue. Serena searches for the perfect present, Erin and Cassie pick their favourite outfits from the show, and then Erin, Cassie, and Spouse all discover they murdered angels in their youth. Pour yourself a nog, throw on an expensive scarf, and join us for a laugh or three!

Folks, that’s gonna do it for us for 2020! Thank you for joining us this year. We’ll see you first week of January 2021 to continue our watch of Cycle 5 of America’s Next Top Model, but until then, stay safe, and have a wonderful and warm holiday season. We love you!

Gossip Girl S01E11: Roman Holiday
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Legend tells of an incredible discovery to be made within the notes for the seventh episode of season 5 of Resting On Pretty. Nobody has succeeded in cracking the code thus far, but perhaps you, dear listener, will prevail. Best of luck.

tHis week, we watched “the gIrls who are 1940s pinups” and wiTnessed tHe models run An obstacle course and get covered iN manure, cassie plays a bunch of pranKS, and there’s a very stinky go-see. FavOuRite photos are taken, there’s muLtIple Slyly writTEN tyra mails, and one model handles a panel challenge wIth some true iNGenuiTy. spOuse gets extremely Owned, erin starts a clUb for watching hoRror movies, and Cassie helps yOu dO your hoLiday SHOpping. listen on, Won’t you?

S05E07: The Girls Who Are 1940s Pinups
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Writing to you on the eve of the second Toronto lockdown, enjoying the snow outside, and listening to these two goofballs talk about America’s Next Top Model. Hard to be in too bad of a mood. Try to ruin my evening, I dare you! Double dog dare! You can’t! You’ll be reading this at LEAST two days too late! Anyway, what have we got here - okay, so this week, we watched “The Girl Who Loves Bubbles And Talks To Plants”and saw the models put on food based masks, relax in a hot tub, record a secret-heavy commercial and lightly plagiarize each other. Erin reveals she liked the television program Charmed, and Cassie reveals some equally interesting personal news.

S05E06: The Girl Who Loves Bubbles And Talks To Plants
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Howdy stranger. You’re not from 'round these parts, are ya? Yeah, this town ain’t been the same since them Resting On Pretty gals came through. Wouldn’t stop talkin’ ‘bout some reality tellervision show they’d watched recently. Somethin’ ‘bout “The Girl Who Gets A Boob Job” - don’t sound like sorta thing you’d bring up in polite company, now do it? Anyway, apparently in this here episode, the models learn ‘bout their flaws, someone by the name a Janice comes through - now they seemed REAL excited about that one - and some other feller named Spouse eats an ice cream sandwich. Ain’t none of my business. Anyhoo, what’cha drinkin’?

S05E05: The Girls Who Gets A Boob Job
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Dear Mister “I’m Too Good To Call Or Write My Fans,” this will be the last podcast I ever send your ass! Today we watched “The Girl Who Makes A Disclaimer” and watch as a hard moral line in the sand is drawn about cutting your hair too short, witness some mildly sapphic longing, and think about the Work Bitch music video. There’s multiple runway challenges, a green screen, and both Erin and Cassie are feeling crabbier than usual for reasons outside of the podcast! All the best, your loving friend, Stanley.

S05E04: The Girls Makes A Disclaimer
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Folks, we’ve given it some thought and have decided that we are no longer going to cover America’s Next Top Model. Instead, we are going to drive ourselves considerably less mad watching the 1984 procedural situation comedy Night Court! Isn’t that better? Aren’t you in a better mood already? Anyways, this week we watched a really weird episode from the show’s fifth season, “The Girl Who Needs A Miracle,” in which a bunch of models get makeovers. Will Judge Stone like the Mia Farrow haircut one of the models is given? Will Rufus the cat successfully distract all three people involved in the creation of this podcast? Will Spouse get robbed by another Tyra Mail? Listen on, dear listener!

S05E03: The Girl Who Needs A Miracle
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[Transcribed audio from the last dispatch of the SS Resting On Pretty]: Something happened to my crew, it’s… it’s just me left. We… we watched “The Girls Become Superheroes” this week and… god. There was a tour of Beverly Hills… a party and runway show… Cassie made a quiche. We thought everything was going well… we though [inaudible] we were wrong, we were so WRONG. We… who’s there? Oh g[static, audio cuts off]

S05E02: The Girls Become Superheroes
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When I was a little girl, my grandmother used to tell me stories of a reality television program where models would compete under the watchful eye of an elder (relative to models) guide giving bizarre advice couched in riddles, for the entertainment of millions of young millennials trying not to think about the Iraq war. Stories turned to legend, legend turned to myths, and myths turned to… forgotten… myths. But it’s true. The stories were all true. This week, we kick off Cycle 5 of America’s Next Top Model with a bang and watch “The Girl With A Twisted Catchphrase,” and are shocked to discover that it’s not a Joker quote. We meet a veritable swarm of new models, Tyra gives some extremely helpful advice to lesbians everywhere, poses are posed, and one model gets the chance to ask Tyra Banks any question she likes. She uses the opportunity wisely. Meanwhile, we all struggle to remember what town Twilight takes place in. Listen on!

S05E01: “The Girl With A Twisted Catchphrase"
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