Reuben Recommends

*Disclaimer* - Talk of childhood sexual abuse in this episode. Please take care of yourself if you feel that this may bring up things for you.

This recording is from a presentation I gave on my counselling training about the impact of trauma in the therapy room.

In it I discuss:

Trauma
Shame
Treatment
Splitting
Dissociation
and Projective Identification.

I hope that the episode is useful

This week we discuss the unspoken silence of men's suffering.

We cover a ton of ground and we really hope that you enjoy the episode.

To find out more about Nick and his fantastic events, you can find him on facebook at:

Brothership Connection: https://www.facebook.com/groups/668263904528233/

and at his website: https://www.nicholasmalin.com/online-group-work/

The two books I recommend are:

Under Saturn's Shadow by James Hollis

and The Truth by Neil Strauss

Enjoy!

Welcome to the first Annual Reuben Awards. Here is everything that is mentioned in the episode!

Best Non-Fiction Book:
Becoming Myself: A Psychiatrists Memoir by Irvin Yalom


Best Fiction Book:
Schopenhaur’s Cure by Irvin Yalom
When Nietzsche Wept Irvin Yalom
Monma and The Meaning of Life: Tales of Psychotherapy by Irvin Yalom


Best Comedy Book:
Round Ireland With A Fridge by Tony Hawks


Most Useful Book:
A Complaint Free World by Will Bowen


Overal best Book:
The Schopenhauer Cure - Irvin Yalom


Best Podcast:
Hey Riddle Riddle
Dungeons and Daddies
Armchair Expert
Tim Ferriss show


Best film:
Bo Burnham - Inside
The King
Jojo Rabbit


Best Series:
Ted Lasso
Love on the Spectrum


Best album:
Kacy Hill - Is It Selfish If We Talk About Me Again


Best video:
Chris D’Elia reacts to Hilarious You spin me right round Jesus cover - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sky-iP-j4iI
Chris D’Elia reacts to most Italian family ever - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E4vza3UdJP4


Best idea or concept:
Free Will by Sam Harris
Lying by Sam Harris

Jon Hopkins - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ozWfP91RXkM


Best Purchase over £100:
Subpac - https://subpac.com/what-is-the-subpac/


Best purchase under £100:
AirPods


Most important change in my life:
Yoga - https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLW0v0k7UCVrkh5WZyHu0d0fWnaNgbmQTw


Favourite Fact:
Valcono in 1815 caused year with no summer in 1816 which lead to the price of oats going so high that loads of horses died and indirectly lead to the invention of the bicycle

Favourite Quote:
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before beginning to improve the world.”
- Anne Frank

Have a wonderful 2022

Hi everyone,

I have decided to share my live appearance on the Delightful Dissent Podcast with Matthew Bellringer.

In this podcast we discuss the accusation of 'you've changed' and also how we should desire people to change. We also cover how we should be using the eastern view of compassion and acceptance to bring about positive change.

I hope you enjoy the conversation!

Is it possible to help someone who doesn't want help? In today's episode I am going to share with you some ways that will hopefully shed some light on this idea.

I cover:
Why they may not want to get help
How to communicate with them through the LEAP method
What to do when you finally offer help
and How to work on yourself to improve your chances

Thanks to Dr Xavier Amador and his book I Am Not Sick, I Don't Need Help for the amazing work.

Enjoy!

In this episode I recommend:

Becoming Myself by Irvin Yalom
When Nietzsche Wept by Irvin Yalom
The Lazarus Heist podcast
Ted Lasso
Inside by Bo Burnham
Funny Dreams podcast

and then I share two fun facts and two lovely quotes.

Have a wonderful October

Hey there, a reminder that this is the second half of the Life Script podcast, so if you haven't had a chance to listen to that first, I'd highly recommend you jump back to episode #7 and then you'll be able to enjoy this one even more.

In the second half of Life Scripts, we cover the 6 script patterns of:

Until
After
Always
Never
Almost 1 & 2
Open Ended

And the 5 main drivers:

Be Perfect
Please Others
Be Strong
Try Hard
Hurry Up

I use the book TA Today to guide us through the understanding and exercises and I hope that through this you will understand yourself better and increase your awareness for your own patterns that you follow.

I hope you enjoy this episode and if you do, please share it with people you think will gain from listening.

Have a fantastic month!

Here it is! 2 months in the making but hopefully worth the wait!

In this episode we go on a journey into understanding your Life Script through Transactional Analysis. I use the book TA Today to guide us through the understanding and exercises and I hope that through this you will understand yourself better and increase your awareness for your own patterns that you follow.

In the podcast I talk through:
What is the Script?
The Script in adult life
Life positions
Injunctions & Counter-Injunctions
Your Script process
& Drivers

I hope you enjoy this episode and if you do, please share it with people you think will gain from listening.

Have a fantastic month!

Today we're talking about a core counselling and psychology theory: The Ego-States.

Please note: I am using the book TA Today by Stewart & Joines to base my understanding of the theory and therefore I use examples and quotes throughout the podcast. I don't cite throughout however, otherwise it would interrupt the flow. If you would like to learn more then I highly recommend buying the book.

In this episode we go into:

1. The basics of Parent, Child, Adult and why it’s applicable in therapy and in life.

2. Splitting each of the parent and child states in two. Looking at the Controlling Parent / Nurturing Parent at the top, and then Adapted (compliant) Child / (care) Free Child at the bottom.

3. Showing how each state we are in can be positive and negative, and how that affects you and those around you.

4. Then lastly, we’re gonna talk about the slogans and beliefs that we’ve picked up from our parents or our own childhood, which still creep into and occasionally control our lives.

Next month will be TA Life Scripts.

I hope you enjoy the episode!

Welcome everyone to my first interview, with the wonderful Nicholas Malin.

In this episode we talk about:

The Basics of What Is The Shadow
How Does it Often Turn Up
Why We Need to Integrate The Shadow
Projection
How to Spot the Shadow
How to Work on the Shadow

Nick also leads us through an exercise and a 6 minute meditation at the end.

I hope you enjoy this conversation and you can find Nick at:

https://www.facebook.com/nic.malin

https://nicholasmalin.com/

https://uk.linkedin.com/in/nicholas-malin-3324341aa

See you in June!