Revolutionise Your Love Life

In this episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, I’m joined by the wonderful Colette Bane, a family lawyer whose emotional intelligence, clarity and care make her such a valuable guide for people navigating divorce. Together we explore what it means to approach divorce consciously and intentionally, especially when powerful emotions begin to surface.

Divorce is not simply a legal process. It is an emotional, psychological and deeply human transition. There may be grief for the relationship, the future you thought you were building, the friendship you once had, or the family structure you hoped would last. There may also be anger, fear, confusion, loss of control, and old childhood dynamics that unexpectedly come to the fore.

Colette and I talk about the importance of setting clear intentions early in the process, so that you can return again and again to your wisest adult self. This does not mean denying the pain. It means having the right support around you so that you can make decisions from strength, maturity and clarity, rather than from fear, helplessness or reactivity.

We also touch on menopause, empty nest transitions, emotional overwhelm, learned helplessness and weaponised incompetence, and why finding your tribe is essential when you are moving through the end of a relationship.

This is the first in a short sequence of conversations with Colette, so do listen out for the next episodes too.

Key Takeaways From This Episode

1. Divorce is an emotional process as much as a legal one Even when there are practical arrangements to be made, divorce often brings up grief, fear, anger, loss and confusion. The legal process may be the structure, but the emotional process is what many people are truly living through.

2. Intention setting matters Conscious intentional divorce begins with deciding who you want to be in the process. Do you want to move through it with dignity, clarity and maturity? Do you want to protect your children from unnecessary conflict? Setting those intentions early can help you keep returning to your wisest self.

3. Your “wise adult self” may not always be the part of you that shows up  Divorce can activate old patterns. Sibling rivalry, childlike helplessness, parental power dynamics and victim positions can all appear. When we recognise these patterns, we have a better chance of stepping back into our adult selves.

4. Support is essential Your lawyer can guide you legally, but you also need emotional support. A coach, therapist, counsellor or wise support network can help you process the feelings, regulate your nervous system and make clearer decisions.

5. Menopause and empty nest transitions can change everything For many women, menopause brings a shift in hormones, identity, priorities and tolerance. When children leave home, some women realise they have also been “parenting” their spouse and no longer want to continue in that role.

References

Episodes 88 and 89 - These explore menopause and its impact on women’s emotional lives, relationships, priorities and sense of self.

About Colette Bane
Colette is a partner in the family team at Knights. She is known for her discreet, premium service and strategic approach, advising clients on financial arrangements in divorce, particularly in high-net-worth cases. She also supports clients with child arrangements and wealth protection through pre- and post-nuptial agreements.

Colette has expertise in surrogacy and modern family formation. Her clients value her responsiveness, emotional intelligence and ability to navigate complex and high-stakes situations with both clarity and care.

Working nationally as part of Knights’ leading family law team, Colette delivers bespoke, results-focused advice tailored to each client’s unique needs.

Find Colette:
Instagram: @colette.familylawyer

About Your Host
Heather Garbutt is a psychotherapist, love coach and accredited Calling In The One practitioner with over twenty years of experience working with women on love, relationships and the interior work that makes lasting change possible.

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💛 CALLING IN THE ONE
If you are ready for structured, supported work to understand your patterns and call in the relationship you deserve, find out more about working with me here:
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In this warm, candid and deeply human conversation for the Revolutionise Your Love Life podcast, I speak with couples therapists and relationship coaches Matt Albiges and Rebeca Pereira about what it really takes to create a lasting, loving romantic relationship. We explore their own love story, from meeting on an NLP training course and later “bumping into” one another on the London Underground, to the deeper inner work that helped them become not just partners in love, but partners in purpose.

What I found so moving about this conversation was their honesty. Matt and Rebeca speak with real tenderness about the places where they have had to grow: slowing down, speeding up, learning to feel safe, honouring protective parts, understanding masculine and feminine energies, and making time for play, humour, intimacy and presence. Their relationship is not presented as perfect. It is something alive, conscious, intentional and lovingly tended.

This episode is a beautiful reminder that love can become a place of healing, growth and joyful partnership when both people are willing to meet themselves, and each other, with courage, curiosity and care.

Key Takeaways

1. A good relationship is created, not simply found
Matt and Rebeca remind us that love does not flourish by accident. Like any meaningful area of life, relationship requires attention, learning, humility and practice. If we believe that the “right” relationship should always feel easy, we may miss the deeper invitation to grow.

2. Inner work changes the whole relationship dynamic
Rebeca speaks powerfully about learning to recognise her own trauma responses and protective parts, rather than acting from them unconsciously. Matt shares how he had learned to detach and “zone out” in a previous relationship, and how Rebeca helped him reclaim playfulness, confidence and emotional presence.

3. Curiosity is one of the great medicines of love
Rather than assuming they know what the other means, Matt and Rebeca ask questions. “Can you help me understand?” becomes a bridge. Curiosity softens defensiveness and helps partners come back into connection.

4. Humour can heal when there is enough safety
Their relationship is full of laughter, but Matt wisely offers a warning: humour only works when it comes from warmth and respect. In a painful or disconnected relationship, humour can easily become sarcasm, dismissal or mockery.

5. Intimacy needs both togetherness and space
One of the most striking parts of the conversation is their commitment to both closeness and individuality. They make time for dates, museums, long lunches and playful moments together, while also honouring separate bedrooms, solo interests, friendships and time apart. There is enough space for each person to breathe, and enough devotion to keep choosing one another.

Reference Material Mentioned

About Matt Albiges and Rebeca Pereira
Matt and Rebeca are couples therapists and relationship coaches based in London. Together, they help couples and individuals transform relationship difficulties into deeper connection, clarity, passion and love through their work at Aligned With Love. They are the hosts of The Relationship Breakthrough Show with Matt & Rebeca, and Matt is the author of Should I Stay or Should I Go?: From Relationship Clash to Clarity in 5 Simple Steps. They have also been featured in broadcast and print media, including the BBC.

About Your Host
I married at 34 with great hope for a long, happy marriage and a family. Over time, though, the relationship unravelled into power struggles, criticism and emotional distance. My own childhood conditioning had left me disconnected from my feelings and needs and despite years of personal work, I couldn’t see a way forward. We separated in 2007.

I stayed on my own for several years, not wanting to repeat the pattern again. In 2016 my life transformed. Through discovering Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work, I called in my “One.” Although I was already a trained psychotherapist and deeply committed to self-development, this work created breakthroughs I hadn’t experienced before. To give my new relationship the strongest foundation possible, I trained as both a Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “The One” coach. Through that process, I learned to honour myself more fully and to build love rooted in trust, presence and emotional truth.

As a psychotherapist of over 35 years, I was genuinely surprised to discover through this work, entirely new levels of insight, empowerment and relational skills, insights I now live and practice within my own relationship.

Whether you are recently separated, healing unresolved pain from the past, or longing to create a deeply nourishing relationship, I would be honoured to support you.

Together, we can help you reconnect with your authentic self and open the door to lasting, meaningful love.

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📩 JOIN THE NEWSLETTER
Each week I write about conscious love, the interior work and what calling in a real relationship actually takes. Join the community here:
https://heathergarbutt.com/newsletter
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
💛 CALLING IN THE ONE
If you are ready for structured, supported work to understand your patterns and call in the relationship you deserve, find out more about working with me here:
https://heathergarbutt.com/services/
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This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom:
https://boostandbloom.co.uk/
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See all podcast episodes here:
https://heathergarbutt.com/podcast/

In this special episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt is interviewed by Matt about a new paradigm in dating and relationships, and what it really takes to choose and create “the relationship of your life”. Heather shares her own turning point, from being a long-time psychotherapist who still found love elusive, to doing Calling in “The One” herself after a lonely Valentine’s Day in 2016.

Together, they explore why awareness alone is not enough, how core beliefs like “I am alone” quietly shape your choices, and why healing your inner “young self” stops you turning partners into parents. They also discuss Heather’s work in Conscious Uncoupling, and how to end relationships with dignity, stability and as much peace as possible, especially when children are involved. More support and resources can be found at Heathergarbutt.com.

Key takeaways

Mentioned in the episode

About Matt:
Matt Albiges is a qualified therapist and relationship expert who uses techniques including coaching and NLP. He describes being motivated by “that moment” when a client commits to turning their relationship, and life, around. His work is shaped by his own journey through challenging relationships, followed by a deep dive into understanding what makes relationships work. He has also worked extensively in organisational change, and notes that many common challenges are mindset-based, which informs his relationship work.

About Your Host:
I married at 34 with great hope for a long, happy marriage and a family. Over time, though, the relationship unraveled into power struggles, criticism and emotional distance. My own childhood conditioning had left me disconnected from my feelings and needs and despite years of personal work, I couldn’t see a way forward. We separated in 2007.

I stayed on my own for several years, not wanting to repeat the pattern again. In 2016 my life transformed. Through discovering Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work, I called in my “One.” Although I was already a trained psychotherapist and deeply committed to self-development, this work created breakthroughs I hadn’t experienced before. To give my new relationship the strongest foundation possible, I trained as both a Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “The One” coach. Through that process, I learned to honour myself more fully and to build love rooted in trust, presence and emotional truth.

As a psychotherapist of over 35 years, I was genuinely surprised to discover through this work, entirely new levels of insight, empowerment and relational skills, insights I now live and practice within my own relationship.
Whether you are recently separated, healing unresolved pain from the past, or longing to create a deeply nourishing relationship, I would be honoured to support you.

Together, we can help you reconnect with your authentic self and open the door to lasting, meaningful love.

This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.

See all podcast episodes here.

In this episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt sits down with Marina Love, a solution-focused hypnotherapist who works with high-achieving, self-aware people who look “fine” on the outside but feel overwhelmed, stuck or emotionally drained on the inside. Together they explore why relationships can start to feel like hard work when your life is ticking along, and how chronic low-level stress quietly pushes the nervous system into survival mode. Marina explains how fight, flight and freeze show up in everyday relating, why the brain becomes hypervigilant and obsessive when it senses threat, and how small, practical steps can rewire the brain towards calm, connection and emotional presence. More resources and episodes are available at Heathergarbutt.com.

Key takeaways

Mentioned in this episode

About Marina:
Marina Love is a solution-focused hypnotherapist supporting high-achieving, self-aware clients who feel capable externally but internally overwhelmed, stuck or emotionally depleted, often noticing the impact most strongly in relationships. Her work is grounded in neuroscience, nervous system regulation, and practical steps that help clients move out of survival mode into a calmer, more energised and emotionally present way of living, without needing to revisit the past.
 
About Heather:
I married at 34 with great hope for a long, happy marriage and a family. Over time, though, the relationship unraveled into power struggles, criticism and emotional distance. My own childhood conditioning had left me disconnected from my feelings and needs and despite years of personal work, I couldn’t see a way forward. We separated in 2007.

I stayed on my own for several years, not wanting to repeat the pattern again. In 2016 my life transformed. Through discovering Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work, I called in my “One.” Although I was already a trained psychotherapist and deeply committed to self-development, this work created breakthroughs I hadn’t experienced before. To give my new relationship the strongest foundation possible, I trained as both a Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “The One” coach. Through that process, I learned to honour myself more fully and to build love rooted in trust, presence and emotional truth.

As a psychotherapist of over 35 years, I was genuinely surprised to discover through this work, entirely new levels of insight, empowerment and relational skills, insights I now live and practice within my own relationship.
Whether you are recently separated, healing unresolved pain from the past, or longing to create a deeply nourishing relationship, I would be honoured to support you.

Together, we can help you reconnect with your authentic self and open the door to lasting, meaningful love.

This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.

See all podcast episodes here.

In this episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt is joined by Catalina, a psychotherapist from Romania who supports survivors and thrivers of narcissistic abuse. Together they explore what it takes to rebuild trust after coercion and gaslighting, and how to date intentionally so you do not repeat old patterns. Heather shares the core principles of Calling in “The One” and Conscious Uncoupling, including why the first relationship to strengthen is the one you have with yourself, how to discern safely (especially online), and why going slowly is not caution, it is wisdom.

Find more support and resources at Heathergarbutt.com.

Key takeaways

About Catalina:
Catalina is a Romanian psychotherapist specialising in individual and group work, with a particular focus on helping women and men recover from narcissistic abuse. Her approach is deeply compassionate, practical, and rooted in restoring voice, safety, and self-trust so survivors can move from coping to thriving.

About Your Host:
I married at 34 with great hope for a long, happy marriage and a family. Over time, though, the relationship unraveled into power struggles, criticism and emotional distance. My own childhood conditioning had left me disconnected from my feelings and needs and despite years of personal work, I couldn’t see a way forward. We separated in 2007.

I stayed on my own for several years, not wanting to repeat the pattern again. In 2016 my life transformed. Through discovering Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work, I called in my “One.” Although I was already a trained psychotherapist and deeply committed to self-development, this work created breakthroughs I hadn’t experienced before. To give my new relationship the strongest foundation possible, I trained as both a Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “The One” coach. Through that process, I learned to honour myself more fully and to build love rooted in trust, presence and emotional truth.

As a psychotherapist of over 35 years, I was genuinely surprised to discover through this work, entirely new levels of insight, empowerment and relational skills, insights I now live and practice within my own relationship.
Whether you are recently separated, healing unresolved pain from the past, or longing to create a deeply nourishing relationship, I would be honoured to support you.

Together, we can help you reconnect with your authentic self and open the door to lasting, meaningful love.

This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.

See all podcast episodes here.

In this episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt speaks with Prem Glidden, coach and author of Opening to Possibility: Becoming Available to Love and Be Loved, about what it really means to become available for love. Together they explore how early-life messages like “I’m not lovable” can quietly shape adult dating and relationships, why “chemistry” can sometimes be a trauma signal rather than a soulmate sign, and how living from possibility changes what you allow, what you choose, and what you can receive. Prem also shares her own story, including meeting her beloved Bob and marrying at 67, as proof that it is never too late to create a relationship that feels safe, real, and deeply nourishing. (More resources and support can be found at Heathergarbutt.com.)

Key takeaways

About Prem:
Prem Glidden is a Calling in The One coach and one of the first certified True You coaches trained by Catherine Woodward Thomas. She helps people graduate from old stories that keep love at a distance and step into a life led by aliveness, agency, and self-trust. Prem is the author of Opening to Possibility: Becoming Available to Love and Be Loved and shares her work at premglidden.com.

About Your Host:
I married at 34 with great hope for a long, happy marriage and a family. Over time, though, the relationship unraveled into power struggles, criticism and emotional distance. My own childhood conditioning had left me disconnected from my feelings and needs and despite years of personal work, I couldn’t see a way forward. We separated in 2007.

I stayed on my own for several years, not wanting to repeat the pattern again. In 2016 my life transformed. Through discovering Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work, I called in my “One.” Although I was already a trained psychotherapist and deeply committed to self-development, this work created breakthroughs I hadn’t experienced before. To give my new relationship the strongest foundation possible, I trained as both a Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “The One” coach. Through that process, I learned to honour myself more fully and to build love rooted in trust, presence and emotional truth.

As a psychotherapist of over 35 years, I was genuinely surprised to discover through this work, entirely new levels of insight, empowerment and relational skills, insights I now live and practice within my own relationship.

Whether you are recently separated, healing unresolved pain from the past, or longing to create a deeply nourishing relationship, I would be honoured to support you.

Together, we can help you reconnect with your authentic self and open the door to lasting, meaningful love.

This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.

See all podcast episodes here.

In this heartfelt episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt is joined by Cătălina Popoveniuc, a Romanian psychotherapist with 23 years of experience supporting survivors and thrivers of narcissistic abuse. Catalina shares her own lived journey from surviving a narcissistic family system and multiple narcissistic relationships to reclaiming her voice and building a life that feels bright, free, and fully hers. Together, they talk candidly about the realities of gaslighting, cultural stigma, and the practical steps that help someone move from confusion and fear into safety, clarity, and self-trust, so thriving becomes possible.

Key takeaways

About Cătălina:
Cătălina Popoveniuc, a psychotherapist specialising in individual and group therapy, with a particular focus on supporting survivors of narcissistic abuse - both women and men.

With 23 years of experience working with people, she has developed a deeply human,
compassionate, and supportive approach, grounded in empathy and genuine respect for each person’s path.

For Cătălina, it’s essential that every client feels heard, seen, and understood.

About Your Host:
I married at 34 with great hope for a long, happy marriage and a family. Over time, though, the relationship unraveled into power struggles, criticism and emotional distance. My own childhood conditioning had left me disconnected from my feelings and needs and despite years of personal work, I couldn’t see a way forward. We separated in 2007.

I stayed on my own for several years, not wanting to repeat the pattern again. In 2016 my life transformed. Through discovering Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work, I called in my “One.” Although I was already a trained psychotherapist and deeply committed to self-development, this work created breakthroughs I hadn’t experienced before. To give my new relationship the strongest foundation possible, I trained as both a Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “The One” coach. Through that process, I learned to honour myself more fully and to build love rooted in trust, presence and emotional truth.

As a psychotherapist of over 35 years, I was genuinely surprised to discover through this work, entirely new levels of insight, empowerment and relational skills, insights I now live and practice within my own relationship.
Whether you are recently separated, healing unresolved pain from the past, or longing to create a deeply nourishing relationship, I would be honoured to support you.

Together, we can help you reconnect with your authentic self and open the door to lasting, meaningful love.

This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.

A hundred episodes in, and their hearts are full. To celebrate this milestone Heather is joined by her dear friend Monica, who turns the tables and is host for the 100th episode of Revolutionside Your Love Life. They look back at the most transformative themes, the letters you have sent, and the shifts that happen when we treat ourselves with care and choose love from our adult self. They talk about power and control dynamics, why chemistry alone can mislead us, and how visioning and conscious uncoupling open space for healthy partnership. Heather shares what this work has changed in her, the mission that keeps the fire hose of purpose flowing, and a simple message for anyone who feels hopeless about love. It is never too late, and you are enough.

Key takeaways

About Heather:

I married at 34 with great hope for a long, happy marriage and a family. Over time, though, the relationship unraveled into power struggles, criticism and emotional distance. My own childhood conditioning had left me disconnected from my feelings and needs and despite years of personal work, I couldn’t see a way forward. We separated in 2007.

I stayed on my own for several years, not wanting to repeat the pattern again. In 2016 my life transformed. Through discovering Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work, I called in my “One.” Although I was already a trained psychotherapist and deeply committed to self-development, this work created breakthroughs I hadn’t experienced before. To give my new relationship the strongest foundation possible, I trained as both a Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “The One” coach. Through that process, I learned to honour myself more fully and to build love rooted in trust, presence and emotional truth.

As a psychotherapist of over 35 years, I was genuinely surprised to discover through this work, entirely new levels of insight, empowerment and relational skills, insights I now live and practice within my own relationship.
Whether you are recently separated, healing unresolved pain from the past, or longing to create a deeply nourishing relationship, I would be honoured to support you.

Together, we can help you reconnect with your authentic self and open the door to lasting, meaningful love.

About Monica
Monica Douglas is a spirit-led relationship coach, interfaith minister, and founder of the Wild Wisdom of Relationships framework. With over 25 years of experience, she supports heart-led individuals to heal from heartbreak, reset their relationships, and thrive in love. Her work integrates ritual, coaching, spiritual practice, and tools like her Wild Wisdom Oracle cards and relationship cycle quiz.

In this heartfelt conversation, host Heather Garbutt welcomes coach Jessica Yip, a Calling in The One and True You Coach who helps high-achieving people trade old stories for living, breathing love. Jessica shares the belief that shaped her early life, 'I am alone', and how integrity, self-responsibility and learning to receive transformed her dating and her partnership with Trevor. Together they explore slow, conscious dating, repairing family bonds, practical communication, and the everyday negotiations that make real love feel safe and alive.

Key Takeaways

About Your Host:
I married at 34 with great hope for a long, happy marriage and a family. Over time, though, the relationship unraveled into power struggles, criticism and emotional distance. My own childhood conditioning had left me disconnected from my feelings and needs and despite years of personal work, I couldn’t see a way forward. We separated in 2007.

I stayed on my own for several years, not wanting to repeat the pattern again. In 2016 my life transformed. Through discovering Katherine Woodward Thomas’s work, I called in my “One.” Although I was already a trained psychotherapist and deeply committed to self-development, this work created breakthroughs I hadn’t experienced before. To give my new relationship the strongest foundation possible, I trained as both a Conscious Uncoupling and Calling in “The One” coach. Through that process, I learned to honour myself more fully and to build love rooted in trust, presence and emotional truth.

As a psychotherapist of over 35 years, I was genuinely surprised to discover through this work, entirely new levels of insight, empowerment and relational skills, insights I now live and practice within my own relationship.
Whether you are recently separated, healing unresolved pain from the past, or longing to create a deeply nourishing relationship, I would be honoured to support you.

Together, we can help you reconnect with your authentic self and open the door to lasting, meaningful love.

About Jessica:
Jessica Yip is the coach for hardworking people who feel like they’ve ticked all the success boxes in life but are aching for more love and joy.

As a leading Calling in “The One” Coach, and now as one of the first certified True You Coaches personally trained by Katherine Woodward Thomas, Jessica helps clients graduate from old stories and painful patterns that keep love at a distance. She brings over a decade of experience blending transformative coaching, somatic attunement and relational skill-building to help you reconnect with your aliveness, agency and power to create healthy relationships, meaningful experiences, and the delicious life and love you’ve always longed for.

In this episode of Revolutionise Your Love Life, Heather Garbutt welcomes relationship and self-awareness coach Lisa Hawkins to explore the idea of the “picker” - the often unconscious part that chooses romantic partners. 

Through candid life stories, Lisa illustrates how chemistry can be a signal of familiarity rather than health, how covert and overt abuse can masquerade as niceness, and why building a steadier inner compass matters. Together they offer practical ways to tune into intuition, track red flags, and let the adult self lead so love becomes honest, respectful and safe.

Key takeaways

About Your Host:
Heather has been working in mental and emotional health for over 30 years. First as an Art Psychotherapist then as a Counsellor and Couples Therapist.  She now specialises in love and relationship coaching.

Heather is a qualified Calling in “The One” and “Conscious Uncoupling” coach, having been trained and mentored by Katherine Woodward Thomas. In addition, she is a long-term accredited member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy, Health and Care Professions Council registered and a member of The British Association of Art

About Lisa
Lisa Hawkins is a relationship and self-awareness coach, and the founder of Consciously Awake Counseling. For over 26 years, she’s been passionate about the human experience – why we love, how we connect, and what gets in the way. She works with both men and women to awaken the part of themselves that already knows how to love deeply, freely, and consciously.

Through spiritual inquiry, emotional accountability, and her signature Pause Method, Lisa helps people question old beliefs, shift their patterns, and create authentic relationships – starting with the one they have with themselves. Her work is about truth, healing, and connection at a higher level.Whether you’re navigating love, healing from heartbreak, or learning to trust yourself again, Lisa brings wisdom, presence, and a deep respect for the human experience.

This podcast is brought to you by Boost and Bloom.