Rewired Sober: The Next Chapter

What do autism, Ozempic, alcohol cravings, recovery culture, and a Substack called The Loudest Girl in the Corner have in common?

More than you might think.

In this episode of Rewired Sober, I sit down with Rebecca Rush—sober autistic peer support coach, poet, essayist, and creator of The Loudest Girl in the Corner—for one of the most honest, hilarious, and thought-provoking conversations I've had on the podcast.

We explore the intersection of neurodiversity, addiction, and recovery culture, including why many people spend years being labeled as "alcoholics" while undiagnosed autism, ADHD, sensory overwhelm, masking, and social exhaustion remain hidden beneath the surface.

Rebecca shares her experience navigating recovery as an autistic woman and why some traditional recovery spaces can feel confusing, invalidating, or impossible to navigate for neurodivergent people.

We also discuss the growing conversation around GLP-1 medications like Ozempic and Wegovy and how they are helping some people dramatically reduce alcohol cravings—raising fascinating questions about addiction, biology, craving, and recovery.

And because neither of us is particularly interested in pretending certain topics don't exist, we also dive into some of the more controversial corners of recovery culture.

• Autism and alcohol use
• Why autism is frequently missed or misdiagnosed in women
• Masking, people-pleasing, and belonging
• Why some neurodivergent people struggle in traditional 12-step programs
• The tendency to pathologize every struggle as alcoholism
• Group dynamics, sponsorship, and social expectations
• How autistic traits can clash with recovery culture
• The vulnerability of newcomers and the reality of the "13th Step"
• Predatory behavior in recovery spaces
• Sex inventories, shame, and self-blame
• The difference between accountability and humiliation
• When recovery becomes self-flagellation instead of healing
• Building a recovery that actually fits your brain
• GLP-1 medications and alcohol cravings
• Recovery beyond one-size-fits-all thinking

We also discuss Rebecca's essay A Few Things I Won't Be Writing About, a sharp, funny, and unapologetic critique of the things recovery culture often struggles to talk about openly. In true Rebecca fashion, she somehow manages to write about all of them while claiming she won't.

This episode isn't about telling anyone how to recover.

It's about making room for more curiosity, more nuance, and more honest conversations.

Whether you're neurodivergent, questioning your relationship with alcohol, frustrated with recovery dogma, curious about GLP-1 medications, or simply interested in the evolving conversation around addiction and healing, this episode will give you plenty to think about—and probably a few things to laugh about too.

Rebecca Rush is a sober autistic peer support coach, poet, essayist, and writer of The Loudest Girl in the Corner. Her work explores autism, recovery, masking, identity, belonging, and what happens when people stop shrinking themselves to fit into systems that were never built for them.

Rebecca Rush's Substack: The Loudest Girl in the Corner

TheLoudestGirlintheCorner.substack.com

Failbettercoaching.com

Instagram.com/failbettercoach

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

In this solo episode of Rewired Sober, we’re talking about why so many intelligent, capable, high-functioning women struggle to quit drinking — even when they know alcohol is hurting them.

Because contrary to popular belief, addiction and emotional dependency are not intelligence problems.

In fact?

Sometimes being highly self-aware actually makes it easier to stay stuck.

Smart women are incredibly good at:

• rationalizing
• intellectualizing emotions
• researching instead of acting
• overthinking every decision
• procrastinating change
• explaining away red flags
• staying “functional” long enough to avoid consequences

Welcome to analysis paralysis.

This episode breaks down how high-achieving women often use thinking as a defense mechanism. Instead of feeling emotions, making decisions, asking for help, or tolerating discomfort, they stay trapped in loops of:

“I just need more information.”

“I’ll quit after this event.”

“I know what my problem is.”

“I should be able to figure this out myself.”

And underneath all of that?

Usually fear.

Shame.

Perfectionism.

And conditioning.

Because many women were taught from a very young age to be:

• the good one
• the responsible one
• the smart one
• the caretaker
• the achiever
• the emotionally controlled one

So when alcohol starts becoming a problem, it creates massive cognitive dissonance.

“How could I struggle with this?”

“I’m educated.”

“I’m successful.”

“I’m a nurse.”

“I’m a mom.”

“I’m not like those people.”

This episode explores why high-functioning women often stay stuck longer because they can still perform well enough to hide the damage — from others and from themselves.

Kate also talks about:

• hyper-independence and why asking for help feels threatening
• why self-awareness alone does not create change
• the nervous system patterns underneath procrastination
• perfectionism and all-or-nothing thinking in sobriety
• why information overload keeps women frozen
• the difference between understanding recovery and practicing recovery
• why emotional literacy matters more than intellectualizing
• the neuroscience of habit loops and avoidance
• how “good girl conditioning” disconnects women from their own needs

This conversation is honest, funny, uncomfortable, and deeply validating for women who feel exhausted from trying to “think” their way into changing.

Because recovery is not an IQ test.

And healing doesn’t happen because you gathered enough information.

It happens when you become willing to tolerate discomfort long enough to practice something different.

Topics include:

• women and alcohol
• high-functioning addiction
• sober curious women
• perfectionism and drinking
• emotional sobriety
• hyper-independence
• procrastination and recovery
• analysis paralysis
• neuroscience of addiction
• good girl conditioning
• people pleasing and alcohol
• mindset and sobriety
• emotional regulation
• why smart women struggle with addiction
• recovery for professional women
• overthinking and self-sabotage

Subscribe to Rewired Sober on YouTube for honest conversations about women’s recovery, emotional healing, neuroplasticity, mindset, nervous system regulation, and building a life that no longer requires escape.

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

In this episode of Rewired Sober, we’re talking about a thought almost every woman in recovery has had at some point:

“It’s unfair I have to live sober.”

And honestly? I get it.

It can feel deeply frustrating to watch other people drink while you’re trying to rebuild your nervous system, regulate your emotions, and figure out who you even are without alcohol.

Nobody wants to be the person ordering club soda while everyone else is posting vodka sodas like they’re in a 2001 episode of Sex and the City.

But this episode goes deeper than just “poor me” thinking.

We’re talking about the psychology of resentment in sobriety, the Buddhist philosophy that suffering often comes more from our mindset and resistance than the actual circumstance itself, and how comparison quietly keeps women emotionally stuck.

Because yes: sobriety can feel unfair.

(Don't punch me)

But so can:

• getting cancer
• being gluten or dairy intolerant
• struggling with anxiety
• having trauma
• dealing with chronic illness
• being genetically predisposed to addiction

Human beings constantly have to adapt to reality.

That doesn’t make you weak.

It makes you human.

In this episode, Kate talks openly about:

• why social media creates distorted views of “normal drinking”
• the hidden consequences people don’t post online
• how resentment can sabotage recovery
• the difference between pain and suffering
• why acceptance is not the same as liking something
• how mindset shifts help rewire the brain in sobriety
• the neuroscience of comparison and emotional suffering
• how women can stop seeing sobriety as punishment and start seeing it as information

This conversation also explores the idea that nobody escapes consequences forever — we just don’t always see them.

The woman posting wine night selfies may also be struggling with anxiety, emotional eating, loneliness, burnout, shame, insomnia, or a miserable relationship behind the scenes.

Social media is a highlight reel, not the documentary.

Sobriety is not about becoming perfect.

It’s about becoming honest.

And eventually?

It’s about becoming someone you actually trust.

If you’re a woman in early sobriety feeling angry, resentful, left out, or stuck in the mindset of “why me?” — this episode is for you.

Topics include:

• women and sobriety
• sober mindset shifts
• emotional sobriety
• addiction recovery for women
• Buddhist philosophy and suffering
• resentment in recovery
• comparison and social media
• neuroscience and sobriety
• rethinking alcohol culture
• healing without shame
• self-trust in recovery
• why quitting drinking feels unfair
• recovery beyond AA
• emotional regulation and nervous system healing

Subscribe to Rewired Sober on YouTube for honest conversations about recovery, emotional healing, neuroplasticity, identity, mindset, and building a life you genuinely love without alcohol.

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

This episode is a little chaotic, deeply human, wildly funny, and honestly? exactly what recovery can start to feel like when you stop making sobriety synonymous with punishment.

I’m taking you with me to New York City — from a sober social night at The Maze, to long walks through Central Park with women who are rebuilding themselves out loud. We talk about laughter, freedom, female friendship, feeling safe in your own skin again, and why sober people weirdly become the people partying at noon with popsicles in hand dancing in Central Park.

I also share my experience going to Julia Fox Closet Sale after listening to Down the Drain by Julia Fox on audiobook — and why her story hit me harder than I expected.

We get into:

• addiction, survival, and the messy realities women live through
• sex work, stigma, and the difference between judgment and understanding
• doing what you have to do to survive
• why “meeting people where they are” matters in recovery work
• the performance of being “good” versus being honest
• the complicated conversation around deprogramming from rigid recovery narratives
• how some women feel cracked open by recovery… and others feel trapped inside the language of it

I also talk about a recent podcast episode that absolutely cracked me wide open and forced me to think differently about identity, healing, and who gets to author their own story.

This isn’t a polished “10 steps to heal your life” episode.

It’s an episode about women telling the truth.

About recovery becoming bigger than not drinking.

About creativity, connection, safety, style, humor, grief, rebellion, and learning how to live without abandoning yourself.

Because maybe sobriety isn’t the end of your life.

Maybe it’s the beginning of finally becoming interesting again.

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

What if the thing you’ve been calling boredom in sobriety…

is actually a lack of expression?

In this episode, I sit down with Susi Glenna Milne to talk about creativity not as a hobby—but as a lifeline in recovery.

We get into what happens after you stop drinking and realize… okay, now I actually have to feel my life.

And instead of numbing out, what if you created your way through it?

We talk about how creativity in sobriety and recovery:

• brings you back online when everything feels flat
• gives you language for emotions you didn’t even know you had
• rebuilds self-respect, not just self-control
• connects you to community in a way that actually sticks

Because recovery isn’t just about removing alcohol.

It’s about building a life that feels worth staying for.

And let’s be clear about something—

Art is not reserved for a select, tortured, gallery-approved few.

It’s accessible. It’s human. It’s yours.

Everyone is an artist.

Not in a cheesy “everyone gets a gold star” way—

but in a real, grounded, you have something inside of you that needs expression kind of way.

We talk about breaking down gatekeeping and elitism in the art world, and why creativity in sobriety and recovery isn’t about being good…

It’s about being honest.

We also go there on bigger cultural conversations—

Like why women have historically been left out of the arts, had to fight harder for recognition, and are still reclaiming space in creative leadership.

We talk about Maria Grazia Chiuri, the first female creative director at Dior, and her documentary Her Dior—and why that matters more than people think.

We get into feminist punk energy, rebellion, and why creating—especially as a woman in recovery—is a quiet (and sometimes loud) act of resistance.

Yes, even against the current cultural climate that can feel… let’s just say icky.

And we talk about something that changed both of our lives:

The community we found through She Recovers Foundation.

A space where sobriety and recovery aren’t about shame or labels—

but about strength, voice, and rebuilding self-esteem from the inside out.

That kind of community doesn’t just support recovery.

It restores identity.

This episode is for you if:

• you’re sober or in recovery and feel flat, lost, or disconnected
• you’re tired of white-knuckling and want to actually feel alive
• you’ve told yourself “I’m not creative” (we’re calling bullshit on that)
• you’re craving connection, expression, and something that feels real

• Sobriety gives you your life back—but creativity shows you how to live it
• Numbing shuts you down. Creating brings you back online
• You don’t need talent—you need willingness
• Expression is how we process emotion in recovery
• Community is where self-esteem gets rebuilt
• Art is not elite—it’s accessible, and it belongs to everyone

If you’re in that in-between space—

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

Guest Info: Susi Milne

@susimilne777artwork

@susimilneartist777

My solid guess is this: You didn’t drink because you were weak.

You drank because your brain adapted.

In this episode, we’re breaking down one of the biggest lies in recovery culture: that shame will somehow motivate you into becoming a better version of yourself.

Spoiler: it won’t.

In fact, it does the opposite.

Using both neuroscience and real-life, messy-human examples, Kate is walking you through why shame keeps you stuck in the exact patterns you’re trying to escape—and what actually creates lasting change instead.

We’re talking about:

• Why alcohol “worked” (and what it was actually doing for you)
• The internal war that starts for many women in sobriety
• The difference between eliminating parts of yourself vs. integrating them
• What shame does to your brain (hello, survival mode)
• Why your prefrontal cortex basically clocks out when you’re in self-attack
• How safety—not punishment—is the key to rewiring your brain
• The real difference between suppressing behavior and actually changing it
• Why encouragement works (and why punishment backfires)
• How to interrupt the shame spiral in real time

This isn’t about letting yourself off the hook.

It’s about finally using a strategy that actually works.

Because:

You cannot hate yourself into a new identity.

But you can understand yourself into one.

If you’ve been stuck in the cycle of:

Trigger → shame → escape → repeat

This episode will show you how to shift into:

Trigger → awareness → safety → choice → change

And yeah… we’re also calling out the very human tendency to try and fix your life by bullying yourself into submission.

(How’s that been working for you?)

• Your brain is not moral—it’s efficient
• Shame activates survival mode, not growth
• Safety is what allows real change to happen
• Encouragement reinforces behavior; punishment suppresses it
• The part of you that drank was trying to help—not destroy you
• Integration > elimination, every time

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

What if the way you introduce yourself…

is keeping you stuck?

In this episode, we’re diving into something that’s deeply normalized in recovery spaces—but rarely questioned:

The words you use to describe who you are.

Because when you repeatedly say:

“I am an alcoholic”

“I am broken”

“This is just who I am”

Your brain listens.

Not emotionally.

Neurologically.

And it starts wiring your identity around those words.

But what if there’s another way?

As a SHE RECOVERS coach I love their guiding principle:

We lead with our strengths, not our defects.

Not denial.

Not bypassing.

Not pretending the past didn’t happen.

But choosing to orient your identity toward:

• what’s working
• what’s true about your resilience
• who you are becoming

Because that’s how people actually change.

• Why identity language in recovery matters more than you think
• The neuroscience behind repetition, language, and neuroplasticity
• “Neurons that fire together wire together” (and how your words reinforce patterns)
• Why your brain doesn’t fact-check you—it patterns you
• The difference between a fixed identity vs. an evolving one
• How leading with your “wound” can keep you looping in it
• The power of the spoken word (science + something deeper)
• Why some recovery language helps—and some quietly limits growth
• How to shift your identity without denying your past

• You’ve ever felt stuck in a label that no longer fits
• You’re sober… but still identifying with your lowest point
• You want to rebuild your identity—not just remove alcohol
• You’re ready to think for yourself instead of blindly following recovery scripts

• Your brain wires what you repeat—not what is objectively true
• Identity is not fixed—it’s built through language and behavior
• Leading with your strengths creates expansion, not denial
• You can honor your past without living in it
• The way you speak about yourself directly shapes your future

Work with Kate:

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

Every year, the first Monday in May, the world watches the Met Gala—a spectacle of fashion, identity, and storytelling through art.

And this year?

I’m not on that carpet.

But I am building something that matters a hell of a lot more.

Because the version of me who used to drink herself into invisibility…

is now creating a life out loud.

In this episode, I’m taking you inside the real plot twist of sobriety—what happens when you don’t just quit drinking… you actually start living.

We’re talking about:

• Why sobriety is not small, safe, or boring (it’s actually disruptive in the best way)
• How rock bottom can strip you down and make you unexpectedly fearless
• The identity shift that happens when you stop numbing and start noticing everything
• Midlife power, body neutrality, and the freedom of no longer performing for approval
• The psychology of fashion, creativity, and self-expression in recovery
• Why “escaping” doesn’t go away—you just start escaping into things that expand you
• The stigma around addiction and what happens when you tell the truth out loud
• What it’s like to exist in spaces (like fashion) where sobriety “doesn’t belong”… until it does
• How following small “breadcrumbs” led to building something bigger than I ever planned
• The vision behind the Vitela Runway Project—fashion, recovery, creativity, and community

Because here’s the truth no one tells you:

Sobriety doesn’t shrink your life.

It expands it.

And yeah—it’s inconvenient.

Because now you actually have to show up for it.

This episode is for the woman who:

• Quit drinking and is now thinking… “okay, but now what?”
• Feels more alive, more curious, and slightly overwhelmed by it
• Is ready to stop playing small and start experimenting with who she actually is
• Wants more than just “not drinking”—she wants a life

You don’t need a perfect plan.

You need a breadcrumb.

• Sobriety doesn’t remove desire—it brings it back online
• Rock bottom can create grounded fearlessness
• Midlife can be your most powerful era—not your decline
• Creativity is a powerful replacement for numbing and suppression
• Internal validation > external approval
• You don’t need clarity—you need curiosity and action

If you’re in that space—

you’ve quit drinking, but you’re not interested in a small, controlled life—

Come sit with us.

Inside Rewired Sober, we don’t just talk about not drinking.

We talk about building something with your life.

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

Mama- You’re not too angry.

You’re finally paying attention.

In this episode, we’re talking about something that gets misunderstood, minimized, and straight-up pathologized—especially in women:

Rage.

Not surface-level irritation.

Not “I need a bubble bath.”

I’m talking about the kind of anger that makes you look at your life and go:

“Are you kidding me?”

This isn’t a “calm down and regulate” conversation.

This is about sacred rage—what happens when you stop suppressing yourself, stop numbing out, and start seeing things clearly.

We’re getting into:

• Why anger often explodes in early sobriety (and why that’s normal)
• The difference between anger and resentment (one moves, one traps you)
• How women are conditioned to suppress anger—and why that’s not accidental
• Why “look at your part” can actually backfire for women
• What anger is really protecting (hint: it’s not just anger)
• How triggers aren’t problems—they’re information
• The connection between rage, grief, shame, and heartbreak
• Why humor might be one of your most underrated tools in recovery
• How to actually work with your anger instead of bypassing it

Because here’s the truth:

Anger isn’t dysfunction.

It’s data.

And when you stop trying to eliminate it—and start understanding it—it becomes something else entirely:

Clarity. Power. Direction.

This episode is for the woman who:

• Feels more intense since getting sober
• Is tired of being told to “just let it go”
• Knows something isn’t right—but hasn’t fully trusted herself yet
• Is done being agreeable, quiet, and easy to manage

You don’t need to become unbothered to heal.

You need to become honest.

• Anger is activating and truth-telling; resentment is looping and draining
• Women’s anger has been historically minimized to maintain control
• Early sobriety removes the buffer—so emotions come back louder
• Anger is often a secondary emotion (underneath = grief, shame, hurt)
• Triggers reveal unmet needs, not personal flaws
• You can feel rage and still be grounded, self-aware, and in control

If this episode hit a nerve—good.

That’s not a problem. That’s information.

And if you’re ready to stop suppressing, bypassing, or second-guessing yourself…

and actually learn how to work with your mind, your body, and your emotions in a way that builds self-trust—

Come sit with me inside Rewired Sober.

We're not numbing it out.

We're not bypassing it.

We ARE learning how to use it.

Begin.

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

What if the problem wasn’t just alcohol…

but the way you were taught to stop thinking for yourself?

In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on something bigger than recovery culture.

Deprogramming from AA dogma forced me to confront a deeper pattern—cult mentality—and how it shows up everywhere: sobriety spaces, religion, spiritual healing circles, coaching communities, friendships, and even romantic relationships.

We’re not talking about extreme, fringe groups.

We’re talking about everyday environments that:

• reward obedience
• punish questioning
• use fear, shame, or belonging to keep you in line
• slowly disconnect you from your own voice

I break down the actual psychological characteristics of cult-like systems, including:

• thought reform and control dynamics
• loaded language and black-and-white thinking
• why questioning gets labeled as “resistance” or “ego”
• how doctrine can override your lived experience
• and how self-trust quietly erodes over time

We also go deep into something that doesn’t get talked about enough:

spiritualized gaslighting.

You know the vibe:

• “you’re not manifesting hard enough”
• “your energy is off”
• “you’re low vibe”
• “you’re blocked”

When everything becomes your fault, even your pain.

I share honestly about why I was vulnerable to this—early sobriety, early business, high school (yikes), and relationships where I needed validation because underneath it all, I didn’t trust myself.

This is not about blaming groups or shaming people.

It’s about understanding how smart, capable women lose themselves in systems that promise healing, certainty, and belonging.

And more importantly—how we get ourselves back.

If you’ve ever:

• felt afraid to question something you were told was “the answer”
• noticed your mental health decline in a space that was supposed to help you
• felt like you had to perform, comply, or stay quiet to belong
• or realized you were outsourcing your identity, intuition, or worth

This episode is for you.

Because recovery isn’t about following the leader.

It’s about learning how to trust yourself again.

⬇️ READY TO GO DEEPER?

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire: https://calendly.com/katevitelacoaching/deep-dive-1-1-w-kate

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

Deprogramming AA Tools w/ Kirsten: https://www.sobrietybestie.com/