Rewired Sober: The Next Chapter

In today's episode, Kate pulls apart one of the biggest topics showing up in women’s recovery circles right now: ADHD in women, late diagnoses, masking, and why so many sober women suddenly “realize” they weren’t anxious or lazy. They were neurodivergent.

Kate breaks it all down with her signature mix of neuroscience, honesty, and unapologetic feminist fire.

She dives into:

• Why ADHD in women has exploded in awareness and why it is not a trend.
• How ADHD presents internally for women and why that led to decades of misdiagnosis.
• The neuroscience behind dopamine, executive function, and why alcohol felt like magic until it wasn’t.
• The overlap between ADHD symptoms and drinking behavior.
• How masking, perfectionism, and people pleasing become survival strategies for neurodivergent girls.
• Why midlife, perimenopause, and sobriety unmask symptoms women have been carrying since childhood.
• How cultural expectations and patriarchy keep women invisible in diagnostic spaces.
• Why many sober women finally receive an ADHD diagnosis.
• The impact of estrogen, dopamine and hormonal changes on ADHD symptoms.
• What ADHD women actually need instead of shame.
• How recovery tools like structure, community support and nervous system regulation help you rewire.

Rewired Sober Group Coaching Space Is Now Open: Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance designed for women in sobriety. You’ll get instant access to the full program, plus weekly live coaching sessions to help you rewire your brain, heal old patterns, and stay consistent. Enroll here: https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Mentioned in this episode:

Rewired Sober Group Coaching Program

https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program

Why do so many sober women still struggle with people pleasing and codependency, even after years of recovery?

In this powerful episode, Kate sits down with Dr. Sarah Michaud, clinical psychologist, author of Co-Crazy, and more than four decades sober, for a brutally honest conversation about the invisible emotional patterns that quietly drive addiction. Together, they explore the fears, childhood wounds, and survival strategies that keep women trapped in the cycle of pleasing, fawning, shutting down, and drinking to cope.

Dr. Sarah brings compassion, science, and humor to this massive topic, breaking down why codependency isn’t what you think it is and why it shows up even for women with long-term sobriety and successful careers. This episode is a masterclass in emotional literacy, nervous system regulation, and taking your power back.

In this episode, they discuss:

• The real definition of codependency
• Why women are conditioned to people please and fear disappointing others
• How childhood dynamics shape adult relationships
• The link between codependency, resentment, and drinking
• The shutdown, fawn, and freeze responses
• How to recognize your interpersonal fears in real time
• Why identifying your needs feels impossible for so many women
• How to get back into your body during conflict
• Practical steps for speaking up, setting boundaries, and choosing yourself
• Why anger can be a healthy and necessary part of recovery

Dr. Sarah’s wisdom reminds us that recovery starts long before the drink and continues long after. The work is learning to come home to yourself.

Her Bio:

Dr. Sarah Michaud is a clinical psychologist, author, and co-host of Leaving CrazyTown. For more than thirty years, she has worked in the field of addiction and codependency recovery, blending professional expertise with the hard-earned lessons of her own journey. Sober from alcohol and cocaine since 1984, she knows firsthand the pain of addiction—and the freedom that comes with recovery.

Rewired Sober Group Coaching Space Is Now Open: Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance designed for women in sobriety. You’ll get instant access to the full program, plus weekly live coaching sessions to help you rewire your brain, heal old patterns, and stay consistent. Enroll here: https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Connect with today's guest Dr. Sarah Michaud

website: https://drsarahmichaud.com/

Mentioned in this episode:

Rewired Sober Group Coaching Program

https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program

What happens when your public self looks polished and high-functioning, but your private life is quietly unraveling?

In this vulnerable and insight-packed guest episode, Kate sits down with Jennifer Mathieu, award-winning author of Moxie and The Faculty Lounge, longtime educator, and sober mom. Jennifer opens up about her ten-year spiral into “problematic drinking,” how alcohol became her nightly form of fake self-care, and the moment she became more curious than afraid about getting sober.

Drawing parallels between teaching and nursing, Kate and Jennifer explore the emotional weight of public-facing professions, the pressure to perform, and the resentment cycle that leads so many women to drink in secret. Jennifer shares how sobriety reshaped her identity as a teacher, a writer, a mom, and a woman who finally learned to stop setting herself on fire to keep everyone else warm.

In this episode, Kate and Jennifer talk about:

• What it feels like to live a double life in a public-facing career
• The ten-year buildup to Jennifer’s sobriety
• Why breaking a promise to her husband was the turning point
• The sneaky ways alcohol hides inside burnout, resentment, and people pleasing
• How alcohol became her nightly coping tool after motherhood
• The power of seeing sober women thriving on social media
• Learning to set real boundaries at work and at home
• Reclaiming identity outside of teaching, writing, and caregiving
• Sobriety as a “power boost” to years of therapy and personal work
• Why midlife is often the breaking point and the breakthrough

Referenced in this episode:

• Jennifer’s novels including Moxie (now a Netflix film) and The Faculty Lounge
• Sober Mom Collective meetings, where Jennifer is a weekly group leader

Rewired Sober Group Coaching Space Is Now Open: Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance designed for women in sobriety. You’ll get instant access to the full program, plus weekly live coaching sessions to help you rewire your brain, heal old patterns, and stay consistent. Enroll here: https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Connect with today's guest Jennifer Mathieu

https://www.jennifermathieu.com/

Mentioned in this episode:

Rewired Sober Group Coaching Program

https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program

In this powerful Veterans Day episode, Kate sits down with her husband, Phillip, a 20-year Army veteran and nearly four years sober, for an unfiltered conversation about PTSD, moral injury, institutional betrayal, and healing through recovery.

Together, they unpack what really happens inside the brain and body after trauma, how hypervigilance, anxiety, and moral conflict can take root long after the uniform or scrubs come off, and why alcohol often becomes the coping tool of choice for soldiers, nurses, and first responders alike.

Blending lived experience with neuroscience, Kate and Phillip explore what healing looks like for both veterans and civilians: self-compassion, connection, movement, and sobriety. This episode is both a love letter to those who serve and a reminder that trauma recovery isn’t about being broken, it’s about learning to rewire your nervous system and reclaim your life.

In this episode, they talk about:

• What PTSD really is (and what it isn’t)
• The concept of moral injury and why it hits soldiers, nurses, and first responders so deeply
• How trauma rewires the brain and how sobriety helps rewire it back
• The reality of institutional betrayal in military and healthcare systems
• The connection between trauma, alcohol, and survival mechanisms
• How they each healed through therapy, connection, and movement
• Why sobriety is the foundation of their recovery and marriage

Referenced in this episode:

• The Mankind Project (for men’s emotional healing and connection): mankindproject.org

Whether you’ve served, supported someone who has, or just know what it’s like to live with unhealed trauma, this episode offers compassion, education, and hope.

Rewired Sober Group Coaching Space Is Now Open: Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance designed for women in sobriety. You’ll get instant access to the full program, plus weekly live coaching sessions to help you rewire your brain, heal old patterns, and stay consistent. Enroll here: https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Connect with Today's Guest Phillip Vitela

https://www.instagram.com/a13photography/

SMART Recovery Meeting Finder

https://smartrecovery.org/meeting

Mentioned in this episode:

Rewired Sober Group Coaching Program

https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program

Ever find yourself sober and wondering, is this it?

In this refreshingly honest solo episode, Kate dives into one of recovery’s least talked about stages: boredom. Through personal stories, neuroscience, and real talk, she explores why life can feel flat in early sobriety and how that “blah” feeling isn’t failure—it’s your brain and nervous system recalibrating after years of artificial stimulation.

Kate shares what happens when dopamine levels drop, why we confuse stillness for boredom, and how to rebuild a sense of excitement, identity, and curiosity without reaching for the old quick hits. With humor and heart, she reminds us that sometimes healing looks like sitting in your messy diaper—the unglamorous, in-between stage where growth quietly begins.

In this episode, Kate dives into:

• Why boredom in sobriety is actually your brain healing
• Dopamine depletion and the science of “recalibration”
• The identity gap between who you were and who you’re becoming
• How to rediscover curiosity and joy in everyday life
• Building real friendships and connection in recovery
• Why stillness isn’t punishment

Kate closes the episode by reminding listeners that sobriety doesn’t take away your joy—it just gives you access to the real kind. And sometimes, the most powerful transformation starts in the stillness.

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire:

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

Mentioned in this episode:

Rewired Sober Group Coaching Program

https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program

What happens when a word that once saved you stops fitting?

In this raw and deeply personal solo episode, Kate opens up about one of the most controversial topics in recovery: why she no longer calls herself an alcoholic. After years in 12-step rooms and studying addiction as a psychiatric nurse, she’s unpacked what this label means medically, psychologically, and spiritually, and why it no longer reflects who she is today.

Kate explores the evolution of her own recovery, the science behind addiction and neuroplasticity, and how healing changes not just your habits but your identity. This episode challenges old narratives while holding space for every path that keeps people sober, reminding listeners that recovery is personal and growth means you get to change your mind.

In this episode, Kate talks about:

• Why she no longer identifies with the word alcoholic
• What neuroscience reveals about addiction and recovery
• How sobriety evolves from survival to self-trust
• The role of language and identity in long-term healing
• Why we must respect all recovery paths, even when they differ from our own

Kate reminds us that sobriety isn’t about the label you wear. It’s about the life you build beyond it.

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire:

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

Mentioned in this episode:

Rewired Sober Group Coaching Program

https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program

Can being too high-functioning actually keep you stuck in your drinking?

In this episode, Kate sits down with Rachel Mack Martin, author of Functional: A High Performer’s Guide to Freedom from Alcohol, to talk about what it really means to look like you “have it all together” while quietly struggling with alcohol.

Rachel, a director in financial services with an MBA and a life that appeared picture-perfect from the outside, opens up about how intelligence, success, and achievement can become tools of denial. Together, she and Kate unpack the hidden costs of being “functional,” why rock bottoms are overrated, and how letting go of perfection makes room for healing.

In this episode, Kate and Rachel talk about:

• What it means to be a “functional drinker”
• Why intelligence can keep us stuck in denial
• The myth of moderation and why it’s so seductive
• How Rachel’s 30-day break turned into 7 years of freedom
• Navigating relationships and social circles after quitting
• Finding support outside of traditional recovery paths
• The unexpected gifts of living alcohol-free

Rachel’s story is proof that you don’t need to lose everything to change everything — and that being smart isn’t what saves you from addiction, it’s what helps you rewrite your story once you’re ready to see it clearly.

Rachel Mack Martin is a director in financial services and holds an MBA, bringing an inquisitive mind to everything she does, including writing. Rachel lives in Minnesota with her husband and their three unpredictable cats. When not working or writing, you can find her drinking a strong cup of black coffee with at least one feline on her lap. Functional is her first book.

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire:

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

Connect with Today's Guest: Rachel Mack Martin

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rachel_mack_martin/

Amazon Link: https://a.co/d/5EUckcA

Mentioned in this episode:

Rewired Sober Group Coaching Program

https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program

What happens when one person in the family gets sober? The whole system shifts.

In this solo episode, Kate unpacks what really goes down when you walk into family gatherings clear-headed for the first time. From side-eyes at the dinner table to Aunt Linda clutching her Riesling like an emotional support animal, Kate blends humor, compassion, and psychology to help you understand why your family reacts the way they do, and how to stay grounded through it.

She explores family systems theory, the emotional minefield of the holidays, and how to set boundaries without losing your sense of self. Whether you’re one month or eight years sober, this conversation will help you find peace (and maybe a laugh) in the chaos.

In this episode, Kate dives into:

• Why your sobriety “threatens” the family system
• How to handle guilt trips, silence, and side comments
• Why anger is information, not failure
• The power of self-compassion in healing family wounds
• How to create your own grounded rituals during the holidays
• Why your sobriety will always ripple farther than you realize

Sobriety doesn’t just change you. It changes the whole dance. And even if your family never claps for you, you’re already rewriting the story.

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire:

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

Mentioned in this episode:

Rewired Sober Group Coaching Program

https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program

What if getting sober didn’t just change your habits, but changed the entire life you thought you wanted?

In this episode, Kate sits down with Kathryn Sabella, a divorced mom of two, recovery leader, and co-facilitator of The Sober Mom Collective. Kathryn shares how removing alcohol brought not only clarity but the courage to face the truth about her marriage and herself. Together, they unpack what it means to trust your intuition, navigate change, and choose self-love even when it disrupts everything around you.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• How sobriety gave Kathryn the clarity to confront hard truths about her marriage
• Why intuition and self-trust become louder when alcohol is gone
• How motherhood and people-pleasing can keep women stuck in “good enough” relationships
• The difference between doing the next right thing and the next loving thing
• What it means to make peace with divorce and create two happy homes
• Why giving up alcohol might be the first true act of self-love

Kathryn’s story is a reminder that sobriety doesn’t cause change, it reveals what’s been waiting for you all along. When the numbing stops, your truth has space to rise.

Rewired Sober Group Coaching Space Is Now Open: Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance designed for women in sobriety. You’ll get instant access to the full program, plus weekly live coaching sessions to help you rewire your brain, heal old patterns, and stay consistent. Enroll here: https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Connect with Today's Guest Kathryn Sabella:

Instagram: @kathryn.authenticaf

What if sobriety wasn’t about recovery, but about reclaiming your whole self?

From fashion blogger to sobriety advocate, Suzanne Warye is challenging mommy wine culture, dismantling the myth of moderation, and showing women that sobriety is not deprivation but transformation. In this conversation, she and Kate dive into motherhood, identity, personal style, and what it really means to create The Sober Shift.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

• Why Suzanne doesn’t use labels like “alcoholic” or “in recovery”
• How she built The Sober Mom Life podcast and community
• The subtle ways alcohol steals from women’s lives
• How fashion and self-expression became part of her sober rediscovery
• What to expect from her new book The Sober Shift

Suzanne’s story is proof that sobriety is about shifting perspective, owning your truth, and building a life that feels like home.

Rewired Sober 1:1 Coaching Spots Are Open (But Fill Up Fast) Start anytime and get 3 months of guidance from Kate designed for women in sobriety. Book a discovery call to inquire:

Connect with Kate @rewiredsober on all social media platforms:

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rewiredsober/

Email: [email protected]

Connect with Today's Guest Suzanne Warye:

• Instagram: @suzannewarye
• Podcast: The Sober Mom Life
• Website & book tour: www.suzannewarye.com
• Book: The Sober Shift (available now)

Mentioned in this episode:

Rewired Sober Group Coaching Program

https://kate-vitela.mykajabi.com/rewired-sober-coaching-program