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“The Ultimatum: Marry Or Move On” is less of a reality dating show, and more of a cautionary tale for straight people. A messy, unhinged, gripping one.

For the uninitiated here’s the premise: There are six long-term couples. One person in each couple has issued an ultimatum — they need to get married, or break up. The couples split, find a “trial marriage partner” from the group to match up with and live with for three weeks, then switch back and have a trial marriage with their original partner. At the end, each couple must decide whether to get engaged, break up, or leave with someone else that they met during the experience.

Three seasons in, we know what to expect from this Netflix show. Toxic relationships, toxic men, and toxic advice from Nick and Vanessa Lachey. But this season gave us a new innovation: Two couples who ghost their trial partners, pack up and leave the show with nary a word.

In this episode, we talk about the whole season of “The Ultimatum,” some of the gossip that has come out about the cast since, and the reunion. Hope you enjoy! Xo

Thanks to Harry Huggins for editing this episode.

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This week, we discuss two of the great homemaking influencers: Ballerina Farm (an unassuming tradwife Instagram icon), and Martha Stewart (a ruthless perfectionist and corporate mogul). In the midst of their recent moments in the cultural conversation — thanks to some high-profile interviews and a Netflix documentary, respectively — we were struck by how much overlap there is between these two women’s brands, and what has changed and stayed the same since Stewart’s time on top.

Ballerina Farm’s Hannah Neeleman has been on a media tour. She’s been posing as a blonde milkmaid on the old frontier for the cover of MAGA women’s mag Evie, and meanwhile she’s been telling the New York Times and Glamour that she’s actually not a traditional woman but an ambitious and successful entrepreneur. In the Evie photos she’s a reactionary’s wet dream, a model of how the future could resemble an imagined past when men were men and women were subservient. In the pages of center-left mainstream outlets, she’s basically a girl boss.

Martha Stewart has never entirely lost cultural relevance since she gained it decades, but the recent Netflix documentary “Martha,” directed by R.J. Cutler, provided an opportunity to consider her her carefully crafted brand and the context in which she rose to unparalleled fame as a tastemaker. When we were growing up, “Martha Stewart” was synonymous with the kind of perfect housewife who would put your homemaking and hosting skills to shame. She was also the richest woman in the world. The Stewart who emerges in the documentary is not exactly surprising — for one thing, she’s just as harsh and unforgiving to her staff as has long been reported — but the documentary does an excellent job drawing out how the feminized space of homemaking instruction provided a fertile space for a brilliant and ambitious woman to grow a lucrative multimedia empire.

Neeleman and Stewart are both beautiful, tall blonde women who married in the midst of getting degrees at prestigious colleges, then went on to build careers by depicting household skills like baking, gardening, and floral arrangement as fulfilling and aspirational. The exact lifestyles they model are distinct: for Neeleman, a blissful mom of eight with a deliberately homespun aesthetic meant to convey laidback authenticity; for Stewart, an unenthusiastic mom of one who wore high-end business casual attire while turning out absolutely flawless pastries and tablescapes.

But what they have both peddled is a version of a fantasy many burned-out women, working hard all day only to come home and put in a second shift caring for a home and family by themselves, have longed for over the past half-century. This is the fantasy: You can have it all. The ideal home life, the enviable career — it’s all possible for you. You can be the perfect homemaker and the kickass boss. You just have to turn the home into your career.

The political valences of their brands could not be more different. It’s an ambivalence, and a yearning, that clearly crosses the partisan divide. But right now, the tradwives are ascendent; they’re controlling that audience. And, it’s pretty clear, that’s a big fucking problem.

We discuss all this — plus the insidious figure of the self-proclaimed career woman whose career entails encouraging other women to give up theirs — in this week’s episode. Hope you enjoy! xo

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Lindsay Lohan isn’t just a zany rom-com leading lady! She’s a (semi) serious rom-com leading lady.

After “Falling for Christmas” (extremely unhinged) and “Irish Wish” (extremely AI-generated), Lohan apparently wanted to work on a film that was slightly more grounded. Enter “Our Little Secret.”

“Our Little Secret” follows exes Avery (Lohan) and Logan (Ian Harding), as they find themselves in an awkward situation over the holidays, when 10 years after their acrimonious breakup, they discover that their new partners are siblings. Obviously, hijinks ensue! And our gal Lindsay is *made* for hijinks. (A particularly delightful scene sees her attempting to do a reading at her boyfriend’s family church while she is extremely high.)

Like “Hot Frosty,” the supporting cast of “Our Little Secret” is stacked. Kristen Chenoweth is a pitch-perfect as Lohan’s cutting, icy, potential future mother-in-law, and while Dan Bucatinsky, Tim Meadows and Judy Reyes all feel a bit underutilized, it is a pleasure to see them on our screens.

This movie is still, of course, a made-for-streaming rom-com, but it’s also closer to the type of film you might have once expected to see getting a theatrical release. The direction by Stephen Herek, whose past works include “Don’t Tell Mom The Babysitter’s Dead,” “The Mighty Ducks” and “Mr. Holland’s Opus,” is skilled, the performances mostly work, and there are enough laughs to see you through the hour and 40 minutes. Plus, Ian Harding is a guy you might actually have a crush on!

In this episode, we go beat by beat and discuss what we enjoyed about this movie, and what didn’t work quite as well. Plus, we get into the unhinged choices made in that extended 10-years-pass credits sequence. Hope you enjoy! Xo

Special thanks to Harry Huggins for editing this episode.

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We imagine the pitch for “Hot Frosty” was simple: Olaf from “Frozen,” but he fucks. This Netflix holiday rom-com is here to remind us that Christmas may take place during the cold season, but it can still be *hot*.

“Hot Frosty” follows widow-slash-diner owner Kathy (Lacey Chabert) as she accidentally brings a notably chiseled snowman (Dustin Milligan) to life with a magical red scarf. Is she his mother? His lover? The lines are blurry and the plot holes are plentiful, but “Hot Frosty” commits to the bit. It also boasts ACTUAL JOKES, a pretty stacked supporting cast (Craig Robinson! Joe Lo Truglia! Lauren Holly!), and an undercurrent of anti-carceral sentiment running throughout. In these dark times, honestly we’ll take it.

We had a lot of fun talking about this horny movie, and we hope you enjoy listening! We could all use a little bit of silliness in this moment. Xo

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We don’t have any answers, but we do have a lot of feelings. We tried to express them in a cogent way, but full warning that we maybe were only partially successful. Claire would also like all of you to know that she’s angry and doing punditry. Please feel free to ignore her (or both of us!) if that’s not where you’re at right now.

We love you all. We are so very grateful for this little community we’ve built together. Onward.

Thank you to Harry Huggins for editing this episode so we didn’t have to.

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Warning: This post and episode contain spoilers for the “Love Is Blind” season 7 reunion!

This “Love Is Blind” DC reunion had it all, if “it all” refers to every one of Nick and Vanessa Lachey’s well-documented inadequacies as hosts: corny dad jokes that Nick’s punch-up writer clearly prepared well in advance, missed lines of questioning and failures to follow up on important points, muddled back-and-forth disputes between the cast that dragged out for long minutes while the moderators mentally checked out, Vanessa claiming dubious familial relationships with the “Love Is Blind” babies, and, of course, a couple of the biggest villains of the season being let off the hook with barely a slap on the wrist apiece.

What the reunion episode didn’t have was even more infuriating — most notably, the truth about Tyler’s three kids. The reunion taped before his children’s mother went public with her side of the story, and so he doesn’t address or acknowledge her allegations that he conceived two of his children with her as part of a sexual relationship, not as a sperm donor, and that he was fully present as a dad in the lives of all three of her kids. Instead, he and Ashley come prepared to paint him as a generous but naive guy who was just trying to help a single mom and got a little too involved. Ashley may be the biggest disappointment of the episode, as she insists that she knows all about Tyler’s relationship with his kids and stands by him — indicating that she is supportive of his apparent decision to ghost his three young kids.

Meanwhile, Hannah touts her immense self-awareness and growth since the show while continuing to be glib and unbothered by the hurt she caused others — not just Nick, but her purported bestie Katie as well — and taking the first opportunity to turn things around on Nick and paint him as the true villain of their relationship. And though we can’t and won’t endorse a man going on this show and calling his partner “a grenade,” we can’t and won’t justify her cruel treatment of him throughout the show simply because he has also said unkind things.

There’s a lot more said and unsaid on this reunion, and we dig into as much as we can in this episode. Also inside: how Tim continues to unsettle us, Marissa’s unwise choice to burn her good will by taking on Nick’s golden retriever reputation, women as food with feelings, and all those unnecessary alumni updates. Hope you enjoy! xo

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Warning: This post and episode contain spoilers for the “Love Is Blind” season 7 finale!

The first 15 minutes of the “Love Is Blind” season 7 finale was riveting and wrenching. The following hour was largely boring, with sides of sweetness and dramatic irony. This is one of those finales that should have jumped straight into a reunion. (Not that we think the Lacheys are equipped to handle it.)

And yet! We still had a lot to say this 82-minute episode that could have been an email.

We get into Marissa and Ramses’ absolutely devastating breakup (WE HAVE BOTH BEEN MARISSA!!!), Tyler and Ashley’s marriage (well, mostly about everything that has come out since about Tyler), and our one gleaming beacon of hope: Taylor and Garrett. Plus, we do some finale friends and enemies rankings. Hope you enjoy! Xo

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The psychologist John Gottman has posited that there are four horsemen that portended doom in a relationship: contempt, criticism, defensiveness and stonewalling. If this theory didn’t already exist, it could have been developed simply by watching this season of “Love Is Blind,” in which contempt and criticism have infected several of the relationships root and branch.

Any amateur shrink could look at the couples who emerged from a less-than-blissful Mexican honeymoon and identify that Alex and Tim, Stephen and Monica, and Hannah and Nick hated each other on a bone-deep level, and they all simply needed to break up. After Stephen and Monica’s dramatic split in last week’s episode drop, the other two toxic couples finally ended things. Tim and Hannah, true to form, executed their respective breakups in the most contemptuous manner possible.

Meanwhile, Tyler has committed to lying through his teeth to his fiancée Ashley about his three children, thus preserving their relationship (for now, at least). Ramses continues to expose his condom-averse fuckboy side, doing far too little to assure Marissa that he will stick by her when she’s not in peak sexual form. Garrett responds to a text from an ex, but maybe just to say that he’s engaged. Are these really the best bachelors the DMV has to offer?

In this episode, we discuss the two unnecessarily nasty dumpings, a conspicuously Leo-free pod mixer, Tyler’s ongoing lies and the many moments of dramatic irony they occasion, Garrett and Taylor’s biggest hurdle to date, and the creeping sense of doom surrounding Marissa and Ramses’s romance. Hope you enjoy! xo

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At this point, it feels like it happens every season. You think you know who the villains are… and then more episodes come out and the TikToks start rolling in. Move on over, Leo. Stephen and Tyler (sob!) are ready to take your place.

In this week’s batch of “Love Is Blind” episodes, our couples finish out their time in Cabo and head back to our nation’s capital. Once they’re back in DC, we watch them move in together, see each other’s homes, and meet each other’s families. They also get their devices back. For some couples, like Garrett and Taylor, this means confronting the benign horrors of fish pics. For others, like Monica and Stephen, this means discovering that your partner has been sexting while drunk during a sleep test????

And then there’s Tyler and Ashley. The conversation that they have at the end of episode 9 seems confusing… until you head over to TikTok and watch @storytimewithrikki’s many videos about Tyler’s past, specifically his relationship to his three children. Then things become less confusing and more rage-inducing.

In this episode, we discuss the couples’ final days in Cabo, the meaty conversations between Rams and Marissa, all the Tyler tea (or at least the tea that had come out by the time we taped), and our new beacon of hope — Garrett and Taylor. Hope you enjoy! Xo

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Our nation’s preeminent insta-marriage reality show has taken its talents to the capital for season seven! It’s “Love Is Blind,” DC edition, and this mammoth first drop (six episodes, some close to 75 minutes long) showcases that special DMV flavor. Cast members work at think tanks and ponder whether they would have spoken to each other if they’d met “on the Hill.” One recites a love poem that rhymes “spot [as in, pod] number four” with “my queen from Baltimore.” The armed forces boast heavy representation, including a dater who volunteered in the military defense of Ukraine. There are girlbosses and soft men who are deconstructing their toxic masculinity, and therefore many conversations about the equitable distribution of domestic labor. The season even features our very first art dealer, who has come to reality television to find a woman who wants him for more than his money but makes sure to disclose his financial resources to his prospects.

With almost seven hours of drama to discuss, we left so much on the cutting room floor in this recap. But we dug into as much as we could.

We try to understand each of the men we get to know: Stephen, the gentlest bundle of red flags we’ve ever seen; gregarious law student Marissa’s two eminently crushable love interests, Bodhan and Ramses; Tim, who loves to make decisions driven by spite; pod villain and art dealer Leo. Then there are the women: sweet aspiring trophy wife Brittany; bubbly Hannah, who seeks a hunky man who isn’t shallow; policy advisor Taylor, who speaks in STEM references; Ashley, who longs to have the solid marriage her mother never did.

Finally, this episode gets into the (extremely telling) first reveals and the honeymoon trip to Cabo, where it becomes clear that several of the women are already getting the ick.

Hope you enjoy! xo

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