Wendy, we know you desire us but we are not coming over at 6am...That's how we got started on a Monday...Things kicked off with a bit of a scuffle with Jane's Addiction...A few men won a Nobel Peace Prize for discovering that some mammals breathe through their back door...Tito Jackson didn't make it...We lost Tito at 70yrs old...A substitute teacher was caught auditioning his hand puppet during periods in a school...Is there a marine biologist in the house? Sea otters are on the attack...Johnny checked back in after his vacation, and of course he had an otter story...Another assassination attempt happened with former president Donald Trump yesterday...He was unharmed...Thanks to TikTok people are purchasing and eating dirt and clay...We are #1...The USA is officially the fattest it has ever been...Please do not steal someone's meatloaf sandwich...A woman wanted to teach her co-workers a lesson...Someone kept stealing her food so she put laxative in the sandwich and found out quickly who the culprit was...Take a lemon...Maybe a pitcher...Maybe even some money...But the kids' whole lemonade stand? That's what happened to a young kid who just wanted to make a buck and buy a dirt bike...We were at the Melissa Etheridge show over the weekend and we reminisced as she took us through her journey through womanhood...It was quite hot and heavy...She enjoyed our dirty French Broad...Friar tummy tuck is a problem...A friar embezzled close to a million dollars for plastic surgery...The traffic has been a nightmare this morning for people...The world's oldest cat has died at 33 years old...If you are looking for a long lasting relationship just make your way to Butte, Montana...That's BUTTE Rizzo...Not Butt...Did I do that?!?! Jaleel White says doing the Steve Urkel ruined his vocal cords...If you misplaced your ketamine at the Dulles airport, just call the TSA...Don't misplace this Monday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

REALLY BIG SHOW!! Rizzo decided to channel Ed Sullivan this morning to kick things off on Friday the 13th...2 birthday bonanzas and a story about the USPS were a part of opening audio...A guy had to suffer through a mariachi happy birthday from a drunk neighbor...When you are in your 80's, let's not put 80+ candles on a cake...The USPS is getting new trucks and people are elated...A man. A car. A cucumber. A lunchbox...How do they all go together? A man took a cucumber and stuck it in the grille of a car and then proceeded to make love to it...Then he put it back in his lunchbox and left...Astronauts Butch and Suni are still stuck in space...No worries though...A private citizen who is a billionaire took the first spacewalk...He made it home safe...The woman Dave Grohl had an affair with is a "porn goddess" ...A man was found dead in a freezer inside of a Food Lion in NC...Melissa Etheridge is coming to town and we needed to get juiced...We had a Melissa montage and got ourselves in the zone! Today is Bald Is Beautiful...Listeners lit up the phone lines and we got quite a comprehensive list...Vern Troyer...Telly Savalas...The Dali Llama...Steve Harvey...Micheal Jordan...Elmer Fudd...Terry Bradshaw...The list went on and on and on...The world's biggest bodybuilder died at the young tender age of 36...Guess how? There is a new Kamala Harris Ben & Jerry's flavor...It's Kamala's Coconut Jubilee...A court could clear the way for there to be betting on election outcomes...A woman got arrested for assault after accidentally shooting her neighbor with a super soaker...A documentary is coming about the biggest game show win of the 1980's on Press Your Luck...How about this for a Happy Gilmore twist...In place of Bob Barker...Pat Sajak...Get you Krispy Kreme donuts for 13 cents today...A DJ was removed from an event after he stripped naked...Remove yourself from whatever you are doing and listen to the Friday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

Let's kick the show off with a little UNC ugghhhh uggghhhh uggghhhh SMOOCH...Shannon Sharpe accidentally left his Instagram Live up as he was having some private time with a lady...A woman was disgusted by a guy clipping his toenails by a pool...To repo or not repo...A man came up with a way to keep his car from getting hitched on to the back of a tow truck...He put propane in the trunk and then put a sign in the windshield that said the car will blow up if moved...Rizzo threw on his best local TV midafternoon newscaster as he teased the next story...URINE...A man is going into a local Dollar Tree and is continuously urinating in candles...Someone sniffed the candle and it spilled on them...The manager offers her clothes to the people urinated on...Can someone stop this hooligan...Dave Grohl hired a divorce attorney before announcing he had a baby out of wedlock...Jon Bon Jovi saved a woman from jumping off of a bridge while he was filming a video on that same bridge...A huge loss for America...Kevin Hart's plant based restaurants "The Hart House" have shuttered their doors...Folks, meet Diezel DePew...He is a guy who was elected mayor of a town in Florida when he was 17yrs old and now...We have an email out to him...Woman ended her 8 year relationship with a Boeing 737...Is the men's restroom a no talk zone? We have someone here at work that just loves to chat away every time you see him in there...A grandson slapped his grandmother over an inheritance...Be careful if you encounter anyone on horseback...A Doordash driver was making a delivery when he encountered 2 men on horseback...They blocked the road and then shot at his car...Tom Brady's broadcasting career drew in more people watching the NFL during the opening weekend than it has in 4 years...You can hire a professional wedding destroyer if you have cold feet...He will come to your wedding and object among other things...Louisiana residents do not want Jim Cantore in their state as a hurricane is on its way...What we want is for you to check out the Thursday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

Have you taken your once daily Jardiance? Opening audio kicked off with a dad who keeps his baby from crying by singing the Jardiance commercial song...A woman with a pregnancy brain accidentally ordered 99 bananas on a food shopping order...Australians want you to poo more at work, so they started a campaign...They want you to picture Taylor Swift going to the bathroom...When you go in for gallbladder surgery, make sure your doctor does not use YouTube to get instructions on how to perform the surgery...Sally Duval is a woman running for the state senate in Texas and she is running on the campaign of legalizing weed there...So much so that her campaign ad is her hitting a gravity bong...Do dabs with Duval...JNN time as we remember the lives lost on 9/11...We had a 27 second recap of the presidential debate from last night...It pretty much summed it all up...A house costing $8.5 million was sold in Arden...Welcome to the neighborhood Mr. Cosby...We have some bad boy husbands on our hands...One husband slept with his wife's mother...The mother said she is doing it for the family...Another husband slept with the babysitter and then asked his wife to stay with him and raise the baby that the babysitter does not want to raise...We spent an hour trying to "sex" Rizzo's new unisex car...Is it a Peggy Sue? A Gertie? The conversation got quite deep this morning, and the calls did not stop flying in...Maybe the car is just a Pat...What is a Pawpaw fruit? They seem to be a thing in North Carolina...A single ticket was sold for the $800 million Mega Millions jackpot in Sugarland, TX...A reboot of The Office is off and running called "The Paper" ...It looks like none of the original cast will be a part of it from the start...The Indonesians dig up their family members who have passed away and they redress them...Putting Indonesia on our no visit list...What you should visit is the Wednesday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

The word Johnson meant a much different thing during the Reagan administration...It was all ruined by the Big Johnson clothing line...A woman ordered a croissant lamp on Temu and actually got a lamp shoved through a croissant...A woman found out at a wedding from the woman he was being cheated on with that it was happening...He walked up to her and gave her the "we need to talk" ...Poor Flo...We read the worst obituary of all time of a woman who was a behemoth and a terror to her family...She didn't want an obituary but she sure got one...The body cam footage is out pertaining to the Tyreek Hill arrest...Elon Musk is going to send humans to Mars by 2028...Two men were arrested while attempting to rob a Spirit Halloween store in skeleton masks...Today we celebrate the life of James Earl Jones...We went through some of his most iconic work...We found his Bell Atlantic commercial work was some of his best...RIP James...A new trend in high schools is teens wearing children's backpacks...A court case is headed to the Supreme Court over a $70,000 engagement ring...The couple did not make it to the altar and the man ended it because she was verbally abusive and he thought she may be cheating...She won initially but it was appealed...Jeff with a quality Listener Court win today after a ton of calls...Give the man the ring back....Are you trying to gender a car this morning? The answer is yes...Rizzo got a car from a buy here pay here to have it for a short amount of time, but we can't figure out if his white Honda Civic is a male or female car...We have decided to take the night to think about it and delve more into this hot button issue tomorrow...Red Lobster just will not go down without a fight...They are running political ads stating that cheddar bay biscuits will help bring the country together...We are still up in the air with the new Wheel Of Fortune...What you should not be up in the air about is listening to the Tuesday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

We have Glenn scoops a plenty to kick off Monday...A father wanted his boy to get all of the girls in school...A man finally unlogged a Lego dot from his nose after 25 years while in the shower...How it got up there, we do not know...Finally the Glenn scoop...A virtual assistant that was tricked into saying a silly name...That was for a listener of ours Glenn...Waiting all weekend for that huh? A weed store that opened on the Cherokee reservation can now sell weed to people 21 and up...Remember that police in NC will still enforce state law when it comes to Marijuana...The Goonies sequel is going to be happening with the original cast...Chiefs superfan "Chiefs-aholic" was sentenced to 17 1/2 years in jail for bank robberies...Tom Brady kicked off his broadcasting career this past weekend to mixed reviews...Our social media follow of the week is Connie Chung...She joined to promote her new book but also had Maury on as well...We are concerned for her well-being after listening to the way Maury treated her on the video...A man missed his girlfriend so much after their breakup that he shipped himself to her house in a box and popped out of it once he got inside...Kathy Bates is back and she is going to be playing in the reboot of "Matlock" as Matty Matlock...We didn't see that one coming...We wonder if she will enjoy eating all of the hot dogs on the show like Matlock did...We wish you the best...Is using a public restroom a right or a privilege? BJ called and worried about the homeless...Well that's what we have Patton Ave for...A woman's sister charged her $72 and had an itemized list of each thing her daughter used while staying over for the weekend...From toilet flushes to Netflix...A mother entered a school to fight students messing with her daughter...The worst Taco Bell in America is in Deltona, FL...A man is suing Whataburger because coffee that spilled on his groin was too hot...Slice soda which has 10% juice in it is back...We are back for another week of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

Funny hair in funny places...Rizzo has finally grown up and promised to stop doing silly voices at drive-thrus...One guy in a timely fashion did a Beetlejuice voice...Enough...Steve Harvey thinks there are sports in which athletes fondle each other in Venezuela...Hey weirdo...When you walk into a ladies room by accident, just turn around and walk out...Don't sit and apologize...That's what one guy did for 45 seconds...Leave the bathroom...Have you ever gotten black out drunk after 6 Miller Lites? Well one woman did and she broke into a funeral home and stole a casket with a body in it...She was caught...The father of the suspected Georgia high school shooter has been arrested and charged on multiple counts...A Tesla had to be stopped as the passenger was asleep while the car was on autopilot on a highway in North Carolina...Upon the stop drugs were found...George Clooney is concerned about his aging so he promised Brad Pitt he would sign an NDA to have his aging secrets...Where has Gary Busey been? Well no worries because we found out...He's been hanging out with Mr. Pumpkin Head and also he has been eating butter sausage...A prosthetic leg was left behind at Pritchard Park in Downtown Asheville and we are actively trying to find who it belongs to...How do you forget your prosthetic leg? What is the greatest breakfast cereal of all time? They say it is Cinnamon Toast Crunch...Jeff goes with an oldie but goodie...Cookie Crisp...What is with people being nude all the time lately? A man was arrested after he entered his neighbors yard nude...Not once, but twice...He was caught and copped to it...Kamala Harris preps her greens in the bathtub when she is throwing large parties...The world's oldest and biggest goldfish "The Carrot" didn't make it...The fish died of natural causes...What's natural is for you to check out the Friday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

Nathan Lane aka Rizzo kicked off the show after he obviously tapped into a sassafras tree...A roided up tough guy tried to fight a kid for complimenting his car...A woman had an emotional breakdown after a break up because Taco Bell gave her a free Baja Blast...And heeerrreee we go...Swifties are now explaining football to other Swifties as we get ready for the first game of the NFL season tonight with the Chiefs and Ravens...Barney is returning...Don't know why...Now all the kids that grew up with Barney have another shot to be tickled by a big purple dinosaur...The serial Louisville pooper strikes again...Tuesday we talked about a man who continues to drop a #2 on the same house, and he struck again...He is still on the loose!! Another senseless school shooting happened in Georgia...We update you and give you the latest...Do you share deodorant with your whole family? Well one woman does, and she is going viral for not only sharing that but also loofahs and hairbrushes etc...Reginald Vel Johnson...AKA Carl Winslow has been announced for this season's Dancing With The Stars...We racked our brains trying to figure out any other living 80's TV dad that might possibly be a better option...It was hard...Al Bundy? Dan Conner? Tim Taylor? Tony Danza?....Now all though this would fire many people up, the ratings would go through the roof...Cosby...We had to ask folks to stop calling...A family put out a missing person's report for their loved one after he went missing from the nursing home...The folks at the nursing home say he signed himself out...He was found a day later dead inside of a closet at the nursing home...A man was so upset about a break-up with his girlfriend that he burnt down her parents' home...Heinz is sending a 9ft pickle all over the world to promote the new pickle flavored ketchup...A man went in for an emergency surgery to have his spleen removed and the doctor removed his liver instead...He didn't make it...It has been a show of emotions today for sure...Check out this Thursday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

Wednesday kicked off learning that Rizzo was a real crank yanker in Queens...He loved using the 3-way call feature to connect Chinese restaurants with Korean supermarkets...Rachel Ray almost killed a qualluded up Tony Bennett...She polished her floors so much that he slipped and hit his head...Did you know the big bonus of living in a van is that you can BBQ? Well, a man got married while living in his father's basement...The big twist was that his dad won the $1 million lottery and gave his kid all of the money...Did you know Wilford Brimley has oat ears? A woman went to the Dr., and they told her that she is not going to live long because her ears are small...Also it was stated in a medical journal that men's ears grow as they get older...For some reason we looked at Brimley's ears...Can you toggle? If you're tired of getting political messages you can go to messages and turn on no messages from unknown senders...The rumors continue with Kim Kardashian eventually taking over for Vanna White...A break-up contract has gone viral between Travis Kelce and Taylor Swift that supposedly is going to come out 9/28...They deny it...Lt. Governor Mark Robinson denies a story that he frequented adult video stores in the 90's...He went so much that he would bring pizza pie and preview movies with workers...He also would have movies bootlegged for him...He owes one employee $25 for the bootlegging work...The employee was not happy and made a rock/rap song about it...One of the 1000lb sisters decided to try to munch down on a live camel at a safari in Tennessee...The meth probably didn't help...We talked about eating gamey meats and it seems Elk is the way to go...A manhunt is on in South Carolina for a man that did the switcharoo...It led the news there...He poured out detergent from the cheap bottle and filled it with expensive detergent at a Dollar General...Hold on to your biker shorts because a restaurant in North Carolina says you basically have to wear a suit and dress to enter their restaurant and people are up in arms about it...A woman was ready for a firehose...She wanted to meet firefighters so badly that she was committing arson and then talking to the firefighters when they arrived...The Hawk Tuah girl is back with a new podcast...Grab yourself a porn papadilla and check out the Wednesday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

We don't give you the whole audio piece...Just the clips to start your Tuesday back...Dating in Alabama is tough...Try to avoid dating your family members or you'll have kids with elbow knees...A woman in Indiana was told telepathically from Kanye West to steal a car with a baby in it...A man gave us a motivational speech which could have been the worst ever...Sounded like he was reading it from the ledge of a building...Ken Jennings Jeopardy career is on the ropes because he does not have great comedic timing...He has hired famed comedian Bruce Valanch to help with his jokes...We finally found a quality news story...Not quality in the content but quality in how it was delivered...A man kept doing a #2 on a family's porch...The second time he did it he rang the doorbell...He must have been proud of that one...A reminder to everyone in Asheville...Police will never call or email you if you have a warrant out for your arrest...Don't fall for the scam...Joey Chestnut plowed through 83 hotdogs on Labor Day to win 100k...NASA astronauts Butch and Suni are still stuck in space and are hearing weird sounds...What U Talkin Bout Willis? Gary Coleman murdered? That is the new documentary coming out 15 years after his death...His wife is rumored to have done 4ft 8' Gary in...Just the stumps? A group of people keeps leaving food past the sell by date at a shelter...Cheetos...Yogurt...Does the sell by date mean expired? Is it wrong to take 3 TO-GO plates from a BBQ...That's what Jeff did...That is our Listener Court this morning brought to you by VooDoo Brewing Co. in Arden...Gil called and still wants Jeff dead...Teachers it's OK to try to be cool..Let's quit with the rapping...A man drank 24oz of ranch in 10 seconds to win a contest...Keep your eye out on your fast food apps as the prices on the app could be more than the menu prices...Tim Walz was at the state fair licking an ice cream cone...Afterwards he got in a fender bender...Get yourself a cone to lick and listen to the Tuesday after Labor Day edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!