It's a wet and wild one today...Get out the slip and slide...Hit the bump and take a ride...Let's not wind up in a Chinese man box...It is Opening Audio time...We start it with some bad boy Canadian tongue...A Canadian man was not happy with a sign that was put up in front of his house overnight and he got a ticket...Old man newscasters got hot and saucy over a fire hydrant that was broken and the water was shooting out...A woman has just about had it when it comes to her ID...Her first name is L.A., and she keeps getting her ID with a picture of a Chinese man...A man stripped naked, only wearing a medical mask and ran into a Family Dollar...He danced in front of the clerk and ran out...Johnny figured it out...He was a medical student getting hazed...Dennis The Menace hated Dennis The Menace...Jay North passed away and we heard audio of how he absolutely hated the character and the show and he only watches it to make himself sick...Over 7500 people showed up to protests in Downtown Asheville on Saturday...The sale of TikTok has been extended another 75 days...Oprah has left her dogs $30 million in case anything happens to her...Our question is what has she left Steddy Graham? If you're a teen, Steddy has a wealth plan for you...People are getting body slammed at the Minecraft movie? Minecraft did much better than most thought...Over $300 million, and for some reason people are going crazy when the chicken scene comes on...Dominos is becoming a Schnatter situation...They have come out with a white chocolate Easter egg that is infused with garlic and herb...A study of a large group of men say they can outrun a horse, an elephant and a crocodile...A guy tried to bring an artificial intelligence lawyer into the courtroom, and it did not go over well with the judge...Tariffs could really make the price of iPhones go sky high...A New Jersey town wants nothing to do with Jon Bon Jovi's restaurant...Speaking of restaurants, would you get a tattoo of a Chinese restaurant to get a lifetime supply of crab rangoon? Why are we talking about Henry Winkler's hams? Grab yourself a Patty Labelle buttermilk pie and listen to this Monday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

How do you rob the Amish? They are such docile people...We will get to that as we kick off a pretty packed Friday show...Opening Audio is upon us...We don't have a square to spare so we have to get moving...First we learned that Jeff was afraid of Kringle...Then we heard a story of a kid who said daddy there is a monster under my bed...Well there was actually a man under the bed...He ran out of the house but was captured...A man in Canada has a 4ft tall sculpture of a man part sitting in his front yard and it is causing controversy in the neighborhood...It curves to the left...The kid ate pappy...A woman was freaking out because her child got into her dads urn and started eating the ashes...The mayor of Minot, ND resigned yesterday after he pulled a Jeffrey Toobin...He pulled it out on his lunch and recorded a video...He meant to send it to someone starting with a "C"...He sent it to the city attorney instead...A dentist solicited an employee at his practice by starting the conversation asking if she has daddy issues...His loins were ready...Tim Stokely who used to be the owner of OnlyFans has put in a last minute bid to purchase TikTok...Imagine what that will turn into...Donald Trump has put tariffs on a few uninhabited islands that have only penguins and seals...Cheating on your wife is never a good thing...A green beret did just that with his yoga teacher and his wife beheaded him...Why would anyone rob the Amish? Maybe it is puberty...Someone in PA is robbing the Amish while they are on their horse and buggy's...We learned that the Amish get crazy when puberty hits...A man named Speedy Gonazalez "yes that is his real name" was arrested for stealing from Walmart...He did not run away...A woman charges her husband $2700 a week for her stay at home wife services...She has everything itemized...She probably isn't too far off...Do you order a 10 ounce sirloin to go at Chilis? Rizzo did...He botched the 3 For Me and left spending $52...It could be a rough hurricane season...Be careful when you wear Jordan sneakers and a Jordan jersey...They are linked to Tren De Aragua...Clowns are having a summit this weekend because bookings for clowns have really fallen to low numbers...A spoon full of pappy helps the medicine go down...And we hope it helps you swallow this Friday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

Let's pull some tricks out of the fifth pocket of our Levi's jeans to get things going this morning...It is Opening Audio time...We are going to do something called contrasting newsman...First off...No one is better to party with than fat Roker...One newscaster gave an upbeat cup of joy story about a family that had identical quadruplets...The story was upbeat...The next newsman was a guy that was literally dying on the air...He told a story about a teacher showing nudes to her students...His soul was leaving his body as he told the story...We have some foul fowls...A man went to his ex-girlfriend's house to get his chicken Polly...Cops hunted him down and he begged them to not hurt his chicken...The domestic turkey might be the way to go when it comes to a pet...They last 10 years...A postman was attacked by a gaggle of turkeys...Bubbles is tired of playing the what's in your mouth game...Latoya Jackson went to visit Micheal Jackson's chimp Bubbles and kept asking what was in his mouth..."Helene" has officially been retired as a name to be used for hurricanes and tropical storms...Amazon has thrown their name into the hat for purchasing TikTok...Jean-Claude Van Damme is being charged with human trafficking in Romania...An elementary school principal was arrested for throwing parties that involved weed, alcohol and brandishing guns...A real party animal...Did you ever think of this? No one ever kidnaps a large...A woman went into the worst part of Chicago where women get kidnapped...She's 266 lbs and said she will drop to the ground...Smart...William Shatner is trying to scare the crap out of Gayle King...Literally...Gayle will be heading to space on 4/12...Shatner told her she will be wearing a diaper and brought up the Hindenburg...Does yellow mustard go in the fridge after you open it? Dating in the 1980's was quite uncomfortable...We played some clips of men on a dating channel trying to romance the ladies...A fight broke out on a plane after a woman offered another woman perfume for her body odor...A woman robbed banks while pregnant and her husband had no idea while he was the driver...Kanye's wife finally left him and he made a song...The NFL has laid out a list of gestures that are banned including the nose swipe...We feel it would be a great gesture if you could check out this Thursday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

Jeff has recovered after Rizzo's Bozo The Clown antics yesterday for April Fools Day...Let's get going with a little Marsha harmonica and Opening Audio...A man tried an April Fools prank with some of his regulars at his restaurant...He put lime juice in their fruit punch...It didn't go over well...Leave the elders alone...A police officer was arrested for breaking into a house...He actually wasn't breaking into though...He was having an affair with his co-worker and the co-workers wife caught him...The Spanish that Dora The Explorer speaks is too proper according to one woman...It needs to have a little more slang...We have talked about how Hooters is filing for bankruptcy...But one person is ready to invest $50 million to save it...That person is Kelly Clarkson...Another accuser has come out against Diddy...This time the accuser has named others that were at the party and witnessed what was happening...Jay-Z, Beyonce, Lebron James and Gloria Estefan...The Tush Push has not been banned yet...Although now both teams will get possession in overtime during the upcoming NFL season...The fate of TikTok will be decided today...Val Kilmer didn't make it...Val Kilmer passed away at the young age of 65...We went through some of his best lines from movies...A woman won $2.5 million on a scratch off and accidentally left it in the pocket of a jacket she donated...Somehow that turned into a convo about egg salad sandwiches...People called about their love for vending machine egg salad sandwiches...A man in Asheville was arrested after he pulled a machete while attempting to steal a cinnamon bun...Kanye West says that he never wanted to have kids with Kim...Imagine being his kid...Four kids were arrested for starting the wildfires in South Carolina...They didn't stomp out their cigarettes...We are now privy to the love life of Maury and Connie Chung as they have a new podcast and we now know that Sunday is "their" day...The DNA test says we are your fathers...So check out this Wednesday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!! 

HONK HONK HONK!! April Fools...Did you ever wonder how Jessica Simpson keeps up her vocals...That starts Opening Audio...Her vocal coach told her that drinking snake juices will help keep her voice top notch...A police officer was arrested after it was found that he had cameras hidden in the bathroom of his OWN house...He recorded his wife, sister in-law and her pappy...If you're a cop and in a police chase, play fair...Two guys were running and had to stop for air in their tires and then got arrested...Let them fill and start up again...Where do you buy a samurai sword? A man attacked another man with one...The calls came in about where to find samurai swords...Donald Trump is thinking about running for a third term...He says that there are ways he can do it...The new version of Linkin Park is having trouble selling tickets...A man is going to buy a $10 million dog...Listener Court got going as Rizzo is dead set on going on a cruise for summer vacation...Jeff has advised against it...Cruises suck...What say you? The calls flew in...Rizzo heads to the sea it seems...What is that sound? We played audio of a woman whose mobility scooter lost control and she crashed through a storefront...Jacob was able to nail it...A sassy 106 year old woman is not very happy with a few airlines because they don't believe she is that age when she goes to the airport...Randy Wallace who is being pushed out at Fox had to interview her...We gave a wildfire update...The rain certainly helped with the containment...A repo man had his head run over when he tried to repossess a car...A police officer went on a date and it went bad fast...After some drinks the woman stole his car keys and then stole his cop car...Chad Kroeger spoke at a city council meeting...But it wasn't actually him...It was a kid pulling a silly prank about climate change...A woman with the world's largest tongue can play board games with it...What does a pastor have to do to find himself a girlfriend...Well one broke into a woman's and was caught on her security footage...We would like to catch you listening to this Tuesday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

Could Rosie turn because of a strapping Irish lad? Those are the things we have to think about as we get going on a less smokey Monday here in Asheville...Marsha hit us with the harmonica and got us going this morning...We have problems in Idaho...They are attempting to ban truck nuts...It is getting bi-partisan support...A guy can't figure out why someone keeps leaving full bottles of urine in his trash can...A man went crazy in a Wally World and destroyed TV's and milk...Mexican bologna is a hot ticket item when it comes to smuggling...An Albuquerque man was nailed for trying to smuggle 242 pounds across the border...The Police Chief of a New Jersey county was accused of doing some horrible things at work...He shaved his body hair and left it on a coworker's desk...He put Viagra and Adderall in the coffee...That was just some of the things...Butch and Suni will have a press conference at 2:30pm...Is the crazy clown scaring people epidemic back? Stories are starting to emerge...One involved a man dressed as Ronald McDonald getting arrested while he honked his horn the whole time...You can get a DWI if you drink too much caffeine...Rosie O'Donnell has moved to Ireland...She found her long lost cousin Dan, and wants to become the next Donnie and Marie with him...Also, she found a 12 year old boy in soggy socks outside of her house at 12am...Must see TV...Tonight on ABC is the Oprah Menopause Special...It is a "taboo" topic she claims...Let's grab some beers and check it out...Are you "mid" on Jon Lovitz...Lovitz is bringing back the show The Critic...Can you think of anything done by Lovitz that sticks out? Wichita Kansas should have let the NCAA know that it is mating season and that visitors would be attacked...The tournament is being held there and that is exactly what is happening...Three people from Rochester, NY did a dine and dash in Chicago...They ate chicken wings and alfredo...They reserved the table with their real name and phone number...Spam is being locked up at some Walmart's...The Full House is the number 1 house that people want to live in off of a TV show...Are the Yankees cheating the system...They changed their bats...Something that changes every day for the good is The Rizzo & Jeff Show...Check out the Monday edition of the show here!

We learn more about what turns Asheville on by the day...For some reason breaded meat parts aka chicken nuggets really do the trick...The Olympics will be in Brisbane, Australia in 2032 and the rowing teams are upset that they will have to row in gator infested waters...AI is getting creepy...At a tech show, Suzanne Somers' widower talked to a robot of hers and asked her questions, and she was able to respond in a clear voice that sounded like her...A woman tried to get on a plane with her dog stuffed in a small carry-on...She couldn't understand why they wouldn't let her fly...Ever heard of "cannamoms?"...These are women who they say are better moms when they smoke cannabis...What happened to Tupperware and Avon? Have we found our next Jared Fogle? That was the freaky Subway guy...There is a new guy claiming that he lost well over 100lbs by just eating Chick-Fil-A...Napster was sold to a company that is in the AI and virtual world for $200 million...Some new revelations have come out in the Gene Hackman death case...His wife was concerned about a man that had been following them...The estate of Richard Simmons is suing his former housekeeper Teresa saying she stole over $1 million in jewelry and other items...American Greetings has hired some bizarre celebrities to sing you birthday greetings...Shaq...Martin Short and Ice T...We will take Martin Short on a platter...A teacher that claimed to be a little over 350lbs was fired after he stepped on children with both feet during a safety drill...A man ran a big marathon while eating 100 chicken nuggets...He is a hero...He finished it...Listen up you patsy...Rizzo got called that by a random man on the street and it is something that he could not get over...A woman named Patsy called...Yoko Ono helped keep The Beatles together...Chubby Checker just might make the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame...Guys are getting beard transplants...We forgot Danny DeVito was a pitch man for Jersey Mike's subs...Sorry to let you down...Let's pick you up...Check out this Wednesday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show!!

You never know what to expect when listening to The Rizzo & Jeff Show...Yesterday was silly story time, today we teach lessons...A man was arrested after he decided to go into a Walmart and started pulling TV's down from shelves and smashing merchandise...Lesson #2...When TV news folks go off script it is brutal...We played a story of a girl who got accepted to many colleges and the news people tried to talk about it...Rough...Fireball wants to give a lifetime supply of whiskey away anyone 90 years old and up...PEW PEW...A man was arrested after he used finger guns to rob a store, and then he was caught in his pink SUV with his daughter in the car...The Bachelor failed to live up to expectations last night...He needs to take a gander at The Golden Bachelor...That guy knows how to lay down the romance...A man is suing United Airlines because the pilot thought he was taking too long in the bathroom...He pulled him out with his pants down...A couple was trying to go viral when the woman stuck her hand in her boyfriend's mouth...It got stuck...We are looking for you, bear man...A man is going viral locally for dressing up as a brown bear and scaring a nuisance black bear on his property...At what age is the cut off for eating chicken nuggets? Are they for adults? That brings us to Listener Court today...Rizzo ran away with this one...It seems Asheville eats like a child...Animals are loose again in Horry County, SC...This time we have some kangaroos on the loose...It is not the wealthy who lost their kangaroo...Just an everyday citizen...What are you doing Hinton? A teacher was arrested after students reported they heard a zipper sound and then their teacher began peeing in a soda can...Why didn't you just go to the restroom Hinton? John Leguizamo hasn't been in any movies because he is balding and having trouble in the bedroom...He went on The View and got into a dirty convo with Joy Behar...Career over...President Trump was not only unhappy with a painting done of him, but he isn't very happy with his security team after they accidentally involved a reporter in confidential conversations...23andMe is filing for bankruptcy...We will never file for bankruptcy and leave you...So, check out the Tuesday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff Show here!!

Oh my goodness...Oh my stars...We will get Carnie, Foreman and Hogan out there...But let's get going with Opening Audio...Heroes in a half shell...Turtle power...A father sang an awful lullaby to his son...Someone needs to tell him his dreams of Broadway are over...Mike Myers is brutal...There was a brutal commercial about Canada not becoming the 51st state...A teacher wanted a pizza party so bad that he followed a student home to make sure they completed their homework...If all students did they would get the pizza...The cops were called...Alec Baldwin could not get over the size of his wife's ex's clarinet... He saw him perform on Broadway and he could not get over it...The man who invented Pirate's Booty attempted to run for mayor of Sea Cliff, NJ...He only got 62 votes yet he claims he is the winner...He actually admitted to having his friends vote more than once...There are no more perfect brackets...And the tournament for the most part has been underwhelming...Joe Gatto of Impractical Jokers has been accused of inappropriate contact with a former staffer...George Foreman passed away at the age of 76...We know him for boxing and for his grille...But we can't get over the fact that Hulk Hogan who claims he lost out on that grille had to make his Hulk Hogan Ultimate Grille...It burned people and was recalled...A Hardee's Double Frisco made a man crash into a laundromat...If you drive big, big with caution...Carnie Wilson's daughter was on American Idol with Wilson Phillips...What a rigged show it has become...A woman has a company where she will take your deceased dog and turn them into rugs or pillow cases...Is Billy Ray Cyrus dead? That is what listener Eddie thought when we played the new song from Billy Ray...What a rough go...Tiger Woods has professed his love for Vanessa Trump and he would like you to stay out of their business...You can now defer payments on DoorDash as they have teamed up with Klarna...Let's talk a little hair...Shall we...A couple attempted to scam a restaurant by pulling their own hair out and putting it in the food...Would you rather be a pirate, a cowboy or a samurai? What we would like you to be is someone that loves The Rizzo & Jeff Show...Check out Monday's show!! 

After the calls in the 5am hour which become love dedications...We go ahead and kick the showoff with shout outs thanks to Rizzo...Opening Audio time...Have you ever been Hollyfield'd? A guy got his ear bitten off during a fight at spring break...A granny dimed out her grandson after she overheard him talking to the girl, he was cheating with...Remember the art of substitute teaching? A woman was arrested for being drunk and tuned up in the third period while on the job...Tag you're in...A entered a retirement community with a chainsaw and started going crazy...The police had to take him out before he took out the granny's and the pappy's...Johnny called and believed it was a hit...A bracket buster happened last night as McNeese State University beat Clemson...Less than 1% of brackets are left...The Boston Celtics sold for a US record $6.1 billion to a tech guru that no one knew...Wicked Weed's Funkatorium is reopening in May...Would you eat an iguana egg? A man in Florida collects and eats iguana eggs...The days of grinding on the dance floor were the good old days...For some reason Asheville loved grinding to Touch Me All Over by...This is about the point where the show started going off of the rails...We got into bigfoot chat...Somehow, we wound up in a conversation about Zoologist Marlon Perkins from the 1970's...As we await the arrival of Good Morning America to come to town on 3/27, we now hear that there is tension on the set between two of its biggest stars...Conor Mcgregor has put his name in the hat to become the next president of Ireland...Netflix is set to come out with a competition series that is centered around Charlie & The Chocolate Factory...A man was attacked at work by a random man who had already hit a school bus and when the cops came he ran from the scene naked...A 100 year old lady was gyrating like a maniac...We have no problem if you want to be a gyrating maniac while listening to this Friday edition of The Rizzo & Jeff show!!