Road Least Travelled - A journey of the Soul

Naming your emotions makes it easier to process them. My sadness is called Tinkerbell. When I’m sad, I say, now now, Tinkerbell, your mascara’s running down your face. Tell you what, let’s get you something waterproof from Amazon ok?

My anger is called Agnes. When she’s angry, I tell her it’s ok, Agnes, go on, be angry… then I watch her punch holes in the wall.

I named my anxiety Alex. When anxious Alex makes my tummy queasy and my hands cold, I tell him, Alex, you’re 6 foot 4, you have a 50 inch chest and your biceps are 22 inches. Why are you whimpering?

When I talk to them whether it’s Pouty Penelope, Tinkerbell, or Frustrated Freddie I ask them why they feel the way they feel. I give them a chance to express themselves in a safe and non-judgmental space.

Naming your emotions can be very helpful. You don’t have to go as far as I have in naming my emotions. You can just call sadness plain old sadness, or anger anger. That’s good enough to sit with them, ask them what’s wrong, why are they feeling that way.

Naming our emotions gives us the proper language to process them. Rather than groping in the dark not being able to identify exactly what it is that we’re feeling. And identifying them is important because we get more clarity, and we get to understand ourselves better.

I also found that apart from making it fun, giving my emotions human names and personalities somehow takes me out of the picture. I’m detached from the negative emotions. I’m able to look at them objectively, like I’m another person. That gives me perspective, and I take it less personally.

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How many do you have?

1. They know that putting up a front kills their spirit slowly.

2. They have a clear sense of self. Through honest introspection they’re proud of their strengths and they own their weaknesses. They’re not ashamed to show their flaws.

3. They don’t have to remember anything they say, because only liars have to.

4. They know when they’re in the wrong and they apologize. They don’t apologise when they’re not in the wrong.

5. They don’t backstab you. Instead, they try to talk to you about whatever is bothering them.

6. Instead of playing office politics in a toxic environment they choose a profession and workplace for their mental and spiritual wellbeing. Because they know that mental and spiritual health which lead to physical health, are priceless.

7. They know when their ego tries to control them. They spend their time wisely and never engage in ego battles.

8. They don’t put anyone on the pedestal. A celebrity to them is still a human being.

9. They’re not impressed by status. They treat the janitor the same way as they treat the CEO.

10. They’re balanced in their moods because they’re able to regulate their emotions by themselves.

11. They’re calm and composed in any given situation.

12. They have clear personal boundaries.

13. They’re honest and direct without beating around the bush, but also without being rude.

14. They’re aware of their triggers. They don’t react but respond calmly with a balanced view, knowing that it’s not the other person’s fault for triggering them.

15. They’re comfortable in their own company and their own thoughts.

The current state the world is in, is entirely because the majority are asleep.

Look at how divided we’ve become. This is a classic case of divide and conquer, by whom, we don’t even know. It’s so much easier now because of social media. We’re being manipulated. We’re zombies made to fight each other.

Conflicts don’t start in present day. They started hundreds if not thousands of years ago.  The real perpetrators are the people who’re making money out of this division. And they’re from both sides of any conflict. To stop conflicts in this world is for us individually to heal ourselves. There’s a ripple effect that cannot be under estimated.

We’re doing the fighting all wrong. We should fight our own internal demons first. The more of us do this, the less conflict there will be. Less greed, less ego, less psychos. When they leave this world, what remains will be well adjusted, authentic, compassionate people.

Will that take too long? Well, the world has been in conflict for thousands of years, always one catastrophe or another. Surely it won’t take thousands of years to heal the world by healing ourselves. All it takes is one generation to wipe out the greedy, the insecure, the dysfunctional, the gossip mongers and the sleeping zombies.

In any conflict there are actually 3 camps. One on one side, one on the other side, and one asking people to be united. But in unity we need one common cause, if not, unity has to mean one side shifting over to the other. Do you think that’s going to happen? Unity in a common cause, means, we wake the eff up and do our own inner healing.

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May Kuen, spiritual coach & certified healer.

Very often the black sheep is the one with integrity and compassion. They’re never the ones that badmouth their abusers. It’s the other way around. They’re also the ones with tremendous capacity to absorb all the blows for themselves as well as for other family members. So if you encounter someone who’s difficult and hard to like, please consider being kind to them. They’re not the office politicians, the corporate smooth talkers, the charmers. They’re the weirdos the ones people call unhinged. They often get secondary abuse from people who don’t know their history. But if you give them a chance, it can shift their path from possible suicide to self actualization. They sink or they fly. All it

What goes through the mind of the black sheep before they awaken is a jumble of contradictory thoughts. This leads to indecisiveness, anxiety, and depression. If you feel this way, I have a few tips to guide you to the path you’re most comfortable with.

1. Know that you were programmed this way. Get to know yourself.

3. You’re not fearful. You were trained to be afraid because of your innate power.

4.Fearful people are vengeful. You could be completely ostracized, stripped off your inheritance, and nobody will care about you. I really don’t want to be negative but this is to help you see the possible

5. Stop explaining. They’re committed to misunderstanding you. It’s not your fault. It’s not that you didn’t communicate clearly. If you keep wondering how to improve the way you communicate it’ll keep you in the hamster wheel. This will drive you crazy.  

6. Keep in mind that once you, the truth seeing scapegoat leaves, the equation changes. 2 things can happen - Everyone will scramble to find a replacement. Or, You could remain the scapegoat even from afar.

7. Your soul tribe will come to you. If you’re a truth see’er, it’s in your nature, you can’t change that. And you can’t change others. When you’re genuine and authentic, your soul tribe will find its way to you. You don’t have to search outside. You just have to find yourself, hold on to who you are, and what’s yours will come to you.

8. Don’t pretend to be OK. If you pretend you’re fine when you’re not, you won’t enter this dark tunnel. At the end of this tunnel, there’s something far better than any content on Instagram and tiktok. Far richer than any travel destination. You have grit. You can do it!

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Scapegoats are isolated because they’re truth see’ers. That makes them a threat. They see too much. In a dysfunctional family nobody wants to see what’s happening. Instead they toe the line, keep quiet, and remain in fear and survival mode. Not the scapegoat. The scapegoat is persistent in seeking the truth.

At first, the scapegoat was isolated by family, then they carry those vibes with them, and wherever they go they feel like they don’t fit in. And then, as though things couldn’t get any worse, even the universe seems to be creating circumstances to further isolate them. There is a very good reason for this.

The scapegoat has the best chance at spiritual growth and self love - sustainable self love that’s not dependent on external circumstances – whether it’s material wealth, status or approval. Self love is not dependent on things going your way to make you happy. The high that scapegoats get is internal, that’s the source of your happiness and peace. And of course, that has everything to do with our partnership with the universe, or source energy. This is a direct consequence of being isolated from people.

Once the scapegoat embraces the isolation, they’ll achieve this integration with the universe. They become whole, their soul vibration rises, and they’ll meet people of the same soul vibration. Their external circumstances will change. It’s not that other people change for them. It’s that they’ll attract people who have done the inner work on themselves.

This is where the scapegoat's isolation ends.

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8 reasons why you should stop wasting your time, effort and emotional energy on wondering about this.

These are my personal observations, plus 7 years’ worth of research on grandiose and vulnerable narcissism. The objective of these 8 reasons is to help speed up your process of accepting narcissistic abuse and to move forward.

1. Narcissists are damaged people. They’re not capable of love. Try to forgive them.

2. Narcs cannot or will not change. Don’t waste your time hoping.

3. Society has put parents on the pedestal, especially mothers. This is a huge burden on mothers to be perfect. So it’s tempting for those who don’t love their children, to put on a show for others to see. My opinion on this, is that love is something you’re capable of, or you’re not.  It cannot be forced. There’s nothing wrong with a mother not loving her children. It’s a myth created by society, perpetuated by a capitalist world. That said, they should still try their best to refrain from abusing their children. I say SHOULD. In reality it rarely happens. So stop hoping and resenting, that’s your best move forward.

4. If anyone consistently makes you feel terrible about yourself, then something is wrong. It could be you, it could be them, I don't know, but talk to them. If they refuse to listen to your feelings, if they invalidate your reality, if they always have an answer to prove you wrong even before you finish your sentence, then stop wondering. It doesn’t matter whether they’re a narcissist, sociopath, psychopath, borderline, or whatever term is used. It doesn’t matter. What matters is they are emotionally abusive and make you feel crazy. That’s not love.

5. Put up personal boundaries. They’ll become outraged because they’re used to stepping all over you, and suddenly you’re disagreeing with them. This can make them lash out in a very cruel way. And if this is the first time you’re putting up personal boundaries, you’ll be shocked at their reaction. But at least you’ll discover that all the years of so-called harmony was because you gave in all the time. This is proof that love is a one-way street in this dynamic.

6. Narcissists are deeply insecure. See them not as parents but as people who are painfully insecure. Insecure people are so impoverished that they’re not capable of unconditional love. The love they mimic is usually to get something in return. And if they don’t get what they want, they go into a rage. For the grandiose narc, it’s a full on physical rage. For the vulnerable narc, it’s a more cutting and cruel silent rage that manifests in many different ways.

7. Stop asking for friends’ opinions. Most will deny your reality. They’ll say, "of course they love you, they just show it differently." This is because they don’t understand narcissistic abuse, or they’re in a similar situation which they refuse to wake up from. So they don’t want you to rock the boat. Abuse from the vulnerable narcissist is unlike other forms of abuse. Even clinicians sometimes don’t understand, and many further damage their clients with secondary abuse. By invalidating their experiences, and further make them feel crazy and petty. The vulnerable narcissist knows this. This is their modus operandi.

8. Narcissists are very charming and deceptive. This means they have an entourage of supporters, or at least a small group of people who will always fuss around them and help them. This is a good enough reason to stop focusing on them and instead look after yourself.

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When the scapegoat walks away, a tremendous shift happens. Here are 8 important stages to help you navigate this tough journey.

1.The revelation 2.Denial 3.Confirmation 4.Anger & self blame 5.Walking away 6.Clarity and self-love 7.Forgiveness 8.The silver lining and victory.

It's important to remind ourselves that we were targeted for our strengths! Our compassion, kindness, intelligence, creativity, our uniqueness, and our strength of character. We were not chosen as scapegoats because we're bad. It's because we're good!

If you've been gaslighted and brainwashed, you won't see your good qualities and what a special person you are. But today, I want you to see your beauty - the beauty and strength that they saw all along and envied you for it. By the end of this episode I want you to be empowered!

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"Today you are you

That is truer than true

There’s no one alive

Who is youer than you." - Dr Seuss

Sometimes when I compare myself to others I feel slightly discouraged. And if I don’t put a stop to it immediately it spirals and I feel like a total failure. I tell myself I’m not Joe Rogan and will never be. And Joe Rogan is not me. There are certain things I can do that he can’t.  That shifts my focus out of who I’m not, and towards who I am. It’s very important that we keep reminding ourselves of this.

Even Mr Zuckerberg can’t do certain things that you can. It’s not comparing yourself to someone else. There’s a very subtle difference here. You focus on you can do better without judgment. Then it’s not a comparison. It’s acknowledging a fact.

To simplify all this, just be who you are. Get out of the way of who you are, and you’ll do fine. Because there’s nobody on earth, not one of 8 billion people on this planet, does you better than you!

Being who you are is your only real currency. The only thing that gives you true joy. When we heal ourselves, we become who we really are. As cliched and tired as it sounds, when we're being our authentic selves, we collectively heal the world. So don’t look outside yourself. Look within. Our internal world is so much richer, its landscape far more vast than anything else outside of us. The journey within to find ourselves is the journey of a lifetime.

Today, you’re going to be YOU…

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We are all master manifestors. No question about it. The question is knowing the difference between what our ego wants, and what our soul wants, which brings us real and sustained peace, joy and fulfillment. How do we train our minds to fulfill our soul's desires? Having self awareness and knowing who we are. That will automatically enable us to manifest what our soul wants. It’s really as simple as that.

Let me give you an example of how I unknowingly manifested something that was meaningful and truly beneficial.

When I was a junior writer, earning a pittance, I used to do a detour on my drive to and from work. That detour took me on a little hill where there is low rise apartment. Late at night driving home, I’d slow down and admire the apartment that looked like a resort. I’d stare at it and immerse myself in it. The feeling was so nice and so peaceful. It felt as though I really lived there. And because it felt so nice, I’d drive past every morning and every night, Monday to Friday, for months stalking this apartment. But not once did I think about buying an apartment there, because I was earning a pittance. It was impossible. So I didn’t even entertain the thought of owning an apartment there. Still, I continued driving past, slowing down at the stretch just to admire it and to feel that (sigh)… so nice….

Now, put that aside… in the real world, I soon got a job offer that gave me 4 times what I was earning. Literally 4 times. There were other writers just as good as me, if not better. Why did the person who hired me offer me so much money? I don't know… till this day I don't know.

I took the job. It wasn’t harder than my previous job, the work environment wasn’t worse than my previous job. For that kind of salary, it didn’t feel that I had to work 4 times harder.

Less than 2 years later, I bought my dream apartment, facing a gorgeous view of trees, squirrels and birds came to my balcony every morning for their breakfast.

How did I manifest this when I didn’t even put any effort into it? I didn’t go through one day of anxiety, wondering if I’d get it, how would I get it, when would I get it. That’s our minds creating drama. And it’s this drama that blocks us from manifesting.

I realized that I manifested it by not being concerned. It boils down to one thing – it was a feeling. Every time I drove past the property, with its beautiful mature trees, lovely lighting, and quiet serenity, I had this sigh… so nice… It was just a feeling. That feeling, is knowing yourself. It’s self awareness. It was pure joy. It wasn’t ego based, like, I didn’t think that if I lived there, and by the way, it’s a very good location. People call it a posh location but not once did I think of it that way. Really, I just loved it. I didn’t once think oh people will see me as I’ve arrived, or that I’m successful. I didn’t care about that. The feeling I got every time I gazed at my future home, was simply sigh… so nice. That was it. It’s the purity of that feeling, untainted by ego. Don’t get me wrong I made a lot of ego based decisions. But this one taught me the difference.

We are constantly manifesting. What you want is to manifest your soul’s desires. Not your ego’s desires. Everything we want, every thought we have

When we’re being authentic, when we know who we are and we don’t give a toss about what others think of us, we align with our soul's desires. And it comes to us effortlessly.

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Does it exist? Well, it depends on how you interpret "love". For some it all it takes is one second to know. For others it grows over time. Both are valid. Love that takes time is a decision two people make. Love that takes seconds is a connection of two souls. It's instant. How do you know it's "real"? Here's a story of how I just knew...

After a life and death situation that brought Aggie and I to the emergency room at the animal hospital, a friend gifted me session with an animal communicator.

I told the AC about the time I first saw Aggie when she was a stray roaming the streets, and how in awe of her beauty I was. The AC said that it was her soul that I saw. That she has a very pure, kind and wise soul. She really is the kindest dog I’ve ever come across. Forgiving, with no resentment or

The AC also said, which is true, that I had been searching my whole life for purity and wisdom. And I found it in Aggie. That was why that moment I saw Aggie, I transcended into another realm.

And then I allowed the problems and concerns of society, my previous conditioning, and all the material world realities to overshadow that awakening.

The AC said that Aggie is very connected to nature and thrives in it. She also wanted to give me some advice.

Messages come to us in so many ways if we’re open to it. Her messages to me through the AC made me understand her more, made me look beneath the surface so much more, and made me understand myself more. That what I had been searching for was right in front of me. Aggie is pure love, pure kindness.

From her I learnt to chill, to take life a step at a time, to be less uptight, to trust more, to let go of the past, and of resentment. I learnt that living in joy is worth all the risks it carries. I learnt what love at first sight feels like.

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