ROCK MORNINGS

ROCK MORNINGS

By Brian SimpsonComedyGovernment
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ROCK MORNINGS episodes

  • The chores we had as kids. Did you know...?

    What a weekend!!!

    Had a very successful 9-Pin Tap Tourney on Saturday to raise money for the Rock Foundation, and then I sat around and did absolutely nothing yesterday, with the exception of watching football.

    In the news this morning, the latest on what's happening in Minneapolis/St. Paul, a deadly train derailment in Spain, an update on Kiefer Sutherland's arrest from last week, the Poison 40th Anniversary tour gets nixed, and a recall on chocolate gets expanded.

    Speaking of football, we recapped all this weekend's NFL Divisional round games and looked ahead to next Sunday's AFC & NFC Championship games. The Bucks play at noon today as part of the NBA's MLK Day schedule, the Badgers got a nice win against Rutgers over the weekend, and the college football National Championship is tonight.

    We talked about what's on TV today/tonight and discussed the unusual injury Emilia Clarke suffered while filming her new show.

    Great story about a kid in the UK who helped save his mother's life after she passed out while driving.

    A man is going viral for listing all the chores he had to do when he was a kid, so we tried to think back to our childhoods and remember all the stuff we were responsible for.

    Elsewhere in sports, John Harbaugh officially gets hired by the NY Giants, Matt LaFleur & the Packers have reached an agreement to extend his contract, Kevin Durant passes Dirk Nowitski on the NBA's all-time scoring list, and Air Force suspended their basketball coach.

    Did you know………the zoo animal responsible for the most injuries to zookeepers? Did you know……..how many jobs were created by a specific taco? Did you know……….how many Americans are using A.I.?

    And in today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a car thief who found something criminal in a vehicle he stole, a #FloridaMan who got busted for repeatedly throwing roofing nails on the road, a company is in hot water for basically selling cake batter disguised as protein powder, a delivery robot that got destroyed when it got stuck on some train tracks, a kid who got arrested for trying to stay in a Walmart for 24 hours, and a dude who got busted for doing donuts in a church parking lot on a first date.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 22 min
  • Hotels on the moon. Don't fish too close to me.

    And just like that, it's Friday! We've got snow in the forecast today and then brutally cold temps this weekend.

    In the news this morning, the Milwaukee father accused of locking six kids in a storage locker has been found guilty, President Trump is threatening to use the Insurrection Act to help handle the situation in Minneapolis, a recall on bottled water that was distributed to several states in the Midwest including Wisconsin, and Matthew McConaughey has trademarked the phrase "alright, alright, alright" to keep it from falling into the evil hands of A.I.

    Speaking of artificial intelligence, we had a couple of additional stories about the technology this morning. Including a professor from Canada who got all his news from A.I. bots for a full month. And his data says that the news it fed him was fully accurate just 47% of the time…partially accurate 45% of the time…and the other 8% was bullshit. Plus, 41% of travelers claim they'll trust A.I. recommendations over their friends and social media. Which feels sad.

    In sports, the Bucks lost again last night to the Spurs, the Badger men's basketball team takes on Rutgers tomorrow, the NFL divisional round kicks off tomorrow afternoon & concludes on Sunday, and another betting scandal in the world of college basketball.

    Today is "National Boston Day". It's also "Appreciate a Dragon Day", and "International Fetish Day". So celebrate accordingly!

    We let you know what's on TV this weekend and what's new in theaters. Additionally, the new "Baywatch" show is holding an open casting call if you think you've got what it takes!

    Cool story about a retiring news anchor from Philly who is now a Guinness World Record holder, and a Canadian lottery winner decided to help others during the holidays after collecting a massive jackpot!

    Elsewhere in sports, Clayton Kershaw is going to pitch for Team USA in the upcoming World Baseball Classic, and the latest on that Olympic hockey rink.

    The astronauts successfully returned to Earth from the space station after one of them had a medical emergency. And a start-up company is trying to rent hotel rooms on the moon. Good luck with that.

    Doc recorded a Racing Report extra for us thanks to County Materials in Holmen.

    And in today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a guy who was trying to take a nap when a car crashed into his home & landed on top of him, a bunch of driverless delivery trucks in China are basically ramming into everything like a scene from "Grand Theft Auto", a dude who impersonated a cop so he could get free donuts, & a guy in Canada who assaulted another dude because he was ice fishing too close to his spot.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 33 min
  • Diarrhea vs. Constipation. "Nearly perfect" comedy films. Super Bowl snacks.

    Busy Thursday as we get ready for the colder temps to move in along with the snow! Should start sometime this afternoon & continue through tomorrow.

    In the news this morning, actor Timothy Busfield recently turned himself in to authorities after allegations of child sexual abuse and now he's facing new charges involving a 16 year-old girl, an ICE agent was attacked in Minneapolis yesterday & shot a man in the leg, Verizon has resolved it's outage from yesterday and has promised to provide account credits to it's customers, a man who heckled President Trump at a Ford factory has been suspended from his job…but a GoFundMe for him has already raised almost a million dollars, and a recall on Super Greens dietary supplements.

    In sports, the Bucks take on the Spurs tonight, the Badger men's basketball team face Rutgers on Saturday, a look at the NFL Divisional Round schedule, the College Football National Championship game is on Monday night between Miami & Indiana, Adam Theilen officially announced his retirement yesterday, and it looks like John Harbaugh is going to be the next head coach for the Giants.

    We let you know what's on TV today/tonight and we also discussed a list of "nearly perfect" comedy films and added a few more of our own.

    Cool story about an influencer who goes to farmer's markets to highlight local vendors and completely changed the life of a mom-&-pop beef jerky brand from Texas! And speaking of snacks, we looked at Instacart's list of the Top 10 Super Bowl snacks. If you're looking for something Super Bowl-esque, Cup Noodles is releasing three chicken wing-inspired flavors just in time for the big game.

    It's Hypothetical Thursday and Brian went first with his question, "Would you rather have constant diarrhea or constant constipation?"

    Jean asked, "Which Boston sports team would you pick to win a championship?"

    Elsewhere in sports, the UFC Bantamweight Championship fight between Kayla Harrison & Amanda Nunes at next weekend's UFC 324 has been postponed, a bunch of money & guns were stolen from Greg Biffle's home just weeks after his tragic death in a plane crash, and a high school football team is cancelling it's next season after it went winless….and scoreless for an entire season this year!

    Office Cora joined us just after 8am to talk about what she's up to this weekend in the 715.

    And in today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a woman who found an interesting charge on her Chick-Fil-A receipt, a stranger who knocked on someone's door at midnight and asked them to make a pizza, a mom in the UK who made her kids pay for their own McDonald's, and a #FloridaWoman who tried to avoid being arrested by shitting on the cops.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 39 min
  • Best jobs in America. Brian did his fifty jumps. Tasty items on the Kwik Trip hot spot.

    Welcome to Wednesday! Drastic change in temperature, and snow on the way tomorrow & into Friday.

    Yippee!

    In the news this morning, actor Timothy Busfield turned himself in to the authorities and denies the claims that he sexually assaulted twin boys, Kiefer Sutherland got arrested for allegedly assaulting a ride-share driver, the creator of Dilbert passed away after battling prostate cancer, and a Wisconsin man got arrested for driving WELL OVER the legal limit.

    In sports, the Bucks got beat by the Timberwolves last night, while the Badgers men's basketball team beat Minnesota on a buzzer-beating three pointer! We looked at this weekend's NFL Divisional Round schedule. Plus, the latest on the NFL coaching hires & fires!

    We let you know what's on TV today/tonight, and Brian actually did his fifty jumps this morning before the show…and now he's looking to add something else to his "routine"

    Elsewhere in sports, Jordan Addison of the Vikings got arrested recently, the new head coach at Notre Dame is already in the news for the wrong reason, and NASCAR revealed it's new "playoff" changes.

    Check out the size of this dog!! It's now a world record holder! And a #FloridaMan is being called a hero after he saved two toddlers that had wandered away from their home and ended up on a busy highway.

    We talked about a list of the best jobs in America in 2026, and we got to the latest on that "mite fight" at the Hershey Bears game over the weekend. Apparently, there's now MULTIPLE investigations going on.

    And in today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a couple of idiots in California who were using fake $100 bills to buy cheap fast food meals, a bear in Tennessee that's broken into the same candy store FOUR times, three female tourists from Taiwan who made the news in Europe after they followed their GPS and ended up stuck on a ski slope, and a teacher who got arrested for throwing a shoe at a student.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 26 min
  • Grant Bilse. Jumping for health. What do you wish your phone could do? Sweet potato up the ass.

    One more really nice day to get all that outdoor shit taken care of before the colder temps return…along with some snow!

    In the news this mornings, Minnesota & Illinois are suing the feds, Barbie launches an autistic version, US Marshals are now trying to locate Timothy Busfield, there's some monkeys on the loose in St. Louis, and the FDA has upgraded a recall on cheese products.

    In sports, the Steelers got waxed by the Texans last night to wrap up Wild Card weekend, a look at this coming weekend's Divisional round, the Bucks take on the T-Wolves tonight, and the Badgers are playing Minnesota tonight.

    We talked about what's on TV today/tonight and what's new on New Release Tuesday. And Brian recapped the movie "Together".

    Elsewhere in sports, Brooks Koepka is officially back in the PGA, a wild video of a US Bobsled driver who escaped serious injury recently, and a young Eagles fan goes off after their loss to the 49ers this weekend.

    Great story about a man in Baltimore who helped save some kids from a fire, and check out this former inmate who's helping other ex-criminals rehab after getting out of prison.

    We were once again joined by Grant Bilse from the Wisco Sports show just after 8am.

    Brian's going to try a TikTok "health hack" that's basically just jumping a bunch of times first thing in the morning.

    And what's something you wish your phone could do?

    In today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a woman who got arrested for stealing her coworker's Stanley cup, a Waymo driverless car that stopped on some train tracks, a very popular app that checks up on people who live alone, and a guy who got a massive potato stuck up his ass.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 32 min
  • Elias Soriano interview. Viral video of a hockey fight. Leech in your bladder.

    Back to work!

    In the news this morning, the new Wisconsin license plates are now available, RIP to Bob Weir, Daniel Stern got busted for soliciting a prostitute, and Timothy Busfield is facing child sex-abuse charges.

    In sports, a recap of the NFL Wild Card games, the College Football National Championship match-up is set, a look at the Bucks weekend, and the Badgers shocked #2 Michigan this past Saturday.

    We let you know what's on TV today/tonight and we also discussed last night's Golden Globes award ceremony.

    Elsewhere in sports, the latest on the NFL coaching vacancies, Books Koepka is trying to rejoin the PGA, and Kevin Durant passes Wilt Chamberlain on the NBA's all-time scoring leaderboard.

    Cool story about a guy in Indiana who got a free truck after his community pitched in to help purchase it for him, and a woman battling cancer got a free wedding while in the hospital thanks to the staff at the facility.

    We talked to Elias from the might Nonpoint about the upcoming Riverfront Revolt.

    And in today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a guy who allegedly fired a gun inside of a middle school and then had a very interesting interaction with the judge assigned to his case, a dude in China who stuck a leech up his pee hole & into his bladder, a drug dealer who had a bunch of his drugs stuffed into his underwear, and a guy in Nevada who tried to run over the cops with his bulldozer.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 19 min
  • Quitter's Day! Doc on the show. Injecting acid into your wiener.

    The weekend is here and the temps are going to drop as this rain shifts to snow sometime tomorrow.

    But I don't mind…I'll be inside watching football all weekend!!!!

    Today is "Quitter's Day", the day you're most likely to drop your New Year's resolution.

    Already??

    We talked about what some people are doing to help battle against that, and also discussed a woman's viral video of her cat deleting all her resolutions.

    In sports, Miami beat Ole Miss last night to advance to the College Football National Championship game, a look at this weekend's Wild Card schedule, the latest on Jordan Love's status for the Packers/Bears game along with some all-time stats from the rivalry. Plus, the Bucks play tonight in LA and the Badgers are in Michigan tomorrow.

    We let you know what's on the boob-tube this weekend and what's new in theaters. Plus, a Fortnite/South Park collab is dropping today.

    Elsewhere in sports, the Dolphins have fired their head coach, Giannis talks about asking for a trade, and the NHL announces next season's Winter Classic game.

    Cool story about some missing letters that are finally getting delivered after disappearing for 70+ years, and for the first time ever…the Puppy Bowl is going to feature senior dogs looking to get adopted!

    A grocery receipt from 1997 is going viral, and Brian talked about his "poverty meal" from earlier this week.

    Doc joined us to talk racing thanks to County Materials in Holmen.

    And more & more people are trying to put their phone down and switch to something analog to keep them entertained & occupied. Here's a list of some of the top analog activities people are pursuing instead of doom-scrolling.

    And in today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a woman who supposedly snorts all her food, a horse that shit all over a Target store, a woman who woke up inside a body bag at a funeral home, a couple that have a very unique OnlyFans account, and apparently ski jumpers are injecting their junk with all sorts of stuff to help them gain an advantage on the competition.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 30 min
  • Office Cora returns! Hypothetical Thursday. A mermaid in Louisiana?

    A high of 40° today with some rain possible tonight. Gotta get my truck in the car wash today, even if it's just a basic rinse.

    Lots of stuff in the news this morning with the latest on yesterday's deadly ICE-involved shooting in Minneapolis, the new dietary guidelines from the Trump administration, a ding-dong-ditch gone horribly wrong, a Waukesha teen is expected to plead guilty in the murders of his mother & stepfather, and the now infamous "Quality Learing Center" has closed.

    In sports, the Bucks lost to the Warriors last night, the College Football Playoff semifinals begin tonight on ESPN, a look at this weekend's Wild Card schedule, and NFL viewership was higher than ever this year.

    We talked about what's on TV & streaming today and a possible explanation for the disappearance of Max's mom in "Stranger Things" during the final season.

    Not only is it "National Bubble Bath Day", but it's also "World Typing Day", so we looked at some interesting facts about typewriters.

    It's also Hypothetical Thursday, and Brian's question for Jean was: "Would you rather have a personal maid or a personal chef?", while Jean's question for Brian was: "What three words would describe your 2025?"

    Elsewhere in sports, the PGA of America CEO is resigning, some disturbing allegations made by the ex-girlfriend of Rashee Rice, the Oakland A's are having some more difficulty in their move to Las Vegas, and the Anaheim Ducks are getting sued by a former employee.

    If you're like Brian & Jean, you cannot carry a tune, but there's something out there for people who weren't blessed with a beautiful singing voice. It's called "Tuneless Choirs" and we might just need one around here.

    Office Cora joined us just after 8am to talk about her holiday vacation and to let us know what she's up to this weekend in the 715.

    And in today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a fortune teller who stole a client's phone, a teenager who fell out of the back of a moving ambulance, a missing walrus penis, a woman who thinks she's a mermaid, and some #FloridaWomen who were hanging out of a moving vehicle during a funeral procession found out the hard way why that's a bad idea.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 33 min
  • Weird gadgets at the CES in Vegas. Hilariously incorrect predictions from the 1950s.

    Hump Day is here and Workforce Wednesday is back!

    So head to the website or the app to tell us where you're working for a chance to win freebies from GameDay Men's Health.

    Today is "National Bobblehead Day" and it's also "National Pass Gas Day"…which seems fitting since yesterday was "National Bean Day".

    In the news this morning, the Hilton hotel brand is removing a location in Minneapolis that refused to accept bookings from ICE agents, some chilling news regarding the MIT & Brown University shooter, and it's officially Girl Scout Cookie season!

    In sports, the Badgers got a nice win over UCLA last night, the Bucks take on the Golden State Warriors tonight, a look at the Wild Card round schedule, and the latest on the NFL coaches who've gotten fired over the last several days.

    Elsewhere in sports, the schedule for the College Football Playoffs & National Championship game, the NASCAR commissioner resigns, and Matt Kalil is suing his ex-wife for revealing the size of his manhood.

    We talked about what's on TV & streaming today/tonight. And we also talked about the worst pain we've ever felt.

    A deer that was trapped in a basement in Wisconsin was rescued by some wildlife officials, a lost engagement ring gets found, and a boy finally gets adopted after over 900 days in the foster care system.

    We took a look at some of the weirdest & most interesting gadgets that debuted at this year's CES in Vegas, and also talked about some hilariously incorrect predictions from the 1950's.

    Speaking of tech stuff…someone recently asked ChatGPT what it would do if it were human for a day.

    Kudos to these Pittsburgh fans who are turning a negative into a positive by donating to a charity affiliated with the Ravens kicker who missed the potential game-winning field goal on Sunday night.

    And in today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a guy who stole his ex-girlfriend's car WHILE she was in labor delivering his baby, a guy in China who survived after falling from the 15th floor of a building, a woman in Hong Kong who attacked a bunch of people & cops with a meat cleaver, a #FloridaMan who got arrested for trespassing while wearing some rather interesting things, and a guy in Italy who is suing a restaurant after one of their promotional videos on TikTok exposed him cheating on his wife.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 35 min
  • Grant Bilse. A swift kick in the nuts. Our final week of Pigskin picks.

    Look at that! It's January 6th!

    Today also happens to be "National Take Down Your Xmas Tree Day", and we discussed why it always falls on 1/6.

    In the news this morning, the latest on the US taking control of Greenland, the Wegovy pill is now available, a Wisconsin supper club closes after a fire, and Charlie Hunnam's wife wasn't too happy with his Ed Gein voice at home.

    In sports, a bunch of coaches got fired on Black Monday, the Badger men's basketball plays tonight, the Bucks play tomorrow night, the NBA is going to play more preseason games in China next year, and the Brewers made some coaching moves recently.

    We let you know what's on TV today/tonight and what's new on New Release Tuesday. Also, a list of TV shows that are turning 50 in 2026.

    Grant Bilse from the Wisco Sports Show joined us just after 8am to talk about the upcoming NFL playoffs and his visit with Brian on Sunday.

    Some inspirational stories this morning about a woman who crashed into a bayou in Houston but got saved by a guy in a boat, an animal rescuer who donated thousands of boxes of pet supplies, and another successful year for the Hershey Bears teddy-bear toss.

    As the final week of the NFL regular season wrapped up on Sunday, it was time to check in on our Week 18 Pigskin Picks and sort out when Jean will be making that seafood paella for Brian.

    And in today's edition of "Bad News with Happy Music", we had stories about a woman who ran over her boyfriend in a Taco Bell parking lot, a #FloridaMan who tried to run over a kid on a scooter because he thought the kid was a porch pirate, a #FloridaTeen who got popped for doing 154mph, and a dude in Scotland who took a full-on kick to the balls!

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    1 hr 33 min

About ROCK MORNINGS

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Also heard live from 6-9am on 95.7 THE ROCK in La Crosse, WI WRQT and 92.9 THE X in Eau Claire, WI WECL Brian Simpson - Jean Taylor - Scott Robert Shaw