Rock-n-Roll Autopsy

With scalpel in hand, our fearless host attempts to trim away the bloat and mediocrity from Gun N’ Roses and Metallica’s infamously overstuffed double albums, “Use Your Illusion” and “Load/Reload” and combine what’s left into one cohesive kick-ass album of mid-nineties hard rock n’ roll.

The boys engage in wildly reckless KISS speculation, stalk Playboy bunnies at the supermarket, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Blondie’s 1978 new wave knockout, “One Way or Another”

The boys snort a mountain of blow, rerecord a classic podcast just to spite one another, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Eric Clapton’s 1977 reluctant anti-drug blues rocker, “Cocaine”

Without the guardrails of science to fall back on, the boys deviate from their typicality prudent decision making in favor of deliberately provocative, sensational, and often ridiculous hot takes about a few of their favorite rock ‘n roll bands.

The boys audition several iPads for their upstart rock ‘n roll band, lament the absence of free chicks in their chosen vocation, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Dire Straits’ 1985 MTV smash hit, “Money for Nothing.”

The boys wear spandex to a retirement party, impress Michael Jackson with lame fat jokes, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of “Weird Al” Yankovic’s 1988 portly pop parody, “Fat.”

The boys enjoy dial-up internet with Richie Sambora, use racist cosplay and bad dinner theater to fight the inevitable irrelevance of age, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Styx’s 1983 synth-pop sensation, “Mr. Roboto.”

The boys battle middle-age mid-sections, commit political suicide on antenna TV, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Filter’s mid 90’s mid-west industrial metal hit, “Hey Man Nice Shot.”

The boys attempt to mediate a Pink Floyd peace treaty, hire a team of outside writers to stay relevant, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Ozzy’s Grammy winning title track, “Patient Number 9.”