The boys demand respect from two-faced friends, make manly music mainstream, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Pantera’s 1992 groove metal classic, “Walk.”

The boys lace up their Adidas, get down on a muffin, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Aerosmith & Run-DMC’s 1986 genre bending collaboration, “Walk This Way.”

The boys break out of a slump by busting a move, do some research at Studio 54, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of The Rolling Stones’ 1978 number one hit, “Miss You.”

The boys break out the Simmons drums, get abducted by aliens, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Van Halen’s 1986 synth-pop hit, “Love Walks In.”

The boys drive a stake in the heart of hair metal, become reluctant icons of Generation X, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Nirvana’s revolutionary 1991 juggernaut, “Smells Like Teen Spirit.”

The boys ditch the kabuki makeup and spandex for Dr. Martens and flannel, trade their libido for self-loathing, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of KISS’ grungy 1997 single, “Jungle.”

The boys attend a Super Bowl halftime show in the rain, watch reruns of Hee Haw, and give props to a few of their favorite under-appreciated guitar heroes.

The boys finally put their years of medical school debt to use, deliver an overwrought eulogy, and use the scientific method to conduct an autopsy on the corpse of Kip Winger’s controversial hit, “Seventeen.”

The boys elevate from the norm, abandon fear, and hunt for crossed signals in the flickering light of Rush’s 1981 masterpiece, Moving Pictures.

The boys sing silly love songs, imagine the Beatles in the 70s, and wonder if it’s better to burn out or fade away.