Rock Solid Families

It's great to dream!  Dreaming about your future, your family, your adventures to come!  These are the things that can give us motivation and hope for better days. But, it might be worth asking yourself this question.  Are you living your dream or God's dream?  

In this show, Linda and Merrill take a break from the regular studio and head south to Florida with their family for a little vacation.  While on vacation it is common to dream of things to come.  But, as discussed during the show, do you include and listen to God while you are forming your dreams?

Whether you are starting something new or deciding to stay the course in your life, God wants you to include him.  He will direct your paths and give you the desires of your heart. He has a plan for your life.  But it is up to you to open the door to Him! 

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We've all been injured at some point in our lives.  Broken bones, stitches, or just a heavy bruise.  Injuries are a sign that we are out there living our life in the elements.  No one particularly seeks to get injured, but when we are injured we want to recover as quickly as possible.  

So is the case with emotional,  relational, and spiritual wounds. Physical wounds are often the easiest to heal from.  We can seem them and therefore have a benchmark to work from towards healing and recovery. But, the other kinds of wounds can be much more difficult to identify and then measure in terms of our healing.  

None the less, healing these non-physical wounds is every bit as important as any other kinds of wounds.  Wounds leave us ineffective, distracted, and often just plain hurting to the point that we can not focus on anything else.  

During this show, Merrill and Linda discuss the wounds we suffer in life and how we can work through them.  This is a powerful and insightful show as they draw on the many clients they have helped along with their own personal injuries to give the listeners a better understanding for the need for proper healing.  

If you have been injured, please do not believe that you have to be stuck in your brokeness. There is help available. If Rock Solid Families can help you, please call, 812-576-7625 or go to rocksolidfamiliels.org.

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Storms seem to be everywhere these days.  Whether it's the latest snowstorm, flooding, tornados, or storms such as earthquakes, fires, temperature extremes, whatever it is, we seem to be having our fair share.  But this show is not just about the natural storms and disasters we face, it is about all the storms we face whether natural or manmade. 

Storms are the events that happen in our lives that we didn't necessarily plan on and to some degree or another, they knock us off from our desired coarse of life. Events such as divorce, job loss, illness, bankruptcy, and tragedies of every sort.  Whether we like it or not, storms are just a part of life. 

During this show Linda and Merrill attempt to take on the idea of storms and how we can begin to think differently and even come to appreciate storms in the sense of seeing them as an opportunity to grown in our faith and press through our limitations. 

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When was the last time you had a good belly laugh?  Often times when someone has experienced such a laugh,  you will hear them say, "that felt really good!"  

We have known for years that laughter is a great medicine, but why don't we use it more than we do?  Being more intentional about adding laughter and a variety of other ideas, can help you change your darker days and add more light to your darkness.  Exercise, laughter, rest, praying, and meditating, are just a few ways to help.  

Check out more as Linda and Merrill discuss how you can be the driver of your moods and no longer find yourself getting stuck.  

Here are our 7 keys to helping you to take control of your darker moments and intentionally bring more light to them. 

1. Acknowledge your current mental and physical condition
Sometimes life makes you acknowledge your situation as you feel like you ran straight into a brick wall, but wouldn’t it be nice to not have to hit the wall? 
Honesty is the only way to properly access your situation.  Get rid of biases. 

2. Own it - What are you doing to put yourself into this condition
Looking at the good and the bad and stating what you did to put yourself in this situation.  Yes, there may be others involved, but you are the gatekeeper of your life.  Who or what did you let in?  No Blames No Victims

3. What are you willing to change today?
Today is the key!  Not tomorrow or next week, but today.  In most cases, starting smaller is best.  “Starting today I will not tune in to social media”.  “I will go out for a walk.  “I will seek laughter in my situation”

4. Replace is better than Remove.
Often times we tell people to quit doing something, but when we have developed a habit, it is the habit that makes us feel complete.  It is just what we do.  Removing it only makes us feel empty.  So once you identify what you want to remove, think of what you will replace it with.  “Instead of smoking I will chew gum.”  “Instead of playing video games, I will go out and shoot hoops.”

5. Monitor Progress 
Tracking progress is critical to keeping your mind focused on changing the habit.  Whether it’s hoping on the scale, rating your mood, or counting your behaviors, tracking can act as a positive reward system or a hard check on a fail.  Either way, it is good to get the feedback. 

6. Make adaptations - 

7. Making adjustments in order to continue to improve is common sense.  If what you are doing isn’t working, back up, make the adjustments and come back at again.  

Make a decision NOT to tie your joy and happiness to your circumstances. It’s an internal decision to find laughter and joy in even the hardest times. 

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Over half of all families in the US will deal directly with divorce. But once the divorce is settled, people want to move on with their lives.  This means forming new relationships, marriages, and families.  However, now the work is how do we blend the pre-existing families? 

This is a real concern as we see a higher rate of divorce in second marriages than first marriages.  Telling us that round two is not necessarily going to be easy.  One of the most challenging parts of the blended family is just that, blending well! 

During this show Merrill and Linda walk through 7 essential keys that help your new blended family succeed. 

1. Slow and Steady
2. Listening
3. Empathy
4. Respect
5. Fair, Firm and Consistent
6. FLEXIBILITY and  Grace
7. God's Word

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Kelli Calabrese shares her story of believing she had it all. Married for 24 years, incredible career, two amazing children, the house, cars, and clothes to make her the envy of her peers.  Then one day her husband comes home and tells her he was finished with the marriage.  Immediately dropped to her knees with shock, anxiety, confusion, sadness, and desperation.  What happened? What's next?  How do I handle this?

With her faith in God and her desire to grow, she shares her story of healing and growing like never before.  Kelli has taken her hurt and turned it into a help for so many other women.  Since her dark days of watching her family crumble before her eyes, she has used it as fuel to not just heal herself, but to help others heal through her coaching at Intentionally Fabulous.  

Listen in as Kelli shares her story and reminds all of us that there is always hope in the future when we embrace what God wants for us.  Check out her website for more information and how you can connect. 

Website:  https://www.intentionallyfabulous.com
FaceBook:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/intentionallyfabulous

https://rocksolidfamilies.org

#Rocksolidfamilies #familytherapy  #marriagecounseling  #parenting  #faithbasedcounseling #counseling #Strongdads #coaching #lifecoach #lifecoaching #marriagecoaching #marriageandfamily #control #security #Respect #affection #love #purpose #faith

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#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy,  #marriagecounseling,  #parenting,  #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity

Secrets versus Transparency.
During this show, Linda and Merrill tackle the subject of secrets in relationships.  Is it important that you know everything about your partner?  Should you tell your partner everything that has ever happened in your life or even in your mind?  How transparent should you be? 

This topic is among the most impactful matter you will ever manage in your relationship.  This is not actually a matter of secrets versus transparency, but rather a matter of TRUST!  Trust is the glue that sustains and holds a relationship together.  Your words and actions always in harmony.  When there is a conflict or difference in these, trust begins to erode. 

The failure of trust in our society demonstrates itself on a regular basis.  We have great fear of not being able to trust people. We have security cameras, GPS tracking devices, sound tracking devices, and a host of many other ways to "check" on people to make sure their actions and words are connected - i.e. trustworthy.

When we see secrets in the marriage, whether big or small, we see red flags warning us that something is not good.  Couples know this but often will still try to evade or hid the truth.  Why?  This is a serious question.  Why would they be trying to hide the truth?  Is it because the truth is so bad that they know it would severely damage the relationship?  Is it because they are protecting a selfish fun or excitement in their life?  Whatever the case, trust is damaged by the secret. 

Check out the rest of the show to see the many different dynamics that exist when we are attempting to maintain a healthy relationship and build a strong foundation on trust.

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It's not an exaggeration to say that anxiety and depression are having a devastating impact on our children.  Researchers say that there has been a significant increase in these conditions in children since 2016.  While Covid was fuel for the fire, the trend was already well underway. 

In our schools and homes, we are seeing more kids than ever demonstrating the symptoms of anxiety and depression.  On so many other fronts we believe life is better than it has ever been.  We have less world poverty, more comforts, more technology, more entertainment opportunities, more, more, more.  So, how can our kids be struggling so much?

While human nature is fueled by more, it also indicates that our selfishness is fed by more.  "The more we get, the more we want."  We begin to set up false expectations and chase things that end up biting us once we catch them.  We use phrases like, "bigger is better", "you can never have enough", and "the grass is always greener".  All of these relate back to us not having what we want and desiring more.  The problem comes when we begin to see the damage from the chase. 

More split families, civil unrest, and feelings of injustice.  More people lack the ability to find contentment in anything.  The anxiety, depression, confusion, and lack of joy overwhelm us. 

It doesn't have to be this way.  As adults and parents there are plenty of things we can do to not just help ourselves, but more importantly, help our young children.  During this show, Linda and Merrill reflect on many of the challenges they see coming into their office.  They discuss the challenges that today's children are having and how to help them adjust and live a more fulfilled life.  By recognizing how to approach these challenges with your child, you can equip them to live a fruitful life unspoiled by the havoc of anxiety and depression.

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"You're dead to me", sounds like a pretty harsh phrase to use against someone else.  But, in our current culture it seems to be accepted as a very practical way to deal with people you disagree with or you simply do not like.  We have seen it in our politics, families, neighborhoods, and even marriages.  We have come to recognize the common phrase of "cancel culture", that indicates how we handle people that oppose us.

Yes, there may be a time when someone needs to be out of your life or at least firm boundaries set on your relationship.  But, when the emotional response of instantly kicking people out of your life is our first instinct, we are on a rapid road to tribalism. 

During today's show, Linda and Merrill break down this attitude and why we could all benefit by being a little more thoughtful before jumping to this response.  Our marriages, families, communities and nation are suffering and this is a primary reason.  We have little understanding of grace or much less the Matthew 18 principle. 

So, before you are too quick to burn a bridge, think twice about the possibility of having to travel over it again someday.

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#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy,  #marriagecounseling,  #parenting,  #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity

It may be safe to say that most people that are engaged to be married believe their marriage will last a lifetime.  But, we no from simple observation that not to be the case.  With nearly 50% of marriages breaking in divorce we have to ask the question: What went wrong? 

Obviously, none of us can be absolute certain of what will drive apart all marriages.  But one thing we do know from working with couples is that most couples do not know their spouse nearly as well as they thought they did the day they said "I do".

For this reason, at Rock Solid Families we spend a great deal of time helping couples prepare to get married.  A quality premarital counseling or coaching program is some of the best time, money and effort you will ever spend in your life.  Premarital work is about helping to identify some of the more subtle differences between a couple and then giving them the tools to work through the differences. 

In this episode Linda and Merrill break apart several of the essential areas that couples could benefit from discussing and processing to develop a better understanding as the walk into marriage.

9:39-10:43 - You may not know your partner as well as you think

16:33- 18:01 - Communication and Conflict Resolution

18:42 - 20:00 - Differences in lifestyle and living habits

20:23 - 21:04 - Understanding Money

21:09 - 22:03 - Leisure Activities and Personal Activities

22:04 - 22:46 - Sexual Expectations

24:12 - 25:42 - Family

25:46 - 27:19 - Roles in the Relationship

27:20 - 28:45 - Spiritual Beliefs

30:51 - 35:42 - Prepare

35:42 - 41:02 - Rock Solid Marriages

http://rocksolidfamilies.org

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#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy,  #marriagecounseling,  #parenting,  #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity