Rock Solid Families

Hosts - Merrill and Linda Hutchinson

Guest - Meredith Scudder - Assistant Director at Rock Solid Families

In today’s episode, your hosts Merrill and Linda welcome back special guest Meredith Scudder to join their discussion on defense mechanisms. Together, they emphasize that defense mechanisms are unconscious ways to reduce internal stress, acting as protective barriers against uncomfortable emotions or experiences and encourage listeners to acknowledge their own defense mechanisms and understand how they might impact relationships and personal growth.

This episode of Rock Solid Families podcast delves into the intriguing realm of defense mechanisms and emotional healing. Together with hosts Linda and Merill, Meredith explore various defense mechanisms people adopt to shield themselves from emotional wounds, ranging from humor and denial to projection and reaction formation. By acknowledging that these defense mechanisms stem from past traumas and serve as protective shields, they emphasize the need for self-awareness to comprehend the underlying emotions behind these coping strategies. Meredith and the hosts stress the value of finding safe spaces and accountability partners to process emotions and cultivate healthier coping mechanisms.

Don’t feel ashamed of your defense mechanisms, as they are a natural response to past experiences. Instead, be open to change and consider healthier ways of dealing with emotions. In the end, everyone has defense mechanisms to overcome. But with the right support and awareness, personal growth and deeper connections can be achieved.

Quotes

• "Sometimes these defense mechanisms create a boundary from us actually getting a little deeper either into ourselves or into our relationships.” (2:15 | Merrill)
• “Repression is where we subconsciously block out experiences. We've experienced something traumatic and we're conscious when it happens, but the brain shuts it out. Whereas suppression is when we consciously push it down.” ( 21:32 | Meredith)
• “These defense mechanisms are coming up for a reason. So you need to ask yourself, how are you feeling? And what are you trying to protect yourself from in that moment?” (26:24 | Meredith)

#EmotionalHealing #DefenseMechanisms #SelfAwareness #CopingStrategies #HealthyEmotions

Links

Defense Mechanisms | https://docs.google.com/document/d/1lJOCtOK6zmY80g7r_FYB07Qo_zvhioObGn7pkzJLqIQ/edit?usp=sharing

Instagram Merrill Hutchinson | https://www.instagram.com/hutchinsonmerrill/?hl=en 

Instagram Rock Solid Families | https://www.instagram.com/rocksolidfamilies/?hl=en 

Website | https://www.rocksolidfamilies.org/ 

Support the show

#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy,  #marriagecounseling,  #parenting,  #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity

“God designed marriage to be a covenant modeled from the one that He made with us,” explains co-host Linda Hutchinson. Nowadays, 50% of all marriages end in divorce. This is a startling statistic. The good news is that when you consider only the marriages of couples who pray together, less than 1% of those marriages end in divorce. In the first 4 parts of their Summer of Love Series, co-hosts Merrill and Linda Hutchinson introduced their Summer of Love Marriage Assessment for evaluating the quality of a marriage and walked through 3 of the four categories— communication, emotional connectedness and physical intimacy. Today, they discuss spiritual intimacy and share ten ways to build and strengthen spiritual intimacy within a marriage. 

Technically, you cannot have a marriage in the way that God intended without spiritual intimacy. There are immense benefits to deepening your relationship with your partner through a shared connection with God. One such benefit is that God acts as a third party in your relationship, providing mediation during times of conflict. By reflecting on your covenant with God and looking to his Word for guidance, it will be easier for you and your spouse to be on the same page when making decisions. God’s love is unconditional. So when you mirror your marriage with God’s covenant with humanity, it will be easier to love your spouse unconditionally and extend them grace when they make mistakes. When you strengthen your spiritual intimacy with your spouse, it solidifies why God is important to your family and weaves faith into the fabric of the futures you are creating for yourselves and your children. 

If you are not sure where to begin with developing your spiritual intimacy, start with having an open, honest conversation with your spouse about God. Find a church where you both feel comfortable and turn to the scriptures anytime you are questioning what decisions to make for your family. Start creating faith based traditions for your children and really showing them the importance of prioritizing a relationship with God. When you commit to growing your spiritual intimacy, you and your spouse will be able to experience the joy and connection with one another that God intended for all His children.

Quotes

• “If the spiritual side is not in your marriage, then you're not as deep as you can go yet.” (9:33 | Merrill)
• “Oftentimes marriages as soon as it gets difficult, they throw the divorce word. But what would happen if you both humbled yourself and said, ‘What does God ask us to do here?’.” (11:51 | Merrill)
• “God designed marriage to be a covenant modeled from the one that He made with us.” (12:29 | Linda)
• “Belief or even faith is empty without deeds.” (18:43 | Merrill) 
• “If we pray together on a daily basis… those marriages divorce at less than 1%.” (20:58 | Merrill)
• “Love your spouse the way God loves you.” (39:27 | Linda) 

Links

Summer of Love Assessment: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MqDxgddfmr7rzbQRFV1jC0VaUdok3XnG/view?usp=sharing

Instagram Rock Solid Families | https://www.instagram.com/rocksolidfamilies/?hl=en 

Website | https://www.rocksolidfamilies.org/ 

Support the show

#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy,  #marriagecounseling,  #parenting,  #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity

Rock Solid Families - Ep 246 - Summer of Love - Part 4 - Physical Intimacy 

“We're called to be unconditionally loving and respectful but when we're hurting each other, we start to throw conditions,” shares co-host Merrill Hutchinson. When it comes to building intimacy within a relationship, men and women often approach the idea from very different perspectives. Men tend to be more focused on sex as the main form of physical intimacy whereas women tend to combine physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy into one thing. In the first 3 parts of their Summer of Love Series, co-hosts Merrill and Linda Hutchinson introduced their Summer of Love Marriage Assessment for evaluating the quality of a marriage and walked through 2 of the four categories, communication and emotional connectedness. Today, they discuss physical intimacy and provide insight into how both men and women view intimacy in a relationship.

Even though men might think otherwise, it is not possible to separate physical intimacy from emotional and spiritual intimacy when considering the overall wellness of a marriage. Just as women may need foreplay before getting physically intimate with their spouse, men often require warming up before engaging in emotional or spiritual intimacy. It’s important to remember that neither the husband nor the wife is right or wrong in their perspective of intimacy, they are just wired to think differently. To reconnect and grow your physical intimacy, you will need to take the time to understand one another while extending grace, unconditional love, and respect. 

There are several intimacy busters that can cause issues within a marriage such as withholding one form of intimacy in order to get another, constantly criticizing your spouse, or acting in a way that seems emotionally distant. Often, these issues come from the lack of understanding that stems from the inherent differences between the sexes. When you and your partner can approach intimacy from a place of unconditional love and respect and show grace and forgiveness, then you can walk hand in hand with Christ toward a Summer of Love. 

Quotes

• “Men have to be warmed up in emotional intimacy and in spiritual intimacy.” (15:01 | Merrill)
• “Please do not use one [type of intimacy] as a weapon to get the other or vice versa.” (16:03 | Linda)
• “If we're going to improve the physical intimacy, we can't just throw aside the emotional and spiritual intimacy, because that's how the female brain is more connected.” (17:50 | Merrill) 
• “We're called to be unconditionally loving and respectful but when we're hurting each other, we start to throw conditions.” (20:03 | Merrill)

Links

Summer of Love Assessment: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MqDxgddfmr7rzbQRFV1jC0VaUdok3XnG/view?usp=sharing

Intimacy Builders and Intimacy Busters -https://drive.google.com/file/d/1QGgjyGeDalAQjt0vBN8oe-Kszk62d3Lw/view?usp=sharing

Rock Solid Families: http://rocksolidfamilies.org

Instagram Rock Solid Families | https://www.instagram.com/rocksolidfamilies/?hl=en 

Website | https://www.rocksolidfamilies.org/ 

Support the show

#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy,  #marriagecounseling,  #parenting,  #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity

“There's a lot of evil and hopelessness out in the world, but we don't have to experience that when we have each other and when we know Christ,” explains co-host Linda Hutchinson. Emotional wellness within a relationship is what keeps marriages healthy and strong year after year. In Parts 1 and 2 of their Summer of Love Series, co-hosts Merrill and Linda Hutchinson shared their Marriage Assessment tool for evaluating the quality of a marriage, breaking it down into four categories, emotional connectedness, spiritual connectedness, physical intimacy, and communication skills. Today, Merrill and Linda discuss emotional connectedness and provide five specific ways to reignite the spark, so you can both begin to dream again for the future you are building together.

Emotional wellness is all about how you and your partner feel about each other. Think about how you felt about your spouse back when you were still dating. Do you still feel that same level of excitement now? Do you still dream for your future with them in mind? If you and your partner have lost some of this emotional connection, don’t worry. You can start to rekindle emotional wellness through intentional communication and empathy. Check in on your partner’s emotional state, making note of how they are doing, and doing what you can to lighten their load. Remember that when you decided to marry, two became one. Try to view situations from your partner’s perspective. Fuel one another’s hearts and the hope for the future you will share together will begin to flourish again. 

Consider whether your actions are helping or hurting your partner’s heart. You both decided to commit your lives to one another and that means that you cannot be selfish with your behavior. Complete the linked Marriage Assessment to see where you and your partner stand on emotional connectedness and start taking steps today to reignite dreaming with one another. 

Quotes

• “Sometimes we have very unrealistic expectations and we really set our partner up for failure when we put them on a pedestal, when we expect them to complete us, and to give us something that really God is the one that's intended to give us, not our partner.” (8:26-8:45 | Linda)
• “Let's go about pursuing those dreams and seeking out that connection with your partner the right healthy way.” (10:27-10:33 | Linda)
• “Are you helping or hurting your partner's heart?” (18:07-18:09 | Linda)
• “When you committed your life to one another, you committed to share the load together.” (23:37-23:42 | Linda)
• “The key is empathy.” (24:14-24:15 | Merrill)
• “There's a lot of evil and hopelessness out in the world, but we don't have to experience that when we have each other and when we know Christ.” (25:55-26:02 | Linda)

Links
Summer of Love Assessment: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZPpGt0BsmNwkaBsUSwoUBTsYtf4K4dDFqJJI1uDxoOs/edit?usp=sharing

YouTube: https://youtu.be/ubpZ1AggkiU Podcast:https://www.buzzsprout.com/636718/13113598-rock-solid-families-podcast-summer-of-love-series-part-3-emotional-wellness-episode-245.mp3?download=true

Website | https://www.rocksolidfamilies.org/ 

Support the show

#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy,  #marriagecounseling,  #parenting,  #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity

Rock Solid Families - Ep 244 -  Summer of Love Series - Part 2 - Communication

“We're not saying you're not going to have conflict. It’s how you resolve the conflict and the tools that you have in your toolbox,” explains co-host Linda Hutchinson. Healthy communication strategies are pivotal for maintaining and building intimacy within a marriage. In Part 1 of their Summer of Love Series, co-hosts Merrill and Linda introduced their Marriage Assessment, a tool for couples to determine their strengths and weaknesses within their partnership. This assessment breaks marriage quality down into four categories, emotional connectedness, spiritual connectedness, physical intimacy, and communication skills. Today, Merrill and Linda Hutchinson discuss communication skills through sharing their ten key rules of engagement for communicating with a significant other. 

These ten rules of engagement are game changers when it comes to building intimacy and communicating effectively. By taking the time now to recognize and resolve breakdowns in communication, you can prevent larger marital issues from popping up down the road. Effective communication starts with intentionality. Make time each day for a heart check with your partner, prioritizing checking in on how one another is feeling over any and all distractions. When speaking with your spouse, give them your full undivided attention and resist the urge to interrupt the conversation. Research shows that it can take around eight minutes to progress past surface level talk, so it is critical that you allow enough time for these daily check-ins. When you do have a conflict, set a time limit for resolving it instead of allowing it to linger and grow. By using ‘I statements’, you can take ownership of your feelings and be assertive without putting your partner on the defensive. Most importantly, make time to pray with your partner. Couples who pray together statistically have a much lower likelihood of divorce.

Following these ten rules of engagement will help you build more intimacy so that you and your partner can enjoy a Summer of Love. Be sure to complete the linked Marriage Assessment to get a clear picture of the quality of your marriage and use it as a guideline for which areas to invest more work into. 

Quotes

• “Men are slow to warm up to talking about how they are feeling about things.” (12:47-12:52 | Merrill)
• “Research says it takes about seven to eight minutes before you get past surface talk.” (14:05-14:10 | Linda)
• “Trust the process and show that you are invested in it.” (15:31-15:36 | Merrill)
• “Pray together with your spouse on a regular basis.” (31:47-31:50 | Linda) 

Links

Summer of Love Assessment: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZPpGt0BsmNwkaBsUSwoUBTsYtf4K4dDFqJJI1uDxoOs/edit?usp=sharing

Youtube: https://youtu.be/MHdbrBwDSVU. 
Podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/636718/13113572

Instagram Rock Solid Families | https://www.instagram.com/rocksolidfamilies/?hl=en 

Website | https://www.rocksolidfamilies.org/ 

Support the show

#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy,  #marriagecounseling,  #parenting,  #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity

Rock Solid Families - Ep 242 -  Summer of Love Series - Part 1

Summer of Love Assessment: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1MqDxgddfmr7rzbQRFV1jC0VaUdok3XnG/view?usp=sharing

“You take your car in for regular oil changes, you go to the doctor for your regular checkups and go to the dentist for your regular cleanings. Why are we not being as intentional or really focused on our marriage and keeping it fresh?”, asks co-host Linda Hutchinson. Continuing to grow love and intimacy within your relationship takes work. Both you and your spouse must be on the same page about wanting to put in the time and energy required for building a healthy marriage. 

Today, Merrill and Linda share their Summer of Love Marriage Assessment and walk through each of the steps for scoring the quality of your marriage. When you know where your relationship is lacking, you can begin to actively work on fixing the problems and build a healthier marriage going forward. The assessment breaks the quality of a marriage down into four categories, dreaming or emotional connectedness, spiritual connectedness, physical intimacy, and communication skills. Depending on where you and your partner each score yourselves for each question, you may find that you both have very different perspectives on the current health of your marriage. This is natural and gives you a great starting point for beginning to repair your relationship.

A healthy marriage requires dedication to continuing to grow your love and intimacy each day. Complete the Summer of Love Marriage Assessment with your spouse to see where your marriage is thriving and where it may need some additional work. 

Quotes

• “You take your car in for regular oil changes, you go to the doctor for your regular checkups and go to the dentist for your regular cleanings. Why are we not being as intentional or really focused on our marriage and keeping it fresh?” (7:06-7:21 | Linda)
• “Even on a simple level, we have to have a commonness in how we have the faith to move on each day.” (11:38-11:44 | Merrill)
• “It's not about having conflict. It's about how well you repair it.” (18:26-18:30 | Linda)
• “If you don't take the time to understand each other and listen to one another, then you're not going to have that trust level and you're not going to have that intimacy that we're looking for.” (24:52-25:02 | Linda)
• “How do we get healthier so we can have a summer of love?” (34:00-34:03 | Linda) 

Links

YouTube: https://youtu.be/EW4gSIwi7zU 

Podcast: https://www.buzzsprout.com/636718/13074279-rock-solid-families-podcast-summer-of-love-series-part-1-episode-242.mp3?download=true

Instagram Merrill Hutchinson | https://www.instagram.com/hutchinsonmerrill/?hl=en 

Instagram Rock Solid Families | https://www.instagram.com/rocksolidfamilies/?hl=en 

Website | https://www.rocksolidfamilies.org/ 

Support the show

#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy,  #marriagecounseling,  #parenting,  #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity

God has designed all living creatures to fight for life.  Built in to our creation is the idea that life should be valued and protected.  We have intrinsic responses to danger such as our fight or flight responses, to help us in life threatening moments. We make it a priority to have protective measures in place to keep us from harm.  We are motivated to spend time, money, and energy to protective ourselves from threats to our lives and potential harm.

At what point does our fear of dying become obsessive and even counterproductive to living?  The fear of death can be crippling to many people.  Fear so great that the person feels trapped and unable to live with the abundance that God desires for them.

Fear of dying comes from so many aspects related to death.  Uncertainty in the time,  the process, the emotions, and the relationships. What will it look like?  This great fear stems from the unknown.  During this show, Merrill and Linda discuss the importance of finding a reassuring certainty in our death that is promised by Jesus Christ.  This promise that Jesus gives is what allows us to look death in the face with a settle heart and a clear path forward with Christ.  Our Christian Faith is the anti-fear of death.

To live our fullest we must not allow fear to dictate our motives and actions.  We must respect the potential dangers and risks but not be paralysed by them.  Christ promises so much more when we give our fears to him and trust in his ways.

http://rocksolidfamilies.org

Support the show

#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy,  #marriagecounseling,  #parenting,  #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity

Rock Solid Families - Ep 241 - Father's Day 2023

“We would do very well for the next generation to start celebrating the women and men for how God designed them to be,” explains co-host Merrill Hutchinson. Research shows that 31% of children in the US are being raised without their biological father in their home. This is an alarming statistic, as fatherlessness has been shown to have direct correlations to hardships such as drug use, homelessness, and crime. Today, co-hosts Merrill and Linda Hutchinson approach Father’s Day with a discussion about celebrating the important role of fathers and the value of protecting and obeying the Biblical family structure that God created for His people.

It is not enough to just have gratitude for the blessings that have been passed down from generation to generation. As a parent, you are responsible for not only passing down those blessings to your own children but also teaching them that those blessings came from God. Fathers, especially, must teach their sons to protect the concept of the traditional family structure and the roles that men and women were designed for by the Lord. Just dropping your kids off at Sunday school is not enough to ensure your children have a strong foundation in faith. You have to demonstrate God’s word by living it and show your children what a healthy, Godly family looks like. When you model what it actually means to live by God’s Word, your children will be better able to recreate that for their own families in the future.

God wants His children to all reach the blessings of the Promised Land of milk and honey. It is up to you as parents to help your children live by God’s design, so that they too can receive the blessings of the Lord. 

Quotes

• “31% of the kids in our country are being raised without their biological father in the house.” (5:35-5:42 | Merrill)
• “Stop bashing the men. We need our men as much as we need our women, neither is better. Both are essential to a healthy culture.” (23:17-23:25 | Linda)
• “Once you start teaching your sons what it is to be of God in terms of how they behave and act; then you teach them, especially us dads to our sons, how to protect that whole concept.” (25:30-25:48 | Merrill)
• “Mom and dads, we have got to practice obedience to God's design.” (28:07-28:10 | Linda)
• “We would do very well for the next generation to start celebrating the women for how God designed them to be, the femininity of the women, the caring, the strength of the women, and celebrating men for how God designed them to be.” (30:21-30:36 | Merrill)
• “Do not apologize for having a mom and a dad, for being called a woman and a man. Please, let us as followers of Christ, celebrate and fight for the protection of the way God designed us to live our lives.” (31:56-32:12 | Linda) 

Links
YouTube: https://youtu.be/oY5ssOrDDS8 Podcast:https://www.buzzsprout.com/636718/12977842-rock-solid-families-podcast-fathers-day-2023-episode-241.mp3?download=true
Instagram Merrill Hutchinson | https://www.instagram.com/hutchinsonmerrill/?hl=en
Instagram Rock Solid Families | https://www.instagram.com/rocksolidfamilies/?hl=en
Website | https://www.rocksolidfamilies.org/ 

Support the show

#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy,  #marriagecounseling,  #parenting,  #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity

Rock Solid Families - Ep 240 - Preparing Your Kids for Battle

“As Christ followers, it's important that we band together and equip our kids for the culture war that we are in today,” shares co-host Linda Hutchinson. When you were growing up, you may never have needed to defend your faith because Christianity was more accepted. Nowadays, kids are growing up in a very different world where Christianity is no longer the dominant culture. Most alarmingly, those who stick by God’s Word are now often viewed as evil, judgmental, and old-fashioned. Studies show that 70% of college aged children in the United States will walk away from their faith, and although many will return when they have their own families, around 30 to 35% will remain lost. Today, co-hosts Merrill and Linda Hutchinson discuss how to equip your children for the spiritual battles they will face throughout their lives, so that they know how to defend their faith and stand strong on the foundation of God’s Word.

It is no longer enough to rely on Church and Sunday School alone when training your children to have faith in God’s Word. There is an active battle for your children’s hearts and minds and it is important for parents to prepare themselves for questions and possibly even backlash about their spiritual beliefs. In the book Mama Bear Apologetics, there are ten steps outlined for parents to follow when laying a strong foundation of faith for their children. It is up to you as the parent to set a healthy example of what having a personal relationship with Christ looks like. Teach your children to seek the truth in God’s word and to think critically when their faith is challenged. 

When you properly equip your kids to defend their faith, you give them the tools to live Godly lives and share the good news of God’s love with the world.

Quotes

• “At least 70% of students who go off to college or are college age will walk away from their faith as a Christian.” (6:03-6:11 | Linda)
• “As Christ followers, it's important that we band together and equip our kids for the culture war that we are in today.” (11:54-12:00 | Linda)
• “You're losing 30 to 35% of your total church population with every generation.” (14:05-14:11 | Linda)
• “Earlier and earlier our children are being confronted with very sweet sounding teachings which are lies and a very appealing worldview.” (25:34-25:43 | Linda)
• “The only way we can reverse some of these statistics is to recognize the lies for ourselves, and then help our kids recognize them.” (26:16-26:23 | Linda)
• “What we know is that when we go against God's way, God's nature, things don't work well.” (35:02-35:09 | Merrill)

Links

YouTube: https://youtu.be/BkYLOoJl0oc. Podcast:https://www.buzzsprout.com/636718/12945917-rock-solid-families-podcast-preparing-your-kids-for-battle-episode-240.mp3?download=true

http://rocksolidfamilies.org
Instagram Merrill Hutchinson | https://www.instagram.com/hutchinsonmerrill/?hl=en
Instagram Rock Solid Families | https://www.instagram.com/rocksolidfamilies/?hl=en
Website | https://www.rocksolidfamilies.org/ 

Support the show

#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy,  #marriagecounseling,  #parenting,  #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity

Rock Solid Families - Ep 239 - The 5 Essentials of Trust 

Merrill and Linda Hutchinson

“If you are a person who can't trust people, you live a life of paranoia. If you are a person who can't be trusted, you live a life of frustration and anger,” explains co-host Merrill Hutchinson. Trust is the foundation for all healthy relationships. Without it, you are unable to form relationships with others and will end up isolated. On the other hand, if you give your trust too freely, you open yourself up to getting hurt. Today, co-hosts Merrill and Linda Hutchinson discuss building trust based on the 5 essentials outlined in Dr. Henry Cloud’s book, Trust. They share examples from their own life experiences along with a look into what the Bible has to say about trust and establishing healthy boundaries.

Trust is the most difficult part of a relationship to rebuild after it has been broken. The five essential elements for determining whether to trust somebody are understanding, motive or intentions, ability, character, and reputation or track record. In addition to these essential elements, Merrill suggests that time is also a critical component of building trust, especially in regard to track record and making up for past mistakes. When you choose to trust someone, you are taking a very real risk with your heart. In order to protect yourself from unnecessary risk, you can use the five elements as a sort of litmus test for whether to open up to that person or not. 

The Bible says to trust in God and His Word above all else. When you establish boundaries around who is worthy of your trust, you set yourself up for forming healthier relationships. The next time you are in a position where you are deciding whether to trust someone or are trying to build trust within a relationship, consider these five essential elements before making yourself vulnerable. 

Quotes

• “Trust is the fastest thing to fall apart and the hardest thing to rebuild back in relationships.” (1:51-1:58 | Merrill)
• “I don't want anyone out there listening to be boundaryless and unprotected, because that's when we really are hurt.” (9:21-9:28 | Linda)
• “The Bible says, ‘The heart is deceitful, above all things’, so if we just trust in our own heart, not God and His Word, then we set ourselves up for failure.” (11:02-11:10 | Linda)
• “We need to trust people whose motives align with God and His Word.” (17:22-17:25 | Linda)
• “The best predictor of the future is the past. When we trust someone, we place ourselves in a vulnerable position, so we need to do due diligence of looking at their record.” (27:06-27:16 | Linda)
• “If you are a person who can't trust people, you live a life of paranoia. If you are a person who can't be trusted, you live a life of frustration and anger.” (33:42-33:53 | Merrill)

YouTube -https://youtu.be/gZvSZGq_TLs
Podcast -https://www.buzzsprout.com/636718/12878013
Webpage - https://rocksolidfamilies.org
Instagram Merrill Hutchinson | https://www.instagram.com/hutchinsonmerrill/?hl=en
Instagram Rock Solid Families | https://www.instagram.com/rocksolidfamilies/?hl=en 

Website | https://www.rocksolidfamilies.org/ 

Support the show

#Rocksolidfamilies, #familytherapy,  #marriagecounseling,  #parenting,  #faithbasedcounseling, #counseling, #Strongdads, #coaching, #lifecoach, #lifecoaching, #marriagecoaching, #marriageandfamily, #control, #security, #respect, #affection, #love, #purpose, #faith, #affairs, #infidelity