Rock Solid Families

Hopelessness is no laughing matter.  When we hear such words we know that people are in a potentially dangerous place.  They are giving up.  Such words as "suicide", "not worth it anymore", and "i'm finished", are some of the trembling phases that catch our attention.  This is why HOPE is so important.

Hope is the fuel that gets us out of bed every single day.  Hope is the positive anticipation that something can be better.  But, hope does not stand alone.  Hope must be founded on something even greater, FAITH!  Faith is the foundation on which hope stands. 

So the question is, what is your faith based on?  When we base our faith on such feeble and fickle things such as ourselves or even our best friends, it's not long until we are disappointed.  We all fall short! Rather, when we place our faith in something that is all-knowing, all-powerful, all-loving, we can have a HOPE that surpasses all human understanding.  There is only one such thing and that is GOD!  

When we put our faith in God and learn to trust His ways over ours, amazing things happen.  Peace, Contentment, Love, and Care are just the tip of the iceberg.  

Is it time to rethink what you are placing your faith in ? 

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Tune in as Linda and Merrill take on common questions presented by parents.  Raising kids in today's world comes with a hosts of challenges; peer pressure, homework struggles, identity crisis, and bad attitudes are just the tip of the iceberg.  While there is often no one exactly correct answer, there are many basic guidelines to help us through parenting questons.

Building your house on a firm foundation of values is the beginning. Too often parents make assumptions that they are sharing the same values for their children. But, when tested, they discover that they may not actually be on the same page.  Establish your family values and make it loud and clear to everyone in the family that these values do not change based on mood or circumstances.   

Establishing and maintaining the authority in the home is of next importance.   Children are not equipped to lead the home even though they may think they are. Setting clear boundaries, expectations, and consequences are essential in helping the family navigate the child rearing days.  Avoid  arguing, negotiating, or wavering on the enforcement of expectations and consequences.  Your kids may push back, but your steadfast commitment to the way forward is of utmost importance. 

Seek a healthy understanding and balance between raising your kids in truth and grace.  Yes, we all want our kids to know and follow the truth, but we also no that no one besides Christ has been able to do this.  So, when they fall short, bless them with the same grace that Christ extends to all of us. 

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Just like your teacher always encouraged you to ask questions because probably someone else in the class had the same question. We do the same thing at Rock Solid Families.  This episode deals with several of the many questions that people have concerning their marriage.  Check them out and see which ones hit close to home for you. 

Communication and Conflict

***Riley: "We've been arguing about the same things for months now. We just go around in circles. What are some effective communication strategies to break this pattern?"

***Noah: "I feel like I'm always the one making sacrifices, whether it's my career or my hobbies. Is it fair to expect my partner to meet me halfway?"

Intimacy and Emotional Connection
***Olivia: "We've been married for 10 years, and I feel like we're drifting apart emotionally. How can we deepen our emotional connection?"

***Liam: "With both of us working full-time jobs and raising two kids, we're always so busy. How can we prioritize quality time for each other?"

Stress and Life Changes
***Charlotte: "Since I started my new job, I've been feeling overwhelmed and stressed. It's affecting our relationship. How can we better balance our work and home lives?"

***Mia: "My partner's family is always interfering in our decisions, and it's driving me crazy. How can we set healthy boundaries?"

Personal Growth and Individuality
***Noah: "I still have feelings for an ex, and it's bothering me. How can I let go of the past and move forward?"
***Ella: "My partner's constant criticism is making me feel insecure. How can I boost my self-esteem?"

Send us your questions.  Go to: https://rocksolidfamilies.org

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• We first want to say that we do not want to minimize anyone’s problems or challenges.  They are real, and they can be difficult.  
• The other thing to keep in mind is that no matter who you are, no one escapes the challenges of life.  Rich, poor, black, white, urban, rural, Christian, atheist, it doesn’t matter, we all have problems. 
• Having problems reveals a deeper side of ourselves that many of us would like to keep hidden. 
• Problems actually can have benefits. In the moment they may seem overwhelmingly painful, but over time we often can see good on the other side. 

1. Recognize and accept that mankind lives in a fallen world where God has allowed bad things to happen.  He allows us free will and we can and have rejected His ways.  Therefore, we have separated ourselves from him and for that we will suffer the natural consequences.  Disease, selfishness, broken relationships, greed, war, etc…
2. Ask the right questions when you’re in a bad time.  Not, “Why me?”, but rather, “What can I learn from this?”, “What is my part in this?”, “What can I do about this?”
3. Problems can trigger us into victimhood or empowerment, we decide!

1 Timothy 6:12 “Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.”

1. Problems offer us a great opportunity to get closer to God and rest on him. 

1 Thessalonians 5:16-17 "Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances..." “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” 

1. Problems can be handled intentionally or not.  When handled with intention we become more in tune with our resourcefulness, our need for others, our human weaknesses, our strength of faith, and our ability to persevere. 

Psalm 9:9 “The LORD is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble. And those who know your name put their trust in you, for you, O LORD, have not forsaken those who seek you.”

1. Problems actually make us stronger - “whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”
2. Problems can and should help us to understand that God wants our heart!

Psalm 55:22 “Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.”

• Undoubtedly, we can all share our stories of hardship.  But no matter the story, we are called and encouraged to seek and honor God.  The pain we suffer on this earth will be erased and replaced with pure joy in heaven.  This is the motivation to have hope and look to the future.  Without this hope, our problems are truly life ending. 

Take some time this week to actively think about your blessings.  Certain people, faith, opportunities, health, wealth, home, whatever it is that you consider a blessing, take time to focus on those things and practice having gratitude in the storms. 

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These days there are many things trying to tell us who we should be and how we are to act.  The truth is, most of it is not even close to what God has called us to be.  In this special episode of Girl Power Hour, Jenna, Bridgitte and Linda take on the messaging of the world as it relates to today's young moms.  

Trying to raise  children, balance a career, and still be a good wife are not simple tasks. On top of all of this, we have what seems everyone on planet earth trying to armchair quarterback the best way to do these things.  

At some point in time we must called it what it is, INSANITY!  Trying to do what the world tells us we should do is a sure fire way lose who you are as a person and child of God. 

Listen in to our conversation and hear our struggles and how we attempt to reprioritize in be the person God wants us to be. 

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Do you find yourself saving your kids from adversity and challenge?  Do you spend excessive amounts of time fighting your kid's battles?  If so, you may very well be a snow plowing parent.  

There are a number of different parenting styles but in the last decade one that has grown in use has been called the Snow Plowing Parent, or sometimes called, Bulldozing Parent. Either way, it is expressing the idea that the parent is attempting to clear a pathway for their kids to make the route as easy as possible for the kids.  While this typically comes with the best of intentions, we have seen it backfire on us and create much bigger problems than we initially were attempting to solve. 

As much as we don't like it, stress and pressure are part of life and actually turn out to be a good part of life when taken in healthy doses.  Stresses make us stronger and more capable over the long haul due to teaching us how to handle and adapt to the stress loads that life will be throwing at us. 

Think about a tree that grows in a dense forest.  Then cut away all the trees in the forest except for the single tree.  Initially is looks so tall and beautiful standing on its own, but then the first big wind comes only to uproot it and topple it to the ground.  Why?  The tree simply did not built the strength in the root system, branches, and even wood to sustain these kinds of outer forces.  

In order for a tree to handle such stresses it should grow in an area where winds push to create a response of strengthening from the tree; more roots, lower branches, more dense wood.  

Check out this week's show to see how you can catch your snowplowing parenting and make adjustments to equip your kids for the best opportunities. 

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We have a saying and expectation at our house.  "Our house is a house of peace".  We didn’t realize this until we adopted our younger kids and we began to see the chaos that was draining all of us.  As we struggled to understand what happened to our peace, we realized just how important peace is in the house.  Peace is necessary in order for people to rest and replenish their energy stores to go out and live another day in this crazy world. 

The Ripple Effects of a Life Without Peace
When peace is absent from our lives, it creates a ripple effect, impacting every aspect of our being. Our physical health can deteriorate as stress hormones surge, leading to ailments like insomnia, headaches, and weakened immunity. Our mental clarity is clouded, making it difficult to concentrate, learn, and make sound decisions. Emotionally, we become more prone to anxiety, depression, and irritability, straining our relationships with others. Spiritually, we may feel disconnected from a higher power, leading to a sense of emptiness and a loss of purpose.

The Disruptors of Peace
Several factors contribute to the disruption of peace in our lives. Financial worries, relationship conflicts, career pressures, and societal unrest can all create significant stress and anxiety. Fear of the unknown, unresolved past traumas, and negative self-talk further erode our sense of inner calm. However, the root cause of these disruptions often lies in a lack of connection with the true source of peace – Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace.

Reclaiming Peace: 7 Practical Steps
To restore peace to our lives, we must turn to the ultimate source of tranquility. Here are seven practical steps to help us reconnect with Jesus and experience His peace:

Seek Solitude: Spend time alone with God in prayer and meditation. This allows us to quiet our minds and listen to His voice.

Embrace Scripture: Regularly read and meditate on God's Word. The Bible offers wisdom, comfort, and guidance that can bring peace to our hearts and minds.
Practice Gratitude: Focus on the blessings in our lives, no matter how small. Gratitude shifts our perspective and fosters a sense of contentment.

Forgive Freely: Let go of resentment and bitterness. Forgiveness frees us from the burdens of the past and opens the door to healing and peace.

Serve Others: Helping others takes the focus off our own problems and brings joy and fulfillment.

Cultivate Healthy Habits: Prioritize sleep, nutrition, and exercise. These practices contribute to overall well-being and mental clarity.

Trust in God's Sovereignty: Surrender our worries and anxieties to God, trusting that He is in control. This releases us from the burden of trying to manage everything ourselves.

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Anyone that has ever been a parent knows that parenting can be challenging.  Sometimes half the battle is between the parents and not the kids.  But, if we want to make it even more challenging, add a divorce or separation into the picture.  Yes, now parenting goes to a new level of challenging.  

We often see what is called Parental Alienation between parents and their kids.  One parent intentionally or not, making it more difficult for the other parent to be involved in their kid's life.  This can be blatantly obvious or even more subtle.  The problem is that it causes damages to all the parties involved.  Nobody wins when this tactic is used.  

Cooperation and unity are the keys to successful parenting whether divorced or not.  Having both adults in the child's life coming to common values and expectations and then enforcing them when under the care of either parent.  This alleviates the confusion and the process of raising the child is more clear on everyone's part. 

 Co-Parenting After Divorce: Strategies for Success

Ephesians 4:3 -  Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Divorce can be a challenging experience for any family, but it can be especially difficult when co-parenting arrangements are involved. When two adults are not able to communicate effectively or work together amicably, the situation can become even more complex. However, there are several strategies that can help co-parents navigate these challenges and create a positive environment for their children.

One of the most effective strategies for co-parenting after divorce is to prioritize the needs of the children. This means putting aside personal differences and focusing on what is best for the children's well-being. Research has shown that children of divorced parents who have a positive relationship with both parents tend to have better emotional and social outcomes (Pruett & Pruett, 2009).

Another important strategy is to establish clear and consistent communication channels. This can be done through regular meetings, emails, or phone calls. It is important to maintain a respectful and professional tone, even when disagreements arise. Open and honest communication can help to minimize misunderstandings and resolve conflicts more effectively. When conflict is high, most courts recommend a safe and effective communication tool, Our Family Wizard, to communicate necessary messages.  The messages are saved and visible to the courts. This helps to keep everyone accountable with our messaging. 

It is also crucial to develop a parenting plan that outlines the specific details of custody, visitation, and decision-making responsibilities. This plan should be clear, concise, and legally binding. It is important to seek legal advice to ensure that the plan is fair and enforceable.

In addition to these strategies, co-parents may also benefit from seeking professional help. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance and support in developing effective communication skills and resolving conflicts. They can also help to address any underlying emotional issues that may be impacting the co-parenting relationship.


If you need help in this area please contact us at https://rocksolidfamilies.org

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Time for the ladies to put their spin on things.  Jenna, Bridgitte, and Linda are putting together a new program that will run once a month called, Girl Power.  The show will take the view of these three ladies on the many tasks of being a woman, mom, and wife in today's world.  This show promises to be informative, fun, and honoring of the people they so diligently serve. 

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Contrary to what you may hear from feminist, the majority of women that we work with in our office desire a good man in their lives. When asked what women are looking for here are some general answers and themes that we see in our office as well as what we read in the research. 

Empathy and understanding
Open and honest communication
Shared values and goals
Mutual respect
Shared responsibilities
Equality in decision-making
Intellectual stimulation
Shared interests and hobbies
Reliability and Dependability
Trustworthiness
Commitment
Financial stability
Leadership and Confidence 
Direction and Vision
Solid Values and Morals 
Commitment to Leading the Family Well

The challenge is that these men are harder and harder to find.  Women often find themselves settling or simply going without a man even though they desire a good man. 

There are many reasons that women are having a harder time finding the man of their dreams, but a few that we see and the research supports are:
Lacking Maturity - we know that now more than ever we have men that are slower to get their driver's licenses, go to college or trade school, move out of their parents’ house, or embark on a career. 

Lacking Motivation - We know that more than ever, young men are addicted to video games that steal hours of their days as they become over-stimulated by a false world.  This results in young men that are excited or motivated by the slower paced “wins” of real life and thus lose interest and motivation to do real life. 

Lacking Fathers - Possibly the largest contributor to the stunted growth of our young men is the simple fact that they lacked a father that challenged and encouraged them to actually become a man.  They make statements like; “I never had anyone show me how to do that”

Lacking Identity - The mixing of roles and responsibilities has driven women to do even more, while it has confused men with recognizing their gifts and what they can bring to the relationship.

Lacking Moral and Spiritual Compass - God’s Word is very clear on what his design is for men, but if you don’t know or believe in God’s Word, you have lost an opportunity to learn and receive an upbringing that gives you a clear vision of what it is to be a man. 

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