Rock Your Retirement Show

Randy Gardner's Retirement Experience

In today’s episode, we have Randy Gardner who is going to tell us about his retirement experience. Randy just recently retired. In fact, as of our recording, he had only been retired 1 week. Randy serves as an inspiration for the many listeners of my show who want to retire early or planning to retire but are may have some reservations.

Incidentally, Randy is also a big fan of the Rock Your Retirement Show and started to follow it a few years back. He had to travel for three hours between cities and grew the habit of listening to podcasts. That’s exactly when he discovered my show and started listening to it!

Soon, he got the idea to retire himself but wasn’t sure of his financial situation. He also had his wife to convince who was an artist but also quite adept when it came to finances.

How a financial advisor can help you decide if you are ready for retirement

Randy sat with his financial advisor and went through his financial position. He tried to evaluate how his retirement may turn out if he chose to quit his technical job. Interestingly, both of them realized that he would be doing quite well even if he chose to retire right now! They worked on the finances and his income including Social Security to get a detailed picture of his financial scenario into the retirement years.

Randy got his wife to sit down with his financial advisor who made the picture clear to his wife and answered all her questions. Getting the confidence he needed, Randy decided to give up his job and spend a life of retirement.

Randy is a Rock your Retirement listener!

I know that many of you are worried about being bored in retirement. Randy was also plagued by the same thought. He wondered how he could fill up his week which was earlier spent in working for over 40 hours. Let's take a look at Randy's retirement experience.

Randy had already started listening to my show and started taking cues and notes from the stories people had to contribute. He started to develop a list of things to do in his retirement life which will keep him busy. To his surprise, both Randy and his wife had quite a few things which they had put off due to various reasons.

Here are some things Randy wants to do to have a great retirement experience

For starters, Randy wants to play a lot of golf which he enjoys to the fullest! He is also thinking about continuing his interest in music and maybe start learning piano which he had gave up at the age of 12. Both Randy and his wife also want to travel a lot! They would like to go on some train trips and cruises that they've always had their eyes on.

Randy even wants to learn a foreign language and makes notes of things he wants to do in his iPad or iPhone all the time. Another impetus to retire was to spend more time with their daughter and son-in-law. Being retired they were now free to move to Austin, where their daughter lived. They also bought a house in the city which is located only a short distance away from their daughter’s home. Randy is also free to spend time with his mother who is single and over 90 years old.

Retiring has also brought other pleasures which he could not enjoy during his working life. He can go to bed late and wake up late. Although by his standards 6 am is as late as it could be! Randy loves to watch the sunrise with a cup of coffee. He believes it to be the best time to spend with family. He can begin the day with his daughter, son-in-law, and wife and talk about all the day has to offer.

Advice from Randy based on his retirement experience:

Randy believes that we all should have a routine and purpose to get up the next day. It doesn’t have to be something extraordinary but simple things like going to the gym or taking a walk in the park. He inherited the habit from his father who was a stern believer of a routine life.

Retire Early and Travel! Part 2 of 2

In this episode, I continue my conversation with Keith and Tina Paul who are early retirees with a zeal to travel. We have been talking about how to retire so that you can travel overseas and maybe even live there! Our guests also tell us how you can have a tight budget and still travel like you have desired. As we shall see from them, it’s easy to retire early and travel!

Keith and Tina tell us about their exciting appearance on HGTV’s International House Hunters. They sent an email to be on the show but didn’t get any reply for six months. They received an email asking them to be on the show just as they planned to move to Cuenca in Ecuador.

After answering 25 pages of questions and making an 8-minute promo video, they got to be on the show. Keith and Tina wrote a whole article about the “staged reality” show on their blog detailing the back of the scene events.

The couple became famous after their appearance on television and people started to recognize them even on their travels. People even asked to take pictures with them and recognized them from the HGTV show. They became a symbol of all that you can do if you retire early and travel.

What is it like to retire early and travel?

I ask Tina and Keith to tell us about some experiences in their travel and how we can look forward to retiring early. They tell us that many people resist the idea of traveling as they can’t speak the foreign language. But Keith says you don’t need to be a language expert to visit or stay in other countries.

Both of them manages on broken Spanish and you can undertake your travel if you can speak a bit of the language. You can always take classes and learn the language to make things easy. Also, there are many countries that speak English.

Safety

I proceed to ask Keith and Tina about their experience of living abroad and the things that they liked. I was amazed to know that Cuenca is a super safe place where kids walk to school or take the public transport by themselves.

The place is also safe for walking at nights and there are no worries of being mugged or robbed. They feel like living in the 1950s when you didn’t need to fear about leaving your kids alone or going out in the dark.

Healthcare

Healthcare is also another major vertical which differs from the USA. The doctors are compassionate and even give their personal number to patients. Medical procedures are almost 25% cheaper than the USA and you can visit an eye specialist in $40- which even includes the charges for all follow-up visits!

Supplies

When I asked them to relate the things they didn’t like, it amounted to just a few things. They cannot get most American brand foods in the supermarkets. So if you have become used to something then it may be a problem. But some people in Ecuador sell American things for an extra charge, so there isn’t much of a problem, and you can always find domestic alternatives.

One of the biggest challenges of living in a place like Cuenca is lack of connectivity. It doesn’t have an international airport and you have to fly to Quito to catch an international flight. They had once missed a cruise as the local flight to Quito was canceled.

Another problem is that you don’t get Amazon deliveries on the same day and have to pay tariffs and high shipping charges on top of it. Also, you cannot carry more than 2 phones into the city.

The drawbacks of living abroad are never enough to hold you back. Like Keith and Tina, you can also retire early and travel!

Connect with Keith and Tina

* E-mail: [email protected]

* Website:

Retire Early and Travel!

Many people have the dream to retire early and enjoy a peaceful and happy life. Some have special reasons to retire early and this episode is all about how to retire early and travel to your heart’s content.

Our guests Keith and Tina Paul will enlighten us on how you can retire early and travel even if you have a tight budget. Both Tina and Keith are early retirees and live abroad in Cuenca, Ecuador. The retired just at the age of 55 to travel and see the world and Keith never wants to go to work for a single day in his life again!

How they decided to retire early and travel

Tina and Keith have known each other since they were 18 years old and got married at 24. They shared a strong love and passion for traveling and chanced upon the idea of living abroad when they were visiting Guatemala.

They met a couple living there and found that they could live there for less money than in the USA. Their kids also worked and lived abroad, and Tina and Keith wanted a glimpse of their lifestyle.

They got to working on their plans as soon as they got home. Keith did the math to make sure that financially they could retire, and they would be able to live off their money in some less expensive country. They started Googling places to live and zeroed in on Cuenca in Ecuador.

Advice for someone who wants to retire early and live abroad

Keith and Tina tell us that we don’t need a lot of money to live abroad or travel. It helps to have savings, but you can also live off your Social Security check in a place like Cuenca. The couple runs a website Retire Early and Travel where they write their experiences and post pictures of their travels.

How did they choose WHERE to live? Just a simple process of elimination really. They made a wish list of 10 things they wanted and checked places off as it matched them. Tina and Keith wanted a walkable city and a nice climate like Southern California. They already loved Latin culture and spoke a bit of Spanish which made them fall for Cuenca. Another advantage was that they could travel back to the USA whenever they pleased due to geographical proximity.

They decided to live in  Cuenca, Ecuador!

Cuenca became the destination of their dreams. It has a lot of expats, pleasant 70-degree weather with very less seasonal changes and a buy city which ensured they don’t end up getting bored! Cuenca is situated at 8,500 feet, and you don’t find any bugs and mosquitoes to ruin your peace.

The best thing about Cuenca is that you can live here on a monthly income of about $1,000. This was was never possible back in the United States. For a couple, you can live comfortably for $2,000 a month which includes everything like rent and food plus extras for things like eating out and entertainment! They even live in a 4,600 sq. ft. house for which they pay $1000 a month in rent.

Keith says that they have everything they need to have a comfortable lifestyle. They may not get all American brands but they can eat organic vegetables brought fresh from the farm without any harmful chemicals, pesticides, or preservatives. They even get produce for a lot cheaper than in the United States.

When I asked them about the things they find difficult in Cuenca, Keith only had to complain about high shipping charges and lack of same-day delivery from Amazon!

If you want to know how to retire early, you can visit their website Retire Early and Travel. It also has some nice articles on how to earn while you are retired and gives you best travel deals and hacks to make your dreams real!

Connect with Keith and Tina

* E-mail: [email protected]

* Website: https://www.retireearlyandtravel.com

* Twitter: @retiretravel

Writing memoirs for loved ones: Expectations vs. Reality

Loved ones like our parents have a lot of stories to tell but don’t always get the opportunity to do so.

In this episode, Nicola Davidson tells us how to write autobiographies and memoirs for your loved one or for yourself.

Working as a journalist and editor for multiple newspapers in Australia and UK, Nicola has interviewed many people who had fascinating stories to tell.

But the format of the newspaper didn’t allow such elaborate memoirs. This gave the idea to Nicola about writing autobiographies for your loved ones and she came up with the website Forever Young Autobiographies.com. You can learn how to write a bio for yourself or a loved one’s memoir.

I feel that I should have written down the stories of my father before dementia and Parkinson’s made it impossible. You may also want to write down and pass on the stories of your loved ones before it is too late.

We don't need to be writers

Nicola tells us that we don’t need to be writers or someone famous to write down our memoirs. But we should come up with a “why”- the purpose of telling or writing your story. For many people, it can be an inter-family thing with parents passing down their stories to their children. Having a “why” gives you a head start and gives you the desire to write down your story.

You shouldn’t also worry about where to begin! Just get the energy going and start writing whatever you remember first. That way you can write down several memories or short stories and arrange them according to a timeline later.

Writing is a creative process and you shouldn’t let the inner critic prevent you from writing whatever you feel. The best thing to do is to leave your inner critic for the second draft, according to Nicola. You can write or type out everything you remember and go take a break. After some time, you can come back to it and scan it with a fresh mind and eyes. You will be amazed that you had done a great job and can edit or modify your writing.

Nicola also gives us helpful tips on writing memoirs for seniors.

You can help them write down their stories as Nicola is helping her 98-year-old grandmother to do so. Your loved ones can relate or speak out the stories and you can record the speech and transcribe it later.

Some people may find it difficult to remember their memories. Nicola advises us to start with long-term memories which are the richest. She also describes a few exercises to churn up all the memories- You can take a walk around the house and stumble on things which stir up some memories associated with them.

Others find it helpful to look through their photo albums or vinyl collection to get the memories going. You can even remember things from certain smells like food from childhood. Nicola suggests you write down everything- your childhood years, high school memories, marriage stories- anything and everything that can go towards making an interesting memoir.

Connect with Nicola:

* [email protected]

* https://www.foreveryoungautobiographies.com

* Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/foreveryoungautobiographies/

BONUS! Click HERE to get Nicola's first few chapters of her book for FREE! Also includes a discount code if you buy the book.

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Do You Struggle with Family Rejection?

Family rejection is a very common problem across the world. Many kids don’t talk to their parents and don’t even want to maintain any contact. Many of my listeners have the same problem and have estranged daughter or son living in other countries.

In this episode, our guest Tina Gilbertson provides helpful insights on how to deal with family rejection. She is a Colorado-based psychotherapist who helps repair estranged relationships between parents and their children. Gilbertson found the problem so common among her clients that she wrote three books and a ton of articles on the subject.

She will be giving out important tips on how to deal with family rejection and get talking with your estranged children.

Every relationship has a chance

Tina believes that every relationship has a potential to be repaired but for that, parents need to take both emotional and strategic steps.

The first thing to do is to understand that your children may not be hurting you or avoiding you intentionally – it is because they have been hurt by something and hurting you back in the process.

Develop compassion

You have to develop a sense of self-compassion along with compassion for your children. You have to accept your mistakes and understand the grievances of your kids.

Also, you may not always be at fault. Sometimes kids have a different experience because of their personality and perception without you having done anything wrong. Everybody has their temperament and you cannot do anything about it. Whatever be the case get over the parental shame and develop a mindset of compassion.

Only then you will be able to get to apologize to repair the relationship.

Give a good apology

An apology is a gift and best tool to mend broken relationships suggests Tina. She lists out several factors that make up a good apology and open the doors of communication.

To render a good and effective apology you must let all your guards down and become defenseless. Even if you are one percent defensive it will seep into your apology and make it ineffective.

Tina tells us three unique factors that make up a good apology

First, you need to be specific and say what you are sorry for; you should specifically speak out what you might have done wrong to hurt the person. If you are at fault, accept and clearly say you had done that.

The second factor is to understand and relay back why it was hurtful to the person. For example, you can say “I’m, sorry, you didn’t deserve that” or “I’m sorry that my tone was harsh,” instead of saying that you were just sorry!

The third factor is regret – you have to show that you are really sorry and regret the fact that your hurt them or did something wrong. You can add things like “if only I could take it back,” or “If I could change things..” to make your apology emotional and sincere.

A good apology will break the ice and can get your children talking to you.

Connect with Tina

Email: [email protected]

Website: tinagilbertson.com

Books

Reconnecting with Your Estranged Adult Child

Constructive Wallowing

The Good Breakup Guide

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Men and women when it comes to retirement

Dr. Sara Yogev is a psychologist who helps people in marital and individual therapy, as well as career coaching. She was a professor at North Western University for 10 years and researched how people combine work life and family life. Her interest and expertise revolve around retirement.

She decided to start working with marriages a long time ago. She believes the relationship with others is so important.

In this episode, you will learn about

* How to make your marriage work

* Psychology of Retirement

* Misconceptions about retirement

* Psychological planning pre-retirement

* Men and women in Retirement

People spend a great amount of time preparing for the financial aspects of retirement but don’t plan for the psychological aspects of retirement. It is very important on a personal and couple level to prepare for this new phase of life.

Two strong misconceptions revolved around retirement

* People think they know how to do leisure. They don’t consider leisure that takes up one-fourth of your life is different than a one week or one-month vacation of leisure.

* People are not aware retirement will create a lot of changes in marriages or significant relationships. Many domains need to be renegotiated.

Men and women

Depression in people over the age of 65 is rising. A lot of seniors are reporting, in addition to medical problems, psychological and depressive issues. Research shows 1/3 of retiree’s experience depression in the first two years of retirement.

The group that tends to have the most difficult time retiring is professional women, even more than men. Research is consistently showing that there is very unhealthy alcohol consumption among seniors. Men tend to drink more than women.

Both men and women report, in the first two years of retirement, low level of marital satisfaction and high level of conflict. Divorce is surprisingly rising the 50 plus age group. Loneliness is a very strong, negative influence on health.

Tips for pre-retirement

* Your vision for retirement might not match your significant other’s vision for retirement. Be prepared that there might be different expectations.

* Disagreements don’t indicate you have a bad relationship. It means you need to adjust.

* Know it’s a transition and there will be some bumps in the road.

* Planning for retirement before you retire.

Links

The Baby Boomer 30-Day Journal

The Couple’s Guide to Happy Retirement and Aging

 Contact Sarah

Sarayogev.com

Phone: 842-470-1925

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Les and Kathe talk about the pros and cons of cruises

In this episode, Les and I talk about our experience of going on a two-week long cruise abroad the Celebrity Millennium ship. The 18-year-old ship took us on a cruise to different Asian countries including Hong Kong, Taiwan, Korea, Japan, and mainland China.

We decided to record an episode discussing what we liked about the cruise (and what we disliked).

Both of us have been going on cruises for a long time and here are our thoughts on the pros and cons of cruises:

The Pros of Cruising:

We booked the tickets for the spa level class, which was the higher class on the cruise. Les and I got a top floor room, and it came with a nice balcony. We just loved the open skies and endless ocean on view!

The upper-class service was as expected. Les and I got our food in a separate blue restaurant, which the cruise said had healthier food to offer. We were even given a personal waiter who ensured that he knew our preferences from before and set our menu accordingly.

What I personally loved the most was that the staff at the restaurant even accommodated our diet choices, making protein shakes for me each morning. We also had a waiter, who always welcomed us by name each time he saw us. A personal touch is always lovely.

All classes in the ship are also given a personal room attendant, and I did find it to be convenient. While the personal attention that we got from the staff was because of the tickets we had booked, I had been to other places which didn’t really meet up to the same standard.

What did I and Les like the most? It’s perhaps being able to meet new people and make friends with others. Both Les and I now think that cruises have an older population, and our travel was a wonderful way to meet people who are our age and of the same mindset.

Did I forget to mention about the captain? He always had a joke up his sleeves, no matter what! If I compare the pros and cons of cruises, I think you cannot argue that the value a cruise experience has to offer.

The Cons of Cruising

Les is prone to seasickness and staying on the 11th floor did not help him! So pro tip: if you stay on an upper floor you will be most affected by rough seas. If you get sick easily, we suggest you book a lower floor room.

Les feels that cruising, in general, robs the chance to explore the culture and habits of the local people. I agree with him. If you want to explore local cultures cruising may not be the best route to go. If you want to immerse yourself in local culture and people, home sharing is what you should be looking for, as it helps you to experience all of that closely at an affordable price.

Sometimes, I did feel our room to be a tad bit warm, but it was probably because of an HVAC problem, which the staff fixed later after I called them.

The only significant problem I had on the entire trip though, was when we were trying to board the ship. The staff, for some reason, misled us to another port. We had to pay extra to our cab to get to the right port and catch the ship! Talk about a stressful beginning!

 

So, there you have our pro's and cons of cruises. Overall this was a good cruise and the service was great. We may be doing more land vacations for a while but I think since cruising has become more affordable, everyone should try it at least once.

 

Diane Dahli's Retirement Journey

Diane Dahli is a retired teacher of 15 years. She is all about enjoying her retirement and living her passion, which is currently her blog. It took a Diane awhile to realize her passion and purpose post-retirement. After attempting to jump back into the classroom and sitting still for quite some time, she decided to pursue writing in the form of a blog. She has loved it ever since and would like to continue doing it as long as she can.

Her Retirement Journey

Diane also loves to read. She has read books like The Writer’s Way and The Purpose of Life. She also joined a self-awareness group in the midst of trying to discover her purpose. Diane wasn’t looking for busyness in her retirement, she was looking for purpose, something meaningful.

She found herself wondering if she retired too early if there was something else she needed to do in teaching. After applying for a job in a classroom, she got a job in a resource room. It was a very intense position. At the end of six months, she clearly knew she didn’t want to go back to teaching.

Diane spent time gardening, volunteer and spending time with her grandson. She also took a year-long course in herbalism and grew herbs, something she still does. While she loved these things, they still didn’t capture her full, long-term attention. She was immersed in life but also had this idea that there must be something more that she wasn’t getting to.

How she found her purpose in Retirement

She eventually decided to revisit something she had always wanted to do, to write. At first, she didn’t know what to write about. Eventually, she decided to write about her generation after researching and discovering blogs, such as Time Goes By, about The Silent Generation.

Her daughter was tech savvy and helped her design her blog website. She has now been blogging for three years. Diane gets up every morning at 5 a.m. to write for about two hours before her husband gets up. She finds all that is involved in blogging, including the social media, very fulfilling.

Retirement advice from Diane:

Get some professional help. If that doesn’t work, just start daydreaming.

In this episode:

* Retirement advice from retirees

* How Diane found her passion and purpose in retirement

* Diane's Retirement Journey

* Settling into doing nothing

* The traditional retirement route

* Diane’s decision to try a second shot at the classroom

* Ways Diane spent her time in retirement

* How Diane got started blogging

Contact A Professional:

* Marianne Oehser

* Lori Cassidy-Haughland

* Janelle Anderson

* Mira Simon

* Jim Palmer

Connect with Diane:

www.stilltheluckyfew.com

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Do you need to downsize your home? What about downsizing your life? Why are these things beneficial as we retire?

Kathy Gottberg is a published author of six books along with numerous magazine articles. On her blog, SMARTliving365.com, Kathy explores ideas and experiences to help create a sustainable, meaningful, happy and rewarding life for herself and others.

Since turning 60, Kathy has become increasingly interested in ideas around positive aging and retirement. Learn more about rightsizing and why downsizing doesn’t have to be a downgrade in this episode.

On today’s show we discuss:

* Rightsizing vs. downsizing

* Why rightsizing is so beneficial as we age and retire

* How to rightsize

What is rightsizing?

Anything you have in your life requires energy, time and effort to maintain. The beauty of rightsizing is it allows you to choose what’s important to you. Use your time, energy and resources on the things you value most.

You can rightsize just about anything in your life. Rightsizing is about getting rid of the things that don’t really matter and focusing on the things that do.

The key with rightsizing is it’s individual. It will be different for everyone.

Areas you might need to rightsize:

* Old habits

* Toxic Habits

* Your current job

Advice for rightsizing:

* Do it with a loved one

* Get away and get quiet

* Find resources to help you

How to downsize your home? Ask yourself these questions.

* What are the top 10 things that are most important to me for the rest of my life?

* Do I need it?

* Can I rent it?

* Can I borrow it?

Kathy firmly believes that if you take the time and effort to downsize your home and rightsize your life, then you will be better prepared to retire and better prepared to make all the choices and decisions in your life that will make you happier and more purposeful.

Kathy’s Books:

Positive Aging: A SMART Living 365 Guide to Thriving and Wellbeing at any Age (2017)

Rightsizing: A SMART Living 365 Guide to Reinventing Retirement Simple

SMART & Happy: A SMART Living 365 Guide to a Sustainable & Meaningful Life (2014)

Finding Grace—A Transformational Journey (2013)

The Complete Guide To Selling Your Own Home in California (2008)

The Findhorn Book of Practical Spirituality (2003)

Links:

SMARTliving365.com

Twitter – @gottgreen

Email – [email protected]

 

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Let’s talk about senior dating – how to date and build intimate relationships as we age

Walker Thornton is 63 years old with a background in Educational Psychology. She has been a writer for years, writing poetry and journaling. Walker started dating post-divorce in her early 50's and started writing about it. She realized there wasn’t a whole lot of information for older women when it came to dating and relationships.

Walker works with individuals to talk about relationships. She has conversations with men and women to revamp their dating profile. She is sometimes called “The Sex Whisperer”.

Senior Dating – The first thing you need to do if you are ready to get out there:

Make sure you are ready and you are not rushing to fill a void. Your desire to go out with someone should be based on mutual interest. Often people rush into the dating world in despair which can lead to not wise choices. Think about what you are looking for. Are you looking for marriage, a long-term relationship, romance, sex or someone to do things with?

Are online dating services a positive or negative way to find people especially for senior dating?

It can be a great or awful way. It depends upon your goal. Be prepared to put in work and effort to find a good match.

Advice for someone getting into the online dating world:

* Be honest about yourself and share your real self.

* Show accurate photos and information so the other person can get a sense of who you really are.

* Talk on the phone prior to the first date.

* Make the first date short, leave yourself an out if it’s not going well.

Walker recommends open communication between sexual partners, especially around comfort levels and using protection. When it comes to flirting, you can simply make direct eye contact, smile and touch the other person’s hand to show interest. You don’t necessarily have to twirl your hair or bat your eyes. There are many ways to express desire or interest subtly.

Words of wisdom for someone just getting back into dating:

* Make a list of the traits you want your ideal partner to have. What are you looking for?

* Get a good, recent picture of yourself you feel comfortable in made for your dating profile.

Walker’s Book:

Inviting Desire, A Guide for Women Who Want to Enhance Their Sex Life

Connect with Walker:

Website: https://www.walkerthornton.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/wit62/

Facebook: https://vtfww.facebook.com/WalkerJThornton/

This post about retirement and retirement lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

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