Rock Your Retirement Show

Ellen Williamson retired in 2007 after 36 years of Federal service with the Department of Defense.  She was also a professor for 15 years as a “jobby”.  I love this combination of hobby and job, or a hobby with pay!

Anyway, she continues to consult with firms interested in Federal Government Acquisition on an ad hoc basis.

Although she has varied interests, including travel, hiking, charity and cultural events, we spent most of our time talking about a senior services club she belongs to called GetOffYourRockers.org.

I took the liberty of going on the website to see what this senior services club was all about.  Here is a list of currently available activities:

* Biking.  Every Monday

* Bowling.  The second and fourth Thursdays

* Camping

* Chair Yoga

* Charitable Work

* Cultural Events

* Foot Golf (I'd never heard of this before now!)

* Golf

* Hiking (once a month on Fridays)

* Kayaking and Stand Up Paddle Boarding

* Potlucks

* Sailing

* Skiing

* Social Hours

* Tennis

* Travel

* Ushering (volunteering at a theatre)

* Walking (every evening)

If you can't get your heart's desire with GOYR, then you are a tough nut to crack for sure!

Not only does this senior services club help her get out and do what she likes to do, but it also helps her keep in touch with friends, and make new ones.

In addition, it provides support for people who are recently retired, or just thinking about it.  You can hang out with someone who's already retired, and you can talk to someone who can help you recognize that retirement doesn't have to be scary.

Ellen reminded me that change of any kind, including retirement, can take up to a year and a half to be OK with it.

We've had many guests say the same thing.  I think joining a club like this is a great way to go.

But what if your town doesn't have a senior services club like GOYR?  You can start one of your own.  These days, Meetup makes it easy, and we've had other episodes that talk about Meetup. Go check them out and then start or join a club of your own.

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

Life is a journey. Lot's of retirees think about retiring as a couple. But what about retirement as a surviving spouse?

In this interview, I talk with Ann Nelson. After suddenly finding herself a widow in 2009, Ann needed to learn – and fast – about finances, survival, and ultimate retirement. Ann is the author of Retire Well, Retire Happy. On her journey, she has found that in the end, it is not all about the money. Living a happy and worthwhile life is extremely important. Her book is about how she navigated through the retirement maze and found her way after being left a widow.

In 2009, Ann was semi-retired but still working part-time flipping houses with her husband when he passed away.

Ann knew she had to figure out her retirement as a surviving spouse

We talked about the very sudden and surprising passing of her husband who had a heart attack at the dinner table. This was the catalyst for the following chain of events in her life:

* She found herself making burial and funeral arrangements

* Anne had to continue renovating homes herself. She worked for about a year before fully retiring. She did find working helped keep her mind busy.

* Then she also realized she had to learn how to sort out finances due to her husband's death

It wasn't until she went back to her and her late husband's home town, she began to grieve.  You have no control over grief and you have to allow yourself the time to grieve. Even though it's been over 8 years since her husband passed she still grieves sometimes.

She had to reimagine herself and where she was going since her life had changed so much

Ann has been keeping herself very busy in her retirement. She is writing and has her own podcast. Ann is also a retirement consultant and has taken courses to learn about investing.

She is also a member of a variety of groups:

* Lions Club

* Toastmasters

* Australian Independent Retirees Association

* National Seniors

In her book she not only talks about the investing and finances in retirement, she also talks about being happy in retirement. (You know I LOVE that!) The non-financial aspects of retirement such as traveling, learning and living arrangements.

Her book is called Retire Well, Retire Happy and can be found on her website: http://www.annnelson.com.au/

Ann's advice: Unless you are involved in outside activities, retirement can be a struggle. Prepare for retirement as a couple but also prepare and think about retirement as a surviving spouse.

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

Alan was nicknamed “Motorbutt”.

How did Alan Mindell get his nickname?  After dancing for years, Alan started running.  He wound up with some injuries, but got into shape.  At age 76, Motorbutt runs three times a week.  How often do you run?  (I don't run. Ever.)

He wanted to come on the show to talk about the Senior Games.

The Senior Games are San Diego's (and other counties) answer to the Senior Olympics. They are 50 years old in 2017 and there is a wide list of sports that are covered.

These sports include Track & Field; Pickleball; Archery; and Ping Pong to name a few.  If you do a Google search, you can find a list of contests and sports.  In San Diego, for the 2017 games, there will be 25 sports, including individual and team sports such as softball, volleyball, and soccer.

Alan's sport is the 400 meter. That's once around the track.  He said that the coolest thing he ever saw was a 100 year old man who competed in the Pole Vault.  Because he was the only participant, he was able to set a world record.  Listen to the episode to hear how he did it…it's pretty interesting!

And, if you are looking to make friends, it's a great place to do that too!

Attend the monthly luncheon.  Check your local Senior Games to see what they offer.

Exercising is one of the best ways we know to stave off disease in our older years.  It's one of the best ways to stay young and healthy.  Why not take that knowledge, along with some friendly competition, to keep in shape?

I asked Alan for his advice for someone who has never exercised before. He said to start slow. Spend a few weeks going “light”.  We at the Rock Your Retirement Show don't give medical advice, except for this:  Before starting any exercise routine, see your physician.

After you get the OK, go out there and have some fun in the senior games!

I interview Michelle Brelaz to talk about putting relationships back together.

Michelle puts relationships back together and her goal is to reduce the divorce rate one couple at a time. She is a certified coach, trained through the official school of Anthony Robbins. Michelle also has a Diploma of Counseling and a Degree in Psychology. She has a deep desire to understand the differences between men and women so that she can provide training that facilitates respect between the genders. In time, she would like to take her training to schools – to help prevent relationship problems before they start.

Michelle had no intention of going into this line of work, but an incident where her husband lashed out and hit their daughter was the catalyst for her starting this path for her career.  She felt the counseling they went to “un-did” them and pulled them apart. She decided she wanted to focus on putting relationships back together.

Pain talks. Pain has a language all of its own. People say things when they are in pain, they don't say when they're in love.

So how is Michelle putting relationships back together?

Michelle feels that counseling for couples should be done individually rather than partners going to counseling together and she will never counsel a husband and wife together. People say things when they are hurt that aren't really part of the problem or important to the relationship. Words can hurt and they are difficult to take back.

She has her clients send her a list, in order of importance, of things they want to discuss.

Women multi-think and they to need a few extra sessions to process everything. She typically has 6 sessions with women and 3 with men

Do not blame each other. There is no one to blame.

Michelle gives us some great tips to stay away from Divorce. Some of those tips are: 

* People rush into relationships before talking about big issues such as money and children

* Once people marry they become selfish. Keep that “What can I do for my partner” attitude you had in the beginning.

* Sit down every 2 weeks and review the last two weeks. Talk about feelings, fun things, what made them happy, good things that happened.

* Your relationship is a small part of your life. Don't give up your life, friends hobbies, sports etc.

* Take care of yourself first and then help your partner and children

* Keep Respect

Michelle's advice: Your relationship in retirement can almost seem like a newly wed stage of getting to know each other again and spending a lot of time together. If you think you want to get a divorce, go and get as much help as possible. You are going to lose money, relationships, extended family, and dating at a later stage in life is very difficult.

To get today’s Freebie, 3 tips for improving your relationships immediately, go to: www.RockYourRetirement.com/relationships

Contact information for Michelle: https://yusrelationshiprepairspecialists.com/

Mentioned in the interview:

Allison Armstong

Tony Robbins (Robbins-Madanes Training) 

Joan Price Rock Your Retirement Episode 061

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

I talk with Lisa Woodruff about organizing your home

Lisa Woodruff believes organization is not a skill you are born with. It is a skill that is developed over time and changes with each season of life. She has helped thousands of women reclaim their homes and finally get organized with her practical tips, encouragement, and humor through her blog and podcast at Organize365.com.

Got clutter? I Do.

I am the “queen of clutter” or, as Lisa put's it, “I have a hard time separating the memory from the object”. Makes perfect sense right? Since listening to Lisa's show, I have been making progress. I am a HUGE fan of Lisa's show and wanted YOU, my listener, to be able to learn tips on organizing your home.

Paper.. how to deal with all of the paper!

When you look at a stack of 100 sheets of paper, you think that is 100 different items that you need to deal with. Lisa looks at your stack of 1000 pieces of paper and she knows that there are no more than 8 categories in that stack of paper and she can go through it super quickly. Lisa gives an amazing tip on how to go through the archived paper. You know, the mounds of paper you have in your filing cabinet or scattered all over your desk, or taking over your kitchen table..that paper. Using Lisa's method, you can be completely through an entire filing cabinet in just a few months.

The Sunday Basket

The Sunday Basket is a system for processing mail, kitchen counter “to do” papers, and ongoing household projects.

Some examples of things you might put in the Sunday basket are:

* Mail

* Receipt for some prescriptions that you picked up

* The dry cleaning ticket

* The little card you get from the doctor's office telling you it's time for your next visit

* A birthday card you bought for your granddaughter

* Let's say you planned on re-hanging some pictures and you went and got command hooks. You would put those in there.

The rule is that you pick a day of the week (Lisa does hers on Sunday) and you take every single thing out of the basket. You then ask yourself one question; can this wait until next Sunday?  If the answer is yes, the item goes back in the basket. If the answer is no, it is left out to be taken care of. She even suggests making a Sunday basket for your spouse or for your loved one that you are caring for!

Lisa gives so many tips on organizing your home in this interview there is no way I could write them all here. If you have any great ideas or tips on organization feel free to post them in the comments below!

Lisa's Books: The Mindset of Organization, Take Back Your House One Phase at a Time

If you would like to contact Lisa you can email her at [email protected] or you can go to her website https://organize365.com/

Or you can check out her virtual Sunday Basket Classes at https://thesundaybasket.com/

Websites mentioned in this interview: Zoom

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

In this interview, we talk about the emotional aspect of retirement.

Becky Kueker was 69 years old when she decided to retire from a 20-year career as a partner in a successful woman-owned commercial architectural firm in St. Louis. This was all part of her grand plan. It was the “Plan” she had created and was totally invested in since she was 40 years old. She was ready to close that door and walk out embracing a whole new chapter in her life. She and her husband had saved, invested, researched and carefully planned their retirement. They even kept a “retirement binder” for all those years with laminated financial spreadsheets, great places to retire, exciting long-awaited trips to take, and all the “how-to self-help” retirement books she could read.

What she never expected was that her retirement plan had covered everything except the emotional aspect of retirement.

Becky became depressed after she retired. She lost a lot of self-esteem and self-worth. Becky's husband still works and she was spending a lot of time alone. She talks about an AARP Article called Out-of-Sync Retirement Syndrome. I think there are many retirees that go through sadness or even depression after retirement. Becky felt like she went from running a 25 million dollar a year company to the newly retired pack of old people. When you walk out and close that door on your work life, part of you literally disappears.

Over-the-Hill Cards aren't as funny when it's you that receives them

It took Becky 2 years to get over her depression. She did some silly things during this time, all while hiding most of it from her husband.

* Becky would put on her pajama's, Elmo slippers, and a ratty old robe. She used a hairbrush as a microphone and walked around the house singing to Elvis CD's

* Stayed in bed all day reading books she had never read before.

* Watched Netflix and old movies

* Discovered Overstock.com and online shopping

Becky made her “retirement binder” but what people really need is an “Emotional playbook Binder”. Plan for the emotional aspect of retirement as well as what you want to do with your life and your marriage before you retire.

How did she get out of her depression?

Becky wrote her book called Hiding in my pajama's. In talking with people for research on her book, she discovered so many people that go through the same thing.

She and her husband also decided they needed their own space. So they bought a new home that allowed them space if they needed it. Becky says it is also important to find hobbies for each of you to do separately, but also plan activities and dates together. Discover the best version of yourself and get dressed and comb your hair every day.

Becky's Book- Hiding in My Pajamas

Email:  [email protected]

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

Henry talks with Dorothy Nicol about her vintage dresses and gowns.

Dorothy is 87 years old. She has lived her entire life in the small town of  Lismore which is located in Victoria Australia. She absolutely loves her hometown and she wanted to do something to help the town and the community when she retired.

Dorothy says her hobby is living in the 20th century

Dorothy has an amazing collection which includes thousands of 20th-century vintage dresses and gowns. She began collection many years ago and the collection grew so much, she needed more space! Henry and Dorothy talk about how she purchased a property she had cherished since she was a young girl, and turned it into a small tourist attraction. Sometimes Dorothy feels like she is unorganized because she has so many items! She admits she isn't like a boutique shop, she prefers the quaint, charming feeling of her store. She likes for people to come into her shop and be able to look around and touch the items. Touching most often is not allowed with vintage garments.

There are a lot of fascinating stories that go along with vintage dresses and gowns

Dorothy is very sentimental. You can hear her well up with emotion as she talks about these stores and the wonderful people she has met throughout the years.

Henry also takes a walk down memory lane with Dorothy as she reminisces about growing up in the town she loves so much. She began working at the age of 16 as a telephonist which was a manual switchboard Operator. She held that same job until she married in 1950 and never worked anywhere else. If you have seen old movies where the operators are pulling plus, that is what Dorothy did!.

She has never learned to use the computer and is full of nostalgia. She prefers a time when lives were a lot more uncomplicated and there was more of a community feeling.

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

I was SO excited that I got to Catherine and Barry Cohen. I am sort of a “fangirl” (but not in a creepy weird way), They have a podcast I listen to all of the time called Together 24/7 and I am a fan! It's about building businesses together but we talked about always being together. Which, they pretty much are!

Barry said that he and Catherine were genetically programmed to work together. Catherine's parents built a retail shoe business and have worked together most of their 55 plus years of marriage. Barry's father is 83 years old and still working! They said that he wouldn't know what to do with himself and his wife would end up killing him if he was home all day every day.  (Sound familiar?)

Barry and Catherine are business strategists and have a company called Business Solutions for Growth. They work with businesses to help them create a plan of action for their business. We talked about what starting a business as a couple after retirement might look light. Retirement can be boring. A lot of people do this not necessarily for the money, but to do something they really enjoy.

Obviously, you love each other, but If you don't like each other, retirement is going to be hard.

Some couples enjoy always being together however, there are some things Barry and Catherine say are important to remember:

* Find common ground

* Communicate

* Have mutual respect for each other

* Enjoy each other

What if always being together isn't for you?

* Vacation separately

* Have days to hang out with friends

* Keep the things you were doing separately before you retired

* Decide which activities you enjoy doing together and what activities you want to do separately.

Regardless of whether you plan on spending every minute together in your retirement or plan on doing things separately, Barry and Cat say you should figure it out before retirement. Decide what you are going to do, write a list and talk about it. Prepare for always being together.

If you are thinking of creating a business, Barry and Catherine have offered my listeners a FREE 30-minute discovery session. You can contact them at [email protected] or by calling 602-399-7430

This post about Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

How do you handle always being together? Do you have any ideas or thoughts? We would love to hear them in the comments below:

Henry interviews Di Lockwood on her passion for art.

Before retiring at the age of 54, Di was a teacher for about 37 years. She always has a strong love for art and she knew once she retired she was going to pursue her passion for art. She even planned and prepared for it before she retired by studying and taking courses. When she did retire, she took up visual arts and decided she like printmaking the most. Di created an art gallery in her home. It is a not for profit gallery and she only charged a small amount just to help pay for the insurance she has to have.

Di doesn't do what she does for the money (she doesn't really make money) she truly loves what she does and has a true passion for art.

Henry sat down with her and talked about her passion.  Di talked about her experience teaching art. She told us a story of a young man from Afghanistan who she said, was extremely talented. He had never painted once in his life until he was in the Darwin Detention Center. (Which is an Australian Immigration detention facility)

Henry and Di also talk about:

* How she made a studio in her home  (wouldn't that be lovely!)

* Her idea to set up a not for profit art gallery for emerging artists

* How she was able to provide a space where refugee women could gather and she helped them establish themselves in the community

* Jackson Pollock’s painting ‘Blue Poles’

Not to be outdone, Di has her own Facebook Page!  If you would like to check out Di's Facebook go to: https://www.facebook.com/groups/librandogma/

Thank YOU for telling your friends about the show, leaving comments below, and sharing episodes you really like on Facebook, and reviewing the show on iTunes.

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com

Let's face it, our spouses can get on our nerves! And once you retire, you're gonna be spending even more glorious (or not so glorious) time together. In this episode, I talk with Lori Ann Davis on marriage advice after retirement.

Lori has over 28 years’ experience empowering individuals and couples to live richer, happier lives. I asked her to come on the show because she is the author of Unmasking Secrets to Unstoppable Relationships: How to Find, Keep and Renew Love and Passion in Your Life.

You want a marriage that is not only surviving but is actually thriving.

According to Lori, just because you don't fight and your marriage seems OK, it doesn't necessarily mean it is. She gives some great marriage advice after retirement.

Key Elements for working on your marriage (and Lori says yes, you have to work on your marriage all the time) 

* Constantly reconnect with each other

* Be interested

* Get to know them on a deeper level

* Make sure you are spending enough time together

* Talk about your expectations for this phase of your life

* Discuss your dreams and interests

The Do's and Don'ts

DO:

* Discover who your spouse is

* Date each other

* Remember why you chose each other

DON'T

* Spend 24/7 together

* Rush into anything if you have grown apart

* Spend zero amount of time together

What do you do if you have grown apart?

* Sit down and start dating each other again

* Look for the positives and the good things

* Renew the passion and intimacy

* Flirt

* Sit next to each other

* Stop for a kissing break

* Entice

* Hold hands

* Leave a flirty message on the pillow or sent a flirtatious text

* Make out and be playful

Lori and I also talk about when it's time to get help for your relationship whether it is a counselor or a coach. Lori says the sooner you get help the better and don't wait until you have given up.

Should you give marriage advice to a friend if they ask for it? Comment below if you have any thoughts on this subject.

Book:  Unmasking Secrets to Unstoppable Relationships: How to Find, Keep and Renew Love and Passion in Your Life.

Contact information: www.lorianndavis.com

This post about retirement and Retirement Lifestyle first appeared on http://RockYourRetirement.com