Roman Emperors: Totalus Rankium

This week the son of mighty Maximian is under the microscope. Does Maxentius live up to his father? or even go beyond? He is not invited to the Tetrachic Party and he is not happy. Find out how the simple garden pea can masterfully be deployed as a metaphor for the pursuit for power.

Also: We say goodbye to the Praetorian Guard, so we look back and decide on the best Praetorian Prefect.

Severus II. If you liked Severus, that will probably have no bearing on your opinion of Severus II. He was given the chance to rule by the current emperor; all he had to do was defeated the last emperor using the last emperors army against him… hmmm. anyone spot the flaw?

Also: this week we look into the Edict of Maximum Prices! can Rob convince Jamie that this is interesting? find out! 

The 4th of the original Tetrarchs and perhaps the most controversial. Was he a genocidal maniac, hellbent on eradicating monotheism? Or did he simple want to teach the christians some discipline? Galerius himself has questions: Was his father a snake? What do the Arminians keep under their armour? Where is Valerian nowadays? And why do the Christians not want to stop being Christian? After all, he is killing a lot of them, surely they should be more co-operative? 

"Well done Constantius! You are Caesar! You now rule all the land from here to... well, you see that island over there? Yes? The one held by the enemy, that's the one, yes, well, that's now yours! well done! Off you go to rule..."

See how Constantius tackles the might of the roaring English Channel and the screaming Frankish pirates. Can he defeat the first British Empire? Find out in this week's Totalus Rankium!

Diocletian, Diocletian, Diocletian... That's all anyone wants to talk about. But his colleague Maximian has a lot to offer! Or at least he thinks he does. He is one of Rome's longest rulers, so what did he actually do? Find out: How he lost a Provence with a badly worded note! how he attempted to invade using wardrobes! How he spent his peaceful retirement! And much much more!

"Crisis? What Crisis?" these words may have brought down a labour govenment in the 1970s*, but when Diocletian uttered them in in the 280s everyone saw it as a challenge chaos that had prevaled for the last 50 years. Let's face it, it's time someone rolled up their sleves and sorted this mess out...

*apologies for the semi-obscure 70s UK politics reference. 

The end of the Crisis is here! Does Carinus usher in a new golden age? Or is he the last of the dregs that have to be hosed down the drain pipe before Rome can get on its feet again? You can probably guess by the length of the episode! But who knows? Maybe he has that certain Je Na Caesar?

Murder! Death! Intrigue! ok, Numerian's rule was no more interesting than you last drive across the country, but with added eye pain, but his death is a murder mystery that would make Columbo stop and ask just one more thing. So, who killed him? The evil Aper, or the diabolical Diocles? 

Carus may well have done some shocking things; electrified the people of Rome with his lightning speed and thunderous voice. He may have seen the storm clouds brewing over Persia and decided it was time to show some Shock and Awe. He may have bolted out of Antioch and with javelins and forks ready to strike. But unfortunately, we don't know. Our sources have dried up a bit... But at least we know how he died! (sort of).