Romancing Nancy Drew

NED PROPOSES TO NANCY!!! Because it’s sweeps week! Ned’s home for summer break and Nancy doesn’t understand why he’s been ghosting her… and then he asks her to marry him. Nancy’s evil twin then announces that SHE is marrying Ned, in a shocking twist!!! My fix-it fic: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1736789

Nancy, Ned, Bess, and George head to Hawaii to find a missing 16-year-old girl and, in the process, are nearly killed in an engineered car crash, exploded, and thrown into a legit volcano! Nancy’s getting all hard-boiled up in here, y’all!

In which Nancy stumbles into a Regency-era extortion racket. Ned is super cute in this one, and they have hurt/comfort scenes! Also, a barn literally burns down. It’s all you’ve ever wanted, and more! (Is Felix a vampire, or just an aspiring pimp? Also food for thought.)

After Ned sets fire to the barbecue, spoiling his domestic-goddess cottagecore phase, he and Nancy drag Bess and George to a fancy French cooking school, where the head chef collapses during orientation and Nancy and Ned’s teacher, the lead singer of Nine Inch Nails, is discovered as a corpse-sickle in the walk-in. It’s up to the Fab Four to stop a dangerous killer, while occasionally breaking for moonlit walks and van abductions. Pepe Le Pew also guest-stars.

Nancy’s hitting up Mardi Gras, y’all! Our fave sleuth (who just smiles and agrees when Bess calls her “the best sleuth,” which is such a weird word) heads to NOLA to both grab some beads AND snatch some sheets off some super casual ghosts. Ned pops up near the end and manages to get some tackling in, which he needs anyway. Many moonlight boat rides and even more casual racism! Welcome to flavor country!

Oh man. Nancy searches for a lost stained glass window, she and her cousin are menaced by Uncle Fester, and peacocks. So many peacocks. Also: any mail carrier who enters Nancy’s house is forfeiting retirement.

In which Nancy is accused repeatedly of being A WITCH! Nancy agrees to recover some stolen antique furniture, including some sweet George Washington-adjacent ones, and along with Bess and George tries to find a runaway Amish girl. Quilting, barn dances, giant muddy pits of doom, a small boy with a slingshot! This club’s got it all!!!

In which NANCY AND NED ARE MISTAKEN FOR AN ENGAGED COUPLE. My screaming lasts several minutes. Nancy is helping the Fontaines, a brother and sister who are refugees from Europe. They have been warned to leave town, OR ELSE. Nancy and her friends and future mother in law take over the siblings’ dancing school. Ned pretends he and Nancy are married. A farmhouse burns down. You know, normal things.

In which real life Disney Princess and friend to all animals Nancy Drew is given a mysterious horse-charm bracelet and decides to track down the destitute previous owner, gets choked out during a date with Ned (get your mind out of the gutter!), and trick rides horses like an absolute rock star. Also starring a Chekhov’s lion and L. Ron Hubbard, natch.

Ned gets hit by a car!!!! It happens when he’s coming to visit Nancy on a case, so she feels absolutely horrible about it. Nancy is investigating a disturbing event: Bess answered a personal ad and the guy she met was creepy and threatened her. Nancy heads to the newspaper office to see if she can discover the identity of the guy who threatened Bess. So much hurt/comfort potential!!!!