Romancing Nancy Drew

Nancy heads to San Diego in February, at the behest of a high school classmate, Susan, whose roommate just died under unusual circumstances. The roommate had confessed that she knew a “dangerous” secret, and Susan thinks she was killed. Along the way, Nancy stays faithful to her man despite being away from him for Valentine’s Day and gets the absolute daylights beaten out of her, cause people are just sometimes pimp slapped on public California beaches, y’all. Get ready for sorority intrigue, fraternity rings, and some veiled same-sex crushes!

Nancy investigates a string of burglaries around town that seem to be connected to the River Heights Country Club. She’s tossed into (and almost drowned in) the pool! It’s July 4, y’all, and Ned’s here so there are plenty of fireworks (mostly literal, sadly!). Also, the newest detective in the RHPD is unconvinced of Nancy’s awesomeness, so you know he’s gonna be disabused of that real quick.

Nancy and Bess take a “vacation” to New York to see Aunt Eloise and sightsee, and… get entangled in a mystery. The lead actor of a popular soap has been receiving threats, around the same time that he was offered and accepted a film contract. Is he also totally hot for Bess? Incredibly. Be ready for some body shaming and mental health problematics, y’all!

George wants more than anything to win the World Junior (Frosty) Champion crown! Or sash, or maybe scepter. She’s in a bike race being held near River Heights, but has been threatened and victim of several suspicious “accidents.” Meanwhile, Bill Gates discovers the code for Clippy has been stolen! While on this case, Nancy tangles with a killer shark (literally) but more importantly, NED SWEEPS HER INTO HIS ARMS AND RUNS AWAY FROM A FIRE WITH HER. Solid 10/10, no notes.

Ned is described as Nancy’s “occasional” date in this one, which I forgive only thanks to some cheek kissing. Nancy is on the trail of a gang of clever house thieves who strike during parties held by rich people, which would have been fine if they had just been redistributing that wealth, y’all. George poses as Nancy and is kidnapped and has PTSD as a result! Also, there’s a French maid costume, which you know Ned is 100% here for. Come celebrate 20 years of Nancy and Ned’s longing glances slash the longest college career on record!

This is better described as “Mystery of the Mink Hoodwink.” Nancy, after nearly getting taken out by a rogue car, discovers that a mysterious Mrs. Channing has been selling local ladies sweet furs and worthless stock certificates. Then she finds that they’re posing as her! She’s also tapped to help her dad solve a case in Montreal, and they meet a trapper who looks like someone who couldn’t decide between cosplaying as Daniel Boone or Santa. Grab the boys and head to the Adirondacks, it’s villain catching time!

Nancy meets up with a himbo archaeologist (Bradley Cooper) who is searching for two things: a missing colleague and a priceless, possibly terrible, treasure. She also attends a dinner party at Ned’s frat, saves said himbo from a starvation death, and endures the dreaded TORTURE BRACELET. (It’s a standard bracelet, plus, y’know, evil.) Academic petty squabbles ahoy! Come get lost in the Florida keys!

Carson Drew (Jon Hamm) is called to Boston to help his old buddy Captain Easterly, who wants to buy a boat. Said boat is being searched regularly for something, so Nancy comes along to check that out. Bess, George, Ned, Burt, and Dave join in. Nancy and Ned, who are clearly married now, visit a tattoo parlor and save the boat from a bad storm. A good time is had by all! Except when the Vulcan neck pinches are happening.

Nancy is investigating two mysteries: missing pottery, and a missing father and daughter. Both the pottery and the relatives are Chinese, and signs point to the clue of a leaning chimney near a pit of very special clay. Very important: Nancy and Ned attend a wedding! (Are they secretly married and is Ned investigating some complicated mystery at Emerson? Why not???)

Carson Drew (Jon Hamm, inventor of toaster strudel) is charged with bribing a judge to save his newspaper client reporter from revealing her source. Nancy springs into action! There’s actual murder in this one, y’all!